Does this sound crazy to you?
- Thread starter MissTaken
- Start date
cellis
Saucy
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2001
- Posts
- 4,186
I remeber when you started this thread, MissT and I remember thinking that I needed to take some time to think about this issue....
Because of some personal issues with Himself I have spent most of the last four months with little play time...
I can honestly say... I am not much good anymore without D/s in my life... I am not much good without that S/M in my life... and I really have a hard time without the B/D as well...
I was so unhappy and needy... It has made me realize that loved or not, I need my particular brand of perversion....
Maybe I could have gone back to just the kinky sex with a little bondage thrown in if I had not had Himself in my life... but not anymore... it is as much a part of me as anything else... It is who I am...
Because of some personal issues with Himself I have spent most of the last four months with little play time...
I can honestly say... I am not much good anymore without D/s in my life... I am not much good without that S/M in my life... and I really have a hard time without the B/D as well...
I was so unhappy and needy... It has made me realize that loved or not, I need my particular brand of perversion....
Maybe I could have gone back to just the kinky sex with a little bondage thrown in if I had not had Himself in my life... but not anymore... it is as much a part of me as anything else... It is who I am...
Great Thread Mis.T, this same sentiment is mirrored on some of the other boards and its nice to see it has its own thread.
I'm kinda happy I saw it when I did. I've recently been entertaining thoughts that I was an accidental poser - because I had come to the decision that I would be willing to go nilla for my man if he asked. I thought maybe it made me less hard core and that that was a bad thing.
So yes, while it may make me a little more fluffy bunny, I'm glad to see Im not the only one. I respect the people who do think d/s are necessary to life but just realize that I'm not one of them. I was previously in denial about the situation because I didn't want to feel like I'd been faking. Now I realize that its just a matter of ranking - whether I put the romantic aspect over the kink aspect or vica versa - its helped me come to terms with my feelings and hopefully will help He and I move more closely together.
Thanks
~
B
I'm kinda happy I saw it when I did. I've recently been entertaining thoughts that I was an accidental poser - because I had come to the decision that I would be willing to go nilla for my man if he asked. I thought maybe it made me less hard core and that that was a bad thing.
So yes, while it may make me a little more fluffy bunny, I'm glad to see Im not the only one. I respect the people who do think d/s are necessary to life but just realize that I'm not one of them. I was previously in denial about the situation because I didn't want to feel like I'd been faking. Now I realize that its just a matter of ranking - whether I put the romantic aspect over the kink aspect or vica versa - its helped me come to terms with my feelings and hopefully will help He and I move more closely together.
Thanks
~
B
TheWanderer
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2002
- Posts
- 82
My situation is a bit unusual. I live with my ex-g/f who has discovered her strong desire to be a sub. And in the meantime, I'm discovering how much I enjoy taking control in day-to-day situations.
I'm not pursuing a relationship (nor will I until after the first of the year, I need downtime), but when I find someone worth my time, my intent is to approach with the same Dominant attitude I'm learning to appreciate in my life.
After a very rough year, I'm finding things in my life are improving on a regular basis, mostly due to my discoveries into who I truly am. And exercising that control, even in small things, just feels more natural.
Unfortunately, I've reached what I call 'information overload.' If I read a manual for a while, I can only go so far before it doesn't make sense because there's been no application of the knowledge, no frame of reference. And while we explored a little D/s-style roleplay in my last relationship, there wasn't the levels of trust and respect needed for true D/s.
So I'm fairly sure this is what I want, but it's hard to just know for sure without practical experience...
...just my 2¢
I'm not pursuing a relationship (nor will I until after the first of the year, I need downtime), but when I find someone worth my time, my intent is to approach with the same Dominant attitude I'm learning to appreciate in my life.
After a very rough year, I'm finding things in my life are improving on a regular basis, mostly due to my discoveries into who I truly am. And exercising that control, even in small things, just feels more natural.
Unfortunately, I've reached what I call 'information overload.' If I read a manual for a while, I can only go so far before it doesn't make sense because there's been no application of the knowledge, no frame of reference. And while we explored a little D/s-style roleplay in my last relationship, there wasn't the levels of trust and respect needed for true D/s.
So I'm fairly sure this is what I want, but it's hard to just know for sure without practical experience...
...just my 2¢
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
Thank yoiu, cellis
I am flattered to think that a thread, a thought and a feeling of mine made you think and consider your perspective.
As for me, to update,
I need a man who is dominant. (Lower case D)
There are men who are dominant and may never venture into the Alphabet soup that we call BDSM.
I need a man who cares for me, is attentive and is appreciative.
I also need a man who is not so independent that he needs me back, as well.
The kink is the kink and has it's place, for me.
Bijoux? Does this make me "fluffy" or less submissive? Absolutely not! I am still submissive in my interaction. I am still ME.
You are you and whatever and however you chose to live your life in happiness is your success. No one should look down their nose at "fluffiness"
Wanderer? Great point! There are times that I tire of the learning, sharing and constant exploration of BDSM. "Information overload" is a great way to put it. It doesn't change who we are or "slow progress"
We are who we are and it is okay!
I am flattered to think that a thread, a thought and a feeling of mine made you think and consider your perspective.
As for me, to update,
I need a man who is dominant. (Lower case D)
There are men who are dominant and may never venture into the Alphabet soup that we call BDSM.
I need a man who cares for me, is attentive and is appreciative.
I also need a man who is not so independent that he needs me back, as well.
The kink is the kink and has it's place, for me.
Bijoux? Does this make me "fluffy" or less submissive? Absolutely not! I am still submissive in my interaction. I am still ME.
You are you and whatever and however you chose to live your life in happiness is your success. No one should look down their nose at "fluffiness"
Wanderer? Great point! There are times that I tire of the learning, sharing and constant exploration of BDSM. "Information overload" is a great way to put it. It doesn't change who we are or "slow progress"
We are who we are and it is okay!
Desdemona
Ellie Mae's evil auntie
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2001
- Posts
- 6,584
It doesn't matter if the progress is slow or halted.
The important thing is to enjoy the journey. I'm begining to understand that now. These things can't be rushed. Sometimes we need downtime to process what we've learned.
Change happens at its own pace.
Relationships develop at their own pace.
Our learning and growth with regards to BDSM happens at its own pace.
If you skip or rush those steps, you miss the treasure you can find in the beauty of the journey. You miss understanding yourself and your needs. Shadowsdream and Art each told me that once and I didn't truly understand it. I'm getting it now. I'm learning it slowly, in real time, from someone very wise.
The important thing is to enjoy the journey. I'm begining to understand that now. These things can't be rushed. Sometimes we need downtime to process what we've learned.
Change happens at its own pace.
Relationships develop at their own pace.
Our learning and growth with regards to BDSM happens at its own pace.
If you skip or rush those steps, you miss the treasure you can find in the beauty of the journey. You miss understanding yourself and your needs. Shadowsdream and Art each told me that once and I didn't truly understand it. I'm getting it now. I'm learning it slowly, in real time, from someone very wise.
