For submissives...The absolute worst punishment

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

You left me curious with the above quote. Does this mean the submissive always bends to your will to grow, or gets cut loose by you before you begin a D/s relationship with them?

Does this mean the submissive always bends to your will to grow?

Of course, is that not the way of a submissive? To trust in the guidance of their Dom? To have their limits expanded?

My view of Mastering is my own. If I were to define it, it would be easier to understand the context from which that statement comes. Perhaps I will start a thread that will allow me the opportunity to present some of my views on mastering.

As I re-read the statement I made, it does appear to be rather ubrupt and threatening for conveince sake. So for clarification, I will restate it another way. Those who do not wish to learn and grow from what I have to offer, have no need or desire to be in my presence. As I mentioned before, I have never lost a sub which means those which have been with me needed or had a desire to be in my presence.

As to the second half of your question, requires me to open myself up and give you all a look see into who I am. I am always up for a good examination( Anouncement over the loud speaker: Will all subs dressed in nurses uniforms please move to the front of the room, thank you ),

I have had only two D/s relationships where actual commitments/contracts were made. In both cases each entered the relationship with full knowledge of my desire for them to grow. Both did as did I. And when they were released(hold on to your hats as you don't see this everyday), both relationships ended well. They departed with high self-esteem and a sense of hope for the future. One ended after two years because of time restraints on my life which I could not meet and continue to provide as a Dom. The second ended after a year because I had nothing more I could teach her as I was still a young Dom and had much to learn. I was very proud of both of them for the steps they took while in my care, and know both of them found good decent Doms which I help inteviewed and approve at thier request.

Though I have had only two subs, I have always felt quality is more important than quantity. Though my expeirence is limited, I will let you make up your own minds as to the depth and worth of my knowledge of BDSM, as you continue to learn more about me from my future posts. I have been aware of who I am as a Dom for about 7 years, of which the 1st year I spent learning, year 2 with my first sub, year 3 learning, year 4 and 5 with my second sub, 6 and 7 learning which brings us to date today.

I am currently married and though my wife's relationship is not a pure D/s relationship, she is by nature very submissive especially in the bedroom. It will be 19 yrs come this december and we are still wondering when the honeymoon will end.

I have taken many subs under my care for brief periods of time(mostly on-line), but not in a full commitment relationship. Mostly time enough for them to heal, and get their submissive fire back(which I call "the hope of worth to serve"). The fact that a time limit was placed on these brief periods was agreed to, by the submissives that came to me seeking help. Bucause I have a wife and two daughters, my time is too limited to give to another female. I do enjoy particpating online as much as I can, but that is as far as I can be stretched.

So to answer the second half of the question you pose, the answer would be yes and no as I see it. I hope that satisfies your curiosity AA.

 

[badlilthang]

Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

I forced her to do physically, what she had done mentaly and emotionally to me. To make her feel the shame and dis-appointment which she had brought to me through this betrayal.

In short, I forced her to take up a whip and deliver 10 lashes to my back and explained that she must drew blood or be dismissed. She was also forced to count the strokes as she delivered them.

Some may wonder at this, but to those who are truely sub, knows this is an unthinkable act. In-fact it took the threat of dismal to get her to carry out this punishment.
Respectfully submitted.

shudders at the mere thought of being put in a situation like that....because of my own betrayal....~pondering look~....i was about to say being ignored by my One - would be the far worst punishment for me...but to be forced to hurt Him...and draw blood......~cringing~.....it would have broken my spirit complitely...and i think i would have needed a lot of time to build myself up after something as devastating as that...but i also realize...that punishment was severe because the action that caused it was also severe.

i make mistakes...like we all do - they are usually small - and i don't act like a brat to see how far i can push Someone...(if i am owned)...but some days i push too much - and it is clear to me the same moment His eyes changes...that is when i wish for the rewind button......

another thought comes to mind...what if the Master is the One betraying...smiles....hurting the one He was supposed to care for, help and teach....i know some subs just ask for their release from His collar...but to me that sollution is too simple...especially if there is a lot of time, effort and love invested in the relationship.

any other have any thoughts on that?

bad~

 

[AvaAdore]

Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

another thought comes to mind...what if the Master is the One betraying...smiles....hurting the one He was supposed to care for, help and teach....i know some subs just ask for their release from His collar...but to me that sollution is too simple...especially if there is a lot of time, effort and love invested in the relationship.

any other have any thoughts on that?

I have been in that situation in my current relationship. Though the relationship is not strictly D/s in the slightest, the betrayal happened in a BDSM context.

So this is what I have found to be helpful if you are trying to save the relationship: you talk, listen to each other, yell, get angry, talk some more, go for a walk, talk, spend some time apart, spend some time together, and did I mention talk?

