For submissives...The absolute worst punishment

[RJMasters]

A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

Though this thread comes from a sub point of view, I offer the following:

This was by far the worst punishment I have ever given to my submissive, and forever branded her on such a deep level. This punishment was for no mere act of dis-obedience, but was given because the act carried with it a betrayal. I admit the act she committed caused me intimate pain, hence this punishment she would never forget and severed to strengthen and forge a deeper level of submission she had never known. For that matter took me to a deeper level of understanding of what it means to take responsibility for those I take under my me

I have often contiplated what truely punishes a submissive more:

1. To be ignored.

2. To face tangibly the ugliness of her un-submissiveness.

I choose the later, and carried out her punishment.

I forced her to do physically, what she had done mentaly and emotionally to me. To make her feel the shame and dis-appointment which she had brought to me through this betrayal.

In short, I forced her to take up a whip and deliver 10 lashes to my back and explained that she must drew blood or be dismissed. She was also forced to count the strokes as she delivered them.

Some may wonder at this, but to those who are truely sub, knows this is an unthinkable act. In-fact it took the threat of dismal to get her to carry out this punishment.

It took me almost a month to put her back together after this. I think this truely made her understand what betrayal and dis-obedience really meant to me. I also think this showed her the level of my commitment to her. Sure I could have just turned her loose for what she had done, and I would have been within my rights to do so, but would she have grown? From that point further, should she displease me, I but needed to turn my back and force her to look upon the marks of her ugliness on my back and force her to count to ten. She rarely made it to 2 before she was sobbing on her face heart ready to submit. When I was exceptionally angry I forced to her to count up to 6 or 7.

It was then I realized that ignoring a sub never really cured anything. And though "ignoring" a submissive was a punishment, a far better cleansing punishment was to force a sub to face and feel the effects of the shame/pain they cause thier Master from their dis-obedience in a real and substantial way.

Respectfully submitted.

 

[Netzach]

Dismissal.

And when a relationship sinks to the point where I need to "punish" to get what I want, that's exactly what happens.

 

[ethereal~minx]

I have not experienced a d/s relationship where we both agreed that's what we were doing however I have been involved with dominant individuals.

One in particular, it was the tone of his voice and his well chosen words~ the pain I felt for my disgrace, it was humiliating to be in front of him ..the absolute worst punishment was seeing in his eyes that I displeased him with my behavior

 

[Mary Magadline]

Mistress Magadline

Hello, thanks for this thread. I am a new Dominatrix in cyber land. I recently found a younger man in real life who, while not wanting to be a Sub, does want me to play the Dom for him. It is exciting to learn and play.

In Lit, I have taken on the role of the aggressor in the threads I have been role playing in. In my own thread, I have three Bi-sexual slaves, two are in training and one is joining my house to train my slave to be proper slaves. My two original slaves and I are all new to the whole Bi-sexual MMF and Sub/Dom experiences. We are learning as we play. I rely on my more experienced Lead Slaves to teach humility.

I am enjoying this thread as it gives me ideas for play in this new territory of BDSM. Thanks all who have been sharing.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

<snip>In short, I forced her to take up a whip and deliver 10 lashes to my back and explained that she must drew blood or be dismissed. She was also forced to count the strokes as she delivered them.<snip>

Respectfully submitted.

RJMasters, You win. There must be a prize around here just for You.

i would never do this.

i could never do this.

i would rather give up my right arm.

 

[graceanne]

Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

RJMasters, You win. There must be a prize around here just for You.

i would never do this.

i could never do this.

i would rather give up my right arm.

OMG, I . . . no words. How aweful.

 

[serijules]

Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

In short, I forced her to take up a whip and deliver 10 lashes to my back and explained that she must drew blood or be dismissed. She was also forced to count the strokes as she delivered them.

I myself would have choosen to walk away or asked for release. Being "forced" to do something where I could seriously hurt someone by my lack of skill and knowledge with an implement is not punishment, it's...hmm, I don't know what it is. Perhaps she had such skills, but I doubt her mental mindframe was stable enough for her to have any business having a whip in her hand anyhow. It seems almost disrepectful in and of itself.

Reading this post made me think of that Harrison Ford movie where the hijacker on the plane holds a gun to the presidents daughter and wife's head and demands that he choose between his wifes life or his childs or they all will be killed. Was that a 'punishment' too?

I dunno, I get the point you were trying to make but something about the whole thing just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe I *am* missing the point.

 

[tythisredheadup]

No, you're right. That defines "punishment".

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

RJMasters, You win. There must be a prize around here just for You.

i would never do this.

i could never do this.

i would rather give up my right arm.

Yes I did win, and I did get my prize. I got to keep a sub that I truly cherished.

---------------------
Yes, she had no right having a whip in her hand, and yes it was very trama-tizing for her. As I mentioned it took me a month to put her back together after this. Two things to note...

