Help please.

[wildsweetone]

WSO-

Vidalias are huge sweet onions that are SUPPOSED to be from a certan part of Georgia. Vidalia county However, a few years ago, laws were passed that increased the area for which the onions be grown and still be called Vidalia. They have a world wide reputation, (I thought), for being sweet as an apple to eat. But, the increased area doesnt always mean they are still good vidalias, sometimes they are smaller, not as sweet . In my opinion, just having a vidalia sticker doesnt make it a vidalia...Anna, is that kinda where you were going with the onion/apple idea?


by the way, I too love the poem. Regardles of apples/oinions, I like both, and would spit the stickers somewhere, probably not the sink cause Im the only one that cleans anything around here...I guess mine woudl go in the trash can...and soince you put it that the stickers are a defiant thing, yeah, you cant lose that.... damn, see? This is why I dont participate in the discussion circles and stuff..I tend to agree with everyone and that makes me no use to anyone...

;

love ya like an onion, baby

just because i've never heard of them doesn't mean they don't exist Maria.

us kiwis grow our own onions here. we have great dirt. lol

thanks for the explanation!

 

[annaswirls]

Vidalia onions are my favorite raw. I heard that there was some scandal with what can be called Vidalia. That is why I added the "they are not even in season" like- I know these are not the real fucking thing anyway....

you crack me up with your explanation, reading you is always such a pleasure, even when giving onion lessons.

maybe I will change the title to
I spit stickers in the sink

WSO-

Vidalias are huge sweet onions that are SUPPOSED to be from a certan part of Georgia. Vidalia county However, a few years ago, laws were passed that increased the area for which the onions be grown and still be called Vidalia. They have a world wide reputation, (I thought), for being sweet as an apple to eat. But, the increased area doesnt always mean they are still good vidalias, sometimes they are smaller, not as sweet . In my opinion, just having a vidalia sticker doesnt make it a vidalia...Anna, is that kinda where you were going with the onion/apple idea?


by the way, I too love the poem. Regardles of apples/oinions, I like both, and would spit the stickers somewhere, probably not the sink cause Im the only one that cleans anything around here...I guess mine woudl go in the trash can...and soince you put it that the stickers are a defiant thing, yeah, you cant lose that.... damn, see? This is why I dont participate in the discussion circles and stuff..I tend to agree with everyone and that makes me no use to anyone...

;

love ya like an onion, baby

 

[sandspike]

Chop

I know this doesn't sound like me but loose the lines and rhyme. The meat of
the poem is too serious for the last line. Might as well let both line go.

 

[ishtat]

!!

I think that Eve's right. At least the editors were right to be iffy about the ending-but their prescription wasn't good enough.

 

[Liar]

As much as I like the flow of the ending as it is... doesn't the very last line's stickers introduce a new theme? It was names versus numbers, bar codes versus Vidalia. Stickers can say Vidalia too. So I don't see the dichotomy of them, and for me it lessens the effect of the poem.

 

[Maria2394]

Vidalia onions are my favorite raw. I heard that there was some scandal with what can be called Vidalia. That is why I added the "they are not even in season" like- I know these are not the real fucking thing anyway....

you crack me up with your explanation, reading you is always such a pleasure, even when giving onion lessons.

maybe I will change the title to
I spit stickers in the sink

THats what the scandal was about, sweet Anna new "land" assigned to the onion growers who werent really part of the sweet dirt, wante dpart of the sweet loot, and they got it..neighboring counties, heh.

Up here, we have a tomato controversy, Lexington tomatoes,. from the red dirt near the lake are waaaay better than ones grown anywhere else around here, but people will argue till they are blue in the face, sell their sand/compost maters and go BUY red dirt tomatoes and wont admit it.

I grow my own, in a special mix of mushroom compost and sand, and banana peels, dont laugh, it helps, (nitrogen in the soil), but it still doesnt make them as good as the ones that are grown just 9 miles to the northeast of me....

WSO, I know what you meant, they are real ,at least me and Anna know they are... and they dont last long, maybe a month and pooof, no Vidalias till next year, damn I want some roasted onions now...




maria


YOU crack me up too

 

[annaswirls]

oh my god I am more confused than when I started.

maybe I should put the stickers on a banana and hope my tomatoes are tastier because of it.



thanks y'all I am going to sleep on this

 

[anonamouse]

What do you think of this poem without the last two lines?

The poem was accepted in a journal I really respect and have tried for a while to get into. However, they requested permission to publish it without the last two lines. My heart is torn. I am pretty sure I am going to tell them, no, you can't change my poem, the last two lines are important! But I was hoping for some feedback. Courage. Or tell me they are right.

I voted (e)
I think you answered your own question. Did they give a reason, does their reason outweigh yours?
Here
Here
read again what jd4george said, read what 1201 said about punch lines.
and
Here

You are going to be faced with this, perhaps a little more than others. You have a out of the ordinary style.
The second question I have for you, do you wish to impart your poetry on this crowded marketplace, or do you wish to implant your poetry into the souls of your readers? What is the monetary value of your compromise?

I assume most online publications aim for an audience, for the most part that audience is linear and rather mediocre. My advice for anyone who is a deceptive writer would be to follow yourself only, be open to suggestions, just make sure their reasons are better than yours, it's not worth the chump change.
Respectfully yours - 1201

 

[annaswirls]

Funny thing, I took so long making the decision, they made it for me and thinking on this, of course, I made the decision by not getting back to them in time....

All in all I miss the spitting stickers in the sink, but the line, that one, will be put back.

I am just so happy to get in. I never thought I would. Thank you guys for your advice, it will come in hand in the future too.

Stirring

 

[annaswirls]

ahh what a helpful thread! Thanks WSO for finding it!

Bogus- I never gave my answer as to what I did.

You know the story about the donkey who starved to death, standing in front of two piles of hay, because he could not decide which on to eat first?

Well in this case, I did nothing, did not answer, so they (Stirrings) published it with the lines chopped off before I had a chance to make up my damn mind

AND Lily took it with the lines and another edit.

I had to send it out again with the spitting stickers in the sink

Thanks again, y'all are awesome for helping a poor girl out