Do you talk during sex, I mean really TALK?

[SlaveMasterUK]

Does "Whose pussy is this?" count?

What about "is this my clitoris?"

I've never really talked during sex or foreplay and I've never had a partner who's shown any interest in doing so either. To be honest I don't like the sound of my own voice, I tend to be a pretty quiet partner the whole time.

I'm always turned on by my partner voicing her approval but to me some quiet, self-stiffled moans and gasps are so much more sweet and sexy than a full-blast scream of extacy or a corny dirty line.

On occasions when I've tried talking dirty during sex it's resulted in fits of laughter, although to me being able to break off intercourse into a hysterical fit with a partner really proves how close we are at that time.

I notice nobody here has mentioned phone-sex? Once I get into it I come out with some really odd things. Strangely my phone-sex conversations always have a plot, lol! It was something a phone-sex partner said that made my mind up to start working on erotic stories again ;-)

ax

 

[English Lady]

off on a tangent (nothing new there then) but what is wrong with a 10 minute quickie? sometimes it can be fan-blody-tastic! sometimes you just need a quick release,or is that just me? I find a good,quick fuck is incredible, but then a good fuck of any length is great. I don't think how long you do it for is of any consequence,as long as both parties are satisfied then the job is a good'un!


never having had phone sex I can't comment on that but i do know i use some weird lines in cyber sex but then i guess thats having to describe things in just words, no body language or touch or even intonation of voice.


Also laughing during sex can be a good thing, it just shoews how relaxed you are with your partner,and lets face it, sometimes all you can do is laugh!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

off on a tangent (nothing new there then) but what is wrong with a 10 minute quickie? sometimes it can be fan-blody-tastic! sometimes you just need a quick release,or is that just me? I find a good,quick fuck is incredible, but then a good fuck of any length is great. I don't think how long you do it for is of any consequence,as long as both parties are satisfied then the job is a good'un!


never having had phone sex I can't comment on that but i do know i use some weird lines in cyber sex but then i guess thats having to describe things in just words, no body language or touch or even intonation of voice.


Also laughing during sex can be a good thing, it just shoews how relaxed you are with your partner,and lets face it, sometimes all you can do is laugh!

I don't get this phone sex thing - once you get the phone inside your pussy, how are you gonna hear what the guy is saying???

I agree with English Lady. Laughing is a very nice part of sex. Sex is a game. It's suppoised to be fun. It's supposed to make you feel dead tired but very, very alive afterwards - just like when you see a comedy and get a REALLY good laugh!

My hubby and me like to play games in bed, wrestle, tickle each other, remind each other of funny things we have experienced together, or some funny fantasy he or I have.
Maybe that has something to do with the fact that our "quickies" last for 1 hour...

Which is another good point by our dear EL - sometimes you want long, sensual, passionate, earthshaking love making. Other times you just want a quick release, a fast, hard fuck to get rid of the (sexual?) tension you're carrying around. And afterwards, you just brush off your clothes and go back to the front of the bus...

 

[fiery_jack]

off on a tangent (nothing new there then) but what is wrong with a 10 minute quickie? sometimes it can be fan-blody-tastic! sometimes you just need a quick release,or is that just me?

There's nothing wrong with a quickie!

Can't say much talking goes on in those moments, just grunts, groans and the odd painful yelp

 

[Just-Legal]

At first, with my guy, we'd talk. But that was more to give him confidence that he was doing things right (he was a virgin).

Now its more the usual "oh baby" stuff, but occasionally we do the dirty talk thing, and MAN is he good at that!

 

[English Lady]

svenskaflicka...good point about the phone sex thing*LOL* i totally agree*L*


Yes laughing is always a good thing, and sex doesn't always have to be serious does it? I hope not because if it is i am doing it wrong............


fiery jack..you're right there is NOTHING wrong with a quickie but as you say its not the time for an in depth conversation though*L*

 

[BigTexan]

off on a tangent (nothing new there then) but what is wrong with a 10 minute quickie?

I didn't say there was anything wrong with a quickie. I said I couldn't do it. I simply am not aroused that quickly.

