How to explain

[Ebonyfire]

Why?

I do not explain anything about myself to anyone. I do not explain why I am heterosexual, why I am an agnostic, why I have dreadlocked hair, why I moved to the east coast...the list goes on and on.

I do not need to explain my actions to friends or foes.

As Billie Holiday sang "if I take a notion to jump in the ocean, ain't nobody's bizness if I do".

 

[MissTaken]

For me, these conversations have happened in two contexts.

One was with a lit friend that I know in real life. He has questions and interest, but stops short of being able to comprehend some of the fine tuning stuff.

The other dear friend consoled me last year after the end of a relationship with a Dominant. This was very difficult for me as I felt a greater loss than when I left my ex husband. (I recognize the mind fuck now)

None the less, I have tried to explain some of this stuff to my friend and while he is intrigued by some of the sexual activities, he can't understand why I need what I need and why I want what I want.

So that is how I found myself in a position to want to tr to explain.

In any event, it seems progressively outting one's self is good practice.

 

[lark sparrow]

What an interesting and thought provoking thread.

I am sorry for digressing , but being a Brit sometimes have problems with your abreviations what is Larksparrows mother - MFCC - I am wracking my brains and sure my imagination has gone off at a tangent.

jon

Sorry, Jon lol . Marriage, family, child counselor - a therapist.

 

[FungiUg]

[...] How do you explain to someone with no background or understanding that BDSM goes far beyond kinky sex?

Or, how have you explained this ?

I haven't had to face this one yet. Do they need to know about it being more than kinky sex? You could simplify it and say "it's pretty much kinky sex" and leave it at that?

 

[Pure]

Ebony Fire said,


I do not explain anything about myself to anyone. I do not explain why I am heterosexual, why I am an agnostic, why I have dreadlocked hair, why I moved to the east coast...the list goes on and on.

I do not need to explain my actions to friends or foes.

As Billie Holiday sang "if I take a notion to jump in the ocean, ain't nobody's bizness if I do".

Thank you for explaining why you do not explain.

 

[Pure]

To Lark Sparrow,

Don't try to kid us; a check on Google revealed the real meaning of your mom's letters,


MFCC


One of the types of objects in PRAAT.

An object of type MFCC represents mel frequency cepstral coefficients as a function of time. The coefficients are represented in frames with constant sampling interval.

not to speak of her employment at


Middlesborough Football Community Center.

 

[lark sparrow]

Fighting Words

To Lark Sparrow,

Don't try to kid us; a check on Google revealed the real meaning of your mom's letters,

MFCC
not to speak of her employment at

Middlesborough Football Community Center.

Say what? Oh no, you didn't!! Better not be saying my momma wears shoulder pads and a helmet!

 

[psiberzerker]

BDSM can "go beyond kinky sex", but it doesn't have to. Just as it can be broken into it's constituent parts, so to can it be done to variable degrees. There's a world of difference between the guy who likes the scratch marks down his back, or the girl that gets of on being ordered into bed and a full time collared sub.