Dominants versus "control complex"

[CuteBrat]

You completely missed on number 2, super-slave of the universe.

Read it again. Closer.

Marquis was saying you love/like/admire HIM. Not that you love everything he comes up with for you to do for him, not that you're sure that because you love him he's only gonna pat you on the head (or even love you back, I would add, but that's another thing)

im honestly not trying to put myself out there as a superslave. at all. i mess up all the time. ask my Masters. i was just trying to put my opinion in there....the posts seemed too..egalitarian.

i would agree i have to admire a person to belong to him. but i have been told to be with people i did not admire at all. i followed their commands, but it was really my Master i was obeying. so i guess you are right.

 

[Netzach]

im honestly not trying to put myself out there as a superslave. at all. i mess up all the time. ask my Masters. i was just trying to put my opinion in there....the posts seemed too..egalitarian.

i would agree i have to admire a person to belong to him. but i have been told to be with people i did not admire at all. i followed their commands, but it was really my Master i was obeying. so i guess you are right.

Anyone can hook up with someone they think is hot, I have my guy hook up with people he dislikes as often as I can for this very reason.

Sorry if I came off as overly harsh, there's something that irks me to no end about people using the phrase "wannabe" because guess what, a lot of people are not trying to be you or me, but themselves. IE. doing it differently.

And the question wasn't "is this person a TPE M/s M" it's is this person "a Dom" which to me can be a whole spectrum of things.

 

[CuteBrat]

Anyone can hook up with someone they think is hot, I have my guy hook up with people he dislikes as often as I can for this very reason.

thanks for the cease fire. especially now that i know you are a Domme. never good to get one of them mad at me!

 

[Netzach]

Heh. Well that "25 years masturbating to an internal script" thing? Story of my life, 9 in 10 "serious" slaves really haven't thought out that I may not operate the way they've been assuming. I'm actually trying to think how I spot serious candidates versus "serious" ones and I'm no use at all. Gaining H, my slave, was kind of bolt from the blue "I just KNEW".

 

[Homburg]

Heh. Well that "25 years masturbating to an internal script" thing? Story of my life, 9 in 10 "serious" slaves really haven't thought out that I may not operate the way they've been assuming. I'm actually trying to think how I spot serious candidates versus "serious" ones and I'm no use at all. Gaining H, my slave, was kind of bolt from the blue "I just KNEW".

This has been driving me a little widgey lately. I've been noticing the same damned thing. It's like this vibration or pheromone or something. You just get that feeling that, wow, this person really is the real deal. Sure, I can play with the ones that don't have that indefinable whatever, but that's all it is going to be.

And the "25 years masturbating to an internal script" people? Instant, total turn-off. People talk about trying to figure out who the real Dom/mes are? I'd be happy if I could just avoid this sort of person when I bring in a casual playmate. Blech.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[catalina_francisco]

(((Originally Posted by RJMasters
My general rule is, if you cannot see them as a friend, then chances are you haven't come to the point yet where you should be giving up control. )))


if a slave may be allowed to disagree....i just have to on this one. I have two Masters right now and i am not sure i would call either of them friend. and i doubt they would call ME friend. they are not my friends...they are my MASTERS. i am not their friend...i am their SLAVE. Friendship implies a "level playingfield" and a sense of equality that, to me, absolutely is the opposite of the M/s framework. The initial question was how do you know someone really IS a Dom...and this answer, to me, shows that the poster absolutely is NOT. or at least definitely not a Master.
--------------

((Originally Posted by Marquis
Just wait until you meet a guy whose demands you WANT to obey, not reluctantly out of a feeling of obligation, but because you like him, alot, and want to do whatever it takes to please him.))

again...i think this shows a lack of understanding of the M/s life. if i just obeyed out of LIKING to obey someone, how, exactly, would that be submitting? My Master has a term for people like those. He calls them Chocolate Cake subs...they will absolutely submit to eating delicious chocolate cake. True submission?? not so much.
----------
((JAMESBJOHNSON I dont know about everyone else, but I pay attention to the feelings I get from people. The other thing is, I know me pretty well. That is, I know what sort of women I'm attracted to...so I can spot them all over the place.

