How do you be sexy\seduce a guy?

[Endlessly]

*wincing* Eeesh, I knew these questions would vome about eventually, Golden.. Everyone, be prepared to have all illusions of me shattered.

"you've been lusting after Mr X, blow jobbing one or more guys already if I follow the trail of clues correctly, and generally hanging around campus looking gorgeous for how long? And there isn't a queue of guys waiting to do you the favour?"

'Gorgeous' is in the eye of the beholder, and at least on my campus, not when they behold me. I've had male friends all my life.. Except when I got to college last fall. I've not seen a single guy so much as look at me appreciatively. I was with this young man the end of October.. And before that hadn't been so much as kissed since August.. And before that, April. I have very, very, VERY long dry spells. I'm just not what guys go for around here.

"Just wondering why you have to wait till March?"

He lives on the other side of the country.. I'm not going to see him again 'til March. And, as I said, there are no interested parties 'round these parts. Besides.. I want it to be him.

"Unless you have some deal with Laurel whereby you are going to create the biggest
thread EVER ... and want another 6 weeks clear at it!"

*laughing* I really do have to thank all of you.. I never dreamed I'd get so much wonderful advice.. And I'm not expecting this thread to stay active from now until March 4th. But I'll definitely be bringing it to the front a week before to get some last-minute pointers. *grin*

And, as I said, don't worry.. You'll all be getting a FULL report. I have a mind for detail. *grin*

 

[Endlessly]

Hmmm.. I already know my way around the male anatomy, even if I haven't been AROUND the male anatomy, eh. And I have no idea where in HELL I would find a volunteer for that on this small campus. *sigh* And besides, like I said.. I'd prefer it if it were him, y'know?

 

[Endlessly]

-UPDATE-

Gee, this is funny.. If I were in a better mood I'd laugh.

Okay, obviously things aren't going to plan. When we last left the virgin-if-not-virginal Endlessly and her hopefully-soon-to-be-cherry-popping male, she'd asked him to browse sex toys with her in the hope he'd get the hint.

After FORGETTING all about it, he then lead her on a very informative, non-arousing tour. It was like he was a salesman there or something. "And this is our most popular model.." "This is good for the novice.." *rolls eyes* At least I now know what an anal bead is. At any rate, he completely missed the point, even after I told him I learned at a very young age I should always share my toys. His response? "*laughing* It's your money, kid."

*Rolls eyes*

So a couple hours later the conversation goes back to sex, and after briefly discussing sex in the abstract he just says "Not now, dammit, I mean it" and quits talking to me completely.

ARGH. Do you SEE why I need help with this whole seduction thing? *disgusted sigh* On the only positive note, I told him I was headed to bed and had just finished reading a great erotic story with two great group fuck scenes. I made him beg for about 10 minutes before finally giving him the URL to Butterfly's chapter of the Millenium project.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a cold and empty bed for me to drag my pathetic ass into somewhere across the room..

[This message has been edited by Endlessly (edited 01-26-2000).]

 

[Laurel]

Damn! That makes me want to cry, Endlessly! That guy has serious problems if he treats a hottie like you that way...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Sorry, kid. Maybe it's not meant to happen (no guy is THAT cluless). I hope it does.

But if doesn't, hell, call me, and I'll be right over. We'll read your poetry, then pool our gift certificates for some swell toys and make long love, and then, after the earth stops moving, we'll collaborate on a hot story about the tryst and mail it to the lame brain.

 

[Endlessly]

*smiling at Laurel and laughing at Dixon* You guys are too great.

I hope this explains part of the reason why I'm so nervous about this.. *shaking head* He's got these amazing mood swings.. He's either ignoring me or begging me to borrow my friend's digital camera and take nude pictures of myself(even though he's seen it in person), you know?

He's good at confusing the hell out of me and I think he likes to do it on purpose. I mean, for crying out loud, the first time he and I were making out pretty enthusiastically, he stopped and said, "Okay, I've got to go masturbate now." *shaking head* Pardon my following use of the vernacular, but.. What the fuck?!

Maybe he's still irked at me for getting him to wear a toga to the costume party the day before Halloween.

Hmmm.. I could always do a Plan B.. Go with my newfound seduction skills and screw every guy there who WASN'T him..

[This message has been edited by Endlessly (edited 01-27-2000).]

