How did you discover....

[Bjarni]

not quite a married couple but...

Tyiana and I have been happily engaged for almost eight years now and the non marriage is an agreed choice between us. However, the real question was how did we get into BDSM. The answer is very slowly and with her doing all the work! I had the fantasies in my head but no idea if she was interested at all an even less of an idea of how to raise the subject without causing a problem, not to mention that 'it' isn't something I was raised to talk about openly*s* I'm better now.

Anyway slowly she introduced the idea and, once the worst was over we had a good laugh about my idea concerning her lack of interest, she told me she had always known that she was a sub and I hadn't even suspected what I was let alone what she was. Blame it on a sheltered upbringing!

 

[Owlz]

what was the right path for you?

I'm curious about the lifestyle. I've dabbled with a little bondage and very little D/s and know that I like it. The problem is, I don't know what role I like best or how to further advance (baby steps) in such a lifestyle.

I don't expect anyone to tell me exactly how or what to do. However, if you could explain with circumstances how you found your place in the lifestyle it would be very insightful.


Thanks

Still exploring, cymbidia, but right now, it seems to be heading in the Dom direction.

 

[Owlz]

BUMP!

 

[exiledmaster]

How did I discover my character? (I'm a dom by the way, with a sadistic bent...)
It wasn't a matter of discovering my leanings, as separating them out from the other facets of me that made it confusing.
I'm physically a big man; six foot and currently 260 pounds, although when I retired from boxing I was fighting at around 175lbs, and my target weight now (yep, I have to get the weight down...) is around 220bs...
I've been a sportsman all my life; British readers might find it easier to imagine me if I mention that I played rugby at national Leagues level. So it was easy for people to imagine me imposing myself physically on a situation, and my jobs when younger (e.g. nightclub doorman) added to that image...
But I didn't want to be seen that way; I wanted people to be attracted to my brain and the way I managed situations emotionally and with words and images, not merely the physical.
Tieing up lovers was arousing; so was spanking them. And I didn't lack for lovers willing to walk that path, but the biggest kick I got was from persuading them. And I'd known that aspect of my character from the first time I persuaded someone to unhook her bra in front of me, rather than go through the usual teenage waltz of trying to undo it one handed while kissing her... It was just a struggle to make that into a personality that I could live comfortably with...

 

[Impish]

hmmmm

How did I discover my character? (I'm a dom by the way, with a sadistic bent...)
It wasn't a matter of discovering my leanings, as separating them out from the other facets of me that made it confusing.
I'm physically a big man; six foot and currently 260 pounds, although when I retired from boxing I was fighting at around 175lbs, and my target weight now (yep, I have to get the weight down...) is around 220bs...
I've been a sportsman all my life; British readers might find it easier to imagine me if I mention that I played rugby at national Leagues level. So it was easy for people to imagine me imposing myself physically on a situation, and my jobs when younger (e.g. nightclub doorman) added to that image...
But I didn't want to be seen that way; I wanted people to be attracted to my brain and the way I managed situations emotionally and with words and images, not merely the physical.
Tieing up lovers was arousing; so was spanking them. And I didn't lack for lovers willing to walk that path, but the biggest kick I got was from persuading them. And I'd known that aspect of my character from the first time I persuaded someone to unhook her bra in front of me, rather than go through the usual teenage waltz of trying to undo it one handed while kissing her... It was just a struggle to make that into a personality that I could live comfortably with...

nice words. nice mind.