How does a fetish start?

[gtnlynn]

My fetish is having my wife smoke a cigarette during sex. She knew that I did not like the smell of smoke and never smoked around me. One night, I caught her sitting by a window, smoking and blowing the smoke out the window. It turned me on to see her being so "sneaky bad." Her punishment was to smoke throughout our next love-making session. I was hooked and it became a fetish. After a while, she decided to give up smoking entirely for health reasons, so my fetish probably won't be realized again.

 

[darkdisquiet]

I have certain things that always turn me on, that I think about about.

I wonder how fetishes become fetishes? was it an event, or an idea?

For me it was seeing a naughty magazine at an early age of women in bondage and that pretty much did it for me.

 

[Jcam1980s]

I love pregnant women. It was definately started by seeing my aunt pregnant. She'd wear tight clothes and once was sat opposite me about 8 months pregnant, i could see her shaved pussy through her tights. Her breasts heavy and full.

 

[Jada59]

I have read about how they start. I discussed this with a psychologist friend and he said this was true. He confirmed this by telling me how his fetish got started.

I am going to have to try to think hard of a way to phrase this so as not to violate the rules here. So... Um..

When we first start to have sexual urges, something may happen that doesn't necessarily relate to sex, but we associate it with those urges.

In my friend's case, he and a female friend were in the bathroom. With no warning, she sat down on the toilet and peed. This is how his fetish began He has a pee fetish, but not the typical one. For him, it is the sound of a female's urine going into the toilet. When we had phone sex, he would cum if he heard me peeing. The peeing does nothing for me and if I was with a guy IRL, I doubt that I'd be with one who had that fetish. However, he was merely a passing phase in my life. I probably talked to him maybe 6 times. His personality didn't mesh with mine as I got to know him better. So... I moved on.

I don't know that I have any fetishes. I do have things that I like, but those things are not necessary for me to have sex. In my mind, when one has a fetish, they need to have that thing (whatever the fetish is) or at least think about it to get aroused and/or cum.

I have been with men who could not cum unless/until I did a certain thing to them. We could be 30 seconds into the sex and they would cum if I did that certain thing. Was that a fetish? Hmmm... Not sure. The good thing was, they liked to do other things during sex so it was overall well rounded. And that worked for me. I was kind of cool though knowing that I could make them cum instantly if I wanted to.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I have read about how they start. I discussed this with a psychologist friend and he said this was true. He confirmed this by telling me how his fetish got started.

I am going to have to try to think hard of a way to phrase this so as not to violate the rules here. So... Um..

When we first start to have sexual urges, something may happen that doesn't necessarily relate to sex, but we associate it with those urges.

In my friend's case, he and a female friend were in the bathroom. With no warning, she sat down on the toilet and peed. This is how his fetish began He has a pee fetish, but not the typical one. For him, it is the sound of a female's urine going into the toilet. When we had phone sex, he would cum if he heard me peeing. The peeing does nothing for me and if I was with a guy IRL, I doubt that I'd be with one who had that fetish. However, he was merely a passing phase in my life. I probably talked to him maybe 6 times. His personality didn't mesh with mine as I got to know him better. So... I moved on.

I don't know that I have any fetishes. I do have things that I like, but those things are not necessary for me to have sex. In my mind, when one has a fetish, they need to have that thing (whatever the fetish is) or at least think about it to get aroused and/or cum.

I have been with men who could not cum unless/until I did a certain thing to them. We could be 30 seconds into the sex and they would cum if I did that certain thing. Was that a fetish? Hmmm... Not sure. The good thing was, they liked to do other things during sex so it was overall well rounded. And that worked for me. I was kind of cool though knowing that I could make them cum instantly if I wanted to.

This is a great response and I agree that an event in life probably shapes what are our fetishes today. I have a lactation fetish and I know when it started because I blocked out the fact that I was being aroused while nursing each of my kids. They are older now and I feel safe exploring that fetish without the mental hangup anymore and I love it.

 

[Jada59]

This is a great response and I agree that an event in life probably shapes what are our fetishes today. I have a lactation fetish and I know when it started because I blocked out the fact that I was being aroused while nursing each of my kids. They are older now and I feel safe exploring that fetish without the mental hangup anymore and I love it.

I only have one kid. She's 22 now. I couldn't produce enough milk but she preferred that to formula. Actually every formula made her sick. So when she was very young, she wanted to nurse constantly.

For me, the nursing caused strong uterine contractions and yes, orgasms.