All this talk has made me wonder up a new question. What do you consider foreplay?

Foreplay to me is snuggling together, talking about our day, touching each other, listening to each other, and just plain loving each other without the sex. Foreplay, by my definition, does not always lead to sex, although it should unless there is some kind of interruption.

Foreplay, to me, is my wife and I getting close and enjoying each other. Sex is actual sexual stimulation whether through intercourse or some other form of direct stimulation.

BigTexan

 

[English Lady]

Big texan I think i agree with your definition, foreplay is all those things. Sometimes foreplay can go on all day, a look here, a bottom pinch there, a squeeze of a hand a flash of thigh.....then when you get some time alone you do the sex thing! Sex when you are that ready for it is amazing!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

In Tantric sex, foreplay DOES take a whole day. You prepare the room where you will have sex, make sure the bed linen are clean and fresh, put flowers, incense and lit candles in there, choose some soft music to get yourself and your lover in the mood, take a bath together, eat some fruit and drink something, then lay down and start caressing, relaxing...

I don't know if talking is such a big part of tantrism, but I think that what bigtexan said about getting close to each other through talking and sharing the day's events would be a great thing to do in the bathtub, to really get close and relaxed.

Sex begins in the brain.

 

[NoJo]

I love to talk, or rather converse, as part of the build-up to actually "doing it". But I find that I get quieter and quieter the more turned on I get. I like it a lot when women talk to me during sex, but I sometimes get the feeling that I'm not reciprocating enough -- like I'm being "serviced". I even get a slight twinge of irritation when, I'm about about to come, and I'm asked -- "Does that feel good?" -- Of course it fucking feels good! Why do you need to ask? So, for me, talking is redundant -- the bodies do the speaking, the smiles, exclamations and shudders are enough to each other know how we feel.

Exception: Phone sex -- which I have experienced only once (with a very articulate Lit. Author!) and REALLY liked. Here, of course, the WHOLE THING is talking, and it can really get you off Especially with someone who knows how to use language.

Some of those stories you soetimes find on Lit. that are second-person continuous present are like phone sex.

Just two minutes ago I watched an old Seinfeld repeat, where this girl starts talking dirty to Jerry: Jerry, trying to reciprocate, inadvertently comes out with a remark about the girls panties, "which your Mother layed out for you", and the girl storms out of the apartment. The dangers of talking during sex...

 

[Diane Marie]

And afterwards, you just brush off your clothes and go back to the front of the bus...

Now you just have to write the story Svenskaflicka. Details please!!

 

[Guest]

many words...

A proverb that I try to live by... I said TRY.. is "Where there are many words transgression is unavoidable".

The one time I tried really talking during sex, not foreplay, I gave my husband a complex... I'm still reassuring him

Other than directions, and those are kept as brief as possible, our sex is pretty wordless... Climaxes are surrounded by sighs and moans... but we always tell each other we love each other while we "cool down" or get ready for round two.

 

[Octavian]

Do you really talk when….?

According to an earlier thread some people talk during masturbation and now we know that a number of posters here talk during the act itself and/or during foreplay.

Well, I have a confession to make. My wife and I sometimes talk when we’re NOT having sex!

She might say something like, “Did you have a good day at the office, Dear?” That really starts me off because I will reply, “Yes I did, thank you and how about your day?”
Sometimes, if she is particularly frisky she will ask me what I want for tea.
But she can also get me really going, especially if my soccer team has lost to their rivals. She actually says, “Never mind. It’s only a game.”
Why don't women understand? My whole weekend is ruined and IT'S ONLY A GAME!

But to be fair, she did ask me once to put it in deeper. We were in the garden at the time and I was planting a rhododendron.

____________________________________________________
I’m terrifically popular. If I had any friends you could ask them.

 

[BigTexan]

Re: many words...

A proverb that I try to live by... I said TRY.. is "Where there are many words transgression is unavoidable".

I really hope that isn't true. I can't say that my wife and I don't have arguments. Hell, we sometimes really go after each other's throats. But almost universally, this happens because we don't talk enough and rely instead on non-verbal ques.