 

[Havocman]

Endlessly, Endlessly you poor thing...here I was returning to tell you that after the Great Dark Chocolate Experiment of 2000 I was too weak in the knees to even rise from my bed and post an update for you (thanks for the idea btw *still grinning more than 18 hours after the fact*), and I'm confronted by the events of last night...

What the FUCK, indeed...hmmm, you may remember what I said elsewhere about mindfucks, and it seems to me that that might apply here...I dunno, I too have seen the pix on your website, and if you've shared even a portion of the sexuality you express in your poetry and prose here with this guy...*shaking head unbelieveably, and speaking in my best wizened, old timer voice* This younger generation, I guess I'll just never understand them.

Anyway sweetie, you have to stop berating yourself all the time, you ARE a hottie, both physically and (more importantly) mentally...as should be evident from all the interested parties here offering up their services. And trust me when I say that I'm sure there is more than one guy on that campus of yours that has looked at you "in that way". If there isn't, then I don't remember what it was like to be a male between the ages of 18 and 22.

I know, I know, you would prefer it be "The Guy", but I find it hard to believe anyone is that thick in the head, and if you do decide to revert to Plan B, it'd serve the dumbass right. Although I'd strongly caution against going on some type of "sacrifical binge" just to get even with him...might seem justified at the time, but it seems to me that the memories would be kinda dark.

Regardless, I know that I'll be waiting here with baited breath to hear the outcome of your activities (just the ol' voyeur in me I suppose) *chuckle*

Well, I guess that's all for now, other than to report that, as far as the Dark Chocolate thing goes, my wife smilingly states, "chocolate covered pretzels" for taste (lucky for me one of her favorite snacks), and all I can say is...WOW

No matter what happens in Edmonton, my advice would be to take chocolate minatures along with you...anywhere you go...*smile and a wink*

 

[Endlessly]

"here I was returning to tell you that after the Great Dark Chocolate Experiment of 2000 I was too weak in the knees to even rise from my bed and post an update for you (thanks for the idea btw *still grinning more than 18 hours after the fact*),"

*grinning* Woo hoo.. Guess my oral fixation paid off for someone.. *wink*

"I too have seen the pix on your website, and
if you've shared even a portion of the sexuality you express in your poetry and prose here with this guy...*shaking head unbelieveably, and speaking in my best wizened, old timer voice* This younger generation, I guess I'll just never understand them."

Not only has he read everything posted here (except for my new story series, don't think he'd like that much since he's one of the main characters), but I wrote it all with him in mind. And I'd have to say that once I'm behind closed doors, well.. Some things words can't express. So it's not that he thinks I'm frigid or anything.

"And trust me when I say that I'm sure there is more than one guy on that campus of yours that has looked at you "in that way"."

Ummmm.. A cute guy talked to me yesterday.. Of course, it was to ask me for advice on how to bed one of my friends..

"Although I'd strongly caution against going on some type of "sacrifical binge" just to get even with him...might seem justified at the time, but it seems to me that the memories would be kinda dark."

*nodding* I agree.. Especially considering he's going to be the only guy there I've met before. I'm horny, not stupid. *smirk*

"Regardless, I know that I'll be waiting here with baited breath to hear the outcome of your activities (just the ol' voyeur in me I suppose) *chuckle*"

*laughing* I never knew I had such exhbitionist tendencies.. *wiggles eyebrows*

"my wife smilingly states, "chocolate covered pretzels" for taste"

Now forgive my naivete, y'all, but was that a penis euphemism or did she actually use chocolate-covered pretzels? *blink* If so, how'd that work?

 

[Rodrigo]

Hey, Jailbait. This clown sounds like the type of guy that fucks with girl's heads, uses them, and then makes them feel like shit by fucking with their heads some more. Maybe you should focus on another guy for awhile. I know the type of guy your're dealing with (I was that guy...briefly..it was a phase). You bestow the gifts of oral-fixation...mmmm...oral fixation...and those 36D's on some other asshole, make sure asshole numero uno finds out about this, and he will immediately get jealous and get in line. Your cherry is as good as popped.

I know this plan is asinine and juvenile, but it's fucking college that we're talking about here. I'm in grad school, and it's about as asinine and juvenile as high school...mmm...high school girls...But I digress. Make the guy jealous. Trust me. Now tell me more about this oral fixation you lttle teenage hussy. Kidding...sort of.

[This message has been edited by Rodrigo (edited 01-27-2000).]

