Distant Domination.....No contact Domination

[neonflux]

Eh, read, self-educate, talk to a lot of boobed females.

I prefer to undergo the things I would inflict, but I don't have balls and I'm not as much an appreciator of pain as those I inflict on. I still run a reasonably safe and fun show on a pair of nuts.

OK, admission, I mispoke on this one. Clearly, a man cannot understand breast bondage/suspension any more than a woman can really understand cbt. I think I was responding more to a general concern for safety and the idea that one could conduct a relationship soley online and explore things that are clearly edge play and carry grave possibilities for harm without ever having had RL experience of any kind. Clearly, Boobsqueezer, this is not the case as you have explained in your profile. Still, it all makes me very nervous... Then again, I am not your sub.

There is one BDSM site that shows an EE or bigger breast with a meat skewer through it! Not at all safe in my book even in RL.

Then again, I've never understood the desire to be castrated either, but there are some men who do it...

Neon

 

[the captians wench]

If a web cam is used it is possible to give more accurate instructions,but



How can a boobless male know what breast suspension could do to the female. There is one BDSM site that shows an EE or bigger breast with a meat skewer through it! Not at all safe in my book even in RL.

I can see the day when the authorities ask for someone to be extradited because a remote sub followed orders and died!

the skewer idea scares the beegeebees out of me!
That would deffinitly not be something to try over a distance, the thought of it being supervised is bad enough!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

My girl and I are a success story for a couple that started out on-line. We talked on the phone & online for a long time before circumstances allowed us to begin the transition to real time. From the first moment RT it was like we have been doing this together all our lives...

That is becuase we both have taken it seriously and worked together to be successful.

 

[Erotica_Writings]

You are absolutely right.. but just take my own case. There was this one lady who was exploring her submissive side and was quite elderly! When I had messaged that I would be willing to guide, the Q was "what can you,a 23 yr old, offer to a lady .... yrs old?" We then proceeded to discuss this and she was convinced about my inclination and there she found a person she might willingly be under! Then there was naturally this issue of physical presence...which is NOT possible!

Due to geographical constraints and due to other factors finding a local sub/slave is NOT that easy. To be frank, I did come across one from my own country (not my place just my own country and that girl confessed she was doing it for the money in it!!!). And I know that many profiles of Indians that confess to be males might just be females...faking is common here in INDIA! This is largely due to the taboo surrounding the topic of sex per se and more so if it is something alternative lifestyle! It is NOT legal in India to be in BDSM relationship per se! So, we are to be satisfied with a fantasy (with consensual adults which no one can prevent/curb!).

At these circumstances, the only possibility is VERY long distance domination...Hope i have cleared that doubt/aspect. Why is it that I can only take online subs/slaves for training!

Regards,
boobsqueeezer

It is possible for a sub who has not come out of the closet so to speak. One who is married or not sure can get his quencher through emails and online private chats. You do not have to be the one who is actually inflicting pain directing it is can be as productive or capable of producing a result and humiliation can be done anywhere phone, email a recording.

 

[Auraka6669]

My girl and I are a success story for a couple that started out on-line. We talked on the phone & online for a long time before circumstances allowed us to begin the transition to real time. From the first moment RT it was like we have been doing this together all our lives...

That is becuase we both have taken it seriously and worked together to be successful.

Well I do think this thread has taken up two camps...

Camp A: Those who aim for RT or are in a LD relationship, and are open/honest with everything. (Plans on meeting, realistically set expectations, and commitment)

And

Camp B: Those who are only in it for the moment, nothing beyond online (maybe phone) and don't talk about much else. (Note this doesn't mean people are being less honest, just that they aren't talking about everything... with no long term/RT aspirations)

And, now added (Thank you FF)

Camp C: In this camp people are looking for a long term relationship if possible. They are honest, open and talk about more than BDSM or sex. They get to know one another as fully as online and their limits allow. However this group does not seek or expect to take things into RT because of RL constraints.

I do think it's important to acknowledge each, and keep that in mind if we are going to have any talks on the subject without it degenerating into an explanation of what "No contact domination" means. From my PoV, and take it for what it's worth... it can be summed up in the two camps I posted above and the expanded upon from there.

From where I sit most who have displayed interest in this thread (myself included) are in "Camp A" not to discount "Camp B", but just acknowledge it and move on from there.

My ramblings and thoughts, for what they are worth.

 

[FurryFury]

Well I do think this thread has taken up two camps...

