How far back did your BDSM TEdencies start?

[NALA CAYENNE]

I would say I was about 20 (and with my first guy- late bloomer ) when I first started feeling disappointed that I couldn't get my now ex to let me serve him. 37 years old and 2 men later, still having the same problem but I really began looking for ways to fulfill my submissive desires when I found Lit 2 years ago.

Now that I have a Dom, I can't imagine not having one

 

[NYWings]

For me it was 16. I found a couple woman enjoying a very private time together in the woods. I watched and got caught. They then tricked me into thinking that they were interesting playing a game. I was tied to a tree naked where they "taught me a lesson" for spying on them. I was let there to get free on my own. Scared at the time but also very excited and didn't know why. I longed to experience this day again and still do.

 

[DracnKitten]

As I was not sexually inclined until I was 16 (and probably would neve rhave been if it weren't for my step-dad and his . . issues . . . ) I didn't think about BDSM as what it was until then. Or about the way I felt about certain things.

On the other hand I ave, for as long as I remember, put myself to sleep byt hinking about myself in certain situations, such as being kidnapped, held ransom, kept captive, been beaten. All kinds of pain and humiliation kind of things, danger. Now, as a kid I always had someone cool that I idolized save me - Walker Texas Ranger was a big one for a while. But once I was safe it was no fun anymore. It only interested me -a nd for that matter helped me fall to sleep - when I thought abotu teh part where I was humiliated, hurt, or put into danger.

And when I say I've been doing this since before I can remember I mean that. I knwo that my firt clear memory of it was when I was 5. But I know I had been doing it before because I've always had stuffed animals that I would grind. My motehr has a record of me doing it when I was 2. And though I don't technicallythink of it as masturbation - because I never orgasmed and to this day I do not masturbate, though i do sometimes touch myself - it was arrousing.

I only realized when I was 16 that it was actually somethign sexual. And I was 17 before I began to persue it online, researchign and getting to know people who were in the lifestyle.

That is (funny story) when I introduced my MOTHER intot he lifestyle. Now, no I didn't do naughty things with her, but she was home all the time on oxygon with nothing to do. So I took her into a BDSM chatroom on Yahoochat. And fromt ehre it only grew.

And I think it brought us closer together, lol.

So, I think I answered the question adn then some, and excuse my rambling.
I'll . .w ander off now.

 

[twysted73]

Yes, I have a Y chromosome and I'm Proud

From the stories told to me by relatives, I'd scream and cry if I wasn't bundled tightly as a child. (if we want to go back that far). Age 6 I was wrapping myself tightly in my bed sheets just to sleep at night. At age 9 this campy sci-fi movie came out called "Flash Gordon". Anyone who's seen this is already thinking, "Yeah, the dungon scene!"
Quick recap: Flash is chained up in the dungon in the middle of the room, shirtless and dale comes in to have a few moments before he's executed. I remember sitting there with my jaw open slightly and I couldn't look away from it. I was transfixed. I wanted to be tied up like that! The thought haunted my fantasies for YEARS after.
Now I'm 33, single and swimming in a mass of male subs (the sad majority) looking for a woman who's 40% sub, 60% Dom. The perfect flip side to my percentages. Thank you wonderful (and insightful) people for sharing your stories and thoughts. It's one of the reasons this lifestyle is so unique. People care. WHat society would deem the worst of itself I feel is the best of it.

 

[twysted73]

double post by the newbie. damn

 

[MechaBlade]

I liked seeing girls humiliated around 8 or 9. I didn't actually want to take the proactive stance of being the one to humiliate them until high school.

 

[Marysa]

I first realized i was a sub when...

Hello All,

I made it to college still a virgin and couldn't have even told you what BDSM was about ( this was before the internet ... ). Within a month the virginity thing was taken care of... the submissive in me started coming out with my second boyfriend and i've never looked back. Something about a large strong male with a big cock pining me to the bed with my knees up around my ears, followed by not letting me cum, having to submit to his desires to have an orgasm... I liked it. ( if you've looked at my other post about forced orgasms... it was the same guy... he was really just what i needed to realize who i was. )

There have been times when i couldn't find a Sir to be with, but even with 'nilla partners i've always been sub. and they always seem to enjoy the sex, without really knowing why. I think they are just excited they found a woman who was willing to blow them without grief or let them cum all over my face while i looked them in the eyes... or let them do other things as they pleased.

The problem is - no dominance, no inner strength, nothing to command my respect and it just isn't the same.

So, i digress, the short answer is 18.

marysa

 

[xxbadshychickxx]

from the earlyest i can remember i wanted to make other people happy. i dident want others to be mad at me and would do anything in my power to see that it dident happen. i personaly dont like being punished or physically hurt, however if i do not do please my Owner or do as he says i will gladly take whatever he gives me.

i am still this way. taking on more then i can to make others happy. but now it has a focus. and everything that i do is for Him

i also remember being really little and touching myslef and being yelled at by my parents for it. i dont really know when i realized that i was a sub but i do know that i just came to terms with it and actually started seeking that type of relationship in the past year. but as for the past was always there....just hidden.

oh and i too made toys out of things around my house to masturbate with in my pre-teen years.....i think that one was made out of a back massager and the top of a lava lamp that looked like a bullet. and the other was the insides to a tickel me elmo.

