Feedback Please -- On my latest story

[tickledkitty]

Shhhh. If you keep it up, we're going to have to start a clique.

Ooohhh, that would be cool! I haven't belonged to a clique in several years.

 

[MarshAlien]

Ooohhh, that would be cool! I haven't belonged to a clique in several years.

I don't think I was ever in a clique. I was more this type:

John Marshall High School was not my idea of a good time. There was a core of jocks (male and female), cheerleaders, and the generally cool; orbiting planets for band members, newspaper and yearbook types, comics, theatre freaks, and druggies, who were at least connected; and then there were people like me, whose orbits occasionally brought them uncomfortably close to the solar system but who generally preferred to stay out among the asteroid fields. I was currently on one of my forays to the center, where I seemed to have been appointed the target-of-the-month by the freshman and sophomore football players and their tart-tongued girlfriends. The juniors and seniors, thank God, thought me so far beneath them as to not even be worthy of attention.​

From A Stitch in Time, Part 01 (there's nothing more shameless and pathetic than using someone else's thread to plug your own work, is there? But as Popeye put it, Iyam what Iyam and that's all what Iyam.).

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Ok, I did some research on Armor.

In the earliest times all armour was leather. The poorest soldiers wore none at all.

Up through the mid-fourtheenth century with the advent of steel smithing, the armor for everyone on the field would have been chain mail, including the Knights and Lords. Generally, especially, during the crusades, the chain mail was covered by a loose jerkin, leaving only the arms and head to expose the armor.

Beginning in the early fifteenth century, the art of armor making produced breast plates and metal shields. This armor in a number of versions and weights was used through the sixteenth century.

During the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries, Jousting tounaments became popular. Heavier armor was used. Typically, the knight in this type armor weighed some 450 lbs and could neither walk nor move in it.

 

[tickledkitty]

I don't think I was ever in a clique. I was more this type:

John Marshall High School was not my idea of a good time. There was a core of jocks (male and female), cheerleaders, and the generally cool; orbiting planets for band members, newspaper and yearbook types, comics, theatre freaks, and druggies, who were at least connected; and then there were people like me, whose orbits occasionally brought them uncomfortably close to the solar system but who generally preferred to stay out among the asteroid fields. I was currently on one of my forays to the center, where I seemed to have been appointed the target-of-the-month by the freshman and sophomore football players and their tart-tongued girlfriends. The juniors and seniors, thank God, thought me so far beneath them as to not even be worthy of attention.​

I was a band fag. That's what they called us.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Ok, I did some research on Armor.

In the earliest times all armour was leather. The poorest soldiers wore none at all.

Up through the mid-fourtheenth century with the advent of steel smithing, the armor for everyone on the field would have been chain mail, including the Knights and Lords. Generally, especially, during the crusades, the chain mail was covered by a loose jerkin, leaving only the arms and head to expose the armor.

Beginning in the early fifteenth century, the art of armor making produced breast plates and metal shields. This armor in a number of versions and weights was used through the sixteenth century.

During the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries, Jousting tounaments became popular. Heavier armor was used. Typically, the knight in this type armor weighed some 450 lbs and could neither walk nor move in it.
http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l27/Jenny_Jackson/ScreenShot287.jpg

I did much the same as you, and came up with the same results. The story was based in the time of the crusades and the type of armor he described was still a few hundred years away.

What surprised me the most in his description, was the lack of a shield for himself.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Ooohhh, that would be cool! I haven't belonged to a clique in several years.

You guys start your clique, and I'll start spreading rumors...

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I did much the same as you, and came up with the same results. The story was based in the time of the crusades and the type of armor he described was still a few hundred years away.

What surprised me the most in his description, was the lack of a shield for himself.

Shields were generally leather or leather with metal attachments well into the midevil period. Metal shields were used during the crusades and were rather large, rectangular things, of the "Tower Shield" type and extended from throat to mid-calf. When steel armor became comon among the noble class (never was comon among the soldiers who actually did the fighting) the shields became smaller and tended to cover only from neck to mid-thigh. The actual armor value of a shield has always been questionable. They gave mediocre protection against arrows, almost none against an axe or sword.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Shields were generally leather or leather with metal attachments well into the midevil period. Metal shields were used during the crusades and were rather large, rectangular things, of the "Tower Shield" type and extended from throat to mid-calf. When steel armor became comon among the noble class (never was comon among the soldiers who actually did the fighting) the shields became smaller and tended to cover only from neck to mid-thigh. The actual armor value of a shield has always been questionable. They gave mediocre protection against arrows, almost none against an axe or sword.

I would think the shield would be better at deflecting a blow, or an arrow, rather that protecting against a direct hit.

 

[jomar]

From A Stitch in Time, Part 01 (there's nothing more shameless and pathetic than using someone else's thread to plug your own work, is there? But as Popeye put it, Iyam what Iyam and that's all what Iyam.).

Nicely done, though.

 

[tickledkitty]

You guys start your clique, and I'll start spreading rumors...

Oh. You don't want to be part of our clique?