Camp A: Those who aim for RT or are in a LD relationship, and are open/honest with everything. (Plans on meeting, realistically set expectations, and commitment)

And,

Camp B: Those who are only in it for the moment, nothing beyond online (maybe phone) and don't talk about much else. (Note this doesn't mean people are being less honest, just that they aren't talking about everything... with no long term/RT aspirations)

I do think it's important to acknowledge each, and keep that in mind if we are going to have any talks on the subject without it degenerating into an explanation of what "No contact domination" means. From my PoV, and take it for what it's worth... it can be summed up in the two camps I posted above and the expanded upon from there.

From where I sit most who have displayed interest in this thread (myself included) are in "Camp A" not to discount "Camp B", but just acknowledge it and move on from there.

My ramblings and thoughts, for what they are worth.

May I present Camp C?

In this camp people are looking for a long term relationship if possible. They are honest, open and talk about more than BDSM or sex. They get to know one another as fully as online and their limits allow. However this group does not seek or expect to take things into RT because of RL constraints.

Fury

 

[Auraka6669]

May I present Camp C?

In this camp people are looking for a long term relationship if possible. They are honest, open and talk about more than BDSM or sex. They get to know one another as fully as online and their limits allow. However this group does not seek or expect to take things into RT because of RL constraints.

Fury

I knew I was going to forget somthing.

And then there is Camp C. I'll edit my orginal post to add it in

 

[boobsqueeezer]

The discussion is moving in a healthy manner...! Thanks to Furry too for her valuble views....that add substance to this thread!

---
Boobsqueeezer

 

[FurryFury]

<snip> (Thank you FF) <snip>

You are welcome.

The discussion is moving in a healthy manner...! Thanks to Furry too for her valuble views....that add substance to this thread!

---
Boobsqueeezer

*blushes*

Fury

 

[boobsqueeezer]

It is possible for a sub who has not come out of the closet so to speak. One who is married or not sure can get his quencher through emails and online private chats. You do not have to be the one who is actually inflicting pain directing it is can be as productive or capable of producing a result and humiliation can be done anywhere phone, email a recording.

*nods....

 

[MasterPhoenix]

not looking to discount each of the other camps in this thread...

I know that we took a lot of crap from people saying we werent real cuz we werent real time.. tho everything we did was as if we were together...

 

[lil_slave_rose]

But for the most part I can't help but think a great many subs would be like me and lie.

*sighs* i am and have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. and i have NEVER dreamt of lying to Master when He's ordered me to do something, whether it be a punishment or not. in my opinion, if you are going to lie to Him then you are not serious about being in that relationship. Our relationshiop is one based on complete trust. Yes when He orders me to do something He has to TRUST that i will do it and not just tell Him i did. there have been many times i could have lied to Him, Many more times that i did something 'wrong' that He never would have known about if i had not told Him i did it. i don't know why pretty much everyone who is in a R/L D/s relationship assumes those of us in an 'online' relationship are not serious about the relationship. just because we are not living together does not mean that our relationship isn't real, because believe me, it's very real. i guess maybe to understand it you'd just have to live it, but i don't think it's fair how this is alwasy the assumption. i am serious about my D/s relationship with Master, i've never lied to Him, i've had no reason to ..and if i did, then it would be time to end the relationship because it would mean i was no longer willing to give myself to Him and then what's the point after that?

 

[MasterPhoenix]

*sighs* i am and have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. and i have NEVER dreamt of lying to Master when He's ordered me to do something, whether it be a punishment or not. in my opinion, if you are going to lie to Him then you are not serious about being in that relationship. Our relationshiop is one based on complete trust. Yes when He orders me to do something He has to TRUST that i will do it and not just tell Him i did. there have been many times i could have lied to Him, Many more times that i did something 'wrong' that He never would have known about if i had not told Him i did it. i don't know why pretty much everyone who is in a R/L D/s relationship assumes those of us in an 'online' relationship are not serious about the relationship. just because we are not living together does not mean that our relationship isn't real, because believe me, it's very real. i guess maybe to understand it you'd just have to live it, but i don't think it's fair how this is alwasy the assumption. i am serious about my D/s relationship with Master, i've never lied to Him, i've had no reason to ..and if i did, then it would be time to end the relationship because it would mean i was no longer willing to give myself to Him and then what's the point after that?

I could not ask for a better slave...