 

[cativatta]

What an intriguing question. I am the middle child of three and my siblings are both boys. My mother ruled the roost at home while father was a gentle, loving and passive man who retreated to the basement to build birdhouses, stools, or any of a million woodworking project. She and I pretty much controlled the house, there was no overt sexual acts between any of us but I took to scolding the boys for muddy boots and dirty hands and was tacitly given permission to dominate. And, I am told that I bossed them about from the age of three. Much to my mother's amusement.

The closest I came to expressing my eventual fetish came when I would force the boys to play school with me. I would occasionally play spank one of them for some silliness; and, in retrospect, I now realize that it turned me on. I became and still am a teacher, so this all must have left a deep impression on me. I believe that my fetish is completely removed from my professional life but who can honestly comment such things.

I now indulge in humiliating men sexually, verbally and physically. I am into the many facets of male humiliation and enjoy them all.

Cativatta

 

[malinborn]

I think I was five or six... my next door neighbor liked tying me up to her tree.. but for some reason i cannot remember why.. she was 3 years older. i think it was like cowboys and indians but i do not really remember.

then later on, there was an episode of Dukes of Hazard where Bo gets taken hostage by really hot girls in Jeeps and he gets tied up to the roll bar and well.. i had a whole lot of fantasies i didn't fully understand at the time.

as for what sparked it all into actuality.. well that's not what this topic is all about

 

[EmpressFi]

I can remember getting turned on by the idea while playing Adult Truth or Dare in an AOL chatroom about 12 years ago. I was flown to California for a party being held for some of those people and the day after the party, I started my "adventure" of being bound and servicing him. I never called him master though, and it was never more than the one.. but when when Malin and I met, we also used bondage in our play and I really liked.. so .. I guess.. um.. 12 or so years ago...

 

[mslv4Her]

How is it possible to submit, or understand submitting at age 11? I really don't understand how it's even possible. Your parents and teachers are sort of your Masters at that point, lol.

I don't think I understood it as submittal, but I really like the idea of being tied up in my cops an robbers games. Eventually, I carried that over to fantasizing about being captured by a group of wicked girls and tormented by them. When I was home alone, I'd tie myself up and struggle to get loose (not letting myself go as I knew I could). It was during one of these play sessions that I discoverd masturbation.

 

[CuteBrat]

i think ive always been into D/s and being sexually submissive even before i really knew that that meant. when i was 9, i had this whole elaborate fantasy about pirates...taking over the ship i was on, dragging me by my hair out onto the deck, surrounding me, making me strip, laughing at me, touching me, tying me 2 the mast.. i was a little fuzzy about what happened after that.

the first time i remember having an orgasm was partly from putting pressure on my pussy cuz i was pretending i was hogtied.

and when i started becoming sexual and giving oral at 12, i was always turned on knowing guyz were just asking me out cuz they knew i was into giving hed. and then i found an aol chat room about D/s....and the rest is history

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Well, in my younger days I would have fantasies where I was a Dominant type figure... I knew nothing of this lifestyle, but I would be some kind of king and could do whatever I pleased to these women who had to obey... or fight over me... or well.. you get the idea...

It wasnt until years later that I was told about this lifestyle by a friend on-line I have unfortunately long since lost contact with.... I didn't start seriously exploring for a couple of years after that...

*Shrugs*

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I can remember getting turned on by the idea while playing Adult Truth or Dare in an AOL chatroom about 12 years ago. I was flown to California for a party being held for some of those people and the day after the party, I started my "adventure" of being bound and servicing him. I never called him master though, and it was never more than the one.. but when when Malin and I met, we also used bondage in our play and I really liked.. so .. I guess.. um.. 12 or so years ago...

I used to hang out in some of the adult t or d rooms on AOL, many moons ago... I wonder if we knew each other.... be dammed if I can remember the screename I used back then... Had nothin to do with Master or Phoenix... I have to think about it... maybe it will come to me.

small world online...

 

[SLUT13]

honestly...at around 13...ive ALWAYS been a very sexual girl..i was molested at age 5...well...not really molested..(we were playing house) lol. but i enjoyed it..and after that i got into sex..and also im a bisexual ...(surprise i kno lol) that happend at 11, but i was soo scared about being attracted to another girl, i didnt do anything to pursue it, until, i met a beautiful girl, who was a dom. she got me into all the rough stuff, and she was very VERY dominate with me, we explored everything..and i became obsessed with it all, and ive been a sub ever since.

 

[oneguy4fun]

Probably at about 7 or 8 I fantasized about being tied-up or being held captive. Funny thing is I would think about it until I got a really strange and cool feeling in my stomach. I vividly remember getting tied up by a female neighbor playing cowboys and indians and I got that wonderful feeling. Looking back on this I think I was experiencing an orgasm without ejaculating (I was too young to actually ejaculate). I'm wondering if any other guys experienced this?

