Guy who raped/tortured woman had Gor books

[Chiara_searches]

He isn't a member of the BDSM community. There are always outriders, always people who have invented their own game.

So how does one find "safe" BDSM communities?

I was trying to think of an OP for a new thread asking something along this line. How do newbies find safe communities in major metropolitan areas? I doubt I will ever be "out" enough myself to attend anything; but I know there are other new people on the boards that might benefit from suggestions in response to this question.

 

[midwestyankee]

So how does one find "safe" BDSM communities?

I was trying to think of an OP for a new thread asking something along this line. How do newbies find safe communities in major metropolitan areas? I doubt I will ever be "out" enough myself to attend anything; but I know there are other new people on the boards that might benefit from suggestions in response to this question.

Communities are generally pretty safe as their members generally have common vested interests in keeping the communities alive.

Individuals, on the other hand, are a whole 'nother story. But you can find equally dangerous people in almost any group.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So how does one find "safe" BDSM communities?

I was trying to think of an OP for a new thread asking something along this line. How do newbies find safe communities in major metropolitan areas? I doubt I will ever be "out" enough myself to attend anything; but I know there are other new people on the boards that might benefit from suggestions in response to this question.

Midwestyankee is correct, communities are, generally more safer. If you've met up with an individual who has never made contact with their local community-- you just might, possibly, be looking at trouble, either via malice or uneducation.

Trust me on this one; The first THIRTY YEARS of my active desire for BDSM was all self-invented stuff without much input from anyone who knew. And since I am a relatively cautious person who likes all my bits in place, it meant that I declined a lot of opportunities because I couldn't be sure of my safety. Very frustrating and saddening and lonely-making.

This question comes up all the time. And my answer is that google is every newbie's friend. And so is fetlife, and other social networking sites of that nature.

Guys who pick you up off the street? Nuh-uh.

 

[graceanne]

So how does one find "safe" BDSM communities?

I was trying to think of an OP for a new thread asking something along this line. How do newbies find safe communities in major metropolitan areas? I doubt I will ever be "out" enough myself to attend anything; but I know there are other new people on the boards that might benefit from suggestions in response to this question.

Safety and Dating

If you had 10 rules of safely meeting

Question

 

[Marquis]

To paraphrase the NRA:

BDSM doesn't rape people.

Rapists rape people.

 

[Kajira Callista]

To paraphrase the NRA:

BDSM doesn't rape people.

Rapists rape people.

I u

 

[autoplot]

Well at least they didn't find any Dungeons & Dragons books -- those people are the real enemy!

 

[autoplot]

ha ha. veeery funny.

Lifelong gamer here, just playin' around.

 

[4bidnfruit]

The man was in his 60’s and he had a torture room. Perhaps this could be some wannabe but he has probably played a few times through the years. He broke the rules and now he was never part of the bdsm community? There are bdsm stories that make his work seem like child’s play. I don’t think I am wording this correctly but I’m baffled as to why he was not part of the bdsm world. There are bad people in every organization/group/community.

When I read this, I figured Gor was bdsm on a different level than most but according to wiki it is different. I wonder if two slaves in the different’ worlds would recognize a difference.

It doesn’t matter who associates the crime with bdsm. It could be the sadist mother fucker that has nothing to do with the crime but talks in a bar about “riding that bitch like a fucking horse”, the freak that says, “I’ve been reading these books about sexual gratification”, or the vanilla cop that ask, “was she into s&m”. It doesn’t matter where it comes from; it is the path to justifying violence. I don’t believe anyone that has experienced this shit wants to understand it by justification and I can guarantee you that the kinksters jump on this shit just as quick and do just as much damage as the vanillas.

but~ this is just a vanilla's opinion.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, he was surely part of the BDSM world-- fucked up assholes who don't respect limits have always been part of the BDSM world.
A community is a group of people who have contact with each other, who interact. He doesn't seem to have had any contact with the community, although it could turn out that he has.

Communities are the BDSM world's answer for people like him. There was a case in New York where this male top was taking guys home and really messing them up. He would tell them that they couldn't touch him, he was too important a man in the city. But-- some of the guys he battered were social types, and had support from the BDSM community and were able to face the very difficult process of admitting to their sexuality in order to press charges against the guy. He wasn't targeting lone victims, he made the mistake of not knowing that there was a community.