Beyond this you wait & watch, to collect a fund of observations about them before they know youre interested. So you can confirm your feelings. See how they treat people when no one is looking.))

Ah...finally someone who i can agree with! listen to your inner voice. the wannabe's show their true selves pretty quickly. They have no idea of the realities of submission....they think reality is the same as Story of O, or, God forbid, the Gor books. you can spot em pretty quickly.

just 2-cents worth, from a real-time slave's perspective....

Damn your assessment meter is a bit off in terms of the 3 men you quoted, and the one you picked as knowing what it is all about and yet is the only one of the 3 who is not taken seriously around these parts because he spends most of his time ridiculing the lifestyle and those in it. Personally, as a TPE slave myself, I cannot imagine serving 2 Masters as I would just find it too damn physically impossible if not confusing and stressful given that most 'Masters' I have had any contact with are not in the least interested in sharing their slave in terms of sharing ownership. They may share in terms of having the slave used in some way by another, but for them ownership and total control belong to them only, no-one else. But see, this is why it is good that we can all live what suits us best.

Catalina

 

[Homburg]

When I was looking, I kept getting that from men... that it didn't matter that my actual experience would fill a teacup; I'd repeatedly get told that they could just tell. I still occasionally ask John [Master Darling™] about it, and he keeps saying could just tell. It's weird...

Weird is the only way I can describe it, aye. It's like I meet the person and get the vibe, and Dominant in me just claws its' way to the surface and wants to lay claim.

Having said that, I disagree with your view that "friendship" = level playing field or equality.

I meant to comment on this as well. D/s aside, I have plenty of friendship that are clearly inequal. When you are socially dominant and you are friends with someone who is socially submissive, the relationship is going to be somewhat unequal by matter of course. Sure, there is no official power exchange, by if I tell my friend Alan to grab me a soda, he's going to do it simply because it is in his nature to follow commands. Also, any time you are friends with someone who has wildly different levels of income, education, social standing, or what have you, there is going to be some inequality. Yes, the friendship will help bridge the gap, but there will still be a gap.

I would personally argue that truly equal relationships are rare. More common are relationships where power balance flows and shifts, with one party having the upper hand, then the other. This is not strictly equal, even if it can achieve parity. Then again, I'm Dominant and socially dominant, so power dynamic may cloud my perceptions.

More on-topic, my gal, my wife, my slave, was my friend before she was any of these labels, and we did not somehow cease being friends when our relationship reached the point where those labels were appended. She is not jus my friend, but my best friend, and the person I rely on most in my life. Yes, that doesn't ring some people's M/s bells. whatever. I like it.

The only other gal that I've had serious power exchange with was my former pet, and she also started as my friend, remained my friend throughout the relationship, and is my friend today.

The bottom line for me is that if you are interesting, someone I enjoy being around, and we're compatible, we will likely become friends. If someone is not interesting, I don't enjoy being around that person, and we're not compatible, why would I want to own that person? I could perhaps see it if the person were phenomenally useful/talented/wealthy or somesuch, but I would personally have a tough time putting the energy into being a proper owner if those initial three parameters are not in place.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

NETZACH

Ah! Scripts!

We're coming full circle to when I first crashed this party. You express my sentiments better than me.

If it isnt the most natural feeling in the world, its a Script youre acting-out. Complete with costumes and props.

 

[Sir Quam]

CuteBrat, it is nice to finally see someone on the board who actually understands what BDSM is about.

I actually pity those of you who will never be able to comprehend the kind of submission CutePrat experiences with her 12 masters. Submission is not a lifestyle that one willingly walks into, it is a calling from deep within the woman's tenderloins that is simultaneously forced upon her by those brave and insightful enough to recognize her need, nay, her obligation.

 

[nh23]

Anyone can hook up with someone they think is hot, I have my guy hook up with people he dislikes as often as I can for this very reason.