 

[badlilthang]

Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

and did I mention talk?

nods....aye. So many sin in that way - instead of talking - they split up and lose something precious. I believe there is always a reason when something goes bad - and the blame is not often onesided...s...

thanks for answering...s...

bad~

 

[Richard49]

For a submissive to be punished
they need to be a submissive
or at lest a bottom
and not a wannbe
or an actor

 

[badlilthang]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

Does this mean the submissive always bends to your will to grow?

Of course, is that not the way of a submissive? To trust in the guidance of their Dom? To have their limits expanded?

My view of Mastering is my own.

i must say You intrigue me, Sir. They way You word Yourself - and also the care You obviously have for the ones in Your care. It is utterly refreshing to see that there are Masters like You out there - making it "safer" to submit...s...

I would be honored if You would take Your time to answer my little question about what i posted earlier:

"another thought comes to mind...what if the Master is the One betraying...smiles....hurting the one He was supposed to care for, help and teach....i know some subs just ask for their release from His collar...but to me that sollution is too simple...especially if there is a lot of time, effort and love invested in the relationship.

any other have any thoughts on that?"

smile and a wiggle

bad~

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: A wonderful thing a mirror it never lies

"what if the Master is the One betraying...smiles....hurting the one He was supposed to care for, help and teach....i know some subs just ask for their release from His collar...but to me that sollution is too simple...especially if there is a lot of time, effort and love invested in the relationship.

My answer would be always safety first.

Unfortunately, what you say is true. And you may not like the answer I give, but it also is equally true.

The dynamic of a D/s relationship is the Dominant lead, the submissive follow. If the Dominant goes over a cliff, well that's not a good thing.

Take for example a larger analogy, the people of a country are all subject to some extent by those who rule that country. If they decide to go to war, guess what...to war you shall go. On a simplier note, if a Dom/me is having a bad day, chances are so will you.

It is why a Dom/me should never take lightly their responsibilty of those in their care. You know as well as I do, that D/s relationships are built on trust. When the Dom/me, who is suppose to be in control, breaks that trust, everything is turned upside and is now out of control. Out of control is never a good place to be for either the Dominant or a submissive.

In reality, if a Dom/me cannot or will not first seek to be in control of themselves, then it dangerious for all involved for them to try to control another.

If a submissive is in danger, then returning the collar is not a simple solution, it is the only solution for safety sake. If we're talking about just a bad peice of weather in the relationship, then two people with common sense can realize that everyone makes mistakes or wrong choices, and can renew their commitment re-establish trust and move on.

Trust is not a double standard that applies one way to subs and another to a Dom/me. Trust is a truth that we all are subject to equally. submissives are afforded the opportunity to have their Dom/me's help in policing their behavor, however a Dom/me must police themselves or they aren't worth a spit in the bucket IMO.

The true strength of a Dom/me is not shown being to stubborn or having such a high ego they cannot admit when they fuck up or do something wrong. The true strength is shown by those who accept reponsibility and make it right. They are the ones in my book who have character, and build stronger bonds of trust over the long haul. Anyone can go merrily along when all is right in the world, it is when things go wrong and how we respond that seprates those with strength, and those who are just weak.

The most comforting thought any submissive could have, is knowing that weather through good or bad times, their Dom/me has the depth and strength of character to see it through.

 

[RJMasters]

After re-reading my post

I noticed that after re-reading my post to ensure I covered everything, I notice I missed a small but crucial point, which I think is important enough to make a quick follow up.

When I said:

The dynamic of a D/s relationship is the Dominant lead, the submissive follow. If the Dominant goes over a cliff, well that's not a good thing.

I also wanted to take that chance to say, how important it is for a submissive to TAKE TIME, when deciding to give their gift of submission to another. Much of the reason so many get hurt, is they are in to big of a damn hurry. They let their emotions throw caution out the window, and get drunk on the passion of the moment. Talk about waking up with a hang over.

Every sub should be aware of the dynamic of where the horse goes, the cart will follow. When you are looking at the potential of giving yourself to someone, make sure you don't look through rose colored stain glass windows, and wimsical romantic notions. Ask yourself if She/He is responsible, self controlled, and shows character that you can put your trust in. That requires some time to see them at their worst and best.

I am a sucker for old clieches(sp) especially when the truth of it really hits the hammer home....

Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

 

[badlilthang]

~s~

Thank You so much, Sir...for that very deep and fullfilling answer..s...

i agree wholeheartedly -

only fools rush in where angels fear to tread...s...

i am always taking my time when it comes to offer my submission, but there are a few frogs out there ~spits frogshair~ and it is sometimes easy to miss the Prince. *s*. ( am now mostly talking vt...rt is a whole new matter....real time a place i can see..feel...taste....and observe.....vt does not quite give the same gift)...s...

in the oh...10 years i have been online i have not trusted Many...and for a good reason. Many players out there...rt i have few but good friends i trust, and many people i know and talk to..and have fun with....vt the same. Basically - who i am rt...i am vt, too...s...and i submit the same way...s...

