How do you feel RIGHT this moment? "I'm ________________"

[Luna_Wolf72]

cuddle with me!!!

I gots an electric blankey

*dive bombs zy*

I am cold. Blankie. YAY!!

 

[palemoon2035]

If there were a word for feeling every emotion, that is what I am. My upcoming birthday has me on a road of introspection on which I'm moving so fast I just can't leap off. I'm mad at everyone and everything, but I love them with all of my heart at the same time. So, I apologize for my crazy these next couple weeks. I think I'm going to be a little all over the place.

It has been 6 months since I first started feeling depressed, and I haven't taken any steps to change anything, so as I reach this age, which, for whatever reason was the year I set to accomplish a lot of goals, I'm wondering why I haven't become the person I wanted to be.

Porn site, shmorn site... This is a wonderful place full of wonderful people. I just have to realize you all aren't the only wonderful people in my life. It is time to fix me and my relationships or else 2013 is just another year during which I wait for...something.

That is how I feel right now.

 

[Daddi_DJ]

Calm due to being numb...gotta love feeling numb

 

[Faux_Pas]

I know that feeling, moon.
I really don't feel I have too much in the line of friends offline, and have those I talk to here- though I don't think many consider me an actual friend. I'm a name online, and after events of my past, that's about all I expect out of it.
On here I can vent. I can say things that have been bothering me, because people will blow right past it and not give a rat's ass. And bring just another name, that doesn't bother me. Offline, I know people don't give a shit. I'd rather vent where I can write it freely and be passed over, than talk to a physical face and be ignored.

I've been depressed for over a year. Hell, I tried to kill myself a few months ago. Trying to "fix" my depression seemed pointless. I'd get right back into it.

Finding out what bothers you, why it's there, is the way to deal with it.
Having people who listen, even if just online, can help too.

 

[palemoon2035]

I know that feeling, moon.
I really don't feel I have too much in the line of friends offline, and have those I talk to here- though I don't think many consider me an actual friend. I'm a name online, and after events of my past, that's about all I expect out of it.

Finding out what bothers you, why it's there, is the way to deal with it.
Having people who listen, even if just online, can help too.

Thanks. I am glad you are here. *hugs*

 

[Annisthyrienne]

It unsettles me to to think of my online friends suffering from depression and hurting. It is because I've been there too, and can relate so much. As for online friends versus real life friends, I came here in the first place because my best friend in real life, who had been my best friend since we were in high school together, dumped me at the insistence of his wife. I ended up coming to Lit to try to find a similar role playing partner. And even though I found out that the role playing here is quite different than what I did with my friend, I still enjoyed it.

In the time I've been here, I've made friends with people online. But it's true that it isn't the same as having a lifelong friend in real life. People here claim to care about you, and sometimes they may really feel that caring. Other times they may just say they do. I really don't know what to say to offer any comfort. I can't say that you should turn to your online friends, because that doesn't work for everyone. I think the illusion lures people in, but is ultimately unsatisifying.

 

[palemoon2035]

It unsettles me to to think of my online friends suffering from depression and hurting. It is because I've been there too, and can relate so much. As for online friends versus real life friends, I came here in the first place because my best friend in real life, who had been my best friend since we were in high school together, dumped me at the insistence of his wife. I ended up coming to Lit to try to find a similar role playing partner. And even though I found out that the role playing here is quite different than what I did with my friend, I still enjoyed it.

In the time I've been here, I've made friends with people online. But it's true that it isn't the same as having a lifelong friend in real life. People here claim to care about you, and sometimes they may really feel that caring. Other times they may just say they do. I really don't know what to say to offer any comfort. I can't say that you should turn to your online friends, because that doesn't work for everyone. I think the illusion lures people in, but is ultimately unsatisifying.

And yet, you are my friend, and you offer insight like no other. I have come to terms with the fact that this place can't be an escape or substitute for other relationships. I need those. If this is all I have, then yes, it feels unsatisfying. Still, though the relationships here are different, they are no less real. I truly care about some people here and it hurts to have seen a couple people go recently. It hurts a lot.

That is just one aspect of many things I am not happy about. I realized I have lots of emptiness in my life and I came here to fill it. But it can't be filled here. I need to change other parts of my life and use this place as for what it is. Do I have friends here? Of course. And I always will, but they can't be my only friends. Lit can't change my career for me and it can't get me out of
debt. I will always be a writer and share stories here with others. I will enjoy sexual roleplay with some very kinky and creative people here...but I really need to stop signing on to avoid other things about my life that I despise.