For some time after she quit nursing (at 10 months because she bit me), I had a fantasy. The setting and the man were generic. Not my house, yard or husband. But... The man would take me outside and milk me with his hands into a bucket while he sat on a low stool. I was naked on my hands and knees for all to see. Nobody actually saw me in the fantasy.

Not sure how long that fantasy lasted. Maybe a few months.

I also got creative with my breast pump. I was talking on the phone to a guy and decided to lie down on the floor and put the pump between my legs. Very stimulating! I never got an orgasm from it though. I did look into pussy pumps but they look difficult to get the correct size and I think they won't work if they are the wrong size.

One day, my mom was looking in the coat closet and found the breast pump. She threw it out. I protested, but couldn't tell her why I wanted to keep it. She wouldn't have understood or would have thought it was disgusting. She thought I wanted it for sentimental reasons. Nope.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I only have one kid. She's 22 now. I couldn't produce enough milk but she preferred that to formula. Actually every formula made her sick. So when she was very young, she wanted to nurse constantly.

For me, the nursing caused strong uterine contractions and yes, orgasms.

For some time after she quit nursing (at 10 months because she bit me), I had a fantasy. The setting and the man were generic. Not my house, yard or husband. But... The man would take me outside and milk me with his hands into a bucket while he sat on a low stool. I was naked on my hands and knees for all to see. Nobody actually saw me in the fantasy.

Not sure how long that fantasy lasted. Maybe a few months.

I also got creative with my breast pump. I was talking on the phone to a guy and decided to lie down on the floor and put the pump between my legs. Very stimulating! I never got an orgasm from it though. I did look into pussy pumps but they look difficult to get the correct size and I think they won't work if they are the wrong size.

One day, my mom was looking in the coat closet and found the breast pump. She threw it out. I protested, but couldn't tell her why I wanted to keep it. She wouldn't have understood or would have thought it was disgusting. She thought I wanted it for sentimental reasons. Nope.

I'll never forget the first time I orgasmed from nipple stimulation: in the middle of the night during a feed. I was half asleep and just trying to not drop my daughter as she nursed. She hit a sweet spot that jolted me awake and it kept building and building until I couldn't hold it back. I was curious from that moment on.

I have had a lot of fun with pumps I can orgasm if the flanges are just right over my nipples. At the right speed setting, and with enough suction it will cause me to start squirming and eventually cum.

I've nursed a few adults after inducing lactation to explore that fetish and have a friend that I see on occasion that I'm comfortable with to take it a little further each time.

When I first accepted that I enjoyed being nursed I had to take my kids out of the idea. That was my biggest hurdle in accepting that this was something I wanted to explore sexually. Once I got passed that it's been a wonderful experience.

 

[Jada59]

I'll never forget the first time I orgasmed from nipple stimulation: in the middle of the night during a feed. I was half asleep and just trying to not drop my daughter as she nursed. She hit a sweet spot that jolted me awake and it kept building and building until I couldn't hold it back. I was curious from that moment on.

I have had a lot of fun with pumps I can orgasm if the flanges are just right over my nipples. At the right speed setting, and with enough suction it will cause me to start squirming and eventually cum.

I've nursed a few adults after inducing lactation to explore that fetish and have a friend that I see on occasion that I'm comfortable with to take it a little further each time.

When I first accepted that I enjoyed being nursed I had to take my kids out of the idea. That was my biggest hurdle in accepting that this was something I wanted to explore sexually. Once I got passed that it's been a wonderful experience.

I hac a BF who tried to induce lactation. I hadn't had a baby yet. I know now that he didn't do nearly enough to make it work.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I hac a BF who tried to induce lactation. I hadn't had a baby yet. I know now that he didn't do nearly enough to make it work.

It took me 6 months, pumping every few hours, then eventually I used medication. It's a fun fetish to explore once the milk comes in. It can be great messy fun

 

[Jada59]

It took me 6 months, pumping every few hours, then eventually I used medication. It's a fun fetish to explore once the milk comes in. It can be great messy fun

He was a cop. He'd watch two back to back episodes of Barney Miller while sucking me, then go to work.

 

[sally_sparrow]

He was a cop. He'd watch two back to back episodes of Barney Miller while sucking me, then go to work.

Lactating or not, I bet that was fun

 

[horrorotic]

I think its inherently wired into you, and you may not know its there until you see something that awakens it.

Example my husband has a foot fetish. He told me a story of how back when he was young one of his friends found a penthouse magazine and a bunch of them were looking at it.

They were all commenting on her tits, ass etc...my husband found himself staring at her bare feet. In every picture that showed them it was the first thing he looked at. He had no idea why, but it got him worked up.

He then went on to have dreams of tickling, licking and kissing feet.