To me a D/s relation is built slowly - and step by step. One who wants me to kneel after 5 seconds and suck Him...does not quite get what i want...*L*...allthough a healthy bj is fun at times..~wiggles eyebrows playfully~.

I also agree with the part You say that a Dom also should be man enough to admit that He was wrong....it opens up to a deeper trust from His submissive ~ and she should see Him as a stronger man. It does take strength to admit a wrong...s...and it takes class to accept that from both sides...and be able to move beyond it....

when/if in danger - that is an entirely different matter....when i asked about betrayal....i was more thinking of lies....deceit....and things like that....if one is in danger, one has every right to walk away...and preferably run! ~s~

i have actually come across Doms..and i use Dom losely here...*******...that in their own eyes made no mistakes...no matter what they did. If rules where set..and they broke them.....they just said...I am the Dom...i am entitled to change the rules whenever I feel like it...i usually reacted with a ~ok...why set the rules in the first place, then...if the changes are not even negotiable..and the rules changes as You see fit~? How can a submissive possibly build a relationship in trust, then..s...and this is not as question per say..just an observation...*S*


Richard 49 said"For a submissive to be punished
they need to be a submissive
or at lest a bottom
and not a wannbe
or an actor"

i agree...but it takes a Dom/Master/Top to minister the punishment, too...in the true sense of the word...

It is easy to be abusive...it is a lot harder to Dominate...s...

bad~

 

[Betticus]

She does need to be a submissive or the punishment will not be felt or understood.

It truly hurts me to punish someone I care about and she will know that. After the first time she will know it to her core. If I have to punish her again it will be much more of an experience as she will know that the punishment itself is the smallest part.

For instance, if what she did affects me so deeply that I lose the ability to even spank her. That I don't even want to see her in front of me or speak to her. If I pack my shit and leave for the weekend and tell her that I want her to think about what she did and that we will talk about it when I get back but that I can't stand the sight of her reminding me if it.....

Yeah, I guess that she might as well pick up the whip and make me feel the pain that I have inside on my body as well. Then maybe she will know what she has actually done to me.

This is a really tough question when you really think about it.

 

[smoothbikini]

silence, for unknown reasons.

 

[LunarKitten]

With all this talk of punishment lately, what is the worst punishment for you? It may be physical or mental. If this has been discussed before, I apologize.

I will tell mine later.

I've been given two forms of punishment, should it ever come to that with Sir.

1) Stand in a corner and be ignored

2) Start over with a new lit name (He's also a member of lit)

 

[phyremaire]

Re: I am

beginning to think that the absolute worst punishment may have to be when the dominant breaks up with the sub, lets some time go by and THEN decides that the sub is NOW worthy to take back.

In the past year four women have shared with me or on this board that the roller coaster of emotions they feel is extremely hard and upsetting to say the least.

I only wish women would realize that these mind games are done by individuals who know very well what they are doing and why they are doing it.

have truer words ever been written?

is truer a word?

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: Re: I am

have truer words ever been written?

is truer a word?

Yes, "truer" in this sense is a word...

Not to mention, Fallon2 is very intelligent!!

 

[soapstar]

I think the worst punishment would be the end of the relationship.

In an erotic sense, its kind of fun to think about though.

 

[soapstar]

Doh. That came out all wrong. Im sure you know what I meant.

 

[sigsauerprinces]

the worst punishment i ever had from my Owner was being told "done a bit of thinking, and i'm sorry to say,its over. the one thing i cannot stand is a liar".

i'd lied to him, stupidly, because i wasnt used to being totally honest with anyone, especially myself, so how could i be totally honest with him? after ending it i begged him to talk to me and we did...we talked and talked, and during that time he let me know just how much my lying had hurt him, and that was worse than any physical punishment. knowing i'd hurt him when he is EVERYTHING to me, when i'd rather die that purposely cause him harm-it was horrible, i'll just leave it at that. he has used the silent treatment on me on occasion but the worst punishment was him ending it, and letting me know that i'd really hurt him.

luckily he took me back, after almost 24 hours straight of us talking and working things out, and i learned one of the biggest lessons i've ever learned in life-it is better to always be honest. of course some ppl cant handle that-ppl are so used to lies, white and otherwise, being used in so many situations, some ppl cant handle someone who's totally honest all teh time. but my Owner is totally honest and he taught me to be, and i'm a better person for it.

i dont even like to talk about that 24 hour period when i didnt belong to him anymore...it hurt more than i can put into words, more than any physical punishment could have.