Gorean style D/s as ALllll about protocol. There are a hundred and umpty phrases, positions, attitudes, for slaves and masters to adopt in relation to each other. Very formal.

 

[4bidnfruit]

Oh, he was surely part of the BDSM world-- fucked up assholes who don't respect limits have always been part of the BDSM world.
A community is a group of people who have contact with each other, who interact. He doesn't seem to have had any contact with the community, although it could turn out that he has.

Communities are the BDSM world's answer for people like him. There was a case in New York where this male top was taking guys home and really messing them up. He would tell them that they couldn't touch him, he was too important a man in the city. But-- some of the guys he battered were social types, and had support from the BDSM community and were able to face the very difficult process of admitting to their sexuality in order to press charges against the guy. He wasn't targeting lone victims, he made the mistake of not knowing that there was a community.

Gorean style D/s as ALllll about protocol. There are a hundred and umpty phrases, positions, attitudes, for slaves and masters to adopt in relation to each other. Very formal.

Duh~ I feel like an idiot. I was looking at it in a general sense. I considered people in this forum part of the community but it’s just the online community and not the BDSM community.

This helped clear up something else as well. I understood the concept of munches for newbies but I wasn’t grasping the big picture.

Thank you Stella.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're welcome 4Bidnfruit

Also, you need to remember that there is no "THE" BDSM community. There is far more communication around the globe these days thanks to the internet, and the good ideas and safety warnings reach a wider range of folks-- also thanks to the internet.

And yannoo... sex is sex.

But there are leathermen who never go near the hetero groups and vice versa. There are leather dykes. There are lesbians who never have heard of "leather" except in their Pradas. And different groups of people who have gotten together-- mostly only because they happen to be nearby geographically-- have evolved different cultures within their groups-- some of which frankly can be pretty abusive. Some of those groups have suddenly gotten a lot of outside input-- thanks, once more, to the internet."What do you mean, subs shouldn't have to obey any Dom that snaps a finger at them?"

 

[Kajira Callista]

You're welcome 4Bidnfruit

Also, you need to remember that there is no "THE" BDSM community. There is far more communication around the globe these days thanks to the internet, and the good ideas and safety warnings reach a wider range of folks-- also thanks to the internet.

And yannoo... sex is sex.

But there are leathermen who never go near the hetero groups and vice versa. There are leather dykes. There are lesbians who never have heard of "leather" except in their Pradas. And different groups of people who have gotten together-- mostly only because they happen to be nearby geographically-- have evolved different cultures within their groups-- some of which frankly can be pretty abusive. Some of those groups have suddenly gotten a lot of outside input-- thanks, once more, to the internet."What do you mean, subs shouldn't have to obey any Dom that snaps a finger at them?"

We shouldn't?

 

[Stella_Omega]

We shouldn't?

You didn't get the Sub's Handbook fifth edition did you...

You still have the one with the lavender cover. The latest edition is reddish-puce.

I'll have the Sub Oversight Office ship one out tomorrow... terribly sorry for the oversight....

 

[Kajira Callista]

You didn't get the Sub's Handbook fifth edition did you...

You still have the one with the lavender cover. The latest edition is reddish-puce.

I'll have the Sub Oversight Office ship one out tomorrow... terribly sorry for the oversight....

*giggles* I could just imagine daddys face when the finger snaps and i look at him with my arms crossed and say " NO..the new edition says i shouldnt have to obey you and Uncle J anymore!" Mmmmm that's gonna be one bruised ass

 

[Stella_Omega]

*giggles* I could just imagine daddys face when the finger snaps and i look at him with my arms crossed and say " NO..the new edition says i shouldnt have to obey you and Uncle J anymore!" Mmmmm that's gonna be one bruised ass

I should say so!

Better re-read that chapter, baby. It doesn't say YOUR particular Dom/s, it says "Any old Dom."

Reading comprehension much?

 

[Kajira Callista]

I should say so!

Better re-read that chapter, baby. It doesn't say YOUR particular Dom/s, it says "Any old Dom."

Reading comprehension much?