 

[Fortuitus]

One needs to find balance. Real life should take priority. If you're depressed, then go see a doctor about it. Depression and sadness are two different things. Make sure you know which you are before you say it. Then get help. Whether it be a therapist or medication, help is available.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

And yet, you are my friend, and you offer insight like no other. I have come to terms with the fact that this place can't be an escape or substitute for other relationships. I need those. If this is all I have, then yes, it feels unsatisfying. Still, though the relationships here are different, they are no less real. I truly care about some people here and it hurts to have seen a couple people go recently. It hurts a lot.

That is just one aspect of many things I am not happy about. I realized I have lots of emptiness in my life and I came here to fill it. But it can't be filled here. I need to change other parts of my life and use this place as for what it is. Do I have friends here? Of course. And I always will, but they can't be my only friends. Lit can't change my career for me and it can't get me out of
debt. I will always be a writer and share stories here with others. I will enjoy sexual roleplay with some very kinky and creative people here...but I really need to stop signing on to avoid other things about my life that I despise.

I really cant add anything to this. You said it perfectly. There are times I wish I had it as together as you seem to. I know it isn't healthy to have no real life friends, and have all my friends online through this site. Of course it's not easy to replace a friendship that was built over my entire adult life.

 

[palemoon2035]

I really cant add anything to this. You said it perfectly. There are times I wish I had it as together as you seem to.

Oddly enough, I feel like I could say the same thing about you. I have it together for the most part, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. And I recognize easily what I need to change. When those changes don't happen, I get sad.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Better.

Not flipping cart wheels better but better.

I sometimes forget that I am not the only person who needs understanding.
I sometimes forget that others hurt too.
I was reminded today...

and though I didn't have words when she was on the phone and expressing herself, I wish I could tell her that "YES, I understand...and though the love has changed....I still fucking love you and I would be lost without you and please don't ever leave me the whole way behind."

So I feel...better.

Centered. More focused.

 

[marauder13]

HDIFRN ~ on a cusp of sorts. 2012 has been quite an interesting year, as in the "May you live in interesting times" kind of interesting. I have seen people close to me hurt, I have seen friends, in RL and here on Lit, have the most joyous of times.

I have received news that took the joy out of my life for a while, and is still taking time and effort to get over. I have been through some really dark times personally, and I have clawed my way back again through the help of my friends - online and offline.

I have spent the last week reviewing what has happened, and where I am right now. I am fragile still, but getting stronger each day, no matter how tiny that improvement may be. Now? Now I am deciding what I am going to do with myself, where I will be taking myself from here. I have ideas, some i have had before but I never had the drive to commit to them fully. With everything I have experienced this year, I now have the drive to tackle the obstacles that confront me. I know it will be hard at first. I know I will have setbacks. But I have something now that I didn't have back then.

Belief in myself.

I have learned recently not to rely on the words and opinions of others to measure my own worth. But what they didn't say was those words can be used as a guide to discovering it within myself. Lots of people have been telling lots of things, and a lot of it similar thoughts and opinions about the same subject. Those words helped me look at the right place in the right way. I have great friends, who are plain wonderful people.

So, I am know getting myself ready for a new path in my life, which to be honest scares me. But it excites me as well.

Yeah, I think I have rambled enough for now. I have some more posts to think about and respond to.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.

 

[Daddi_DJ]

Angry and confused smdh. I hate feeling the anger even if it IS directed to someone who deserves it!

 

[Daddi_DJ]

I have vented a little so I feel a little better...actually a lot better. Still need that drink though!

 

[SiaKlynn]

I feel good and excited for the day ahead, closing the chapter on 2012 and opening a new one for 2013.

 

[MisterChino]

Like I just had my New Year's celebration yesterday.... craziest hangover right now. Ugh. *rolls up into a ball*

 

[Miss_Vivi]

Oh..ow!
*grumbles*

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

Oh..ow!
*grumbles*

*rubs sore spot* XD

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

beaten down.
More sleep is required.

 

[Miss_Vivi]

*rubs sore spot* XD

You just keep those pea picking paws to yourself mister. Nods, covers her chest and hobbles off

 

[RainingHeat]

You just keep those pea picking paws to yourself mister. Nods, covers her chest and hobbles off

Pea picking paws... THAT made me giggle....

 

[Britwitch]

Oh..ow!
*grumbles*

pounces...carefully

 

[LoganDarkHolme]

You just keep those pea picking paws to yourself mister. Nods, covers her chest and hobbles off

*just grins*

 

[Daddi_DJ]

beaten down.
More sleep is required.

I thought I told you to get to bed woman!

 

[Daddi_DJ]

I am feeling good and focused for the first time in months!