How to be Real on Lit

[IrisAlthea]

I don’t think it’s very different from being real anywhere else actually.
So many are here for anything but real though and some seem unclear about the difference between reality and fantasy.

 

[tedsbeds]

"Cross Town Traffic"

 

[bi11ionaire]

I try being the way I am in real life (with an extra pinch of my slutty self revealed here that I keep in check when I'm out and about in the real world)

 

[stickygirl]

The genuine people show kindness. Trolls can't do empathy

 

[Britva415]

The genuine people show kindness. Trolls can't do empathy

That doesn't make them "not genuine."

You can't fake trollery.

 

[Photog1rl]

I don't know. I foresee this thread dying a fast death.

Or sparking some good honest conversations…oh wait, yes dying a fast death…

 

[Inbef]

This certainly is one of the more surreal threads on Lit.

 

[Photog1rl]

I have met some seemingly great folks on here. I mean, it is kind of hard because they get to choose what they show me and I tend to be guarded. I’m often too honest but I enjoy moist of the interactions I choose to have.
I also think I don’t have high expectations. I am happy to be proven wrong but this site has people coming here for so many reasons and it has many sad and desperate people on it. I mean no judgment by that statement but people come here to fill a void and sometimes that void tells us who we are offline is not worthy so they try to be something else online. I tend to think most folks are worthy but finding someone that accepts and appreciates you can be difficult.
Ok, that’s me being real time to go back to being a teasing

 

[stickygirl]

That doesn't make them "not genuine."

You can't fake trollery.

So they're genuinely trolls *shrugs*

 

[Britva415]

So they're genuinely trolls *shrugs*

Heh! Exactly.

 

[brightsmile]

???? Sorry wrf I get but what is the a about?

wtaf...what the actual fuck

Well yeah, but wtaf.

 

[slavemelanie]

The genuine and sincere people that you meet and develop a relationship here makes all the other non nonsense worth dealing with. That being said, it does make caution with your emotions and heart a necessity. But is it really much different than life outside chat? You do become better judge of character the longer you spend time here.

 

[Emerson40]

There are plenty of real folks around, some who are not all they claim to be, and others who are complete fabrications. It’s an Internet forum after all, with features and the plain brown wrapping paper anonymity that could appeal to those that want to purposely deceive, troll, and catfish at worst, and provide a means to (re)create and put forth a better version of oneself at best.

Govern yourself accordingly, and manage your expectations. It’s not all that different from other social media out there, in that there are some who pose and pretend, and others who just are - the good and the bad, happy and sad, strong and vulnerable, foibles and virtues… ass pimples and nose hairs. The real deal.

Invest some time, and a bit of your real self into your replies and contributions, trust your gut, and as pointed out in an earlier post, heed the advice and warnings of those you trust and have been around a bit. You’ll soon separate the wheat from the chaff and find some genuine folks whose demons get along well with your demons and are as real as real can be. Some folks have made strong connections, and IRL friendships and even marriages have come about out of this place.

You’ll likely have a bit more chaff to deal with if you are a female and have boobs, as the plain brown paper feature mentioned attracts fellas ranging from mouth-breathing Neanderthals to silky tongued ingratiators who, despite the differences in vocabulary and syllables used, just want to see and ham-fist themselves silly to said boobs. The good news is, there are boards and threads where attention seekers and those that want to supply it can post harmoniously, if that is your thing.

It can take time, but if you spend it doing and being real, sort through some of the noise, you can find what you seek.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

I came to Lit by accident. I was looking for another forum but ended up liking what I saw and hung around. I had no “plan” nor was I really looking to make any connections. It just so happened that when I joined last summer my marriage was going through a major transition. I haven’t dabbled in online friendships since the old AOL days. It was easy to make friends then. I’ve found its been a tad, different now?

My perception started to change when my wife and I started going through our thing and I thought maybe I was open for an online friend. I’ve made several solid guy friends but the women have been a mixed bag. Had a couple that wanted to get right down to business and I’m more of the lets have coffee and get to know each other type, so those fizzled. Others have been on the younger side and too flighty. I get that. Different generation. There have been a couple that I really felt we’d have a good connection but I wasn’t their cup of tea.

I’ve gravitated to the photo type threads as I’m an amateur photog, so I‘ve found my tribe there. The problem is, we express ourselves through photos which I love, but we don’t make “real” connections through that type of forum.

All in all, I love this site. I stumbled onto it at a time I really needed an outlet to express myself, as goofy as that sounds, it’s true.

 

[Lady2020]

I was grappling with my age when I started this thread. Lit is an anonymous adult site. I imagine most people on here can only be so real, which is understandable.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

I was grappling with my age when I started this thread. Lit is an anonymous adult site. I imagine most people on here can only be so real, which is understandable.

