Get more into BDSM

Joined
Aug 12, 2016
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So I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 19. We started going out with each other around 18 months ago and started having sex shortly after that. A few months ago I tried putting my hand on her throat and she enjoyed it. I squeezed and she enjoyed that too. I'm the first guy she's had sex with and she's extremely shy to the point that she doesn't even talk about sex unless I mention it and even then she has a minimal response. But when I asked her she has told me she enjoys her hair being pulled and being lightly choked. She seems like one of those girls who will turn out to be a superfreak in bed if I play my cards right. I'm a beginner to all this. Just need some guidance as to what to do next as I feel I can take it further than just light choking.

Thanks guys
 
1. CAREFUL WITH THE CHOKING!!! It does not take much pressure to crush a windpipe, and through bruising, the windpipe can swell hours later. "fake" breathplay, you could hold across her throat and press the jugular and carotid artery. It feels like she is being choked because of the lack of blood flow to the brain. Caution is necessary here as well. Also cover her mouth, pinch nose between the thumb and forefinger. A safeword (safeact?) could be she holds your arm, when you need to let go, she lets go.

2. there is a right way and all kinds of wrong ways to pull hair. fingers spread out slide hand, palm to the back of the head, up her neck in into the hair. Close hand. Squeezing pulls. moving the hand moves the head.

The best and easiest thing to try is spanking. Slap her ass lightly. Did she respond positively? Do it again. Harder. Did she respond positively? Later, rinse, repeat.

If you are going to try bondage, I recommend cuffs first. If you are mind set on rope, search "Cat's paw knot bdsm" and "Basic two Column tie" Safety note: keep sharp scissors near by. EMT shears are the best, because of the blunt end. Scissors, not a knife. If bottom's headspace goes wrong in a hurry, introducing a knife will only make it worse, and you could cut her. The two knots are good because as they pull, the knot does not tighten around the wrist, ankle, etc. Assuming her nails are not painted, do a capillary refill test. squeeze her fingernail, the nailbed will turn white. Let go. If it takes more than a second to turn back the original color, LOOSEN THE KNOT, NOW.

Play smart, when in doubt, err on the side of caution. Use safewords. I like green/yellow/red. Green is all good, yellow is bottom needs your attention about something, red is serious problem. My opinion, there are different schools of thought here, is that the safeword needs to be simple. If the bottom is well deep into subspace, she will have a hard enough time remembering red. something like palindromic will never come to mind.

This is by no means an end-all of safety. Please be safe. use your brain.
 
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