Extremely Serious Issue -- Please Help

[midwestyankee]

This! is why I'll never marry again, the lack of autonomy, the wretched neediness, the suspicion and prying, the tedium of having to constantly shore up someone's fragile ego, the ever-increasing demands on my precious me-time, and most significantly, the unending litany of pedestrian melodrama--well, that and my horror at the notion of being legally obligated to bang one, and only one, woman for the rest of my life.

I'm far from being the poster child for perfect marriages, but wouldn't it make more sense to live your life with at least a few fewer gross overgeneralizations than this? If this describes the woman to whom you were once married, I have to ask who selected this fine specimen of womanhood in the first place?

 

[Eilan]

This! is why I'll never marry again, the lack of autonomy, the wretched neediness, the suspicion and prying, the tedium of having to constantly shore up someone's fragile ego, the ever-increasing demands on my precious me-time, and most significantly, the unending litany of pedestrian melodrama--well, that and my horror at the notion of being legally obligated to bang one, and only one, woman for the rest of my life.

Well, yeah, but how did YOU feel?

the tedium of having to constantly shore up someone's fragile ego

Of course, women NEVER have to stroke (so to speak) a man's ego, right? Then how do you explain this, this, this, this, or this?

And that's just for starters!

 

[midwestyankee]

Well, yeah, but how did YOU feel?

Of course, women NEVER have to stroke (so to speak) a man's ego, right? Then how do you explain this, this, this, this, or this?

And that's just for starters!

Size of the brain, on the other hand, seems to be an important factor.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

This looks like a Mars and Venus thread...

Here's some generalizations about men. These don't go for every man. I'm sure I'll leave something or multiples of somethings out by accident ...

Men mentally and emotionally compartmentalize ... everything. We can keep sex from emotions, emotions from sex, and emotions and sex from true intimacy without a second thought.

Men need, want, crave, desire, lust for and almost continuously seek out variety. For many of us, the only thing better than one beautiful, loving, understanding, compassionate, sexual woman would be more than one.

Once we get use to monogomy our sex drive changes. It doesn't diminish. It just starts playing by a different set of rules. The old adage- If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've got -applies here. We don't want to keep getting the same thing over and over, and over, and over ... Imagine eating the best filet mignon in the world. Now imagine only being able to eat that every night of your life. I don't care how good that piece of meat was the first night, it will get old having it every night, eventually. (I meant no offense with the meat analogy)

I don't see anything unusal about your hubby looking at porn or pics of naked women. The fact that he feels you wouldn't understand him doing it seems pretty typical for marriages that this happens in also.

Now the choice is yours as to how to react to it. Creatively and with understanding? Or negatively and with condemnation for something that is as natural a part of him as is his standing to pee?