 

[catalina_francisco]

*sighs* i am and have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. and i have NEVER dreamt of lying to Master when He's ordered me to do something, whether it be a punishment or not. in my opinion, if you are going to lie to Him then you are not serious about being in that relationship. Our relationshiop is one based on complete trust. Yes when He orders me to do something He has to TRUST that i will do it and not just tell Him i did. there have been many times i could have lied to Him, Many more times that i did something 'wrong' that He never would have known about if i had not told Him i did it. i don't know why pretty much everyone who is in a R/L D/s relationship assumes those of us in an 'online' relationship are not serious about the relationship. just because we are not living together does not mean that our relationship isn't real, because believe me, it's very real. i guess maybe to understand it you'd just have to live it, but i don't think it's fair how this is alwasy the assumption. i am serious about my D/s relationship with Master, i've never lied to Him, i've had no reason to ..and if i did, then it would be time to end the relationship because it would mean i was no longer willing to give myself to Him and then what's the point after that?

I have been in a RL online D/s relationship and am now in a RL face to face 24/7 relationship and while both had their good points, I now realise the difference and recognise why it is so different. Just one example is that even though in my online experience we were both there for each other in good and bad as best we could at a distance, there was not the same level of responsibility shared in a face to face relationship where you are continually together and what you do does have more effect in a a practical and commitment sense than when online. Online can contain mental domination, though I do find it is limited by the no contact, but it cannot contain physical hands on face to face domination and serving.

For instance, while in an online relationship we both had our lives to live, responsibilities which were ours alone and not shared, friends which we didn't share, families which did not know each other and which we did not have to interact with, our own finances and decisions to make, and we only came together when online or on the phone.....in my RL relationship we share and know each others friends, we know each others family and are there for them as a couple instead of individuals, our finances are one instead of 2, we do nearly everything together, and daily and long term decisions impact on both of us and so are made with that in mind...IOW, our lives are intertwined in every way, not just when we sit down at the computer or do something nice or asked for by the other, or think of them. There is also the element of never having time to do anything based on my own choice....even when online when you get in your car, go to work, talk to friends, you are not under the watchful eye of your Dominant. That is not to say you don't tell them about what took place, but it is not the same as being in that same space day in day out.

As to the honesty thing, I was never dishonest, but many who are online see dishonesty as OK which I believe is because the relationship itself is great, it is said to be real, but in reality it is not felt to be as committed or hold the real implications of lying in RL. Yes, he can stop speaking to you for a week or whatever, or even drop you if you lie, but in reality how much does that impact on your RL except for the heartache and gap where once you spent time talking and doing things for each other but apart and usually not of the variety of activites which have any deep impact on your life. It is not that one is better than the other, but they are vastly different and as Marquis has said in another thread, when serious advice is needed based oin expereince, the experiences are vastly different and not that interchangeable in every way. I find these days when asked about online relationships and what I think someone should do that I often no longer have an answer as it is just so different and too far behind me for me to advise from an informed position.

Catalina

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I have been in a RL online D/s relationship and am now in a RL face to face 24/7 relationship and while both had their good points, I now realise the difference and recognise why it is so different. Just one example is that even though in my online experience we were both there for each other in good and bad as best we could at a distance, there was not the same level of responsibility shared in a face to face relationship where you are continually together and what you do does have more effect in a a practical and commitment sense than when online. Online can contain mental domination, though I do find it is limited by the no contact, but it cannot contain physical hands on face to face domination and serving.

For instance, while in an online relationship we both had our lives to live, responsibilities which were ours alone and not shared, friends which we didn't share, families which did not know each other and which we did not have to interact with, our own finances and decisions to make, and we only came together when online or on the phone.....in my RL relationship we share and know each others friends, we know each others family and are there for them as a couple instead of individuals, our finances are one instead of 2, we do nearly everything together, and daily and long term decisions impact on both of us and so are made with that in mind...IOW, our lives are intertwined in every way, not just when we sit down at the computer or do something nice or asked for by the other, or think of them. There is also the element of never having time to do anything based on my own choice....even when online when you get in your car, go to work, talk to friends, you are not under the watchful eye of your Dominant. That is not to say you don't tell them about what took place, but it is not the same as being in that same space day in day out.