Well in my relationship/s it could very well be any old dom at any old time and if his fingers snapped i would be expected to do as he wanted...w/o question. That sub book needs another update...I'm confused and would never wanna be thought of as a brat girl * smiles all sweet and innocent n stuff*

 

[Stella_Omega]

So, you have many particular Doms.

 

[Kajira Callista]

So, you have many particular Doms.

*giggles and nods*

 

[Stella_Omega]

*giggles and nods*

In the words of Betty Boop, "Whatta lucky goil!"
(Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

 

[Kajira Callista]

In the words of Betty Boop, "Whatta lucky goil!"
(Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

mostly

 

[Stella_Omega]

mostly

So it isn't always giggles, huh?

 

[DVS]

I haven't heard much about this, and maybe I should know, before posting. But, I've never been much into this Gor thing. It all started because of a series of books, anyway. I guess there could be a lifestyle based on the new version of Star Trek, too. People will be people and they find their inspiration from different places.

I have my own version of BDSM and it doesn't completely follow anybody else's version. I think that's the way most people "in the lifestyle" are. And I think that's how most people are. It's just like people in general. If we were all cookie cutter personalities, wouldn't this be a boring world? You'd play with one person and know that every other person would be the very same, no exceptions. I think that's how I classify Gor. One set of rules that everybody follows and no deviation allowed. It's OK for some, and I understand that, but I like to toot my own horn. I'm that way in everything, not just my sex life.

Oh, and I don't think this guy would have to be part of the BDSM lifestyle. But, to lure potential victims into his space, wouldn't he have to have something to lure them into? What good self respecting Dom doesn't have some kind of Dom abode to prove he's legit? At least a big heavy bag full of toys would be necessary.

If I could afford it, space wise, I'd love to have a designated room for my fun. That place in my basement, just to the right of the work bench, behind the furnace does lose some of the atmosphere, when the furnace kicks on and I can't hear her whimpers because furnace is too loud. But, just because he had a room...does that make him a Dom? I'd guess he has a dick too, but does that really make him a man? OK, maybe that's a bad analogy...

 

[DVS]

Maybe I did it backwards, but I just read the story. Did anybody happen to read some of the comments? It just goes to show you how totally naive people are in this world of ours. I've added just a couple below, to give you all an idea of the type of people who were commenting.

You hear stories like this and it makes your shutter. But what really gets to me is thinking about the ones who don't get away, the guys who are smarter and haven't been caught yet.
The internet is convenient and entertaining, but one thing it contributes to society is it gives people with unhealthy inclinations a place to feed their obsessions and make them more insatiable and twisted until the fantasy is no longer enough.
We have an imagination and it's wonderful, but a healthy person needs to live in reality. And the reality is that other people are not objects to be used for our pleasure or to live out our fantasies. People who do things like this are trying to fill a desperate need that these acts will never fill. It only leaves them feeling empty afterward, and all they know is to go back to the same fantasy. The world we live in can be pretty horrific.This person is totally naive. The bold part of the comment is what I'm talking about. It leaves them feeling empty afterward? Actually, I'm usually rather satisfied, myself, as is my "victim", if I did my part with the expected skill.

And all they know is to go back to the same fantasy? Of course we do! It's called a fantasy...a sexual fantasy! This person makes it seem like it's some curse we live with and we're somehow addicted to seeking out defenseless women to capture and torture.

Oh, there are some out there like that. This guy seems to be one and BTK is a recent one that comes to mind. He got off on bondage and torture and death. That's where the name came from...Bind, Torture, Kill. He masturbated and ejaculated on a 12 year old girl's legs as he hanged her, in her family's basement...her slow suffocation aroused the monster in him. And he had just killed her mother, father and brother minutes before.

Yes, there are people who use the BDSM way of life as a means to their sexual gratification and they sometimes result in death. We have to realize that those people are out there. We have to understand that a large portion of the vanilla world isn't going to be able to see the difference in our SS&C and RACK "rules of the game" and monsters like BTK.

That was a great idea taking a picture of his car. Working girls have to protect themselves and this is a good way to record the people that may harm them. They all should take pictures of all the encounters. This could be a real lifesaver.DUH! This is one of the basic rules for someone to use in an encounter with a stranger or someone you haven't ever played with before. It amazes me that they think this girl was the first one to ever think of this.

 

[Kajira Callista]

So it isn't always giggles, huh?

nope *shrug*