Giving up on authoring here

[Weird Harold]

and it has to be over 600 words.

I thought it had to be over 750 words.

Otherwise, I agree with everything you said.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I thought it had to be over 750 words.

Otherwise, I agree with everything you said.

I will defer to you, as you are much more wise than I

 

[Weird Harold]

I will defer to you, as you are much more wise than I

Actually you made me go look to maintian my reputation:

4. We do not currently accept submissions under 750 words.

(as C&P from the submission guidelines.)

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Mr Harold,
I've seen your AV a hundred times, but it always cracks me up.
MG

 

[Guest]

Dear Mr Harold,
I've seen your AV a hundred times, but it always cracks me up.

Yeah, babe, it shows.
Perdita

 

[Why]

Just wondered why waste energy getting ratty over a rejection?

It I did that I would be in a padded cell by now (Ok I know only another 10 mins of my turn left on the inmates' computer)

Rejection in the name, writing is the game. Pull the gut in sit down and go through it again. Remove anything that is against the "rules" or submission guidelines and anything close for that matter. Bite the bullet if you want to get it on the site here if not go elsewhere. Sorry to be sharp, but moaning gets you nowhere, been there done it, realised how foolish and silly it is.

 

[Laetor]

flamebait follows

Sorry, Skin, the best way I know to further irritate you is to refuse to rise to the challenge. Your statements go unaddressed. You win! Pat yourself on the back, you deserve it.

To others, thanks for the offers of help. I have submitted it to some guy who privately emailed me to offer his assistance, and hopefully that will help my situation.

I suppose my vitriol would not have been as ascerbic and vituperous (ok, I'll stop) had I not personally seen stories that defied any and all of the aesthetic rules Laurel has set up (now that I know she's pretty much personally responsible for all the editing).

Seriously, some of the stories out there could not have been written by English speakers. No articles, pronouns blatantly misused, punctuation totally missing. I can provide examples if people wish, but my suspicion is that these stories have been around a very long time, and were grandfathered as it were under a more...relaxed regime, shall we say? Who knows.

It just makes me steamed to have to revisit the well for three or four additional buckets of water when I see these other authors getting aesthetic garbage accepted. I'm one of those weird "rules should apply to all" people. Egalitarian like 'dat.

-Laetor

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

I know, Laetor. The infinite "talking monkeys" always manage to slip a few through the cracks, posessed as they are of infinite typewriters- but on their way to reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare, we have to deal with the plethora of misfires...

Case in point- I got my first, inaugural semi-negative feedback today *laugh*. A man informed me that he gave my story a 4, that it "could have been a real hard-on producer" but that he felt confused by pronoun agreement, since both of the participants in my lesbian scene were female.

 

[KillerMuffin]

A good number of the stories aren't written by English speakers. Indians from India have discovered a unique joy in mangling the language in these parts.

To be fair, the crack down on convention is fairly recent so most of the archives were accepted under laxer circumstances.

The intent isn't to stifle writers in the least; the intent is to make the reader's experience as enjoyable as possible. Following grammatical, punctuation, and formatting convention helps the reader.

I'm sure we've all experienced that ourselves.

Seriously, if you can't get this thing figured out, let me know and I'll be glad to help you.

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Originally posted by MlledeLaPlumeBleu
Case in point- I got my first, inaugural semi-negative feedback today *laugh*. A man informed me that he gave my story a 4, that it "could have been a real hard-on producer" but that he felt confused by pronoun agreement, since both of the participants in my lesbian scene were female.

A good point. For better clarity and less ambiguity, it is better in lesbian scenes if one of the characters is male.

I don't do lesbian myself, but perhaps I ought to try it.

GL

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

My point exactly! Or better yet, both- wait, oh dear, now I've gone and muddled pronouns again! Well, better stick to proper nouns....

"Gary ran his callused thumb over Dwight's dermic spunk-spout and Dwight moaned something about Mah Jong as Dwight enjoyed himself throughly while Gary smiled, watching Dwight..."

 

[KillerMuffin]

*chortle*

That was good, Mlle.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Thanks ever...

By the way, "Lancie Pants" made me howl. I was expecting sort of an E.M. Forster lampoon (don't ask me why) and almost dampened my trou when I actually read it...

and yet...I was strangely enthralled by Lancie's potent sexuality. Maybe it really *is* a solar panel for a sex machine....

 

[Couture]

I'm willing to be it's not your use of pronouns. It's more than likely some formatting issue, story length, or underage participants.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Um, what are you talking about Couture? The reader who rated my story specifically said he was "confused" [read: threatened, newly homosexually aroused, frightened) by the potent ambiguity of my pronouns.

Why in the world would that be some kind of enigmatic semaphore for my formatting, the age of my protagonists or the length of my story?

 

[BardsLady]

Negative feedback.

What's really funny with my stuff is that all of my feedback has been positive for my story, and my poetry. I had one private person go look at my story and read it.

Granted, this is the first story I've ever written. I diddnt have an editor at the time.

She came back with: If it wasnt YOUR story, I would have stopped reading it after the first two paragraphs. Because it's YOUR story, I read it all the way though."

Aparently the thing was choppy and had some spelling errors. Hopefully that's not the case with the other chapters I'm going to be submitting.

Here's a question:

Have you ever noticed that, in writing your stories, each one gets progressivly longer than the very first one you wrote?

I've noticed the file sizes on mine growing with each story.

BardsLady

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . Here's a question:

Have you ever noticed that, in writing your stories, each one gets progressivly longer than the very first one you wrote?
I've noticed the file sizes on mine growing with each story.
. . .

BardsLady,

Most professional writers first create an outline of the plot. Then, they break it into accessible bits, and assign a uniform length to each chapter. Finally, they write their story to the outline.

Here writers write up to, and through, the intercourse. Then, they stop, to allow their reader to wipe up after himself.

The first chapter, when their hero does it in bed, is fairly straightforward and quick.

By the time the twentieth chapter is reached, where the couple does it in the scaffolding inside the Sistine Chapel, the writer requires somewhat more verbiage to set up the scene.

On the other hand, perhaps I’m just a bitter old man.

 

[snooper]

On the other hand, perhaps I’m just a bitter old man.

No, devastatingly accurate. Why don't you pot this in the How To section to tell all those who want to write for money what they need to do to have any chance?