As to the honesty thing, I was never dishonest, but many who are online see dishonesty as OK which I believe is because the relationship itself is great, it is said to be real, but in reality it is not felt to be as committed or hold the real implications of lying in RL. Yes, he can stop speaking to you for a week or whatever, or even drop you if you lie, but in reality how much does that impact on your RL except for the heartache and gap where once you spent time talking and doing things for each other but apart and usually not of the variety of activites which have any deep impact on your life. It is not that one is better than the other, but they are vastly different and as Marquis has said in another thread, when serious advice is needed based oin expereince, the experiences are vastly different and not that interchangeable in every way. I find these days when asked about online relationships and what I think someone should do that I often no longer have an answer as it is just so different and too far behind me for me to advise from an informed position.

Catalina

Catalina,

I understand that has been your expierence in on-line Dom sub, but you have not walked the proverbial mile in our moccisins. For both of us we still feel the Master slave bond even during the very few hours in a day that we are not talking to one another. It sucks beyond recognition that we are not together here in person, but we do make the best of what we have.

The biggest evidence of how real our bond is: Once we got together in real time we fell into Dom sub like we have done it for years, becuase we have on the phone...

Our commitment to one another is as strong and real as if we were already living together, but due to circumstances we are not right yet, tho we will be in a matter of months.

 

[boobsqueeezer]

bump!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Bump

One good thing about the distence is it really gave Me a chance to voice train....

 

[Erotica_Writings]

Happy New Year

 

[FurryFury]

 

[JupitersGirl]

Catalina,

I understand that has been your expierence in on-line Dom sub, but you have not walked the proverbial mile in our moccisins. For both of us we still feel the Master slave bond even during the very few hours in a day that we are not talking to one another. It sucks beyond recognition that we are not together here in person, but we do make the best of what we have.

The biggest evidence of how real our bond is: Once we got together in real time we fell into Dom sub like we have done it for years, becuase we have on the phone...

Our commitment to one another is as strong and real as if we were already living together, but due to circumstances we are not right yet, tho we will be in a matter of months.

I didn't read Catalina's post as implying that a physical bond is any more real than on online bond might be. I took her post to mean that a real life connection is more all-encompassing than an online situation might be. And how can it not be when you are interacting on so many more levels?

Think of all the new expereiences and growth that you have before you when circumstances are right for you to be together. And thank all the stars in the heavens that it is so.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I didn't read Catalina's post as implying that a physical bond is any more real than on online bond might be. I took her post to mean that a real life connection is more all-encompassing than an online situation might be. And how can it not be when you are interacting on so many more levels?

Think of all the new expereiences and growth that you have before you when circumstances are right for you to be together. And thank all the stars in the heavens that it is so.

Well, with out second meet coming soon... We will be working on the transition...

But we laid a very good foundation during our time apart, and when we are together, it is so right...

 

[Jeanetta]

It bothers me

Something some subs have said. Lying. The single biggest thing to stand out in a relationship between b sub/dom is trust. As a sub u trust ur dom to know ur limits and protect u. As a dom u trust ur sub to always follow ur instructions and in ur abscence to punish him/herself as u would. If there is to b lying whats the point in continuing or persuing a relationship. If as a sub u feel ur dom has asked something u cant do then say so, be honest BUT NEVER LIE! Nothing makes me as angry or dissappoints me more than lies. It breaks the trust which can never be fixed. Just my crappy opinion, maybe some of u feel the same.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Something some subs have said. Lying. The single biggest thing to stand out in a relationship between b sub/dom is trust. As a sub u trust ur dom to know ur limits and protect u. As a dom u trust ur sub to always follow ur instructions and in ur abscence to punish him/herself as u would. If there is to b lying whats the point in continuing or persuing a relationship. If as a sub u feel ur dom has asked something u cant do then say so, be honest BUT NEVER LIE! Nothing makes me as angry or dissappoints me more than lies. It breaks the trust which can never be fixed. Just my crappy opinion, maybe some of u feel the same.

the only sub i saw that she would lie is one who also clarified that she has told Him that straight up, so in doing that, she was being honest with Him. just my two cents

 

[FurryFury]

I agree as I've already said about lying. However everyone lies. It's just not always obvious. A great many people lie to themselves and don't even know it. When one lies to oneself, it can come off passionately truthful too. I mean it's scary.

Anyone who says they want the truth and nothing but the truth is asking for a let down because people are deceitful at times. It's doesn't make them bad it simply makes them human. One would do well to allow for human errors, that too is part of love and trusting IMO.

Fury

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Bumping one for the archives....

damn we were saccrine...