Do you consider yourself Demi-Sexual?

[djrip]

I don't really think this is something that people are or are not. I think people exist on a spectrum from high emotional association with sex to low. And I think one's position on the spectrum changes, a little bit with mood and current thoughts/feelings/activities/potential partner availability and types of potential partners, and a lot with major life changing events like divorce, bad breakup, parents splitting up or abandoning one, betrayal by a trusted person, etc.

I think the people who prefer high emotional connection might still sometimes just feel attraction to someone based on appearance, but not be inclined to act on it. And people who go from one night stand to one night stand might sometimes feel or desire some emotional connection. Someone like that might actively avoid or suppress their emotional connections if they do begin to feel them, out of a fear of codependency or commitment. And a few may be at the extreme ends of the spectrum and genuinely never desire any connection, or never feel the slightest bit of attraction without connection.

Personally I feel I fall about two thirds of the way toward emotional connection preference. I am attracted to attractive people I don't know. I enjoy porn. I could see myself enjoying a one night stand. But I'd most likely prefer that one night stand continue on as a relationship, and I haven't acted on sex with anyone I haven't had an emotional connection with IRL.

 

[stickygirl]

Another made up term for a society that so desperately needs to classify everything, then feel all special when it fits them.

Somehow this world survived for thousands of years without all this made up bullshit.

...and right on cue!!
bah humbug

 

[la_ruche]

Another made up term for a society that so desperately needs to classify everything, then feel all special when it fits them.

Ahhh… come on - Everyone is Special!

 

[lovecraft68]

I love the irony of people who are always pushing that everyone should be equal and treated the same, are also the ones doing everything they can to tell everyone how different they are.

Any new "discovery" immediately becomes a trend and every dipshit on Tik Tok is suddenly "Demi sexual"...I always knew I was, but people tried to tell I wasn't! They were holding me back, now I'm validated!!!! Until the next thing comes along that I need to be.

How we feel is how we feel and that's organic. Feeling the need to squeal to the world what you are and dare them to challenge you over it, or seek the approval of the mindless masses is contrived attention whoring.

 

[Altissimus]

I love the irony of people who are always pushing that everyone should be equal and treated the same, are also the ones doing everything they can to tell everyone how different they are.

Any new "discovery" immediately becomes a trend and every dipshit on Tik Tok is suddenly "Demi sexual"...I always knew I was, but people tried to tell I wasn't! They were holding me back, now I'm validated!!!! Until the next thing comes along that I need to be.

How we feel is how we feel and that's organic. Feeling the need to squeal to the world what you are and dare them to challenge you over it, or seek the approval of the mindless masses is contrived attention whoring.

I agree with the sentiment that society seems to be pulling everyone down to the lowest common denominator, and that the taller you stand the more a target you become.

I also think your position is somewhat flawed by the fact that the majority of responses here have been a simple 'nope'. Besides, this is a light-hearted thread (or it was, until about post #26) and not a trend on Tiktok. Hey, who knows, maybe in a few months, when it's trending on Tiktok, you'll be validated. Well done in advance. Until then... maybe less coffee?

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Another made up term for a society that so desperately needs to classify everything, then feel all special when it fits them.

Somehow this world survived for thousands of years without all this made up bullshit.

Things exist, even if no name for them exists. From the fact that people in this thread are saying this word does/doesn't describe them, I feel that the name has value.

So strange for an author to be opposed to MORE words describing MORE of the human experience. Obviously things like this are a spectrum, but if something like this is very important to you, then what is the harm in giving it a name?

 

[lovecraft68]

I suppose it stands to reason that the society who has created 20+ fake genders would in turn have to create fake sexualities to go along with them.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Emotional attachment is very important to me when it comes to sexuality. When I met my soul mate in college, we dated for a while before the idea of the sexual side of our relationship ever really came to the forefront of my mind.

We were each other's first (well, I mean, I had fooled around previously, but no "sex") and we were able to grow our sexuality together. It was a beautiful thing.

So while demi-sexual is not something that I ever went out of my way to call myself, it is a descriptor that fits me incredibly well.

Is there a term for a woman who is only attracted to her husband who took her cherry after dating for a looong time, and she knows that she can never experience that ever again with anyone else, so now the idea of having sex with anyone else is absolutely inconceivable? Because I'm kinda like that.

 

[Bamagan]

Is there a term for a woman who is only attracted to her husband who took her cherry after dating for a looong time, and she knows that she can never experience that ever again with anyone else, so now the idea of having sex with anyone else is absolutely inconceivable? Because I'm kinda like that.

Boring.

 

[AlinaX]

I suppose it stands to reason that the society who has created 20+ fake genders would in turn have to create fake sexualities to go along with them.

