How to last longer than 1 minute?

[Nezhul]

It's not working around it. This IS pacing yourself.
Slow breathing makes you less excited and makes you last longer.
PC training makes you last longer
Fit body makes you last longer
Clear mind makes you last longer.

If that's not "pacing yoursef" then I don't know what is. There is no magic pill like holding three fingers crossed that makes you just have sex for hours. Essentially, the more you do it the better you do. Just practice those things I told you for a few months before asking for something else. I assure you, it's plenty of tricks for a beginner.

 

[luckyseven]

Masturbate beforehand.

Mutual masturbation and oral helps me. But don't fret too much as it will get worse just retrain yourself by going slower and withdrawing to pause before penetrating again.

My wife was very understanding and we have more sex as a result!

 

[hevenin]

longer than 1 minute

Hello, I read a lot about premature ejaculation, but something doesn't work for me.

Me and my girl have sex for years. When we have vaginal sex, with condom I last 3 minutes, without condom less than 1 minute (we love a lot sex without condom) . When she gives me oral, I cum after 15 minutes. Twice we tried anal and I cum in 10 sec, but she no longer wants anal :-(.

It's very frustrating for me because I want to make her cum from vaginal sex and I can't . She does not complain, because I finish her every time by oral or fingers stimulation. But I want to give her orgasm by vaginal sex . I need some advises to desensitization my penis or my brain. I tried condoms with benzocaine, but after 4-5 minutes my erection is gone. I tried not to think about what I am doing, also to focus on my breath. I tried to think at different stuff (pets, my bills, politics etc.). I tried to masturbate before sex and doesn't give me extra stamina. I tried Kegel for weeks, no improvement. I didn't tried pills. I tried a spray from a sex shop and at first I resisted 10 minutes but now.... Has no effect.

Daily stress and fatigue does not help :-(. Last night I lick her to cum and then in doggystyle position I was over after 15 seconds...

What can I do?

Throw away the stopwatch and start enjoying the action.

 

[Mac98]

It's not working around it. This IS pacing yourself.
Slow breathing makes you less excited and makes you last longer.
PC training makes you last longer
Fit body makes you last longer
Clear mind makes you last longer.

If that's not "pacing yoursef" then I don't know what is. There is no magic pill like holding three fingers crossed that makes you just have sex for hours. Essentially, the more you do it the better you do. Just practice those things I told you for a few months before asking for something else. I assure you, it's plenty of tricks for a beginner.

I didn't express myself correctly. I wasn't insinuating that you're offering ways to work around instead of exercises to get better. I just felt the post seemed to say "there are ways to last longer" without necessarily saying what.

Is PC training like Kegels exercises?

 

[gemdave]

Have you tried edging on your own?
You need to learn your body signal and stop...breath, and start again.

I understand you want to make her cum vaginaly, but you are both enjoying yourself? That's great!

Work at edging...and the fun thing, is that even after you cum you keep going. Most men don't. You sound to be a considerate lover...and that my friend is all good.

So be patient with yourself...and go extra slow.

I am seeing my FWB tomorrow I have been edging since yesterday and she tells me she has been since Monday we like to tease each other and role play that I am trying to pick her up in a bar!

 

[pplwatching]

Is PC training like Kegels exercises?

Yes, the Pubococcygeus muscle is exercised during Kegels.

https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/Pubococcygeus_muscle.html

 

[JamesMiehoff]

When I was younger, I used to have a similar problem. I would spend so much time getting my partner horny and turning her on that I wouldn't realize that I was getting myself worked up at the same time.

When you have brought your partner off by eating her or finger fucking her, slowly lick your way up and kiss her. Focus on the sensations in your fingers or lips and let yourself cool down. If you find yourself too close to coming then just kiss her and cuddle for a little while before you penetrate her.

I find it is incredibly sexy getting my partner turned on and I find myself getting turned on turning her on. Sometimes having a little cool down time will help.

Or just get her to suck you off then return the favor. The second one always lasts longer.


James

 

[TarnishedPenny]

At the risks of belaboring the point, there are two separate issues here.

The first is being really turned on, which is good in every sense and which issue can be dealt with by, as has been suggested numerous times, masturbating first, getting her to give you head first, etc.

The second issue is entirely different. The individual is in effect always close to the edge, can almost never last long enough. For this, while a prior orgasm will slow the second down, it really doesn't solve the basic problem. Solving it, being able to last without having to have a quickie first, is entirely possible. But getting off very quickly first is not the way and it's not a cure. Reprogramming the brain (where the problem lies) takes a little work, like Nezhul has suggested. It also takes some time (like a few weeks). But that produces a permanent solution as opposed to a workaround.

Your call.

 

[Mac98]

Yes, the Pubococcygeus muscle is exercised during Kegels.

https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/Pubococcygeus_muscle.html

I’ve always heard that Kegel’s exercises were sort if a myth in regards to lasting longer in bed...
Or did I just assume it was a myth?

 

[Nezhul]

They contribute if you look into mechanics of it. There are a lot of factors in play when it comes to male orgasm, one of which is tension in certain areas, particularly around the prostate. The other is exhaustion - your body will "want" to cum fast if you feel exhausted.

Trained kegels may help you reduce some of that tension. They also make you tire less (ang being fit in general contribute to the same thing). Thus, in these two ways, they help you with purely physiological aspects of fast orgasm.