Sorry if I came off as overly harsh, there's something that irks me to no end about people using the phrase "wannabe" because guess what, a lot of people are not trying to be you or me, but themselves. IE. doing it differently.

And the question wasn't "is this person a TPE M/s M" it's is this person "a Dom" which to me can be a whole spectrum of things.

 

[MadamaMiniTopic]

CuteBrat, it is nice to finally see someone on the board who actually understands what BDSM is about.

I actually pity those of you who will never be able to comprehend the kind of submission CutePrat experiences with her 12 masters. Submission is not a lifestyle that one willingly walks into, it is a calling from deep within the woman's tenderloins that is simultaneously forced upon her by those brave and insightful enough to recognize her need, nay, her obligation.

: humbly requests, nay grovels, for permission to concur :

 

[intothewoods]

: humbly requests, nay grovels, for permission to concur :

MadamaMiniTopic Sighting!!!!

 

[intothewoods]

Mmmm, tenderloins.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Homburg]

Soooo... if people practice M/s relationships the same way you and CuteBrat envision the dynamic, it's "real"; anything else, isn't?

I could be wrong, but I figured that post was dry parody from the "CutePrat" comment.

 

[intothewoods]

I could be wrong, but I figured that post was dry parody from the "CutePrat" comment.

I also figured that, but who knows...

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Homburg]

Hi! I've been editing images, cleaning houses, dealing with pissy clients, skimming Lit, prepping my online vintage business for closure and plotting out a children's story all at the same time today...

(Totally totally missed the "P" thing. )

First time I read it I missed it too. Then again, I thought the poster's name was "Sir Quim", and got a good chuckle out of that. I figured you just missed it, thus what I'd hoped was a gentle nod towards what may have been very dry humour.

And, wow, do I ever know about dealing with pissy clients. Grrrargh.

 

[intothewoods]

I knew it was on when MadamaMiniTopic responded.

 

[CuteBrat]

clarifications....

my lesson here is NEVER NEVER post on a thread before having coffee......

let me clarify a couple of things. i didnt mean to make judgments on the guyz whose posts i commented on. i should know better than that...its one post....yada yada. what i SHOULD have done was limit my comments to their posts themselves. if i have underestimated some people or overestimated others, i apologize.

i dont have 12 Masters. that would be....exhausting 2 is at least enough.

to the person who didnt see how that could work...both Masters are good friends, so i think tht helps. they sort of divide my time and the time of another slave between them...and i spend much more time with Master than Master2. my slave sister spends more time with Master2 than Master.

i wasnt trying 2 say i know better than others, or that i am some sorta superslave. im new to TPE...only been a slave for a few months after a few years as a sub. im just learning...and, from judging from the amount of times i get disciplined, not all that fast.

i just get cringy when people seem to have more of a kinky vanilla relationship, and claim its M/s or even D/s. i guess i am constantly seeking the most intensely pure experience of being owned i can find, and knee-jerk lash out when it seems people are diluting what Master and slavery and TPE are all about.

and im really really glad my Owners arent reading my threads here yet, cuz i am sure i would have paid for my bad impression.

happy thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Marquis]

i guess i am constantly seeking the most intensely pure experience of being owned i can find

This is the kind of honest self assessment I can get behind.

I think you'll find that impulse to be fairly ubiquitous throughout the BDSM scene, but you gotta lean to be subtle about it or we will make fun of you.

Like, on some "Carrie" shit.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I knew it was on when MadamaMiniTopic responded.

Quite frankly, I have her on ignore.

Edit to clarify 'her' = Madama

 

[Marquis]

I want someone who obeys me because I am ME and no one else, not because they have spent 25 years masturbating to some internal script and I fit the part.

By the way, this is something that can't possibly be repeated enough. So with that in mind:

I want someone who obeys me because I am ME and no one else, not because they have spent 25 years masturbating to some internal script and I fit the part.

Just in case you missed it,

I want someone who obeys me because I am ME and no one else, not because they have spent 25 years masturbating to some internal script and I fit the part.