Do you have any limits in your play?

[Marquis]

(although I see and appreciate the distinction you're making between a safeword and a codeword)

You do?

 

[Deadly Guardian]

I feel lucky then I know what my slave wants and desires we talked extensively on that. Her safe word is burned to memory. I choose not to gag her out of an extremely unpleasant event with gags. It is now one of her hard limits. I respect that. She knows I will push her to the very edge of pain and send her limits crashing to the floor each time. I know and she knows that is all that matters

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I choose not to gag her out of an extremely unpleasant event with gags.

Interesting, and although i agree your reasoning safe, sound and thoughtful; mine is selfish.

i simply prefer to hear my partner scream.

 

[Caitlynne]

Interesting, and although i agree your reasoning safe, sound and thoughtful; mine is selfish.

i simply prefer to hear my partner scream.

You're such a sweet talker!

 

[snowy ciara]

Appologies for this being a bit of a one liner, but i'm feeling lazy this afternoon. I have two questions though

1. Do you have any limits in your play,(play being a very generic word I know) and if so, what are they?

2. What fantasy session/situation have you imagined but haven't been able to create or fulfill yet.

Thanks

Max

Yes, no knives, no permament marks (which would be negotiable with the right person), no blood, (again negotiable) and then the Big Three... No scat, kids or animals.

Any of them... That is, I have pretty much no experience whatsoever, but I'm getting closer to changing that.

 

[TaintedB]

You do?

I sometimes can't tell when you're being serious or not, so I'll do what I always do in that situation: answer straightly.

I might have been assuming that Quint was making this distinction, but it is a distinction to me. I don't like using either one, but I think a codeword ceeds more power than a safeword. The way I've seen other people using "codewords" is that they are just to clue the dominant into the fact that there's some distress going on, something he might want to take into consideration in case he's unaware of it. Unlike a safeword, a codword doesn't come with the assumption that all action will stop as soon as you utter the word or do the coded action. The decision to stop is still the dominant's, but he has agreed to pay attention when the word is spoken and take it into consideration. There is still power being given up by the dominant in that situation, however small, as he's agreed to this concession before they scene.

In a way, I see the effect of codewords as similar to that of stating limits before you scene with somebody--kind of deflates the power dynamic, at least for me. The only way I could get an erotic charge out of such a situation would be to strongly keep in mind (maybe with the dominant's help via a mindgame) that no matter what two people have agreed to beforehand, once someone is tied up they're pretty much at the other person's mercy, and, safeword or no, anything could happen, particularly if they don't know their partner well and what he or she is really like. Realistically speaking, if someone is psychopathic or "utterly selfish," a safeword is as much likely to stop them as any other cultural rule that most of us bow to but that sociopaths tend to ignore.

That's another reason why I don't like safewords: they're not these infallible things that you could put your trust in, like, say, a magical word that immediately makes the ropes or chains dissolve and puts a loaded gun in your hand. People assume they're dealing with "safe" dominants and most of the time you are, but occasionally, especially if you do a lot of casual play or don't take considerable time to get to know the other person before you play, you may someday wind up with someone who ignores all your negotiations, rules, limits, and safewords. There are other ways to insure your safety that are a little more reliable, but even these aren't infalible, given a submissive's desire to please her partner, especially someone brand new to her, sexy, and charming. (You can't show me your driver's licence because you forgot and left it the pocket of the pants you spilled coffee on just before coming to meet me? Yeah, I know what you mean! I do that all the time, too. ... Hey, this isn't the address you told me in email we'd be going to. Oh, I see, your rich friend loaned you the place for your weekend date, well that's sure nice of them. It's a pretty cool place! ... I understand that you want me vulnerable and naked all the time but did you really have to lock up all my clothes and purse in that chest? I mean, what if I want to call someone? Yeah, I guess I can use the phones here, but I still don't see why you had to take the battery of of my cellphone. ... Yeah, Ok, I can see that. )

 

[AngelicAssassin]

You're such a sweet talker!

As long as it doesn't cause cancer in lab mice, i'm all for it.