In this day and age you have to be careful. I get that it’s a different world now. I still try to be as ”real” as I can within that new paradigm. I only post the general area I live and you’ll probably never find out where and what I really do unless I connect with someone special.

It’s just a sign of the times.

 

[LarryTee50]

I come to Lit for what I call "erotic fellowship." this place is a mixed but overall wonderful bag.....nasty fun, sure....but I'm also going deeper with a few Lit friends.....it's a journey......

 

[SmokingFap]

I don't know. I foresee this thread dying a fast death.

Apparently, your crystal ball was defective.

 

[Crankbait88]

If by real in the context of how I see myself, my online persona is probably 80% of my real self. There are times I am more exaggerated or muted on here than I would be in my real life.

 

[Greylag]

I am happy to let a little of my real self out a bit at a time but only when I have built a connection with someone and a level of trust. That surely is no different to RL? Until then it is probably only my underlying character traits you will see.

 

[Lady2020]

Apparently, your crystal ball was defective.

Not really.

 

[SmokingFap]

Not really.

I'm trying to help keep it alive.

 

[SmokingFap]

I don't know. I foresee this thread dying a fast death.

Alright, I might as well put in my one cent. In my experience, I think most folks on here are being more "real" in some ways than they are in their real lives. This is where people feel free and safe to talk about their secret memories, kinks, quirks, fetishes, and fantasies. The things we're all too ashamed to admit to the ones we know and even (or especially) the ones we love. The worst that can happen if someone doesn't approve of you on here is they ignore you, stop chatting with you, or maybe just give you a . The best that can happen is that, if you're honest and straightforward about your deepest or darkest self, you may find someone who shares similar memories or desires, and that can be both liberating and arousing.

And I have found that people get more "real" the more you chat with them in PMs. You may not ultimately LIKE the real version of someone, but you can be fairly certain that they're being honest if they tell you something that you know is hard for them to admit.

Anyway, the saying is that honesty is the best policy. That's not always true in our day-to-day lives. But I think it can be very valuable and beneficial on here. So just be honest, frank, and straightforward on here. More likely than not, you'll be glad that you were. If for no other reason than to unburden yourself, to just be able to tell SOMEONE how you really feel.

So that's my one cent.

 

[Lady2020]

Alright, I might as well put in my one cent. In my experience, I think most folks on here are being more "real" in some ways than they are in their real lives. This is where people feel free and safe to talk about their secret memories, kinks, quirks, fetishes, and fantasies. The things we're all too ashamed to admit to the ones we know and even (or especially) the ones we love. The worst that can happen if someone doesn't approve of you on here is they ignore you, stop chatting with you, or maybe just give you a . The best that can happen is that, if you're honest and straightforward about your darkest self, you may find someone who shares similar memories or desires, and that can be both liberating and arousing.

And I have found that people get more "real" the more you chat with them in PMs. You may not ultimately LIKE the real version of someone, but you can be fairly certain that they're being honest if they tell you something that you know is hard for them to admit.

Anyway, the saying is that honesty is the best policy. That's not always true in our day-to-day lives. But I think it can be very valuable and beneficial on here. So just be honest, frank, and straightforward on here. More likely than not, you'll be glad that you were. If for no other reason than to unburden yourself, to just be able to tell SOMEONE how you really feel.

So that's my one cent.

My experience has been different. Say you're upfront with someone from beginning. The guy seems to be upfront as well. A little later it's 100+ kinks and his thinking he can coerce you into things you don't have an interest in, that you were upfront about. This isnt a one off.

 

[Greylag]

Alright, I might as well put in my one cent. In my experience, I think most folks on here are being more "real" in some ways than they are in their real lives. This is where people feel free and safe to talk about their secret memories, kinks, quirks, fetishes, and fantasies. The things we're all too ashamed to admit to the ones we know and even (or especially) the ones we love. The worst that can happen if someone doesn't approve of you on here is they ignore you, stop chatting with you, or maybe just give you a . The best that can happen is that, if you're honest and straightforward about your deepest or darkest self, you may find someone who shares similar memories or desires, and that can be both liberating and arousing.

And I have found that people get more "real" the more you chat with them in PMs. You may not ultimately LIKE the real version of someone, but you can be fairly certain that they're being honest if they tell you something that you know is hard for them to admit.

Anyway, the saying is that honesty is the best policy. That's not always true in our day-to-day lives. But I think it can be very valuable and beneficial on here. So just be honest, frank, and straightforward on here. More likely than not, you'll be glad that you were. If for no other reason than to unburden yourself, to just be able to tell SOMEONE how you really feel.

So that's my one cent.

I think that’s a bloody good summary of how I see things too. I have shared stuff on here with people I trust that I haven’t with anyone else in RL. I think the cloak of anonymity helps too but once you build a connection on here even that falls away!

I love that I can express feelings in one way or another that as you say is probably the”true me”. At 3.00 in the morning I am away to bed!