Didn't you leave? Or was that an attention-seeking fake?

 

[AchtungNight]

Emotional attachment is very important to me when it comes to sexuality. When I met my soul mate in college, we dated for a while before the idea of the sexual side of our relationship ever really came to the forefront of my mind.

We were each other's first (well, I mean, I had fooled around previously, but no "sex") and we were able to grow our sexuality together. It was a beautiful thing.

So while demi-sexual is not something that I ever went out of my way to call myself, it is a descriptor that fits me incredibly well.

Is there a term for a woman who is only attracted to her husband who took her cherry after dating for a looong time, and she knows that she can never experience that ever again with anyone else, so now the idea of having sex with anyone else is absolutely inconceivable? Because I'm kinda like that.

Inconceivable!

You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

By the way, I’ve spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocaine powder. Oh, you have too? Then perhaps I should let that brave woman you’re ignoring who wiggled out of her ropes while you weren’t looking stab you with her concealed knife.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Boring.

Hey, it's no secret that my sex life is vanilla as fuck.
But it's also no secret that I love it like that.
Why try to fix was isn't broken?

 

[Bamagan]

Hey, it's no secret that my sex life is vanilla as fuck.
But it's also no secret that I love it like that.
Why try to fix was isn't broken?

Probably for the same reason people add nuts or sprinkles or hot fudge to their (unbroken) ice cream, I suppose. I'm not saying you should, of course, if you're satisfied with the current quantity of nuts. And frankly, the sprinkles worry me, too.

 

[djrip]

Probably for the same reason people add nuts or sprinkles or hot fudge to their (unbroken) ice cream, I suppose. I'm not saying you should, of course, if you're satisfied with the current quantity of nuts. And frankly, the sprinkles worry me, too.

How about clotted cream?

 

[AchtungNight]

How about clotted cream?

No thanks. Strawberries, pineapple, peppers, and cinnamon however…

The Princess Bride fanfic I quoted came from a woman btw. I may be misquoting it. It’s been a long time since I read it. I just know that it was great.

 

[Bamagan]

How about clotted cream?

Putting clotted or whipped creams on iced cream seems like it might be overdoing the cream love, but I'm not opposed. And to be fair, I like to dip french fries in mashed potatoes, so

 

[djrip]

No thanks. Strawberries, pineapple, peppers, and cinnamon however…

The Princess Bride fanfic I quoted came from a woman btw. I may be misquoting it. It’s been a long time since I read it. I just know that it was great.

Peppers! I'm intrigued.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Probably for the same reason people add nuts or sprinkles or hot fudge to their (unbroken) ice cream, I suppose. I'm not saying you should, of course, if you're satisfied with the current quantity of nuts. And frankly, the sprinkles worry me, too.

I have the exact number of nuts I'm comfortable with, thank you kindly.

 

[AchtungNight]

I have the exact number of nuts I'm comfortable with, thank you kindly.

I don’t have that number yet. I’m still working the angles.

 

[mirafrida]

In my mind, there's a clear difference between "don't really know each other that well yet, but there does seem genuine potential for it to go somewhere" vs. "no strings one-night-stand." The former is interesting, the second not so much. But that isn't the same as 'demi' as defined.

 

[TadOverdon]

No.

 

[XerXesXu]

I wouldn't consider whether I consider myself to be such unless I saw the word for the first time and had to Google it. The definition seems self-contradictory and makes no sense to me. I couldn't get an erection to have sex with someone I didn't like, but I'm male, so would have had to know them for ~30 seconds or more. Women can fake it. Is it a female thing?

 

[Altissimus]

Probably for the same reason people add nuts or sprinkles or hot fudge to their (unbroken) ice cream, I suppose. I'm not saying you should, of course, if you're satisfied with the current quantity of nuts. And frankly, the sprinkles worry me, too.

Not as much as the hot fudge worries me.

 

[elizaloo]

Made up term or not, I guess I am?

Hubs and I have had this convo many times - I'm all about emotional commitment (and I wouldn't define that as 'love' particularly) as part of why I find someone sexually attractive...other than the occasional "OMG did you SEE that guy? He's SO HOT!" teenage response when I'm with female friends.

Married two out of three of my sex partners, and the third doesn't count. Yet I write about promiscuous women - maybe I need therapy? Or more sex partners.....

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Personally I feel I fall about two thirds of the way toward emotional connection preference. I am attracted to attractive people I don't know. I enjoy porn. I could see myself enjoying a one night stand. But I'd most likely prefer that one night stand continue on as a relationship, and I haven't acted on sex with anyone I haven't had an emotional connection with IRL.

So you could maybe be... Semi-Demi-Sexual?