I won't mention the age because of rules here, but let's say that at that time there was nothing he had ever seen or experienced that would create that, it was just there waiting.

All I know is I get great foot rubs out of it.

 

[Bigaug]

I think it is that one thing that happens in your life which gave you an unexpected incredible orgasm, not just the orgasm but an overall incredible feeling that you always try to duplicate.
I have several fetishes that I always need to do or see and can track them back to incredible orgasms.
1. Secretly watching a woman masturbate- when I was young I was hiding to scare someone but that someone, looked around , pulled her pants down and proceeded to rub her clit resulting in one orgasm after another, pulled her pants up and left. I pulled my dick out stroked and had 3 cum squirting shaking orgasms-I still masturbate to that vision and over the many years have made every effort to see it happen again.
2. When I was young, the washer was on the fritz, my mother gave me a pair of my sister's silk panties to wear-I was hard as a rock -they became my masturbating tool- until my mother found the hard crusted dirty panties, and gave me several more pairs, with a smile on her face, I still wear panties and masturbate with them
3. Girl on Girl sex- Obviously I had seen magazines and some porn but when my ex did her best friend in bed one night - it was amazing-but it only happened that one time with her-but I always have a need to make it happen again, my current wife has helped me out a few times but it is one of those things I NEED and get great satisfaction from
I have a few others but these three are sex things I need in my life

 

[CuriousErin]

Damsels in distress always turned me on. When I was a little girl seeing these scenes in movies and TV they always made me breathless and dreamy. I asked my mom out of confusion. My mom is a very smart and nurturing woman. She did not explain to me why I had those feelings, though I’m sure she sensed I was a sexual submissive in the making. She just told me it’s natural and Ok to have those feelings. She told me someday I would learn why those things make me feel the way they make me feel. And I did. At first they were not overtly sexual feelings because I was physically immature, and as I got older the feelings only intensified, accompanied by rock-hard nipples and a swollen, dripping snatch. Eventually I learned what my mother told me I would learn, and then my feelings changed. I no longer wanted to see the damsel saved. I wanted to see her completely violated by masculine dominance.

 

[Taggy1]

Damsels in distress have always turned me on. Even when I was a little girl seeing these things in movies and TV always made me breathless and dreamy. It wasn’t physically sexual then, though I asked my mom out of confusion. My mom is a very smart and nurturing woman. She did not explain to why I had those feelings, though I’m sure she knew I was a submissive in the making. She just told me it’s natural and Ok to have those feelings. She told me someday so

To whom are you submissive to?

 

[CuriousErin]

To whom are you submissive to?

Men who excite me.

 

[PolyMale87]

For me, I think my fetishes develop out of a sense of boredom or fear of missing out or simply out of pure curiosity. I just love the rush of exploring a new type of sexual experience. Finding different and unique and creative ways to enjoy sex. And I love fulfilling other’s kinks and fetishes. And exploring those kinks and fetishes with them helps me build an interest in the fetish as well.

I also think I simply crave variety in my sex life, and exploring different fetishes gives me the opportunity to quite fully appreciate that variety. I (perhaps surprisingly?) can still enjoy very vanilla sex if I also have an opportunity to explore kink in other sexual situations. Variety is truly the spice of life.

I also feel that I truly love the experience and feeling of transgressing against normative and mainstream ideas of what is sexy and what is arousing while still being ethical and consent oriented.

 

[Pee4Fun]

I used to tease my girlfriend about water sports. Just pushing the envelope to see how she'd react. After fucking, we cuddled naked together. She looked into my eyes and asked: "Do you want to piss on me?" The beginning of enjoying a golden fetish together.

You lucky duck!

For me, my pee fetish started after reading an erotic story that involved peeing. This was in print, back in the days before the internet. Then, after renting some pee movies on VHS, I was hooked!

I finally got up the nerve to ask my then wife if she'd shower me. She was shocked and said, "I don't know if I could ever do that!" I never mentioned it again and eighteen months went by. Then one night, she asked me if I wanted her to piss on me. We went to the tub and I drank from her tap. It really was a dream come true. Sadly, after the second time, she didn't want to do it again.

Years later, I met a woman from a pee website who wanted to be peed on. We met and I gladly did it for her, along with the usual sexual things.

That's the extent of my fetish experience. I feel lucky to have fulfilled it a few times.

 

[Stillrandy]

I have certain things that always turn me on, that I think about about. I wonder how fetishes become fetishes? was it an event, or an idea?

I don't know that I have taken an account , but I probably have a dozen fetishes or so. Which brings me to a question : Can one have multiple fetishes? Or do I just say simply that I am concupiscent and leave it at that ? Is it like college where you have a major and a minor ?

