how to get a date...

How about, alongside your attempts to get a date, you get more socially involved with a woman or three with whom dating is very clearly not on. Like for instance the wife or girlfriend of a really good buddy. You say you have no women friends. I reckon having two or three friendships with women in which sexual chemistry is left to one side, would enable you for some success in the dating project.


That is a good tip. I used to have a lot of married friends and friends with girlfriends that all tried to help me. Gave me tips, tried to introduce me to other girls etc. Nothing ever came of it. All of those friends are dead except one and he is divorced and single now and having a hard time like I am. Once my friends died I never stayed in contact with their wives or girlfriends.
 
As my fishing mentor told me once, there are more fish out there than you can shake a fishing stick at. The key to landing one is presentation and perseverance.

I never tried to hook up with anyone in a bar. Women in bars are either looking for a relaxing drink with friends, or are on a one night stand binge looking for notches in their bedpost. There are very few long term relationships to be found in a bar. Ditto for similar places (Starbucks, restaurants, etc.). People go to those places for reasons other than finding a relationship.

Not that anyone goes someplace for that actual reason. The relationship happens sort of accidentally as they fall into it. So, you need to figure out where people go to stumble into a relationship when they weren't looking for one.

Look in places where you find people with similar interests to yours. You like sailing? Join a Yacht Club and sign on as crew every chance you get. Invite that cute girl who caught your eye at the marine chandler to crew with you. (A-hah a plan!) Like the theater? Join your local one as a prop guy if you have no other experience and offer to help build sets. Offer to buy coffee afterward for everyone, including that cutie who bosses everyone around all the time.

Canoeing, skiing, biking, museum visiting, swap meeting, it's all good if you ASK SOMEONE TO GO WITH YOU. See what I'm saying here? Join orgs and groups in person and participate in their activities. Friending someone on Tweeter doesn't get you dates.

Also, you need to realize that this is a long term project. You aren't going to be successful the first time out. Or the second. Maybe not even the third or fourth. Or fifth. However, you have to keep at it and learn what went right and what went wrong and why. To do that you have to keep asking for a date and examining the responses. Try try try.

I totally disagree with Que about the touching thing. Women get grabbed, fondled, groped, ass patted and manhandled from an early age. Most of them absolutely HATE it! Why? Because it's done without permission or consent.

However, that doesn't mean that consent or an invitation is definitively expressed. It can be something as simple as leaning closer to whisper something to you. Well, whispering something other than 'Fuck Off Creep'.

Never give up.
A lot of people with reading comprehension problems disagree with me. I said exactly the opposite of what you're saying I said. If you do not understand the concept of non sexual touch than you go on and enjoy the monastery.

I guarantee you your plan will never ever get anyone laid and if they're not willing to think about fucking you they're not willing to date you.
 
I never hadda problem getting a date because my methods & madness are/were simple and effective.

A date with me was a guaranteed great meal plus whatever activity she wanted to do. Ted Williams hit the ball 40% of the time, and I did about as well getting laid on the first date.

My wife was impressed I didn't take her to a bar. We went to the best Italian restaurant in town and to a movie.
 
I never hadda problem getting a date because my methods & madness are/were simple and effective.

A date with me was a guaranteed great meal plus whatever activity she wanted to do. Ted Williams hit the ball 40% of the time, and I did about as well getting laid on the first date.

My wife was impressed I didn't take her to a bar. We went to the best Italian restaurant in town and to a movie.

Great comment! And great avatar too! BAM!!!!!!
 
Great comment! And great avatar too! BAM!!!!!!

Dating isn't like winning a teddy bear at the fair.

Treat her well and you may get a 2nd shot down the road if she knows youre not cheap and stingy. Take her some place she don't gotta lie about back at work.

WE WENT TO OUTBACK, I MEAN IT AINT LIKE CHEZ TEXACO, BUT IT WAS GOOD.

Someone treated me to hotdogs at Texaco, once!
 
wow ... so much advice ... so many words ... so many complications
make it simple ...

show interest in her, ask questions, make her important
when she fiddles with her hair, touch her wrist

stare into her eyes
do what comes next
 
A lot of people with reading comprehension problems disagree with me. I said exactly the opposite of what you're saying I said. If you do not understand the concept of non sexual touch than you go on and enjoy the monastery.

I guarantee you your plan will never ever get anyone laid and if they're not willing to think about fucking you they're not willing to date you.

Wonderful. A thread about how to find a date and you go off on wacky theories about non sexual touching meaning to start groping every woman you meet to find the one that will fuck you. Then you rag on someone who disagrees with you.

He's looking for a date asshole. Dates can sometimes lead to more, but you have to start with RESPECTING HER first. Grabbing every woman's ass trying to find the fuckable one doesn't get you anything except a restraining order.

Jesus Christ. Non sexual touching as a method to find a fuck buddy. Really? :rolleyes:

You going to cut up her steak for her? You think THAT'S going to get her into bed with you? Oh wait, I know, let's start with putting her hair up or fingering her bracelet or reaching behind to 'adjust' her clothes. Cuz she just loves being fondled by strangers dontchaknow.

When it comes to touching her, you have to ASK, not impose. She has to come to you, not the other way around. Hold out your hand in a request to assist her. If she accepts, you're good. If she doesn't, NOTHING YOU DO will change that.

But even if she accepts, it's still not an invitation to go to bed with you. Or for you to pat her ass. Or even kiss her goodnight.

It's a date. You go from there to talking to each other to find out if you're compatible or not. If yes, whoopie! Second base. Another date.

What you suggest is a license to be a looser. Good luck with the R.O.
 
