help need advice on engagement ....

[SweetErika]

1/2 a carat is really small for an engagment ring...i don't want to sound "snotty" but for an engagement ring it should be at least a carat or a bit bigger..and might I suggest Tiffanys they can help you ..they are a reputable company..congrats and good luck....

I respect the fact that you have an opinion, but it strikes me as absurd. Most people can't afford a semi-good quality 1+ carat diamond in the first place, and when it comes down to it, it's just a stone! Apart from the thought, jewelry says absolutely nothing about the love you share or the quality of the relationship. It's sad to think material goods are a higher priority than meaning for some people.

Do the best you can with what you have, and don't worry about rediculous things like size, Tryp79. She's going to love it because she loves you and knows how much time and effort the selection took. Reasonable people would rather start their lives together with a positive balance in their bank account anyway.

 

[Lynxie]

1/2 a carat is really small for an engagment ring...i don't want to sound "snotty" but for an engagement ring it should be at least a carat or a bit bigger..and might I suggest Tiffanys they can help you ..they are a reputable company..congrats and good luck....

Tiffany's may be a reputable company, but unless you're considerably well-off (and this is an understatement, believe me), there's no way you're going to afford one of their engagement rings. The three-stone rings start at over $4700!

And size doesn't really matter. You probably don't want a tiny chip of a diamond, but I certainly don't think you must have at least one carat. Bigger isn't always better, even when it comes to diamonds. Besides, some of the larger solitary stones look ridiculously gaudy - I'd rather have a beautiful ring that was proportional to the size of my finger/hand. I really don't think I'd be happy with a ring that stuck up off my finger half an inch or more - it just wouldn't be practical.

Based on prices I saw a few months ago when I was shopping for my wedding ring, $1500 should get you a really nice, good quality 3-stone ring for your beloved. You just need to shop around until you find the right place.

 

[ReadyOne]

If you go down to the mall, beware! Their main trade is naive young people who can be pressured into buying. It doesn't matter too much what they buy as it's all VERY high profit.

THe last time I did some shopping, I ended up at Nebraska Diamond Mart (lived in that state then). They were up several floors in an office building downtown, and encouraged us to select a setting seperate from a stone.

The proce dofference between them and the mall jewelers was well over 1/3 less.

 

[DLL]

)

Originally posted by SweetErika
I respect the fact that you have an opinion, but it strikes me as absurd. Most people can't afford a semi-good quality 1+ carat diamond in the first place, and when it comes down to it, it's just a stone! Apart from the thought, jewelry says absolutely nothing about the love you share or the quality of the relationship. It's sad to think material goods are a higher priority than meaning for some people.

Do the best you can with what you have, and don't worry about rediculous things like size, Tryp79. She's going to love it because she loves you and knows how much time and effort the selection took. Reasonable people would rather start their lives together with a positive balance in their bank account anyway.

well i dont know what you mean by most people...All my friends and myself have received over a carat it was something I thought was the norm. for an engagment ring I wasn't meaning to sound pretentious by saying that.And I agree with you its not the size of the ring..and I am quite a reasonable person...I certainly didnt mean to imply size matters(at least not in a diamond

 

[Silver Sable]

Bah society and fake rituals. People today are so fucking caught up in the keeping up with the whoevers... women are so damn competitve over every dumb thing... no matter what kind of rock you get her it won't be as big or as perfect as someone else's and somewhere along the line one of her girlfriends will outdo her...

The diamond engagement ring was started about 100 years ago by Tiffany and Co. It isn't even a longtime tradition.

Dude, I hate to tell you this, but on top of an engagement ring she will want to set a date and start getting out wedding books and whatnot. You'll have to buy the actual wedding ring too which is also pretty damn expensive. Society has built up the modern wedding into something people take out a second mortgage to pay for.

I got married to my high school sweetheart of 6 years and that marriage lasted only 4 years. I was too young and we grew apart. All that is left is the ring and I can't even sell it for much. It has a great stone in it and I had it custom made, but I can't sell it for shit.

Luckily I'm way out of my social hell and I just don't care what people think. I like what I like. My new husband (married last Halloween) and I got abstract celtic matchign bands, and there was no engagement ring. He and I are totally unique in what we do and what we like and society be damned.

Anyway... I'll stop ranting. I'm happy for you if you think you are really ready and you want to pop the question. Just be prepared and don't get caught up in the excitement. Marriage is much more than just the wedding and no matter how fairytale you might think, even modern Cinderellas have to deal with reality. I would get something simple and sentimental... like a grandmother's ring or something antique... it is much nicer to show your friends something they have never seen before and could not purchase themselves for all the money in the world.

 

[SweetErika]

)

well i dont know what you mean by most people...All my friends and myself have received over a carat it was something I thought was the norm. for an engagment ring I wasn't meaning to sound pretentious by saying that.And I agree with you its not the size of the ring..and I am quite a reasonable person...I certainly didnt mean to imply size matters(at least not in a diamond

I suppose it is the norm for people who have $3000+ to spend on the stone alone. But most engagement-age people have neither the money nor the inclination to buy something that big. For me, a .26 carat, very high quality stone looks perfect (even on a not-so-slim finger), will be worn forever, and the thousands we saved is going towards a down payment on our first house.

This is an excellent, common-sense resource (take note of the part that says it's important to make sure the stone has been independently appraised and certified): http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html

 

[Lynxie]

I suppose it is the norm for people who have $3000+ to spend on the stone alone. But most engagement-age people have neither the money nor the inclination to buy something that big. For me, a .26 carat, very high quality stone looks perfect (even on a not-so-slim finger), will be worn forever, and the thousands we saved is going towards a down payment on our first house.