 

[PMarky]

Mine quietly crept on me quietly one lunch when a female friend of mine was talking about her big feet and the state of her work sandals...

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I think they're borne from a place of curiosity, boredom and experience. If you hear about something you look it up and go down the rabbit hole. When you're bored you explore and stumble on things. When you're with someone new, you allow them to explore you a bit more (or a least, I do).

My first bf had a nursing fetish (although he wouldn't have known that) and now I do. I have yet to be nursed to the level that he did and I miss it terribly. I do have others but that's my strongest fetish.

 

[adlon]

how does a fetish start?

sometimes it's with just a feather what happens after that is up to you

 

[Erosfan]

I have read about how they start. I discussed this with a psychologist friend and he said this was true. He confirmed this by telling me how his fetish got started.

I am going to have to try to think hard of a way to phrase this so as not to violate the rules here. So... Um..

When we first start to have sexual urges, something may happen that doesn't necessarily relate to sex, but we associate it with those urges.

In my friend's case, he and a female friend were in the bathroom. With no warning, she sat down on the toilet and peed. This is how his fetish began He has a pee fetish, but not the typical one. For him, it is the sound of a female's urine going into the toilet. When we had phone sex, he would cum if he heard me peeing. The peeing does nothing for me and if I was with a guy IRL, I doubt that I'd be with one who had that fetish. However, he was merely a passing phase in my life. I probably talked to him maybe 6 times. His personality didn't mesh with mine as I got to know him better. So... I moved on.

I don't know that I have any fetishes. I do have things that I like, but those things are not necessary for me to have sex. In my mind, when one has a fetish, they need to have that thing (whatever the fetish is) or at least think about it to get aroused and/or cum.

I have been with men who could not cum unless/until I did a certain thing to them. We could be 30 seconds into the sex and they would cum if I did that certain thing. Was that a fetish? Hmmm... Not sure. The good thing was, they liked to do other things during sex so it was overall well rounded. And that worked for me. I was kind of cool though knowing that I could make them cum instantly if I wanted to.

I like that you could make them cum instantly.

My late wife was amazing at this. She could make me last almost too long at times and she could make me cum in a heartbeat.
She always had that control and I loved it.

 

[AlexBailey]

I don't know that I have taken an account , but I probably have a dozen fetishes or so. Which brings me to a question : Can one have multiple fetishes? Or do I just say simply that I am concupiscent and leave it at that ? Is it like college where you have a major and a minor ?

Concupiscent is a great word. I might have a bit of a fetish for a good vocabulary , and though I wouldn't describe it as a sexual attraction, I would say it's more like how chocolate can be mood influencing/enhancing - or perhaps it's more like music.

I can eat chocolate and listen to any music in any company without being distracted with sexual desires or urges, but in an atmosphere that is already sexually charged - Eros loves chocolate, music, and poetry. So, what is poetry? Poetry is a beauty in the eye of the beholder, things that trigger my fetishes have that sway and attraction - like the way a favorite song can grab your attention and trigger a shot of dopamine as it comes on when you're on a dance floor, but it might be a different response when it's background music at the market.

Fetishes can also feel like a deep longing. Does a child who is weaned too early, long for the comfort of mom's breast? Are breasts, or intimacy in general fetishized in some people and not in others? As a kid I remember adults pouring attention all over cute little girls and feeling left out and ugly.

I don't think there is an effect level threshold that defines what is and isn't a fetish - I have many fetishes but not all are intense and distracting. Most of the sexual ones are easier to avoid, though not being able to avoid some of them can be crazily enhancing too...I

(Edit: after reseachring, it seems that a 'fetish' is something that is required for sexual gratification, so most of what I'm talking about are considered 'kinks' not 'fetishes.')

I wonder about Pavlov's Dog's salivating response to the ringing of a dinner bell. Some posts have talked about being sexually triggered by the memory of an event - was the memory enhanced by a natural shot of dopamine, and now there is a trained physical response?

Could someone intentionally develop a sexual fetish? Maybe you and a SO could develop a pattern where for a month or more you only have sex after sharing an ice-cream sundae which you finish by kiss-wrestling for the cherry then immediately jumping in bed. Could you developed a response to sundaes and cherries that could make you hard/wet?

Someone should give it a try and report back. Not me, I've already got enough fetishes.

 

[BBCfan]

I have certain things that always turn me on, that I think about about.

I wonder how fetishes become fetishes? was it an event, or an idea?

likely different for everyone but my fetish developed from stuff that happened as a kid.