One, I choose to do this extreme punishment in an atempt to break a "cycle of destructive behavior" in her life. I think this was the first time she ever met a Dom that cared enough to be willing to endure real pain in order to keep her. After many abusive relationships prior to ours, she had very low self esteem issues, and I recognized her betrayal was her way to avoid intamacy(avoidance) in hopes the current Dom would then cut her loose after punishing her. Thus leading over and over to a self destructive cycle. I knew this sub loved me deeply, needed me desperately and was really crying out for help. I also knew I was big enough and strong enough in the knowledge of who I was to be able to endure this. I never was out of control of the situation, and even had to talk her through afterwards what to do to help me(it was more painful than I thought and needed help, you are right in that she didn't know how to use the whip. Out of the ten strokes only 3 really landed to produce a blood beaded welt).

Two, I needed to know if she was willing to stretch and grow. If she could find the strength to do this deed, then I knew she had the strength to break this cycle of destruction in her life.

Regardless of what some may think, I knew this was the right solution for the present situation. It worked remarkably well, as she finally understood that I did care about her, hence was then able to be in a position to re-build some of that self esteem.

So I did win in the end and did get my prize and helped someone I truely cared deeply for.

 

[serijules]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

So I did win in the end and did get my prize and helped someone I truely cared deeply for.

I'm glad it worked out for both of you.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

Yes, she had no right having a whip in her hand, and yes it was very trama-tizing for her. As I mentioned it took me a month to put her back together after this. Two things to note...

and how did you put her back together?

 

[Jack Eagle]

I did promise...

Like the others, it would be being ignored. I can't stand it. It rips me of my self-esteem and self-worth. I sit and cry like a baby.

I just wanted to see that I wasn't alone.

No, you are not alone Ty.

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

and how did you put her back together?

Well, in the first week we just spent time together. Mostly discussing what had taken place. Her betrayal, the punishment. Discovering and recognizing the cycle of destruction.

She didn't understand the punishment, only how it effected her. The following week I made her document all that she had been through and what she had learned about herself through the process. And began to re-introduce her to the whip by making sure one was in sight, but keeping it on the far side of the room. Each day moving it closer to her. Till at the end of the week as she knelt in front of me I draped it over her back.

The last week we worked on forgiveness. Her acceptance of my forgiveness for what she did, and her acceptance of her own forgiveness and what she done in the past to herself. To ensure cleansing I placed her into sub-space, then begin to reform her thoughts about herself and who she was in relation to me.

In the end, she learned to trust again. Mostly how to trust in herself, and through that trust in another.

I would simply say I helped her to find some inner peace, and by my definition, that is putting her back together.

I hope that answers your question.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

I would simply say I helped her to find some inner peace, and by my definition, that is putting her back together.

i would say you have a very lucky sub, indeed.

By the way... Welcome to the boards.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

I myself would have choosen to walk away or asked for release.

This is definitely what I would have done. I think I could handle any punishment but this one.

Being "forced" to do something where I could seriously hurt someone by my lack of skill and knowledge with an implement is not punishment, it's...hmm, I don't know what it is. Perhaps she had such skills, but I doubt her mental mindframe was stable enough for her to have any business having a whip in her hand anyhow. It seems almost disrepectful in and of itself. <snip> I dunno, I get the point you were trying to make but something about the whole thing just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe I *am* missing the point.

This *is* the point he's trying to get across, i believe. She is forced to deliver blows to him, and she knows she doesn't know what she's doing. She knows she's going to hurt him. She knows that for her to be forgiven she must go through agony of watching him take "her" punishment. Think of the emotions that are running through her as she has to deliver those strikes. This is the most creative punishment I've ever heard of. It would take me a month or more to get over it myself.

Personally, I think I'd rather have someone take my arm.

 

[Clytaemnestra]

>I would simply say I helped her to find some inner peace, and >by my definition, that is putting her back together.


That very nearly brought tears to my eyes.

 

[fallon2]

I am

beginning to think that the absolute worst punishment may have to be when the dominant breaks up with the sub, lets some time go by and THEN decides that the sub is NOW worthy to take back.

In the past year four women have shared with me or on this board that the roller coaster of emotions they feel is extremely hard and upsetting to say the least.

I only wish women would realize that these mind games are done by individuals who know very well what they are doing and why they are doing it.

 

[RJMasters]

>I would simply say I helped her to find some inner peace, and >by my definition, that is putting her back together.


That very nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Now don't get all emotional on me or i'll get a reputation for being a sap. Then i'll have to dole out spanking to prove otherwise...

[pauses]

...thinks about what I said....nevermind.



heehee

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

... I forced her to do physically, what she had done mentaly and emotionally to me. To make her feel the shame and dis-appointment which she had brought to me through this betrayal.

In short, I forced her to take up a whip and deliver 10 lashes to my back and explained that she must drew blood or be dismissed. She was also forced to count the strokes as she delivered them.

