Exquisite Corpse V.2

[Angeline]

Knew I missed the mark

Hi sorry I was gone for a while there. And when we came home we had to start dinner.

You should try to have one word from each participant in each line, so if you used six participants you'd need at least six-word lines. But you don't have to use a different figure of speech from each participant so you could, for example, have more adjectives and less nouns or vice versa. And as greenmountaineer pointed out in his example, the same word can often serve multiple functions. So, to me, the challenge is more about seeing what kinds of meaning you can get mainly from structure and the positions of words. And sometimes, like in butters' example, there is an elegance to what may at first appear nonsensical. It's just a way to rethink what you can do with a line of poetry.

But I do think I made the challenge harder by asking people to come up with their own poems instead of just submitting a word to one person who puts them together in the order they were received.

Maybe we should do some Mad Libs. Ever do that? They are fun and way easier than this....

 

[HarryHill]

Hi sorry I was gone for a while there. And when we came home we had to start dinner.

You should try to have one word from each participant in each line, so if you used six participants you'd need at least six-word lines. But you don't have to use a different figure of speech from each participant so you could, for example, have more adjectives and less nouns or vice versa. And as greenmountaineer pointed out in his example, the same word can often serve multiple functions. So, to me, the challenge is more about seeing what kinds of meaning you can get mainly from structure and the positions of words. And sometimes, like in butters' example, there is an elegance to what may at first appear nonsensical. It's just a way to rethink what you can do with a line of poetry.

But I do think I made the challenge harder by asking people to come up with their own poems instead of just submitting a word to one person who puts them together in the order they were received.

Maybe we should do some Mad Libs. Ever do that? They are fun and way easier than this....

Hope this has nothing to do with 'Mad Men' otherwise...

 

[Angeline]

Hope this has nothing to do with 'Mad Men' otherwise...

Mot in the least. They are great fun, you'll see. I'll start a thread in the Hangout.

 

[Remec]

First Corpse

Bugger, the perspiring ox-bow of a thunderhead always made me wish
dour clouds would move defiantly into the sky's attic. Cripes,
weren't for them, fuck, I’d be nicely ensconced on a shiny portico in the South.
WHOOSH, my head is smoking…brain more cheese and syrup than anything else,
I can candidly say if I could kneel on that gritty floor before her labia, my god,
I’d be back to being a puppy exploring a new garden…hopping, running, getting deeply into everything.

 

[butters]

First Corpse

Bugger, the perspiring ox-bow of a thunderhead always made me wish
dour clouds would move defiantly into the sky's attic. Cripes,
weren't for them, fuck, I’d be nicely ensconced on a shiny portico in the South.
WHOOSH, my head is smoking…brain more cheese and syrup than anything else,
I can candidly say if I could kneel on that gritty floor before her labia, my god, I’d be back to being a puppy exploring a new garden…hopping, running, getting deeply into everything.

don't know if it follows all the rules because the rules quite simply did my head in - but this works really well!

 

[Remec]

don't know if it follows all the rules because the rules quite simply did my head in - but this works really well!

I sort of made a chart of the first six poets' words (not counting myself), and then made a list of noun, verb, adjective, adverb, exclamation, and a second noun...rotating through each poet, in turn...then used that to work up a poem.

I see, after highlighting, that I dropped some of the six here and there between first draft and posted result. We'll see how I do with the next attempt.

 

[Angeline]

I sort of made a chart of the first six poets' words (not counting myself), and then made a list of noun, verb, adjective, adverb, exclamation, and a second noun...rotating through each poet, in turn...then used that to work up a poem.

I see, after highlighting, that I dropped some of the six here and there between first draft and posted result. We'll see how I do with the next attempt.

I think what you came up with is very interesting because it is both leading and open at the same time. You've guided the lines with just enough transition to suggest they are connected and yet each line really stands on its own. It doesn't matter whether you were consciously trying for that or not because you achieved it. What I know about Surrealist poetry would fit in a thimble, but it seems to me your poem created that tone. Just my opinion.

 

[HarryHill]

I think what you came up with is very interesting because it is both leading and open at the same time. You've guided the lines with just enough transition to suggest they are connected and yet each line really stands on its own. It doesn't matter whether you were consciously trying for that or not because you achieved it. What I know about Surrealist poetry would fit in a thimble, but it seems to me your poem created that tone. Just my opinion.

a brief guide to surrealist poetry for anyone else interested.

 

[Angeline]

a brief guide to surrealist poetry for anyone else interested.

Thanks. That's a wonderful site. The essays and articles there are really good.