This is an excellent, common-sense resource (take note of the part that says it's important to make sure the stone has been independently appraised and certified): http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html

Good, practical thinking Erika! My hubby and I cut back on our engagement/wedding expenses as well, and we're hoping to start applying for mortages as soon as this week

 

[ReadyOne]

Oh... Don't buy a "perfect" rock (unless you plan on keeping it in the bank vault).

After you wear it a while, it will probably pick up very small scratches, etc. which will downgrade its perfect rating and therefore its worth.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Lynxie
Good, practical thinking Erika! My hubby and I cut back on our engagement/wedding expenses as well, and we're hoping to start applying for mortages as soon as this week

thats very cool..I guess when I was engaged (a million years ago) my parents paid for our engagement party and my only thoughts were on the ring and my college graduation...I never realized that couples today have to share the expenses of these things..It was something I never thought about until seeing the posts here..I was lucky enough to have my parents there to support me through college and very fortunate to have them pay for an engagement party and my wedding which helped in my career and setting up where I live to this day....
i have such respect for you all that work togetherto achieve such wonderful goals....

lots of love

 

[pplwatching]

Oh... Don't buy a "perfect" rock (unless you plan on keeping it in the bank vault).

After you wear it a while, it will probably pick up very small scratches, etc. which will downgrade its perfect rating and therefore its worth.

Okay, so I'm ignorant. I always heard that the only thing that could scratch a diamond was another diamond (but I've never asked a jewler!).

On the topic at hand, when I got engaged 10 years ago I was making $30k/yr. I didn't want to gamble on an engagement ring that I couldn't afford and that she wouldn't like, so I asked her to come engagement ring shopping with me *after* I asked her to marry me. She was thrilled. My sweetie and I made a huge production of driving everywhere to learn everything that we could about diamonds. After each store we compared mental notes about how much we felt like we could trust the salesperson there. Then we decided where we would buy from, how much we could afford given that we'd be living on my salary while she finished her degree, and what kind of setting she wanted. We got something in the less-than-perfect 1/2 carat range.

We have since upgraded the setting, but the original stone is now a part of a 3 stone arrangement that we could afford when we were both working. She got more of what she wanted by waiting and helping to pitch in for it.

Good luck and congratulations!

 

[ReadyOne]

Diamonds have cleavage planes where they will flake. Diamond cutting is exploiting these places to flake out a stone with certain angles -- the thing diamond cutters had to work out is how to use the angles that the diamond will cleave at to form shapes that reflect well.

So, you can tap a diamond at the correct angle with not too much force and flake off a little sliver, especially at an edge. You might not notice it unless you looked with a small magnifier or felt a nick with your finger nail.

But if you just want to gouge one, then you need something about as hard you can use in a brute force manor. Putting an arbitrary scratch in a diamond takes something like another diamond (or silicon carbide, etc.)

 

[Halo_n_horns]

I really can't advise you on the ring thing, but the proposal...

When I proposed there were fireworks, confetti, a hell of a lot of balloons and a massive crowd of people cheering while I was on bended knee.

Yup. It was at the stroke of midnight on new Year's Eve and we were downtown.

It actually turned out very romantic. She cried tears of happiness.

Too bad this just went by a month ago...

 

[Cheyenne]

4. The only way she'll know the difference between white gold and platinum is if you or a jeweler tells her...or if she looks on the inside of the band where it says 18K...but other than that...it's practically impossible to tell. Again, my suggestion with that is to know what she likes....does she actaully like white gold? or is she a yellow gold kind of girl. Diamonds do tend to look better in white gold, more brilliant, bigger, etc, but if she prefers yellow over white then I would go with what she likes.

That would be incorrect. Platinum is a completely different color- whiter than white gold. White gold isn't really white- it is yellow gold with a coating over it that will wear off and have to be replaced.

 

[Lynxie]

That would be incorrect. Platinum is a completely different color- whiter than white gold. White gold isn't really white- it is yellow gold with a coating over it that will wear off and have to be replaced.

Actually, white gold is created from yellow gold by incorporating either nickel or palladium to the alloy to achieve a white color. It is the same color throughout, unless you've gotten a cheaply made ripoff.

My wedding and engagement rings are white gold and platinum respectively. I wear them both together, and it's impossible to tell any difference in color.

 

[Cheyenne]

Actually, white gold is created from yellow gold by incorporating either nickel or palladium to the alloy to achieve a white color. It is the same color throughout, unless you've gotten a cheaply made ripoff.

My wedding and engagement rings are white gold and platinum respectively. I wear them both together, and it's impossible to tell any difference in color.

It is rhodium that makes the white gold look white. When it wears off, you'll need to get it recoated to keep the white color that is natural to platinum. And it is not impossible to tell the difference between the two.

One of many sites to explain in simple terms:

http://gilletts.com.au/information.php?info_id=13

"When white gold rings are new they are coated with another white metal called Rhodium. Rhodium is a metal very similar to platinum and Rhodium shares many of the properties of platinum including its white color.

The rhodium plating is used to make the white gold look more white. The natural color of white gold is actually a light grey color. The Rhodium is very white and very hard, but it does wear away eventually. To keep a white gold ring looking its best it should be re-rhodium plated approximately each 12 to 18 months. Most local jewelers are able to rhodium plate jewelry for a cost effective price."

 

[Cheyenne]

Is platinum the same as white gold?

No, it is quite different. During World War II, the U.S. government prohibited platinum use in non-military applications, including jewelry. Because of strong consumer preference for platinum's pure white luster, white gold was substituted in platinum's absence. To create white gold, yellow gold is alloyed with other metals to achieve a white look. However, platinum is white to begin with and maintains its white luster permanently. Its purity, strength, rarity, durability and naturally rich, white color make it the best choice.


http://www.jewelers.org:8080/ja_consumer/platinum.html