 

[MarshAlien]

Oh. You don't want to be part of our clique?

Make sure he played an instrument. I was a second clarinet. I think we should update the name, though. What do you think about Band FAQs?

Nicely done, though.

There is an art to self-promotion, no?

 

[tickledkitty]

Make sure he played an instrument. I was a second clarinet. I think we should update the name, though. What do you think about Band FAQs?



There is an art to self-promotion, no?

Oh, you aren't going to believe this. I was first chair clarinet. Well, I mean, after serving my time as 3rd and then 2nd. I like the name.

Drk plays guitar.

You realize we've completely jacked this thread don't you?

 

[MarshAlien]

Oh, you aren't going to believe this. I was first chair clarinet. Well, I mean, after serving my time as 3rd and then 2nd. I like the name.

Drk plays guitar.

You realize we've completely jacked this thread don't you?

I prefer the word "bumped." Most people who ask for feedback get a response from a few of us, and then the thread sinks like a rock. Ol' writelove here has had this thread at the top of the forum for hours now. And I did give him feedback. Didn't I? <looks back> Yeah, I did. High quality stuff, too, that mixed praise and criticism, and used writing words like "plot." He hasn't been complaining about us, has he?

@!!$%@ first chair clarinets.

 

[_Lynn_]

You guys start your clique, and I'll start spreading rumors...

I wanna help!!!

 

[tickledkitty]

@!!$%@ first chair clarinets.

What does this mean? Backbiting in our clique already??

 

[_Lynn_]

What does this mean? Backbiting in our clique already??

Food for the rumor mill already wwoohoooo

 

[MarshAlien]

Food for the rumor mill already wwoohoooo

No, no, no. It was a complete coincidence that some talented freshman clarinet player happened to come along every time the most senior first clarinetist left school, leaving the first chair second clarinetist sitting there, and sitting there, and sitting there.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

 

[tickledkitty]

No, no, no. It was a complete coincidence that some talented freshman clarinet player happened to come along every time the most senior first clarinetist left school, leaving the first chair second clarinetist sitting there, and sitting there, and sitting there.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Ahem. Did you practice? My mama always used to say, "Practice makes perfect."

 

[_Lynn_]

No, no, no. It was a complete coincidence that some talented freshman clarinet player happened to come along every time the most senior first clarinetist left school, leaving the first chair second clarinetist sitting there, and sitting there, and sitting there.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I heard it left the second chair clarinetist sitting there on the first chair clarinetist. Not that I listened.

 

[MarshAlien]

I heard it left the second chair clarinetist sitting there on the first chair clarinetist. Not that I listened.

Basically, there were four first clarinetists, one of them the first chair and one the second chair. And about eight second clarinetists (one of them was also designated first chair, but that's sort of like being the fifth vice president). All of the first clarinetists were insufferable girls.

Ahem. Did you practice?

Just like that.

Anyway, having the second chair clarinetist sitting on the first chair clarinetist, while kinky in retrospect, wouldn't have affected me.

 

[tickledkitty]

I heard it left the second chair clarinetist sitting there on the first chair clarinetist. Not that I listened.

Lynn, you wanna be in our clique? Then there would be three of us, and two of us could pair up and whisper about the other one. Oh, so much fun. Then we could coerce drk into leaving the evil kitten sisters' clique (or whatever they're supposedly called) and joining us. That will change the dynamics. Then we could take turns going on the Dear X thread and leaving nasty messages for each other without naming any names. I could even start:

Dear X:

You are a jealous, backbiting dog turd. If you had practiced your clarinet more, you too could have made first chair, instead of sitting behind first chair throwing invisible hate bombs.

Signed,
FIRST Chair

 

[_Lynn_]

Lynn, you wanna be in our clique? Then there would be three of us, and two of us could pair up and whisper about the other one. Oh, so much fun. Then we could coerce drk into leaving the evil kitten sisters' clique (or whatever they're supposedly called) and joining us. That will change the dynamics. Then we could take turns going on the Dear X thread and leaving nasty messages for each other without naming any names. I could even start:

Dear X:

You are a jealous, backbiting dog turd. If you had practiced your clarinet more, you too could have made first chair, instead of sitting behind first chair throwing invisible hate bombs.

Signed,
FIRST Chair

Better make sure it's ok with the other member. I was in trouble already once with that one today.

 

[tickledkitty]

Better make sure it's ok with the other member. I was in trouble already once with that one today.

Eh, who died and made him king of the world? Being a charter member of the club, I can recruit new members if I want. Besides, he seems to like you.

You joined another clique already today??

 

[_Lynn_]

Eh, who died and made him king of the world? Being a charter member of the club, I can recruit new members if I want. Besides, he seems to like you.

You joined another clique already today??

No just thought I was in trouble with Marsh is all....

 

[MarshAlien]

No just thought I was in trouble with Marsh is all....

With moi? Not at all. You didn't call me a jealous, backbiting dog turd, did you? No, that was "somebody else."

Gotta go, ladies, it's been fun today. Don't talk about me while I'm gone.

[size=-2]yeah, like that's gonna work[/size]