Fantasies getting out of control

[willlph]

I like to think I am. Unless it comes to buying shoes............

There is nothing at all wrong with a woman buying shoes

But to reply with my opinion which is based on my experiences...
For me masturbation/orgasm is like a drug.... If I take a break from it for a few days... When I visit back to it It is so wonderful and intense... but if I become more frequent in masturbation/orgasm... that feeling dwindles if I use the same fantasy/porn/etc for inspiration.... And that is the spiral that I spiral down and I find my self thinking about things I would not imagine before or even turn me on for that matter....

I end up making my self take a break for a little while so that I can get that "high" again.

I hope this helps

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There's always that one asshat. . .

(Other than JBJ, of course.)

I'm guessing you applied to be a contestant on the BRUCE JENNER MAKE-OVER SPECIAL.

Beats the shit outta me what you make of someone who aint a woman or a man.

 

[knotty_canuck]

Be comfortable in your skin. They are fantasies and the mind is a wonderfully creative thing. The guilt/shame you feel afterward is the repressive effect of normative society that has been instilled in you through any number of institutions that seek to control how and what you think. As your mind breaks free, you'll become comfortable with your fantasies - so long as they remain fantasies and/or are not hurting anyone else.

 

[southern_gal]

Be comfortable in your skin. They are fantasies and the mind is a wonderfully creative thing. The guilt/shame you feel afterward is the repressive effect of normative society that has been instilled in you through any number of institutions that seek to control how and what you think. As your mind breaks free, you'll become comfortable with your fantasies - so long as they remain fantasies and/or are not hurting anyone else.

I am getting more comfy in my skin. Slowly. It's others getting comfy with my changing attitude and wants/needs that worries me really. I have a very close knit circle and they will accept me one way or the other but the wider circle, those that think they know me.......that could be a problem. The balancing act of the inner me and the outer me may never go away. I'll just get better at keeping things level hopefully.

 

[Cumference]

I am getting more comfy in my skin. Slowly. It's others getting comfy with my changing attitude and wants/needs that worries me really. I have a very close knit circle and they will accept me one way or the other but the wider circle, those that think they know me.......that could be a problem. The balancing act of the inner me and the outer me may never go away. I'll just get better at keeping things level hopefully.

Remember that everybody around you, have neither the right nor the need, to know everything about you.

 

[LadyVer]

Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?

Did you recently turn 40ish? I would say if your fantasies are making you feel guilty maybe you need to find something else to focus on, sexual or otherwise. Just sayin'.

 

[Kitschshaman]

I am getting more comfy in my skin. Slowly. It's others getting comfy with my changing attitude and wants/needs that worries me really. I have a very close knit circle and they will accept me one way or the other but the wider circle, those that think they know me.......that could be a problem. The balancing act of the inner me and the outer me may never go away. I'll just get better at keeping things level hopefully.

Lord I know it's more easily said than done, but what you feel about yourself should not be dependent on what others think of you. If a person would be uncomfortable knowing the darker things about you, there's no need for them to know them. Unless there's a particular person you'd like to indulge in the fulfillment of your darker with and that's a problem of a different nature, i.e. determining their probabilities of acceptance without revealing yourself too much and exposing yourself to pain. Otherwise, be kind to yourself.
<getting down off soapbox now, sorry>

 

[southern_gal]

Lord I know it's more easily said than done, but what you feel about yourself should not be dependent on what others think of you.

Yep, it is indeed easier said than done. I have always worried about stuff like that and likely always will. It's just part of me. Maybe I'm too thin skinned or vain.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

She wants to wake up looking like Michael Moore and be in bed with Henry Winkler.

 

[southern_gal]

She wants to wake up looking like Michael Moore and be in bed with Henry Winkler.

It could be a whole lot worse tho. I could wake up being like you or even worse yet eek in bed with you. Ok now I have to get that thought out of my mind immediately.

 

[Jay_P]

I dont think anyone wants to wake up looking like MIchael moore, maybe even including michael moore

 

[southern_gal]

I dont think anyone wants to wake up looking like MIchael moore, maybe even including michael moore

 

[Jay_P]

ladies appreciate a man who can make them laugh ....

 

[southern_gal]

ladies appreciate a man who can make them laugh ....

laughing is great. Moaning is better..........

 

[Partyliner]

getting increasingly wild

laughing is great. Moaning is better..........

I have called telephone chat lines, referred to by regulars as partylines, for approximately 20 yrs. I have discussed everything from animal crackers to your grandma's china . . . and have participated in phone sex with 100s of females, from all over the U.S, and Canada . . .But as I came to find out, you can only have sooo much phone sex with the same partner, Sure, compatibility, creativity and open-mindedness play a huge role, But, as female friend and i discussed, in order to avoid repetitive scenarios, you try to remain fresh, as well as increase the arousal level each time(keep them coming back). My friend cited an example of how she had experienced wonderful, mind-blowing orgasms while having phone sex where she was discussing a fantasy of having multiple younger male sex partners at one time, Slowly the number of partners began to increase, by 1 or 2 per chat, until she decided it was out of control, when her phone partner was suggesting bringing in a bus load of high school football players!! Anyhow I drew a similarity to flying a kite . . .you keep letting out more and more string, but eventually you realize there is no possible way your going to reel that distant speck in the sky back in . . .

