How To arouse my wife?

"How To arouse my wife?" One of the most common questions asked by older married men.

And the answer is the same in most cases.

A woman's sex drive is dictated by her emotions, and when a woman has been married for a long time, her life often becomes mundain and routine, and the result, her sex drive wanes.

If you want your wife to be more sexual, bring some excitement and passion into the life.

It is always said: "when we were young, we had wonderful sex all the time, but after we have grown older, she doesn't want to have sex anymore. If you want your wife to make you happy, make her happy!!!!

There are no free lunches in life, and that includes a woman's sex drive.
 
A woman's sex drive is dictated by her emotions, and when a woman has been married for a long time, her life often becomes mundain and routine, and the result, her sex drive wanes.
You missed the biggest contributing factor to why a woman’s sex drive declines as they age. HORMONES. Menopause kills sex drive in a lot of cases. I know it has for me. I don’t have the factor of long term relationship so my experience may be different.
 
I suppose this question has been asked a few times in the past, but that wasn't me :D
Let me (53y old man, 100% hetero) start by saying I like sex. I don't know why but sex has always interested me, since I was 12. That's when I started jacking off. But I was a very, very, VERY shy guy in those years. So I never dared to contact girls. Not even to speak to, can you imagine. Then in my twenties I met my wife. She, like me, was a virgin and together we discovered sex. For a few years we had fantastic sex. Just plain normal sex, no toys, no other partners, no fetish stuff, no anal. Just boy and girl having sex together in a bed. Boring perhaps but we liked it. Those were good times. That lasted for some years, but after about 5 years she got less interested. As she got less interested, I got more frustrated of course. As the years went by I kept jacking off, feeling guilty, while dreaming of bedding beautiful and willing young women. In the meantime we had less and less sex. I discovered this site and discovered lots more thanks to this site. This site learned me to accept my desire to jack off, and I learned to accept and love my body because there was nothing/no one else to have sex with. I bought a butt plug a few years ago and I use it a few times a year, when I feel the lust for it. I asked myself if I should try to cheat her, but 1) I can't lie, alas, it's one of my worst talents and 2) if I suddenly would invent some new "hobby" that necessiates leaving the house that would be very strange (I can't find another word). I could say 3) I still love her so that's why I don't want to cheat her, but that would be a lie. I mean, I still do love her, but if an occasion to cheat her would arise I'm quite sure I would use it.
So we're now in this situation that - once a month - I tell her I would like to have sex with her. If she agrees we go to the bed, try to have some fun, make some jokes, put on some nice music. But my wife never really gets aroused (anymore). She really has absolutely zero lust in her body. I can extend the foreplay as long as I want, and use my fingers, use my tongue, be gentle, try wild.... she'll get a little wet, but most of the time it's just not enough to enter smoothly. And no she really doesn't like lube, water based or silicon based, I don't know if it's mentally or if she really reacts allergic but she really doesn't like the lubes. She doesn't do much either in bed. In short : she's on her back or on her side when I take her. When we were younger we did it on a chair from time to time, she on top of me, of even in the bed she was on top me, but nowadays her knees hurt too much.... she takes my willy in her mouth but she doesn't want me to cum in it. I would like her to learn to put my butt plug in me, but I'm sure she'll look at me as if I'm some kind of sick person... caressing my butt hole is all she dares doing, for a few seconds, and only if I ask it gently. Ah, it's just boring vanilla sex, that's all.... yep I'm somewhat frustrated. I'm sure I would be more happy if I had a wife with the same level of lust.
But as it's the only woman I've got, I hope that you boys and girls can help me finding ways to to arouse my wife a bit more. I know it sounds a bit like a bad joke. But it's not.
It's not you, honey. It's the years, the hormones, the chemistry. When I hit peri-menopause my libido sank through the floor. Sex just didn't enter my mind. About a decade later, my interest returned but my body didn't know that. Dry dry pussy and it was painful to put anything, even a small vibrator in my vagina.

Sex often felt like "the last job of the day, let's get it over so I can go to sleep."
 
It's not you, honey. It's the years, the hormones, the chemistry. When I hit peri-menopause my libido sank through the floor. Sex just didn't enter my mind. About a decade later, my interest returned but my body didn't know that. Dry dry pussy and it was painful to put anything, even a small vibrator in my vagina.

Sex often felt like "the last job of the day, let's get it over so I can go to sleep."
Have you tried a sex lube like KY or Astroglide?
 
When I hit peri-menopause my libido sank through the floor. Sex just didn't enter my mind. About a decade later, my interest returned but my body didn't know that. Dry dry pussy and it was painful to put anything, even a small vibrator in my vagina.
Oh yes, and now I even need to use KY on my clit when I use the Hitachi.

Me too. It sucks. It seemed like over night I went from a dripping wet pussy to dry as the desert. Astroglide silicon based lube is my go to for both self love and partnered sex.
 
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