How have you changed?

[cookiecat]

and then I found Lit <snip>. And it became clear to me that I am submissive - and really this is who I have been forever. But I had not allowed myself to know it, explore it, or figure it out due to all kinds of things that I am not inclined to explain here.

Now
I am a smart, feminist, articulate submissive. I am not a brat. I like and need rules. I like and need pain mixed with pleasure. I am kinkier than I knew ~ and I was always pretty damn kinky - even when I was relatively "vanilla"
I am interested in DD/lg stuff, but this is a modality that is uncomfortable for my partner. I need to work on some of my stuff in this modality still. I prefer to be obedient to bratty. Earn my punishment from being good rather than from being "bad". I am very much a pleaser. But somehow we do not yet have the balance of everything worked out. A work in progress. But this is just life. And as CutieMouse says - I think I have known for a very long time relationships are relationships are relationships. Kink is just one little part of everything else.

Thank goodness for the internet. Finding that "thing" and being able to name it - submission - feels important, doesnt it? Explains a few things about yourself. Part of the fun is discovering how to flesh it out and make it a more clear part of who you are and how it fits in your day to day life.

 

[FixJets]

Wow, how I have changed over the years. I have learned a lot. I make all of our bondage equipment. collars, cuffs, harness, what ever.

Early years I was Dom and just Dom. Could not think of anything else. Later on the idea of switching kept creeping into my head. I loved it. I think of what all I had missed in those early years. Being sub sets me free. I love the humiliation and degrading. I love serving and pleasing.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

How has your idea of bdsm changed over time?

Whether you're still pretty new or have been at it for a while, what lessons have you learned?

What have you learned about yourself?

Q. How has your idea of bdsm changed over time?
A. It’s less about sexual gratification and more about communicating intimacy

Q. Whether you're still pretty new or have been at it for a while, what lessons have you learned?

A. There are purist that are meticulous and there are experimental folks that dabble. Either or is just fine , but the two don’t play well together. It’s the nature of the beast.

Q.. What have you learned about yourself?
A..Nothing I didn’t already know.

 

[SissySalina]

How has your idea of bdsm changed over time?

Whether you're still pretty new or have been at it for a while, what lessons have you learned?

What have you learned about yourself?

Yes, sissy has learned a lot, it never really occurred before being involved in BDSM how much of it is mental. How being submissive to someone who has total power over you can put you in different mind state.

After years experiencing BDSM there are always new things to try and even if it is the same thing how the mood you are in can change the feeling of BDSM. How to cope with each new experience, mentally and physically. How different the same thing is with different Dominants.

That sissy can go to that place that She leads sissy to without any fear and confident in Her ability to safely bring sissy back. That the mind of a sissy is totally a magnificent thing to behold.

 

[Wonderer67]

Q. How has your idea of bdsm changed over time?
A. It’s less about sexual gratification and more about communicating intimacy

Q. Whether you're still pretty new or have been at it for a while, what lessons have you learned?

A. There are purist that are meticulous and there are experimental folks that dabble. Either or is just fine , but the two don’t play well together. It’s the nature of the beast.

Q.. What have you learned about yourself?
A..Nothing I didn’t already know.

I agree that it’s not as much abt sexual gratification- although it can be very gratifying too. It’s a lot more about intimacy and trust for me. It’s taken our relationship to a very different level. We’re both so much more open sexually, but just more open communicators overall. We’ve been in what we consider a female led relationship for the last 3-4 years.

I've learned that I really enjoy being submissive, humiliated and controlled and locked up in chastity. I can body orgasm just from being spanked, eating pussy, sucking her strap-on, kissing her boots etc.

I like giving her as many orgasms as she can take or wants. I love having mine denied.

We laugh and joke about our relationship (I say “Yes, Miss Conduct” like sgt Schultz in Hogan’s heroes.) I love getting her tea, making her breakfast, dinners etc.

It’s added a new dimension to our sex and communication. She’s a gentle soul and sometimes I wish she’d be more stern- an outsider may think it’s topping from the bottom. I don’t care and wouldn’t trade my marriage and contract to Miss Conduct for all the tea in China!

 

[lowcollar]

In my twenties and thirties, I was pretty straight vanilla. We would be in various intercourse positions, oral, I was lucky enough to give anal a few times. I loved it. Then I met someone who liked to role play. I always said I would try anything once. I was spanked and pegged in front of the video camera. Now, I am a clear yet straight bottom. I love being pegged and fisted, golden showers, bound, gagged, spanked, whipped, being called names, crossdressing on occasion for her, sounding, eating my own cum and in general, being a good obedient slut for my madame.

 

[IrisAlthea]

This is a great topic!
Wasn’t around when it was last active and I’ve thought about it since I saw it come up now because I find it a bit hard to pin down.

I would say it started out as ”There are these weird things that turn me on. I wonder why? Thank heavens there seems to be others to enjoy it with, but I really do wonder why. ”.

Then there was the Internet and a whole new vocabulary that seemed a bit more aproachable than what I was aware of before.
I tried to find that one label or category where I felt I fit in and but it didn’t feel very urgent because I wasn’t out there looking for someone.
I still spent a lot of energy on why at times.

Interest have come and gone and sometimes reappeared and life has thrown curve balls as it tends to do.

I still don’t have a label or one word description but I no longer feel I need or should find one.
Musing about why can still be interesting, but mostly out of curiosity about other peoples thoughts or when I get some new input. It’s not emotionally important like it was.