I never tried to hook up with anyone in a bar. Women in bars are either looking for a relaxing drink with friends, or are on a one night stand binge looking for notches in their bedpost. There are very few long term relationships to be found in a bar. Ditto for similar places (Starbucks, restaurants, etc.). People go to those places for reasons other than finding a relationship.

People also go to the supermarket for reasons beyond finding a relationship - but I'm sure many a spark started in the frozen food section - so why not a bar?

The OP was about a date - didn't mention long term relationships or grab-arse. Catching up over a cup of coffee can be a date.

"on a one night stand binge looking for notches in their bedpost" - what the hell was that about? You feeling that you are missing out on something? Did you get turned down once? Maybe a little bed-notching would hit the spot just fine.

I sense a little tension in your replies HisArpy.
 
People also go to the supermarket for reasons beyond finding a relationship - but I'm sure many a spark started in the frozen food section - so why not a bar?

The OP was about a date - didn't mention long term relationships or grab-arse. Catching up over a cup of coffee can be a date.

"on a one night stand binge looking for notches in their bedpost" - what the hell was that about? You feeling that you are missing out on something? Did you get turned down once? Maybe a little bed-notching would hit the spot just fine.

I sense a little tension in your replies HisArpy.

^^^^^Our resident bar expert tho I'd look for her crawling along a curb around 2 most mornings.

I met my wife at a laundromat.
 
31 yrs old and still haven't figure this one out....

Honestly? Just start a conversation about something you noticed about the person (and I don't mean sexually) maybe "Hey" how stupid that sounds but it is true...or maybe "I love your hair (but only if you really like it). Don't try to make that person feel like you are really trying to hit on them. Just be yourself but be confident. Confidence goes a very long way.

I could go on but this might get you started, and I am not trying to make it sound really simple but it really is...just normal conversation...DO NOT RUSH ANYTHING...just let the conversation go where it goes...

Oh, and you probably won't meet someone other than maybe for sex at a bar...not saying you won't just most likely won't happen. People can be very open if they feel comfortable.

Don't hump their leg while talking to them just talk to them...I say it like that because that is my brothers problem (he is 45) he tries way too hard, and he asked me to teach him how to I do it...meaning how I am able to pick up women like I do...I have never had a problem finding a date (If I wanted one)...He is now married.
 
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What barefootgirl69 and HisArpy said.

Whether you're 18 or 81, be friendly, smile a lot, and be you. If they are interested, they will let you know. If they aren't interested, move on.

As my grandpappy said, "Fish where the fish are. You're wasting your time fishing where they aren't."
Grandma also said he who fish with large worm do much better than with small minnow.
 
date

Well........get a nice haircut, groom well (nose hair sticking out is gross), nice fresh breath, nice smile (get teeth fixed if they need it), dress neat and tidy, get some good aftershave etc.....not the cheap shit, neat clean nails, respect all the ladies because the one you have your eye on is watching this, smile often, never be loud or brag on your stuff, be confident and look her in the eyes when talking.......ask her out for coffee sometime. Never complain about anything or put anyone down.......big turn off.
But that is just my preference I suppose.....
 
Be upfront about your interest. Do not slither into it.
 
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Wonderful. A thread about how to find a date and you go off on wacky theories about non sexual touching meaning to start groping every woman you meet to find the one that will fuck you. Then you rag on someone who disagrees with you.

He's looking for a date asshole. Dates can sometimes lead to more you have to start with RESPECTING HER first. Grabbing every woman's ass trying to find the fuckable one doesn't get you anything except a restraining order.

Jesus Christ. Non sexual touching as a method to find a fuck buddy. Really? :rolleyes:

You going to cut up her steak for her? You think THAT'S going to get her into bed with you? Oh wait, I know, let's start with putting her hair up or fingering her bracelet or reaching behind to 'adjust' her clothes. Cuz she just loves being fondled by strangers dontchaknow.

When it comes to touching her, you have to ASK, not impose. She has to come to you, not the other way around. Hold out your hand in a request to assist her. If she accepts, you're good. If she doesn't, NOTHING YOU DO will change that.

But even if she accepts, it's still not an invitation to go to bed with you. Or for you to pat her ass. Or even kiss her goodnight.

It's a date. You go from there to talking to each other to find out if you're compatible or not. If yes, whoopie! Second base. Another date.

What you suggest is a license to be a looser. Good luck with the R.O.
The dating technique you learned on Nickelodeon does not work.

Dating by degrees? Seriously? They should just round first base, second base, third base... should they announce each base as they round it? What if while making out the girl guides their hands down her pants and they haven't felt up her tits yet ? Should they tell her to slow down it's in the wrong order? Which date do you scehdule the blowjob for? Should one type up agendas?

I agree with NightL; you obviously have some serious frustration and repressed sexuality issues. The subject was non-sexual touching and you keep talking about groping and grabbing women's asses. If that's what you want to do, find women that are willing to let you do. Assuming that that's the only way human beings touch each other that all touch as sexual is going on in your head not in women's minds. Do you cry rape when a male car salesman touches you at your elbow to steer you towards a car?

In theory there's nothing wrong with being a frotterist if you have the ability to discern when your advances are welcome or not. Since you clearly don't have that awareness I strongly suggest you keep your ass grabbing hands to yourself.
 
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This whole thread is hilarious.

I am not famous for my charm, and never heard of tact, but I slept with a married gal 45 times after I told her to go fuck herself. I learned that trick from a female boss who suggested that there's an art to telling people off. And I've observed numerous supervisors advise clients, etc to go fuck themselves. I hadda gorgeous intern tell me the same thing on one occasion, after I suggested she crawl under s trailer to discover what died. The trick involves what follows FUCK YOU.

Women have the same appetites men do, and usually their appetites vary depending on the last time they ate or fucked or slept or had any money. If its pussy you want, be patient. With time she'll put out.
 
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