How does one describe gun shots?

[cocput]

The female character shoots the guy that's been her tormenter for years. That's easy.

But how does one describe the gun shots?

She's really pissed and empties the gun into the guy. Not only does she empty the gun into him, she stands over his body still pulling the trigger of the now empty gun.

I'm up for suggestions

Nice one, AS.

Just a suggestion; though I am just a newbie, and may not be right.

Assuming first person perspective(for convenience), inexperienced shooter and the position of story where she is already pointing the gun at X,

The years of pain and suppression transformed into pure hatred, and triggered through my fingers. People later told me that they heard # gun shots being fired. At that moment though, all I could feel was my anger getting splashed around as red droplets of his blood. When the mixture of all my pent up emotions subsided, my tear-filled eyes barely made out the contours of my tormentor lying lifeless on the floor. I stopped my shaking hands from pulling the trigger repeatedly, and let the gun slip from my hand. It's over.

Replace things marked in this color with actual words relevant to your story

Maybe the masters can do a better job.

You can pick up the old wild west stories. There was a story with lots of gun shot scenes. The character's name was The Kid, though I forgot the author's and the story's name.
I am pretty much sure that the Bourne series had shooting sounds. In fact, any of the novels with assassins or spies should most likely have it.

 

[lance gt]

Another angle to take, is substitution.

'As she held the gun in her hands, it was her retribution, her retaliation for years of torment and abuse. The moment she pulled the trigger, she felt the release of that torment and each time she pulled it, the bullets became her salvation. She emptied the clip into him, but kept pulling the trigger, each release bringing her closer to feeling whole again."

 

[cocput]

Another angle to take, is substitution.

'As she held the gun in her hands, it was her retribution, her retaliation for years of torment and abuse. The moment she pulled the trigger, she felt the release of that torment and each time she pulled it, the bullets became her salvation. She emptied the clip into him, but kept pulling the trigger, each release bringing her closer to feeling whole again."

Tears of joy!

"release of torment" is a very nice way to portray that sound. the bullets screeched past!

 

[lance gt]

Tears of joy!

"release of torment" is a very nice way to portray that sound. the bullets screeched past!

Doesn't make her a cold-hearted killer that way. More like a person who has reached their limits and had enough. A justifiable homicide in a way.

 

[cocput]

Doesn't make her a cold-hearted killer that way. More like a person who has reached their limits and had enough. A justifiable homicide in a way.

Justifiable homicide, AFAIK, requires aggravation from the dead. I remember reading about a case, in which a woman who killed her abusive husband of 20+ years was denied the premise of justifiable homicide as she was not being harassed at the time of murder. I am not a lawyer. This was one piece that I excavated as part of a story's research. After reading the article I was pissed off that a woman could be tormented for 20+ yrs and when she does what she should have done, she is imprisoned, while if a person facing an attempted rape kills it is justifiable homicide. Stupid laws.

I guess rwsteward could take up the suggestion of justifiable homicide for the shooting. If the scene leading to shooting and the aftermath are crafted, then you can solve the legal tangle with justifiable homicide.

@rwsteward: I RCV'd "Do you Remember?" I didn't know that you write in 3PP. I should have written in 3PP as well. Sorry.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Gang,

I know it's an odd question but I've been kicking a story around in my head.

The female character shoots the guy that's been her tormenter for years. That's easy.

But how does one describe the gun shots?

She's really pissed and empties the gun into the guy. Not only does she empty the gun into him, she stands over his body still pulling the trigger of the now empty gun.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Ah, that just doesn't seem to get it.

It seems, to me, to be a bit cartonish. I could just hear Robin. "Wholly swiss cheese Bat Man, was she pissed at him!"

I'm not a gun person but just watching the evening news the eyewitness aways say it sounds like 'pops.' I'm not sure Pop! Pop! Pop! works either.

I'm up for suggestions

It depends how your plot is unfolding. Does the noise of the shot(s) matter or is the death the key element. Generally, something along the line of, " the gun spurted two times and he lay cold at my feet" gets the message across.

 

[rwsteward]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I had a feeling that 'bang' 'bang' just wasn't going to get it.

Since the plot is still very much floating inside my head, I haven't decided exactly how I'll deal with her shooting her abusive ex-boyfriend.

The story will take place in early-mid 60s and I'll have to research they handled a situation like I described back then.

 

[respeito]

rwsteward,

i don't have any experience writing about guns at all - but i agree with you and the other members that the use of words such as, "pow" or "pop" may take away from the story.

that said, i offer my perspective:

***

The word mercy is described as the act of compassion towards another person in one's care; or power. It's always been about power. She believed him, she trusted him. Every time.