Non-verbal ques are important to communication, but without talking they can be very misleading. I've learned that when someone slams a door, it is sometimes because the damn thing didn't stay shut the first time and not always because they are mad at their spouse.

The times that my wife and I have the best relationship, including sex, is when we talk the most. If our relationship is in the dumps all that has ever been required to restore it was both of us taking a deep breath and talking to the other. Pretty soon we discover that neither was mad at the other, we were just reacting to the other being mad at us for some unknown reason. Then we laugh and cuddle and things are good again.

So, BK, your rule may be right for you. But I know it doesn't apply to everyone. It certainly doesn't apply to my wife and I. I will admit that choosing your words carefully is very important, not just when you are talking to someone you don't know very well, but whenever you are talking period.

If in the middle of sex, I suddenly exclaimed "Damn bitch! Your cunt stinks!" I don't think my wife would be very happy about it. But with a little thought and consideration I can turn that into. "Wanna go take a bath together? I'll wash yours if you wash mine." And that, well that leads to a whole new experience.

So I guess what I'm rambling on and trying to say is this: It doesn't matter how much you talk, as much as how much you think before you talk.

BigTexan

BigTexan

 

[BatsandGlamour]

erotic talk

I recently write a how-to story about how to talk dirty to your lover, sort of a companion piece to "How to eat pussy like a champ" and "Blowjobs for dummies."

I still maintain that there's very little that is sexier to hear than good old, "Oh God," or "Oh my God, that feels soooo good."

Sure, "fuck me like a ten dollar whore" is a nice diversion, but TOO much talk can spoil a good thing, no?

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

If our relationship is in the dumps all that has ever been required to restore it was both of us taking a deep breath and talking to the other. Pretty soon we discover that neither was mad at the other, we were just reacting to the other being mad at us for some unknown reason. Then we laugh and cuddle and things are good again.

And in my experience the sex that follows has been fantastic, perhaps psychologically each lover trying to show their love to the other, or opening up further to the tenderness. Lovemaking becomes so much more tender when there are still tears in our eyes.

that's sounding like a poem now... time to get the notepad out again...

ax

 

[BatsandGlamour]

Deep...very deep. I still like, "Fuck me like a ten dollar whore," but maybe that's just me Anyway, I have tears in my eyes after sex too -- that it's over!

 

[English Lady]

I have to agree with big texan, it is all about communication. I have a problem with communicating my hurt or upsets to others, even when it has nothing to do with them. I keep it all buried deep down and try not to show it. The problem then is that i do show it, i become snappy and distant and when i am asked if i am alriht i snap back

"I'm fine"

It can take days, sometimes weeks for me to let go off what was upsetting me. I am trying now to be more communicative. It saves blowing up in a torrent of emotion in the end. communication,especially verbal communication is essential to all parts of a relationship as well as sex.

oh and octavian..what a revelation! And i must agree it is not just a game, it is not even a matter of life or death. its FAR more important than that!
My husband is an evertonian....so he's not a footie fan at all..

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: many words...

It doesn't matter how much you talk, as much as how much you think before you talk.

BT-

The reason that that proverb is one that has relevence for my life is that I am very expressive. I have to remind myself to stop and think about how my expressions will effect the people around me. In the case of talking during sex, while I may want to it is a hindrance for my husband, so I abstain.

The corollary is certainly true... not talking enough will compound transgressions. Unresolved conflict precludes any amorous adventuring in our home.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"If some people knew what some people are saying about some people, some people wouldn't say so much about some people."

 

[TheEarl]

My husband is an evertonian....so he's not a footie fan at all

rofl

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: Re: many words...

I have to remind myself to stop and think about how my expressions will effect the people around me.

Pretty, pretty please - make that a trend!



Nice to have you back, B.

 

[English Lady]

* @TheEarl* I'm glad to see someone got my joke......*L*

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Once upon a time, when I was still haveing sex with a partner, the words most commonly used during sex were:

Yes, there, more please, and switch.

At the word 'switch' we would both move into a new postion.

To me, sex just isn't sex if you do it only one way til done.

 

[BatsandGlamour]

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