How can you really not like someone but still have sexual thoughts about them?

A person's voice alone can be a boner killer. If they are talking nonsense, I have to runaway as fast as I can regardless of looks.
 
A person's voice alone can be a boner killer. If they are talking nonsense, I have to runaway as fast as I can regardless of looks.
I get that for sure. But looks isnt even really the thing that makes a thoght happen for me. Its a tone or simple action that just catches me sometime. Even as most of the time i see and think ummm no.... lol
 
There a woman I used to work with. You could tell that her sexuality had shriveled. She was always mean to her staff. She always had a puss on her face and never seemed happy. Always complaining.

She was somewhat attractive - average. And a nice body. But very cold. Yet somehow there was this attraction to her and her attitude.

But I wanted to to fuck her in the worst way. Sometime I fantasized about giving her a rough, hard fuck. (I told one of my female coworkers she needed a good hard power-fucking: she laughed out loud.) I also fantasized about having tender love making sessions w her.

Nothing ever happened.
 
I have met more than my share of hot "Ice Queens" like you describe. Beautiful, sexy, but very cold and frigid women, and sadly, the kind of women who would likely report you for sexual harassment merely for SUSPECTING that you might possibly be attracted to them.

So... if I ever encounter one such person, I've learned to avoid them at all costs. You generally don't even want them to suspect that you fantasize about "giving them a rough hard fuck" and sometimes, even if you do your best to play it cool, they might still pick up on subtle signs, body language, etc- that you are attracted to them. Which never leads to a good outcome.
 
There is also the consideration that you are attracted to him because he is “safe” by being married. You don’t like him, he’s married, so it’s ok to fantasize about him because you know you won’t act on it. Sometimes it’s a simple answer.
 
There is also the consideration that you are attracted to him because he is “safe” by being married. You don’t like him, he’s married, so it’s ok to fantasize about him because you know you won’t act on it. Sometimes it’s a simple answer.
Part of it may be some of that. A married guy does seem like more? But most is the fact that I actually don't like him as a person!! How he lives and the choices he makes. But there is always that something that makes me think sometimes. Like makes me think in physical ways? Even if thinking about a life with him makes me sick inside!
 
Around the time I was 18, right after high school, I knew this girl who could be just mean. She was extremely arrogant, kind of a bully, deliberately and conspicuously excluded people she looked down on, all of that. She also looked incredible. I remember being quite hurt by some things she did and said, and so angry with her I never wanted to see her again. Then, at some point, I kind of wondered what it would be like to have her as a dominant.

I didn’t want to go down this line of thought, absolutely didn’t want to fantasize about her, but the idea wouldn’t let go of me. I sort of hated that I wanted it, but soon it just turned me on more than anything. At times I would fantasize, acting it out in my bedroom, kneeling naked before her, kissing her feet, obeying her, submitting to being paddled by her, even though in reality I couldn’t stand her. It was an intense fantasy. It still does something to me.
 
Sometimes I fantasise about sex with men I really dislike or find very unattractive. It gives a humiliating edge.
 
I had a female subordinate once and we were in competition for the same job. I got it and she did not. She made my life hell as my employee and I couldn’t stand her. She had an abrasive personality and was someone I didn’t really want to talk to, but I would at times fantasize about hate fucking her. She had a nice big tits and a nice round ass and I would stroke myself to orgasm thinking about dominating her and shutting her up by face fucking her. It was common knowledge that she was a slut in our workplace. I probably could’ve fucked her if I wanted to, but as her boss, it might not have ended well so I didn’t
 
I had a female subordinate once and we were in competition for the same job. I got it and she did not. She made my life hell as my employee and I couldn’t stand her. She had an abrasive personality and was someone I didn’t really want to talk to, but I would at times fantasize about hate fucking her. She had a nice big tits and a nice round ass and I would stroke myself to orgasm thinking about dominating her and shutting her up by face fucking her. It was common knowledge that she was a slut in our workplace. I probably could’ve fucked her if I wanted to, but as her boss, it might not have ended well so I didn’t
It is pretty much the same with the abrasive personality and I definitely HATE talking to him, but I think part of the thing with me is that dominant personality. Is there such a thing as feeling that with someone that I actually like? That even likes me and still be that way? I dont know. Just a little confusing.
 
Sometimes I fantasise about sex with men I really dislike or find very unattractive. It gives a humiliating edge.
I dont think the thing with me is humiliation. I think maybe it is more of a dominance and as weird as it sounds even fear? Confusing.
 
nothing is weird. Each to their own. I can understand the confusion part though, like, why would I want to make myself go through with this, and make myself feel this way? My therapist said it was a form of self harm.
 
That makes sense. I absolutely do NOT want to be with him though, and will not. I think it is just a reaction to his whatever. I don't self harm. Not in like a destructive way anyway. Just maybe some self stimulations? I just wonder about that and the reality of what another's intentions could be. I DO realize that is a definite possibility. It just always seemed strange that the characteristics made me feel that even with someone that I don't want or WILL NOT EVER be with.... 🤪
 
Here's another male perspective......and I've been there too!!!!!

My opinion is that just as women can be turned on by "bad boys".....men can be turned on by "bad girls".

A friend's wife is mean, nasty and has toxic views and we disagree on pretty much everything. We regularly have heated discussions about all sorts of topics. And physically she's definitely not the type of woman that I would normally be attracted to.

But for some reason (possibly because she is German and her English is heavily accented) she got my hormones flowing.....big time!!!. She was a regular masturbation fantasy of mine.

Eventually, we had a "coming together" and to be honest, she certainly wasn't a "boner killer". Quite the opposite.....lol
 
I don't have sexual thoughts about I don't really like. I also have never had a celebrity crush.
 
I don't know whether or not this counts but i have fantasies about people sometimes that normally I'd never look at in a sexual way. Not necessarily that i don't like them as such. One lady i used to work with, much older than me. Not attractive to me at all. But sometimes during being horny I'd fantasise about having really hot sex with her
 
I've experienced this both ways. Maybe it's only because they're hot?

Their personalities can be crap or non existent but if they have good bodies people will want to change them.

Some porn actors and actress are absolute morons and with the personality of a beehive. Even some not so supermodels are, but they're not paid for their personality.
 
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