Some may wonder at this, but to those who are truely sub, knows this is an unthinkable act. In-fact it took the threat of dismal to get her to carry out this punishment.

It was then I realized that ignoring a sub never really cured anything. And though "ignoring" a submissive was a punishment, a far better cleansing punishment was to force a sub to face and feel the effects of the shame/pain they cause thier Master from their dis-obedience in a real and substantial way.

Respectfully submitted.

Sorry, but i disagree, and for these reasons.

You gambled big. Had she refused to perform the punishment, you had to let her go. She doesn't grow, and you've lost a sub. Had you not let her go, her respect level goes down, and you both lose. Congrats on having the luck when you gambled.

You can use this once effectively. Try it the second, third ... nth time, and you might as switch. Most of us know trying to keep the dynamic at a level acceptable for both doesn't happen easily. So, when do you pull this "one use only" card?

Last, check the opinions of the subs that have posted. Although you shook them at a visceral level, most realize this kind of punishment might not work in their relationships past, present, or future.

 

[serijules]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

This *is* the point he's trying to get across, i believe. She is forced to deliver blows to him, and she knows she doesn't know what she's doing. She knows she's going to hurt him. She knows that for her to be forgiven she must go through agony of watching him take "her" punishment. Think of the emotions that are running through her as she has to deliver those strikes. This is the most creative punishment I've ever heard of. It would take me a month or more to get over it myself.

Personally, I think I'd rather have someone take my arm.

Hmm, yeah I see what you are saying, and what he is saying, but I guess I just can't get past the feeling that handling something in such a manner is extremely disrespectful of all the positive views of the lifestyle that BDSMers try to build. I would never allow someone inexperienced with a rather severe implement touch me with it until I have reason to believe they can handle it without *harming* me. For a sub to be forced to pick up an implement and *purposly* harm someone (which is what she did by weilding that whip, "forced" to or not) just goes beyound my scope of understanding. I'm not a fan of the "eye for an eye" method, especially when the chances of it backfiring on him HORRIBLY were very very high. It just seems like it was too high of a risk to take. At least to me.

That being said, there is MUCH more to this story than can be shared here, or than I have any interest whatsoever in knowing (as its a very private matter), so it's really hard to judge without knowing the whole story. I'm just sharing what my initial reaction to the information shared was.

 

[princess4u]

by far the worst punishment for me is to hear the words:
"you have disappointed me" - the pain i inflict on myself
after hearing them is far worse than anything he would
ever physically do to me

my role in life is to serve and please him - in return he
nurtures me and all that i am - protecting me , caring for me,
loving me - to know that he has not faltered or waivered
but i have, is very painful

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

Sorry, but i disagree, and for these reasons.

You gambled big. Had she refused to perform the punishment, you had to let her go.

----
I was prepared if she chose that route. It was not a gamble it was me setting my terms by which the relationship would continue.
----

She doesn't grow, and you've lost a sub.

----
A sub that doesn't grow or want to grow, is not in my presence long, and I have never lost a sub.
----


You can use this once effectively. Try it the second, third ... nth time, and you might as switch. Most of us know trying to keep the dynamic at a level acceptable for both doesn't happen easily. So, when do you pull this "one use only" card?

----
Agreed, this is only a one time thing, and was shared only in the spirit of this thread as to the "Worst" punishment. Never to be use in a common way, unless of course, as you mentioned the dynamic of the relationship can support switching.
----


Last, check the opinions of the subs that have posted. Although you shook them at a visceral level, most realize this kind of punishment might not work in their relationships past, present, or future.

---
Agreed, this would not or even should not be used by many. It was right for the situation and relationship and the circumstances which brought us to that point.
---

I take your post's meaning AA, and I do not so much as disagree with your intent as it is obviously what you say is true. Although make no mstake, no gamble was involved here with this decsion. It was well thought out and should she had decided not to go through with it, she would have been released.

Nuff said and won't derail this thread any longer.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

One of the worst things for me to experience is "The Look".

I remember getting "The Look" once, and I wanted to shrink up in a ball. He didn't have to speak, he didn't have to move. I knew I'd done wrong.

That look in his eyes and his facial expression was enough to make me just want to crawl and beg forgiveness. It was much worse than any spanking or other punishment he could have doled out.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

A sub that doesn't grow or want to grow, is not in my presence long, and I have never lost a sub.

You left me curious with the above quote. Does this mean the submissive always bends to your will to grow, or gets cut loose by you before you begin a D/s relationship with them?

Nuff said and won't derail this thread any longer.

i didn't think you derailed the thread. You simply offered what some may think an extreme. My hat's off to you for sticking to your guns for what you want in your world. Hell, i'll even smile and applaud for you accomplishing what you wanted. Not many have your intuition, nor luck.

 

[serijules]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

---


Nuff said and won't derail this thread any longer.

I don't think you derailed this thread at all, I find it a rather interesting discussion, even if I don't agree with you. People don't have to agree with one another to make a discussion interesting or pleasant.