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I have called telephone chat lines, referred to by regulars as partylines, for approximately 20 yrs. I have discussed everything from animal crackers to your grandma's china . . . and have participated in phone sex with 100s of females, from all over the U.S, and Canada . . .But as I came to find out, you can only have sooo much phone sex with the same partner, Sure, compatibility, creativity and open-mindedness play a huge role, But, as female friend and i discussed, in order to avoid repetitive scenarios, you try to remain fresh, as well as increase the arousal level each time(keep them coming back). My friend cited an example of how she had experienced wonderful, mind-blowing orgasms while having phone sex where she was discussing a fantasy of having multiple younger male sex partners at one time, Slowly the number of partners began to increase, by 1 or 2 per chat, until she decided it was out of control, when her phone partner was suggesting bringing in a bus load of high school football players!! Anyhow I drew a similarity to flying a kite . . .you keep letting out more and more string, but eventually you realize there is no possible way your going to reel that distant speck in the sky back in . . .

You know shit about sex.

 

[Que]

I think of Zelda Gilroy when I imagine you.

I bet Zelda was enthusiastic in the sack. *nods*

 

[Harold_Hill]

Did the OP ever say what her disturbing dark fantasies were?

 

[Kitschshaman]

Lord I know it's more easily said than done, but what you feel about yourself should not be dependent on what others think of you.

Yep, it is indeed easier said than done. I have always worried about stuff like that and likely always will. It's just part of me. Maybe I'm too thin skinned or vain.

Sorry it took me so long to respond here, maybe now that warm weather is realllly here the head will lift and I'll see what's around me. I don't think it's a matter of being thin-skinned, I think it's a matter of being mindful of others. I know that may sound a little weird, but I was taught to listen when I was growing up (yeah, suthern, y'know) and that's ingrained. But a body can take that a little too far when the opinions of other become more important than your own. There is a healthy middle ground between irrational arrogance (where a body always thinks they're right irregardless of what anyone thinks) and irrational ... well, I don't know what to call it, ... but when all that matters is what everybody else thinks. I will end this too-long epistle with just one thought ... that as long as you don't hurt people, no one has the right to put you down or try to make your sense of self-worth diminish ... only you have the right to determine your self-worth. Only you. And for what it's worth, you seem pretty great to me.
(getting down off of tottering soapbox now)

 

[mjleharri44]

What can't believe your feelings are exactly my own - even being on here "discussing" anyhow just thought maybe everyone on here is experienced and confident in well you know. . . nice to know I am not alone

 

[skeptomaniac]

Personally I think finding a form of expression that's healthy is a happy medium. I know I can't and shouldn't realise some of my fantasies but I also know that bottling them completely is a sure path to madness and possibly doing something stupid. I'm now writing in the Sexual Roleplay Forum here, which is basically where people write stories in conjunction with other 'players,' each portraying their own character. This is a game changer for me, because writing erotic fiction wasn't really expressive enough but I have found that being able to bounce off of an equally depraved co-writer makes it much more satisfying and obviously far less predictable.

Of course, SRP isn't for everyone. What I'm saying is you need to find your happy medium between going quietly crazy and doing something dumb.

Nobody can see into another's mind. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Everyone has urges and some are more primal than others. We're none of us that far evolved that our appetites are particularly rational. I think your fantasies are more common than you realise. You need to accept that there's nothing 'wrong' with you or 'shameful' about your fantasies.

I'm a staunch feminist with a streak of pretty much abject sexual and emotional masochism. I can't change that any more than a gay woman could turn straight. I've given up trying to square that circle. My sex life is my business and harms nobody else. My personal perversions have no bearing on how I think an egalitarian society should function. If it does no harm then it's harmless.

 

[Bustins]

I think you need to fantasize and it helps keep your sexuality alive....and masturbation is fun

 

[robertreams]

Lately my fantasies are getting darker and less normal than usual and perhaps more than I care to admit. Why is this? I like to think I am normal and have a normal sex life but for some reason I seem to masturbate more and more to fantasies that I regret later. Help?

You didn't say why you regretted those masturbatory sessions, but i suspect that regret has something to do with a value system you no longer endorse. Many years ago I discovered that I needed to change my code to better fit the new lifestyle I was creating. (CSNY) "You on the lonely road, must have a code that you can live by, and so become yourself. . ."
Good is that which affirms love and life. Evil is its opposite. What is in your mind, what you do to and with your own body can harm no one (except perhaps you). Want some slogans? Make love not war. If it feels good, do it! Carpe Diem. etc.

The depth and breadth of human sexuality are almost limitless. It only makes sense that your horizons expand as you extend more. As long as you actions do not injure others, (or yourself), I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy any fantasy, however dark.

One thing though, I agree with you about Junior Blow Job's disposition, but please lighten up on the age digs. You think we wouldn't go back to young if we could. Pray you reach my age some day. The alternative is nothing.

 

[Bustins]

I am not sure if they can get out of control....

 

[MistressMoira]

My fantasies mostly run to the vanilla side of things. I am not sure how I would respond if my fantasies were becoming dark - into the illegal side of things. I feel very sorry for people whose preferences are towards the taboo.