Dom/me Self-Indulgence

[Quint]

Perhaps it's the young pampered thing in me talking, but I don't see self-indulgence as inherently negative. The richness and deep satisfaction that results from serving and being served is definitely a positive thing! It's heady to me; I can only imagine what it does to him.

I think it would be a waste of the time and energy a good session takes to NOT fully immerse yourself in the luxury of the moment. This isn't to say sloppiness is encouraged! That actually hinders the enjoyment for both parties, while self-control brings out the full potential of that indulgence. Of course, I'm a worshiper of selfishness, so my opinion leans that way.

 

[CarolineOh]

I'd just like to express my thanks to everyone who has contributed to this fascinating discussion. I feel I am learning a great deal about an ethical dominant mindset from reading it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

More

It occurred to me that the amount of self-indulgence that a Dom/me may have could be directly related to their dominant style as it relates to many of the Dom/me aarch types that have been around for years.

For example, as a Domme, you could resemble one of te airchtypes ( i.e. Amazon, Goddess, Nurse etc.) or any combination therein.

Each archtype has a level of self-indulgence that is expected by subs who crave that kind of dominant.

Ebony

 

[SexySusan]

<< swish swish swish >> ... looks up self-indulgence in dictionary ... seems to describe an addiction for enjoyment

Well it seems to me the people on this board are above-average aware of what they want, and they all put a lot of energy into getting it. How can that be a bad thing?

I know a lot of people that have a hard time "allowing" themselves to enjoy. Even the most natural things like food. I guess most girls know what I'm talking about ...

I think being able to enjoy is a wonderful thing. Doing nothing but enjoy will make it much much less rewarding, in an amazingly short amount of time, for me, at least. It's inflationary. And that is where the self-control comes in. For example: I love breakfast in bed, served by my boyfriend. I love it once or maybe twice a week. Rarety makes it special. I would rob myself of that pleasure if I made him serve me breakfast in bed every day.

Self-control is for my self-indulgence, in a way. Does that make sense at all?

 

[artful]

Opinion

<< swish swish swish >> ... looks up self-indulgence in dictionary ... seems to describe an addiction for enjoyment
I think the key word here is "ADDICTION". Self-indulgence is a gray area for me,...when does it slip from enjoyment to addiction? I think it is difficult for most of us to draw a concrete line and say THIS is self-indulgement, and THAT is not. I know it is for me.

It is that area I need to always subject to scrutiny, be aware of, make decisions, and control it. Self-indulgement, (to me), is something I think is harmful. On the other hand, I love to enjoy, sometimes it comes with sacrifice. Giving the last piece of chocolate to someone I care for is pure bliss.

 

[MzChrista]

Me, I bust it down to one rule. Dont believe your own bullshit. Be square with who you really are, but when you know you are talking shit, time out. Honest isnt just a word for subs. If you someone like Shadowsdream, who does all that serious DS, goddess bless you, I think thats cool as a rule. Me, I dont do that and if I tried Id be dishonest. So I do what I do and I got no problem, she does what she does, and gets all her propers. For her its not bullshit, for me it would be.
Well I know what Im talking about even if I cant put it down straight.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Me, I bust it down to one rule. Dont believe your own bullshit. Be square with who you really are, but when you know you are talking shit, time out. Honest isnt just a word for subs. If you someone like Shadowsdream, who does all that serious DS, goddess bless you, I think thats cool as a rule. Me, I dont do that and if I tried Id be dishonest. So I do what I do and I got no problem, she does what she does, and gets all her propers. For her its not bullshit, for me it would be.
Well I know what Im talking about even if I cant put it down straight.

I think you do just fine!

Eb

 

[MzChrista]

I think you do just fine!

Eb

Thanks Eb. Sometimes I get wrapped up in words and I cant tell if Im making sense or not.
Im a Girl of action what can I say.

 

[artful]

MzC and EB

Thanks Eb. Sometimes I get wrapped up in words and I cant tell if Im making sense or not.
Im a Girl of action what can I say.

I think you both do fine in expressing your opinions,...and I for one respect them,...that's what makes us individuals. Without individuality,
what a boring bunch of 'clones' we would all be.

I wouldn't want everyone to be the same. I truly try to read each post you guys make. There is a wealth of information contained in each of us. The remarks and opinions you make are as important as any one else's.

The unabashed honesty and forthrightness you both exhibit is a joy to read. In conclusion,...let me just say,..."Keep'um cummin'!"

 

[Shiver]

Thinking self indulgence has nothing to do with control but can be a very good sign of a lack of self control.

I agree. I also think a good Dom/me has to maintain a realistic perspective. I've said before, I think the biggest problems arise when both the Dom/me and sub start to think that every fantasy they have can happen in reality, and there are some things that just can't. That's "Sanity."

 

[Ebonyfire]

I agree. I also think a good Dom/me has to maintain a realistic perspective. I've said before, I think the biggest problems arise when both the Dom/me and sub start to think that every fantasy they have can happen in reality, and there are some things that just can't. That's "Sanity."

Sanity costs extra!

There may be a two for one sale soon.

I agree, that is why I have to laugh when some sub approaches me with his list. Like I am gonna go down his fantasy list one by one.

Ebony

 

[Shadowsdream]

MzChrista


(Me, I bust it down to one rule. Dont believe your own bullshit)

Believe Your own reality...not the reality others have of You...anyone that believes their own bullshit is believeing fantasy in My opinion.

and this Shadowsdream does NOT believe in the Goddess persona for a single minute...for Myself or any other Woman on earth.