As I got older and reached puberty I would masturbate almost daily and fantasize about being tied up or forced to kiss a girl or have sex with her. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I really understood that I was a submissive. The internet opened up a whole new world to me and allowed me to understand my feelings and embrace them.

 

[lumi]

I have no idea when my tendencies started. I guess I could blame my mother for letting me read all those historical romances at an impressionable age (they always had at least one rape scene, which I liked more than the sweet lovemaking) . I think part of the reason I fell for my ex-husband at 18 was that he seemed such a strong-willed, dominant man; he turned out to be an abusive control freak (although to my shame, I admit I didn't totally hate it when he would rape me). He freaked out on me and made me feel like a dirty pervert when I admitted my BDSM desires. So it was in my mid-20s, finally on my own, that I was able to start considering who I really am. I eventually fell in love with a man who is dominant in the positive kind of way; it took a few years to really let go of history and start exploring BDSM seriously. The important thing for me is that I now have a partner that I can trust implicitly, who will take me to my limits and beyond, but always safely and lovingly.

 

[xPinkxStarsx]

I had always loved the though of being restrained and having someone take control of me but the one memory that comes to mind is when I was in 5th grade I was laying in bed and thinking of this boy that I liked strapping me to a bed and doing anything he wanted to me.

I was in heaven with it.

 

[twysted73]

8 or 9 I think

I had a wooden headboard I'd slip my fingers under between it and where it met the head of my matress. I'd criss cross my ankles (just criss crossing my ankles today makes me feel centered as a result) and just lay there vibrating with total body sensitivity and antissipation. Simply willing (with eyes closed) that someone come to touch me. Other times (all at night) I'd fold one side of my sheets inbetween my arm and ribcage as well as between my knees and just roll, shift, roll, shift until I was packed in tight like a borrito. I remember the huge sigh of relief when I'd finally get a good tuck on it and lay there feeling this sensation of absolute love and contentment.
Sex and pain didn't come until I was 28 or so.
As for biting/scratching (being bitten/scratched) and sex? That's something I've come to love only within the last year.
I love it almost as much as giving oral.

 

[omniavincet]

I also posted in the previous thread so I won't repeat too much - just that I started fantasing about my 1st grade teacher without knowing what I was doing and it grew from there.

I'd like to second CutieMouse's comment about the Internet thing - hearing people say they discovered stuff online when they were 12 makes me feel old... But I do wonder how different the process is nowadays with so much access to info. I notice that a lot of us *older* types took longer to put names to things and to hook up with others into the lifestyle. Two cheers for the Net.

OV

 

[Evil_Geoff]

In the earlier thread I did not post my history... I won't go into details in this one either.

Lets just say that for as long as I can remember what the difference between boys and girls was for, my fantasies included kidnapping, torture, and death.

And when I found the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I found something that resonated deep within me.

In college, I had a relationship with a young woman that was a D/s relationship in all but name. I wonder what happened to her and wish I could get in touch with her now to see how her life has been.

I was not, however, introduced to BDSM as a lifestyle until the fall of 1997. I was introduced to it through Yahoo chatrooms, and from there I was introduced to realtime BDSM ni the spring of 1998.

And while I may have looked back, it's in the sense of reflecting where I have been and how I've grown, never with the thought of returning to a vanilla life.

 

[wrad]

My twin sister, younger brother by 14 months and I grew up on our dairy farm. We played doctors and nurses at about 5-6. Dad and Mum were great to us but Dad dommed Mum and often had her come to him where he was working, go over the fence rail and allow him use her. Watching, I got hard the first time just before our 9th birthday and had our sister stroke me. Over that Christmas holidays, we watched every time we could and I would have our sister stroke and lick me. Our brother's cock had a bend in it when he was hard. That was the first with a bend we had seen. To us, of course, Dad's was huge but Mum welcomed it.

 

[Theralie]

hmm i also went the way of "i had internet when i was 9 or 10 and started researching from there". ownership and bondage in movies had always caused my stomach to do a little flip, even when i was young, and i think i finally realized what it was i liked right about when i hit puberty (about 12ish). from there it's just been lots of research and lots of private experimentation. sneaking onto the AOL chat rooms and ICQ when my parents were out of town didn't hurt either.

but it wasn't till maybe a year and a half ago that i finally got comfortable enough with my partners to express my desires and play out my fantasies. mentally i've been there for ages, but physically i just got to the party!

 

[Dominoc]

Memory retrieval

This occurred to me the other day. I was trying to remember if there were early experiences that formed these kinky feelings. This might make some cringe, but here goes:

I went to the circus as a child, and they were selling these bullwhips. They were long brown weaved whips with a single cat on the end. The cracking noise they made was enticing, so I asked my ma to buy me one. She did, but was shocked to see it was a rather dangerous looking instrument. I gather she was shocked it wasn't, as she would describe, the cute kind, with clowns and circus animals on it. I spent the rest of the day cracking that whip...