 

[babiesmiles]

Yes, no knives, no permament marks (which would be negotiable with the right person), no blood, (again negotiable) and then the Big Three... No scat, kids or animals.

I was going to post something similar but snowy's post was efficient and concise , besides my limits about permanent marks are as well highly negotiable with the right person .

 

[Marquis]

I sometimes can't tell when you're being serious or not, so I'll do what I always do in that situation: answer straightly.

I might have been assuming that Quint was making this distinction, but it is a distinction to me. I don't like using either one, but I think a codeword ceeds more power than a safeword. The way I've seen other people using "codewords" is that they are just to clue the dominant into the fact that there's some distress going on, something he might want to take into consideration in case he's unaware of it. Unlike a safeword, a codword doesn't come with the assumption that all action will stop as soon as you utter the word or do the coded action. The decision to stop is still the dominant's, but he has agreed to pay attention when the word is spoken and take it into consideration. There is still power being given up by the dominant in that situation, however small, as he's agreed to this concession before they scene.

In a way, I see the effect of codewords as similar to that of stating limits before you scene with somebody--kind of deflates the power dynamic, at least for me. The only way I could get an erotic charge out of such a situation would be to strongly keep in mind (maybe with the dominant's help via a mindgame) that no matter what two people have agreed to beforehand, once someone is tied up they're pretty much at the other person's mercy, and, safeword or no, anything could happen, particularly if they don't know their partner well and what he or she is really like. Realistically speaking, if someone is psychopathic or "utterly selfish," a safeword is as much likely to stop them as any other cultural rule that most of us bow to but that sociopaths tend to ignore.

That's another reason why I don't like safewords: they're not these infallible things that you could put your trust in, like, say, a magical word that immediately makes the ropes or chains dissolve and puts a loaded gun in your hand. People assume they're dealing with "safe" dominants and most of the time you are, but occasionally, especially if you do a lot of casual play or don't take considerable time to get to know the other person before you play, you may someday wind up with someone who ignores all your negotiations, rules, limits, and safewords. There are other ways to insure your safety that are a little more reliable, but even these aren't infalible, given a submissive's desire to please her partner, especially someone brand new to her, sexy, and charming. (You can't show me your driver's licence because you forgot and left it the pocket of the pants you spilled coffee on just before coming to meet me? Yeah, I know what you mean! I do that all the time, too. ... Hey, this isn't the address you told me in email we'd be going to. Oh, I see, your rich friend loaned you the place for your weekend date, well that's sure nice of them. It's a pretty cool place! ... I understand that you want me vulnerable and naked all the time but did you really have to lock up all my clothes and purse in that chest? I mean, what if I want to call someone? Yeah, I guess I can use the phones here, but I still don't see why you had to take the battery of of my cellphone. ... Yeah, Ok, I can see that. )

Oh tainted. You're like a dream and a nightmare all rolled into one.

 

[FuckDoll]

Instinctively I would reiterate the previously mentioned 'limits of play.' However, I have in the past done things, or been subject to things, that before doing them I never thought I would do, let alone enjoy. I was 'hesitant' every step of the way. Pushing my limits, sometimes even smashing them all to hell, is a turn on in itself. Putting my limits in somebody else's hands and saying, (literally or figuratively), "Do what You will," is even better.

I suppose I could say a hard and fast limit would be anything that could see me in court/jail.

 

[graceanne]

I like Snowy's answer. 'The big three' goes for me, too. Plus anything that's gonna clue my mom or sister into what's going on. So no marks where they can be seen, and nothing that'll get me in the hospital. Unfortunately, that includes anal sex.

 

[cellis]

I found that the more I got to know my previous Dom, the fewer limits we both had. However, as I meet and get to know new Doms, I am finding that the old limits return.

I think it must be a level of trust that has yet to be developed and while I am looking forward to growth and having my limits pushed, i am relunctant to let someone I just met start poking holes in my body or do other things that might have been okay with Himself.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

One serious limit

Verbal humiliation.

Bad past.

 

[Aeroil]

Magnets

 

[Killishandra]

We Know What You're Doing

Magnets

*Stops this hijack in it's tracks*

 

[Killishandra]

This forum question is hard for me to answer, since my real-life experiences with BDSM are really, really scarce. But I can say what I think my soft and hard limits currently are.

