Guidance for a wandering soul...?

[SubKekiLee]

Hi Cheeky Boots and all others who have posted in here..

I am going to agree with Velvet... and say Ive known for years even when I was little that I was submissive... Now I didnt know the terminology for it , but I do know I was always looking for the reward or the smile on someones face when I did something for someone... I didnt know it had to do with something sexual of course at a young age but as my life progressed I realized I was a VERY strong assertive person on the outside but I loved the praise and to see someone smile and I did things to get that reward... I obeyed to see the smile on someones face... Fast forward to when I was 15 years old , I heard some kinky sex happening in my house so I asked.. and I got the told the truth.... there is a thin line between pleasure and pain.... hence why I love being a sub... I have the most caring understanding Sir now I could ever ask for and I adore him from head to toe and I wouldnt trade him in for anything the journey he has me on is wonderful and I love every second of it... I have lots to explore and he teaches me new and different things every day... He has opened my eyes to a new and different world and without him Id be lost.. I am the lucky one.... Enjoy your journey be proud of who you are.. and never look back...

 

[spndrft]

I think I need help figuring some things out. Some experienced perspective would be incredibly welcome!

Ok, I’m 22 and not sexually active (haha, lame right? But it’s for moral reasons, not lack of offers... ) but I am VERY interested in BDSM. First of all, is that even possible, or am I fooling myself? Is it reasonable to be bored by a vanilla relationship, before I’ve been in one?

Makes sense to me. I knew I was bi before ever touching anyone. How does a hetero vanilla person know that's what they are before having sex? But they do, and we all just accept that as reasonable. Course, it's a little unfair cuz that's what society expects...

As far as the BDSM stuff... on reflection it's always been there - I used to love getting tied up as a kid and trying to get out... I have always been more drawn to BDSM imagery and elements of film, etc.

In other areas of my life I have also had those sort of pre-experience revelations... I knew I wanted a serious career change (fine arts to hard sciences) long before I had the experience to prove that it was the right choice... I just knew it to be true, and once I had come to that realization it was like a light switch had been flipped and I just made more sense to me. Sometime you just *know* something about yourself - and that's ok. Trust it, it'll usually pay off.

And my wants/needs seem to be at odds with themselves. I have a very strong/cynical/overpowering personality. I’m always the one making sure people do things right, and have an uncanny ability to get my way. But the thought of dominating some poor submissive man in the bedroom (or wherever) sounds entirely unappealing. I don’t understand this internal contradiction.

My subby side totally relates - out in the real world I have a very strong leadership role with tons of responsibility and can be very intimidating to others. Sometimes I just need to shed all that "in the bedroom." Sometimes it just happens... if he starts touching me first and that sub switch flips... I turn to putty and couldn't take over if i wanted to.. and damn i don't want to.

What REALLY makes me hot is the thought of being tied and gagged and beaten and bossed around and completely ravaged. Yet because of my independent, powerful personality, I attract simpering little boys who, quite frankly, disgust me. And the “manly” men are not attracted to me because they’re intimidated. (Their words, not mine). Are there certain everyday personality traits that Doms (in general) would find intriguing? Are there ways I could spot Dom-types out in the wide world? Or am I a lost cause?

Are there any Munches in your area? Might be a good chance to meet up with people and see it for yourself