 

[Endlessly]

Hey, Spellcheck. It's a rough plan, hard to carry out from a distance, y'dig? But I'll see what I can do. Worse comes to worse, I'll shove some poor, unwitting guy in a janitor's closet somewhere on campus and give him the impromptu blowjob of his life.. Oh, and check the Sex and Food thread if you want to know about my oral fixation. *chuckle*

 

[Golden]

Oh lovely Endlessly ... (endlessly Lovely?)

"Not only has he read everything posted here"

when you said he'd read Butterfly's stories I started to think - in no time he'll be reading about himself on this thread ... has he??


"Ummmm.. A cute guy talked to me yesterday.. Of course, it was to ask me for advice on how to bed one of my friends"

to which your response should have been:

"Mr Cute Guy, how can I possibly advise you on how to bed my dearest friend Miss Grabmytits, when I have no idea whether I should be recommending you to her; you could be an absolute pig in bed and in that case I should be doing my friend a great disservice, nay it would be unforgiveable, were I to in some manner lubricate a path to the entrance to her lovenest for you.

Therefore, Mr Looking More Cute the More I Think about my Predicament, before I can possibly give you clues to her access code, you'd better come up to my place and demonstrate your worthiness.

Give me the time of my life and I'll write your reference!"

or something!

go on girl do something or I'll have to get on a plane and ... no, no change the subject ...

love golden

 

[Laurel]

we'll collaborate on a hot story about the tryst and mail it to the lame
brain.

Hey! I'm not TOTALLY lame!

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* Golden, you're, ummmm, golden. *grin*

First of all, I'm not really worried about him reading this BB thread. He prefers lesbian stories, and goes to the nifty site instead, except when I recommend a story to him (or read him one; he's in love with my voice, if nothing else-- and incidentally, thanks to Sparky Kronkite, Xxplorher, Dixon, and the writer of the Jackson family series for helping me use what amounts to over 12 hours of calling card time, I think), and then I give him the direct URL. He gets on, gets off, and exits the site. *chuckle* But just in case-- that's why I don't mention his name. And if you look at my photo albums not-too-carefully you should be able to figure out who this guy is. After all, I already mentioned togas. *grin*

As far as Mr. Getting Cuter The More I Think About My Situation.. eh, he's a blond (I've never actually kissed a blond guy before, now that I think about it *blink*) and he's got a girlfriend. *rolls eyes at the idea of him trying to get to her best friend* It's all nuts, really. Gotta love college.

 

[Rodrigo]

I just re-read my post and there's about four hundred spelling errors. I'm going to go edit that shit like a ninja.

 

[Laurel]

I'm going to go
edit that shit like a ninja.

Ah, ninjas are good editors, eh? Who'dve thunk it?

 

[Endlessly]

Ahhh ha.. Gotcha, hon. Hmmm.. I don't think I've ever had chocolate covered pretzels. I'll take your wife's word for it. *blinking* Actually.. I've only let a guy (him) cum in my mouth once, and to this day I've yet to decide if I like the taste or not. I'm sure chocolate couldn't HURT the taste, eh.

On a side note: I'm doing one of those high-protein, no-carb diets (which would be PERFECT for my oral fixation.. Must drag some poor boy into a janitor's closet in the name of my nutrition program..), and today at lunch I got an extreme verbal ass-kicking from my friends-- turns out, I guess, that these carb free diets promote kidney failure, gallstones, osteoperosis, gout, chronic fatigue syndrome, and some other stuff, I don't remember what-- I was picking beans out of my chili. At ANY rate.. Has anyone tried it? Was their health adversely affected? It's working great for me, minus the occasional nausea and dizzy spells.

And on an update-ish side note.. I got an E-mail from a young man saying that not only should I not wear underwear when I go to Edmonton, but I should practice so as to gain confidence. I'm having trouble seeing how this turns guys on.. But thus far the day has gone pretty well sans underwear. And last night when I was night-monitoring down in the lobby of my dorm, I wore quasi-sleeping attire.. no bra, a tight tanktop, and some sweatpants. I didn't see any guys looking at me, but I did catch more than one woman staring at my chest. Allow me to use the vernacular again: what the fuck?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Laurel, you crack me up. TOTALLY.

 

[Havocman]

"Now forgive my naivete, y'all, but was that a penis euphemism or did she actually use chocolate-covered pretzels? *blink* If so, how'd that work?"

Just to clarify...I meant that my wife said that the taste of the cum and dark chocolate together reminded her of chocolate covered pretzels.

