4 days and the OP still has yet to reply. I hope all is well. When you do see this, Wannabe, read with a smart mind and not a vulnerable one. If your Dom is ignoring you, maybe you did fuck up. Whatever it may be, now, since it's been a few days, hopefully everything is fine. If not, then you need to get your wits about you, get your shit straight, what you want in the relationship and if it's all worth it. We don't know, because we're not you. We're merely just playing off the little information you've given us.
Dom mad...how to get him back?
- Thread starter Wannabe2012
- Start date
Wannabe2012
Virgin
- Joined
- May 8, 2012
- Posts
- 19
It's been pointed out that I've been lax in updating my OP. I'm new and still learning. I removed myself from the situation and I am in a much better place now. Some will disagree but I didn't deserve the treatment I got and I'm glad it's behind me and I learned something from it. Thanks for taking the time to post any advice.
Lit_Wetawd
Experienced
- Joined
- May 17, 2012
- Posts
- 56
Sounds like you awe wetawded and suck at this. You should go back to vanilla and stop bothewing people.
Wannabe-
Sounds like you made a good decision. I didn't buy what other people were saying, that he was doing this as punishment for your melting down, that doesn't sound like an experienced dominant, that sounded like an immature asshole wannabe IMO. A dominant who can't handle a sub who has a meltdown, which can happen even to experienced ones, let alone inexperienced ones, doesn't deserve to have one IMO and the silent treatment for a sub who has had a break is like the parent who has a child who has gone hysterical who walks away and says "I am done with you". A good dominant IMO would help you work through what happened and guide you,not leave you alone like he did. That is like a dominant after an intense scene where a sub goes into a post scene meltdown ignores them and doesn't do proper aftercare to bring them down. Even if you were totally in the wrong, even if you had been bratty or a SAM or topping from the bottom, he should have corrected that, not acted like a 2 year old.
Sounds like you made a good decision. I didn't buy what other people were saying, that he was doing this as punishment for your melting down, that doesn't sound like an experienced dominant, that sounded like an immature asshole wannabe IMO. A dominant who can't handle a sub who has a meltdown, which can happen even to experienced ones, let alone inexperienced ones, doesn't deserve to have one IMO and the silent treatment for a sub who has had a break is like the parent who has a child who has gone hysterical who walks away and says "I am done with you". A good dominant IMO would help you work through what happened and guide you,not leave you alone like he did. That is like a dominant after an intense scene where a sub goes into a post scene meltdown ignores them and doesn't do proper aftercare to bring them down. Even if you were totally in the wrong, even if you had been bratty or a SAM or topping from the bottom, he should have corrected that, not acted like a 2 year old.
samanthaswitch
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2011
- Posts
- 299
It sounds like the right decision. Maybe you overreacted, maybe he did (without knowing any of the details its hard to say probably both of you could have handled things better thats the way life usually is). I would suggest as others have you take some time to consider what happened and evaluate it before returning or seeking a new dom. If you are unsure and have doubts plunging back in won't help matters you want to take the time to be sure what you want before acting. I hope htings go well for you whatever you choose.
AmberRoseThompson
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2011
- Posts
- 28
meltdown
I'd be suspicious of any dom who couldn't handle a sub's meltdown. Doesn't sound like the dom knows what they are doing.
I'd be suspicious of any dom who couldn't handle a sub's meltdown. Doesn't sound like the dom knows what they are doing.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Ah. A lot of BDSM is about treating people in ways they don't deserve-- but want.
He probably thought he was "breaking" you, and "helping you become truly submissive." He might have his head up his ass, or he might have thought that you and he were on the same page in this. "Submissive" means far too many things to far too many random people these days. Desiring to be done unto, to be controlled under certain conditions, to feel pampered and loved-- that's not necessarily submission.
It's incredibly important to figure out exactly what it is that you want, and communicate it to your prospective partner. You have to take that responsibility.
sweepthefloor
see jane nurse
- Joined
- May 25, 2010
- Posts
- 11,845
Having a meltdown is great! I miss it. What I usually do afterwards is apologize and then pretend it never happened. I might go away for a while to give my friend or lover time to remember me as me—as opposed to the melt downer.
I might blush the next time I see the person but I won’t bring it up, unless they demand an explanation.
I might blush the next time I see the person but I won’t bring it up, unless they demand an explanation.
