How do I reduce my neediness?

[jaF0]

So after all these one night stands
You've ended up with heart in hand
A child alone
On your own
Retreating
Regretful for the things you're not
And all dreams you haven't got
Without a home
A heart of stone
Lies bleeding

And for all the roads you followed
And for all you did not find
And for all the things you had to leave behind



Your childhood eyes were so intense
While bartering your innocence
For bits of string
Grown-up wings
You needed

But when you had to add them up
You found that they were not enough
To get you in
Pay for sins repeated

And for all the years you borrowed
And for all the tears you cried
And for all the fears you had to keep inside




I never wanted to know
Never wanted to see
I wasted my time
Till time wasted me
Never wanted to go
Always wanted to stay
'Cause the persons I am
Are the parts that I play
So I plot and I plan
Hope and I scheme
To the lure of a night
Filled with unfinished dreams
And I'm holding on tight
To a world gone astray
As they charge me for years
I can't pay



(Excerpts from Beieve -- Savatage. Paul O'Neill February 23, 1956 – April 5, 2017)

 

[AchtungNight]

Share with them alternative perspectives on the rewards and criticisms they got for sharing their needs. The ignorance too. Quote from my therapist- “Well, AN, maybe people didn’t have time to give good ratings to your stories. Or they saw the already high ratings and praise comments and felt all was good. They couldn’t say more. Or didn’t want additional praise on your head. You don’t have any proof but your paranoia that the majority of your readers didn’t like your story. And these little bits of criticism will help you improve in the future, right?”

 

[FlyingThruLife]

Share with them alternative perspectives on the rewards and criticisms they got for sharing their needs. The ignorance too. Quote from my therapist- “Well, AN, maybe people didn’t have time to give good ratings to your stories. Or they saw the already high ratings and praise comments and felt all was good. They couldn’t say more. Or didn’t want additional praise on your head. You don’t have any proof but your paranoia that the majority of your readers didn’t like your story. And these little bits of criticism will help you improve in the future, right?”

I have read hundreds of stories on lit, and loved the vast majority of them. I am sad to say that before coming here though, I may not have given the stories very many reviews or ratings. I totally understand how that can be difficult for an author.

The same way I think it applies to your story Minx. I think sometimes people will take certain things for granted, and then not be as grateful outwardly as they feel inwardly.

 

[K155]

Hi!

Similar situation with me, but I don't think if myself as needy - I see myself as having exacting standards of how I want to be treated.

That's not to say I don't get antsy but on the whole it's good.

If you'd like to pm me we could speak a little more frankly on it, but I'm happy to be a sounding board if you need one. I cant talk to anyone in real life about my situation, so would be nice to...

Xxx

 

[IrisAlthea]

I recently got in back in contact with a long term on and off international playmate. His life doesn't allow him much time for me. Every time we play and we don't talk the next day I hit a serious low.

I have a tendency to overthink and get in my own head and spiral.

Any tips on how to stop the need to be needy?

It may be that it is just not a good fit but I think it’s worth taking a look at what causes the overthinking and the spiral too.

Are they promising to get in touch and then don’t or are you getting your hoped up all on your own?
Would it help to have a set time for when you’ll next get in touch?

As for grief, for people and for things that don’t turn out the way we hoped, there is no timeline either for when it will get in touch and I’m not sure if it ever gohsts us for good.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I have a tendency to overthink and get in my own head and spiral.

Any tips on how to stop the need to be needy?

Laugh more , focus

Then step outta the shadow that’s there in your head. Laugh more , focus

Open the window to see what you want to see , not what you’re expecting to see.

Sleep is magic , it will cure U !


finger

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

They do say laughter is the best medicine.
Sleep is fantastic, but I seem to have offended Sleep recently because it's been avoiding me as much as it can recently.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

magic it’s so simple to believe in it. Baby steps

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

magic it’s so simple to believe in it. Baby steps

And how does the 'fuck off Anxiety, come back Sleep' spell go?

 

[Fingerfuxs]

first your gonna need some ruby red shoes hahaha

then you are gonna need the toe nail clippings of 5 flying monkeys

then you