Where was this mercy when she was forced to shut out her friends and family? Or when beat her so bad that it caused a miscarriage? Her dignity, her life, friends and family. Her baby. There was nothing left he could possibly take from her....

She deserted any semblance of regard for consequences as sat she astride his sleeping body. "Get up." Her words quivered through clenched teeth. The eyes of the beast opened. After pulling the hammer back, she gripped the gun with both hands then pressed it between his eyes.

"Put that down, girl. Before you get hurt."

So controlled. So damn arrogant.

"Put it down now, and I won't kick your ass from here to Sunday."

Shaking her head, tears welled in her eyes.

The beast recognized her fear. "You don't have the balls. You're weak." A demented grin played across his face. The sound of his derisive laughter filled the room.

Weak because you made me this way.

Then something in her transformed - it stimulated the neurons in her brain, changing it's chemistry. The fingers on her left hand curled around the grip; her right hand went under the butt, to support the weight of the firearm.

Methodically, she examined her target; playing back all of the pain he'd caused her. Her chest tightened. The beast's laughter increased, mocking her even more.

The gun was poised, her arms stretched with a slight bend at her elbows. She discharged her weapon, pulling the trigger even after the clip had emptied.

Casually calm and relaxed, she removed herself from the beast's lifeless body, staring at his vacant eyes for the last time.

She walked away without looking back. She didn't need to.

For the first time in a long time, she felt free.

***

Good luck, and happy writing.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

The first shot, fired with angry intent, discharged a forty-caliber slug that ripped through his chest. I watched, mesmerized, as the slug instantly tore through the fabric of his shirt and then the flesh behind. His face twisted, I imagine both in surprise and pain, as the life of him was rejected from the body that he once knew.

But I was far from done. Even as the corpse began to drop I fired again and again, the explosions deafening my ears as the bullets ripped through him over and over. Spurting blood was everywhere, mixed with other bodily pieces my mind was unable to comprehend.

rwsteward, I think asylum has nailed this. The sounds are not important; the effect is. Most novels dwell on the event, as asylum describes. We all know if you shoot a gun it makes a noise. The effect on the players is more important than stage effects.

 

[Pomegranate_Seed]

It might also, given the feedback you're received, be worth describing the feel of the gun kicking in her hands or other sensations, rather than fixating on sound.

Another technique is to describe how she thinks it *should* sound, and contrast that with her own perceptions, clouded with emotion.

That said, I've often heard the sound referred to as a crack.

 

[rwsteward]

There has been so many good ideas and I'll wade through them all. Since this is a period piece (takes place in the early 60's) I have to make sure that the gun she uses to kill her tormentor is period correct. Lucky for me, I have several excellent sources, the people I work with, that love guns.

A the top of the list is the Smith and Wesson model 36 firing a .38 round is a five shot revolver. Comes in blue or stainless steel.

Since her boyfriend's dad was a retired cop, and he used this gun for a backup, I can easily put the gun in the house. Now, the only problem is trying to show the readers that she was able to handle/fire a handgun.

like all stories, this one is a work in progress.

 

[CarlusMagnus]

Repetitive use of any word is amateurish.

And here I thought Edgar Allen Poe was a professional.

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/medny/venturi-poebells.html

 

[CarlusMagnus]

Now, the only problem is trying to show the readers that she was able to handle/fire a handgun.

It's pretty simple—like cheap cameras, they're point-and-shoot.

One big difference: You just want to remember not to point one at yourself.

And things do get a little more difficult if you're more than a couple of yards from what you want to point them at.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Most pistols of a medium or larger caliber make a very sharp crack. Fired in a relatively enclosed space like a room the sound reverberates off the walls and is almost deafening and cam be painful.

Assuming she is firing a revolver. Maybe something like. "The deafening crack of the pistol reverberated off the walls as she pulled the trigger again and again. All too soon the only sound was the soft click of the hammer falling on empty cylinders.?

Hope this is helpful.

Mike

 

[BONNIEBREA]

I suppose you could do it in a lot of different ways, and I think the best would be the one that sounds the most comfortable or natural to you.

Back in the days when pulp fiction writers wrote detective stories or westerns at ten cents per word, the private eye or gunslinger always got the bad guy with his last bullet instead of his first, so the writier could make an extra fifty cents with the first fives uses of "Bang!"

If you were writing on a per word basis then the pissed off female character is really your friend, since you can get paid for not only each "Bang!" but every "click" as well.