Dom/mes and Submissives, Do you ever want Straight Nilla Sex??

[Mr Blonde]

Yes, I am a dominant and there are plenty of times when I just crave "regular" sex.

As others have said, however, I think there are "control" issues in every sexual situation. The main one, in my opinion, being initiating the encounter.

Averaging across all of my relationships and sexual partners, I think I have been the initiator 85% of the time. I enjoy initiating and obviously it is my first choice. Some women enjoy initiating on occasion and feel very feminine (and submissive) to "offer" themselves (see justina123's post). That would make another 10% of the time.

Then there is 5% of the time when I have been completely absorbed in my work or busy meeting a deadline. She has gone 2-3 days without much attention and at that point she initiates because she has needs. Even if I prefer sleep, I almost always try to cooperate because I value the relationship and her happiness.

Surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep a night will take the eagerness out of nearly everyone. This is the real world and I don't think it is "topping from the bottom" for a submissive to make her needs known to a distracted or reluctant partner.

 

[SexyChele]

Are there times that you just don't want controlled sex, Just down and dirty nilla sex. It doesn't have to be just sex. Erotic Nilla play. Where there is not the control issues. Just times of erotic pleasure.

Yup! Most certainly! While I like being controlled, and it does play into a submissive part of me, I also like being the initiator. I love the reaction I get when I walk up to him, wrap my arms hard around his neck, kiss him hard, then whisper in his ear, "Fuck me NOW!" **Brings shivers!**

I do have to admit that I also love the control factor while giving a blowjob. As he lies there, taking control of how much (or little) pleasure I will give him. Of course, this is a two way street, and he does the same for me.

Hey, it's all good, ya know? And the misconception seems to be that 'nilla sex is boring. Hell, sex is only boring if the parties involved make it so!