Dom Or Master

[Netzach]

It seems so, but what I'm thinking is that just because a "Master" theoretically could exercise power over aspects of a sub's life that a "Dom" could not, this shouldn't obligate him to.

Yes.

It's probably a lot LESS control than H thinks he should have. Tough tits. However, total abdication of the dynamic and he'll walk eventually - and frankly I did sign on because being able to toy with him appeals to me.

But, for me, the essence of slavery is the object status of the other person.

I'd say we were friendly, but periodically I need to remind everyone involved we're not friends or buddies. I have no inkling how the romantically entangled maintain the object status as primary, whatever floats your boat, but my concept of ownership goes out the window. I can't relegate someone who can play my heartstrings like a harp to property and object in all other capacities - my compartmentalization skills, while pretty good for a girl, aren't THAT good.

 

[RJMasters]

LOL, I do feel blessed most days. For us, although the companionship is present in some ways, it is not the deciding factor of our relationship. There are times he doesn't feel like bothering with sharing his time with me and thus expects me to perform my duties, fetch coffee, and basically not bother him at all in any way until he feels like being bothered. There is also the factor we both sought a M/s relationship first and foremost, so the companionship is reliant on that factor, not the other way around. We did get married, but that was not as a result so much of thinking marriage was the ideal as it was in making a lot of the legalities of my moving country quicker and less problematic. The marriage is still important to both of us, but once again, it comes second to the M/s dynamic.

As to taking care of his property, it is true he earns the money to pay the bills, but for the most part he sees it as my responsibility to take care of myself as part of his property and part of my role as property. He may indulge me with a massage from time to time, or tell me to put my feet up when I am ill, but not always and not predictably. If I need medical attention or anything else, he prefers I take care of it instead of bothering him. He sees it as my responsibility once again to take care of his property, not to be running to him every time I need to see a doctor or take care of something else to do with my well being. It seems strange to some but works for us as it makes sense in the way of thinking I do not have the right to damage or neglect something which he owns, in this case myself, but it is my place to serve him and respect and take care of his property.

Catalina

Thank you for sharing that Cat, I would nominate that for the sub thought of the day but i guess I don't get a vote in that.

I think your point is loud and clear. And I would agree in that first and foremost, ownership is what the relationship is founded upon. I tired to say that, but may not have made it clear enough. I was trying to say that though some levels of companionship does exist, you are not a companion serving as a slave, but rather you are a slave that has some levels of companionship in your relationship. I think I was only trying to point out that some M/s has very little of this, and some have more. If I overstated or misstated anything in regards to your relationship it was not meant to be negative or an intentional mischaracterization.

your second point is clearly understood as well in that a Master is not obilgated to run himself ragged in order to be a Master. I know exactly why you are making this point as there tends to be the idea that is attached more to the romonatic notion of M/s that a slave has this mindless blank stare on their face waiting to be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it every second of the day. Gawd what an absolute nightmare that would be. I think the phrase "high-maintance" and slave should never be used in the same sentence...lol well you know what I mean.

 

[JMohegan]

Ah ok I get ya. I think I would say that I agree with your use of it as you menat it, only I also include the idea of companionship as being part of a personal relationship. So to what degreee i added to or misquoted you, I am sorry. I am still comfortable in what I said because I think it agrees to what you meant by the phrase, but also adds in my own thoughts with it.

No need to apologize whatsoever!

I appreciated the fact that you added your own thoughts to it, even though I do not necessarily agree.

I admire anyone with the balls and focus to define these terms, as they use them. The allegedly PC urge to avoid doing so is something that I just don't understand.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thank you for sharing that Cat, I would nominate that for the sub thought of the day but i guess I don't get a vote in that.

I think your point is loud and clear. And I would agree in that first and foremost, ownership is what the relationship is founded upon. I tired to say that, but may not have made it clear enough. I was trying to say that though some levels of companionship does exist, you are not a companion serving as a slave, but rather you are a slave that has some levels of companionship in your relationship. I think I was only trying to point out that some M/s has very little of this, and some have more. If I overstated or misstated anything in regards to your relationship it was not meant to be negative or an intentional mischaracterization.

your second point is clearly understood as well in that a Master is not obilgated to run himself ragged in order to be a Master. I know exactly why you are making this point as there tends to be the idea that is attached more to the romonatic notion of M/s that a slave has this mindless blank stare on their face waiting to be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it every second of the day. Gawd what an absolute nightmare that would be. I think the phrase "high-maintance" and slave should never be used in the same sentence...lol well you know what I mean.

All's OK..I got what you were saying but being in a non-focused mood was elaborating for some who may be slightly confused as to how we live. There are many ways of doing it, and we are not as free to live it the way we would like, but this is as close as we can under the circumstances for now.

Catalina

 

[DVS]

I'll use the same format others seem to be using. It works.

what is the difference between Dom and Master?

Back in the old days, there was suppose to be a difference. Actually, everybody was first a Dom by label, and others who were suppose to be more educated in the finer points of BDSM and such, could be considered Masters. Nowdays, it's all pretty much murky waters.

Some consider a 24/7 partner to be more of a Master than those who don't enjoy a lot of control outside of the bedroom. Some say if the submissive considers herself a slave, then the person that controls her would be a Master.

But, with the Gor thing, it seems all who engage in that type of relationship consider themselves Masters. I've also heard the title of Lord, but I don't understand that as anything other than ego. And, a lot of this titile thing does revolve around the Dom's ego.

How do you know if the Dom or Master is telling the truth about how much experience they have in the lifestyle?

As others have told you, you really can't. Sure, there might be references avaiable, but other than that or talking to someone who knows him, you have to either take him at his word or move on.

Some say you can tell by how they do the job. If they are masterful in how they do what they do, that could mean they are truely a Master. But, I know there are Doms that can also be masterful in their trade. I think it all falls back to the ego thing in the previous queston.

Some people just desire a title more than others. The label of Dom is necessary and usually sufficient for most of us. But if you want that power to also preceed you in title, Master has a nice ring to it.

But, because you can pick a label, title or name on your own whims, it's not possible to know if someone is truly a Master or not. Unfortunately, only testing the waters will tell you that.

If a Dom or Master is married is it wrong to be involved with them if their spouse doesnt know?

Yes, unless the couple is in an open marrage, but that requires that you talk to the spouse to be sure.

Some people will say they are in an open marriage. Make sure you know for sure, before you make the mistake of cheaing with someone married.

How long of a time spand to you give before allowing any type of bondage to happen?

Trust. You must trust the person before you can allow them to tie you up. That is up to you, how long you wait before you know you can trust them. But, remember...once you are tied up, you have no control over what is done to you. That's where the trust comes in. You must be able to trust this person not to do anything you don't want, and to also stop anything, when you say stop.