Let me just stress that no chocolate covered pretzels were harmed in the conduction of this experiment (I must admit I don't know how that would work either).

And quest for sexual knowledge or not, I'll be damned if I'm going to let her twist my dick into a pretzel shape *grin*

Havoc

 

[Endlessly]

-UPDATE-

*smiling coquettishly* Thank you, EVERYone, for all of your help in how I should go about seducing this young man in March.

I had a candid (among other things) conversation with him today.. I don't know if I'll get the chance to SEDUCE him, but it's looking like we may never leave the hotel room. As many of you have said.. My cherry's as good as popped..

..Not to mention he wants to try many things new and, I must admit, fairly enticing-sounding. You guys should be getting one hell of a report from me.. My first time, my first anal, my first 'let's all take a shower together' experience, first time with toys..

..And all because I got him horny enough to appreciate me. *shaking head* You guys are the god-damned GREATEST, you know that? *grin*

Any particular pointers on what I should do to prepare for the inevitable, or is there anything, really?

 

[Havocman]

"So what do you think of the story idea?"

Yeah, by all means, give us the first chapter...it'll be really interesting to see just what kind of situations some of the horndogs around here place you in *chuckle*

Like somebody stated in Wooster's thread dedicated to your voice (and doesn't that just boost the hell out of your ego? *smile*), I too would be curious to hear your voice describing your encounter...

But, being a guy, I'd probably be more interested in that videotape thing you mentioned earlier *big grin*

 

[Deborah]

Laurel, I was serious. Send my award to Endlessly. This story is rather compelling and I would like to do whatever I can to contribute to an appropriate climax. Endlessly, get some thumbcuffs. It will keep the dude from jerking off, and ... (I'll tell you later).

Endlessly, this is really up to you and Laurel, but ... wouldn't this just make a really good "quickie" (I hope not!) interactive story? Entitle it "Pop Goes the Cherry" or some such thing.

Endlessly writes the first chapter, setting the story up, right up to the point where she and "Lucky" open the door to his hotel room. Then whoever wants writes a second chapter about what happens in the next few hours. Then Endlessly writes the final chapter, separating truth from fiction.

This would be different from the Millenium gang banging in that one story does not build upon the other. The writers just tell their version of how Endlessly gets it on, 'er I mean gets it in. So the writers would like have all of February to do their version of the exploration of virgin territory the way I see the planned itinerary.

Just a thought. Endlessly, you no like this idea just put it in the circular file (wastebasket). This is your party!!! Geez. This sounds like the latest in marketing innovation to me. And why shouldn't girls have a big party and plan losing their virginity and get lots of kinky gifts and stuff? And get it on videotape, and ...

Endlessly, you best have Plan B though if this don't happen. Zeke? Zeke? Here boy.

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* I love it, Deborah, as long as people leave Zeke out of it, I'm all for it. It might give me some ideas.. *wink*

And don't worry about a plan B.. I got an E-mail from a different guy going to Edmonton asking if I would please share a room\bed\get naked with him. *blink blink* Weeeeeeeeird.

Laurel, combining this with the other thread where someone asked about authors reading their own stories.. How rough would it be to do an interactive audio? I mean, I could get you the first chapter this week.. *thinking* If people wanted, you could have a new audio story version of my first time once a week from various people-- well, pretty much until March 12th when I'd get back and set everyone straight. What do you think? This is assuming all the rest of you sexy authors have microphones..

[This message has been edited by Endlessly (edited 01-29-2000).]

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing hard* Hmmmm.. Videotape.. He IS an exhibitionist..

 

[Havocman]

"I had a candid (among other things) conversation with him today.. I don't know if I'll get the chance to SEDUCE him, but it's looking like we may never leave the hotel room. As many of you have said.. My cherry's as good as popped.."

...and the clouds rolled away and upon every tongue, and every voice could be heard a single proclamation HALLELUJAH--book of Penetrations, ch.2 v.xii

So then, it would seem the answer to the question that started this thread would be...grab him by the ears and say, "Are we gonna fuck, or what?" *wink and a big thumbs up*

Havoc
ps I finally discovered that little UBB Code thingy at the bottom of the reply screen...DOH

[This message has been edited by Havocman (edited 01-29-2000).]

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* You're TOO funny! Turns out he's wanted to screw me since.. Well, I don't have a date, but he assures me that it's a really long time. *grin* And here I thought he'd never want to see me naked again..

So what do you think of the story idea?