Soft limits would include needleplay, electricplay, ownership tattoos (this is a soft limit, as I am looking forward to one once I am sure I am owned for life,) scat (I'd reeeally hate this, but could imagine being forced into it and unable to do anything about it, which would suck,) and any type of dangerous play like breathplay (unless I know that the person really knows what they are doing, then I'd be up for trying it. I just don't want to end up with a broken trachea.)

Hard limits include death, forced sexual behavior with partners who have not been VERY recently tested (and I need to see a clean bill of health, or know that my Dom has seen one,) animals, and young children. Yeah, the reason I say "young" children is because... Well, 16 is still considered a "child" but seriously, most of us were having sex at 16. I'm only 22 and I'm bisexual, so I would totally have sex with a hot 16 year old girl if my Dom facilitated it. hehe. It would be a good learning experience for her... I would teach her how to give the best blow jobs and if she did well on my Dom I would reward her appropriately. *evil grin* (I wouldn't want to have sex with a boy, but that's more because I want my Dom to be the only male I have sex with, not because I think 16 year old boys shouldn't be having sex.)

As for fantasies... that list would be very long. As well as being incomplete, since I think up a new fantasy almost every day. Today it seems to be my Dom forcing me to instruct innocent 16-yr old virgins in the honorable way of fellatio.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Appologies for this being a bit of a one liner, but i'm feeling lazy this afternoon. I have two questions though

1. Do you have any limits in your play,(play being a very generic word I know) and if so, what are they?

2. What fantasy session/situation have you imagined but haven't been able to create or fulfill yet.

First answer: NO tickling..I hate it..hard limit. (Goes without saying for beastiality, child sex, necrophilia)

Second answer: so far anything I could have possibly devised...I have done...both as a Top and a bottom.

 

[Aeroil]

*Stops this hijack in it's tracks*

lol, okay okay I'll make a serious post.
Overt Public humiliation, sexual contact with another male, scat, animals, non-contual people or children, permanant markings (negotiable with a long enough relationship).

Knives or blades, I do have a bit of a fascination with them, but I simply cannot see them as being a toy, by any means, in my opinion they are not. In theory I'd do it, but I would refuse not to untense myself, I'd be watching everything, I don't care who it is, I don't trust weapons around my person.

 

[graceanne]

*sigh* Ok, didn't think of these till I read them, but they are limits. No public humiliation, and no tickling. I don't care, people who tickle me get kicked. Oh, and no sex with anyone but K.

 

[Aeroil]

*sigh* Ok, didn't think of these till I read them, but they are limits. No public humiliation, and no tickling. I don't care, people who tickle me get kicked. Oh, and no sex with anyone but K.

*resists urge to tickle Grace and run*

 

[graceanne]

*resists urge to tickle Grace and run*

I'm only ticklish on my feet. If you go down there, expect to be kicked HARD.

 

[Quint]

You do?

*sigh* Marquis, write this 50 times, and I want to be able to read it:

I will not annoy B with silly emoticons.​

*taps her foot*

 

[TaintedB]

Oh tainted. You're like a dream and a nightmare all rolled into one.

For a second, I thought you wrote, "Oy, tainted," lol. I just have an active imagination I think--and it saws both ways.

On another topic, are you aware that Aeoril and I were really pulling our punches in that kooky art thread you unsubscribed from? Those Japanese get so extreme, especially when it comes to sexual blood, guts, and gore. I'm kind of glad we haven't gone there--some of those pics make me angry.

 

[TaintedB]

*sigh* Marquis, write this 50 times, and I want to be able to read it:

I will not annoy B with silly emoticons.​

*taps her foot*

I don't understand. I use stupid emoticons all the time in my posts. Hmmm... Maybe that was your point.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I suppose I could say a hard and fast limit would be anything that could see me in court/jail.

That would imply a locus parameter as well. If i'm not mistaken, your current location allows sodomy, but take care if you travel to one of the remaining 20% of the states in the US, or you'll hit a hard limit.