There are of course other things at play. But it's definitely worth it to do kegels either way, especially considering that it doesn't really cost you much at all. As pointed out in pretty much every article about them - you can do them discreetly in the office while reading through a boring paperwork or sitting in a routine meeting.

 

[amofiga]

One of the solutions to lasting longer is to get older. LOL!! When I was a teenager, it was about a minute and done. That was probably because back then, it seemed like if I was lucky enough to get a girl's panties off, it was a race to get into her and cum before she changed her mind.

But as I got older, much older, and there was much better communication and a lot more oral, it was better and much longer. I actually found, contrary to what some would suggest, the more I talked during sex and the more she talked and the more I watched from positions that allowed it, the longer I lasted. It was like moving "out of body" and watching a porno movie or something. I can't explain it. But then again, I'm taking more about sex when I was 50 then when I was 20.

 

[masculinbrain]

I let the first one go. Then, when I get hard again, I can go at it a second time and last a while.

I'm surprised no one mentioned Dapoxetine i.e. Priligy. It really works. Within 40 minutes of taking the tablet, I feel a bit of indigestion in my stomach, but it's short lived. After that , the effect lasts for 3-4 hours.

It can be weird for the first time. I push and thrust, enjoying every moment. All is great. Only that inner reflex of ejaculation doesn't kick in. Sometimes, I get desperate, push some more, rest when exhausted, then push again. The redeeming feature comes when I realise she's fighting for her own orgasm. We fight together, most often we succeed. It's a marriage saver.

Over time, I learned that she doesn't like more than 20 minutes of intercourse. Everyone is different.

I'm buying Dapoxetine from online websites. Only once in 6 years, I got a batch which seems ineffective, but it's a small price to pay, so I ordered again from another site. By and large, the Indian manufacturers are honest.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

I'm not sure why but if I stop and put my tongue up against the roof of my mouth, it helps.

interesting --, about the tongue on the roof of the mouth;
that's the same technique to stop a sneeze

 

[CandiCame]

I have a couple of suggestions but idk if anyone has mentioned them or not because I didn't read the second page of the thread.

1: Cock rings, straight up. They're not super expensive and they'll help both during intercourse and if you practice with them. Get one for the base and one for right under the head, and then jack off for as long as you can stand it to learn where your limits are. Edge as long as you can. Work with them until you can get to a good headspace where you don't need them.

2: Actual, non-sexy exercise, particularly strength training for your core and cardio for stamina. These things related to sex because they help you get into this headspace where you know you can push yourself. As you gain more physical, non-sexy stamina, it carries over to the bedroom.

3: Practice edging- when you're jacking off, you know what it feels like when you're about to cum, so as soon as feel that coil in your gut about to spring and those nuts draw up- dead stop. Just go still. Take some deep breaths down to your diaphragm and let it kind of wash over you, but don't lean into it, just wait for it to recede- then start up again. As you get better about knowing yourself, you'll get to a point where you don't have to dead stop, you just have to slow down. Then you can take that skill and move it into the bedroom.

That's my two cents.

 

[CandiCame]

This is just wrong.

There is no inborn "capacity" to last longer or cum faster. No.
ALL men, without exception, are capable of lasting as long as the king of sex himself. This ability is just as common in us as the ability to walk on two legs.

BUT, sexual stamina is a skill, not an ability. And it should be treated as such - learned, developed and practiced. Some people simply have natural gift and have a basic understanding of what the right way is - others need help with it.

In fact, understanding that your body is fully capable of lasting long is a very good first step in mastering one's stamina. Performance anxiety, just like any other anxiety - is your enemy, a thing that undermines your stamina a lot.
I'm not talking about blind belief here, or repeating the "I can last longer" 100 times in front of the mirror like mantra. I'm talking about understanding. Humans are one of the rare few animals for whom sex lasts longer than a few seconds.
Why is that? It's not there for us to enjoy it! No. It is detrimental to make ourselves vulnerable for such a long time, so why is it that we developed such an odd quality? We could, you know, be like moose - aim carefully, then do 1 hard deep thrust - and both you and your lady orgasm, then go each their own way.

It's not without a reason that we have longer sex times. It's an evolutionary adaptation, that out species developed. And as such, barring extremely rare genetic circumstances - EVERY man has this adaptation. I'm not a biologist but I've heard a theory that this has to do with attempt by nature of physically clearing another man's sperm (should it be there) from woman's reproductive organs, literally creating small negative pressure that pulls the swimmers slightly back and messes with their ability to reach the egg cell. Remember, that it takes up to two days for them to reach the egg cell, so there's time. Basically, from nature's perspective, the longer you fuck - the more you mess up the previous contender's payload, thus giving your own more chances to reach the goal and procreate.

Again, this is an evolutionary adaptation that every man has from birth.

Telling men that it's a question of natural ability is just letting them down, really.

But sexual stamina is a skill, just as I said before. And as every skill, it can be done wrong, or it can be done right without you actively learning it. Some men just naturally discover such things as keeping a calm mind, or maybe they are not involved enough to feel anxious about their performance - and that serves them well.
Other men, have a lot of anxieties, and it serves them badly. Furthermore, with each bad performance those anxieties grow and grow. Or they find a workaround (like cumming fast then having round #2) and never try to improve.

But you should improve, I think.

I mean not for nothing, but if we're treating this like a cold business for reproduction thing, the advantage may very well be repeat customers and referrals.

The better you are at sex, the more people are going to want to have sex with you, and therefore the more reproductive chances you have. Mate selection is a huge part of evolution and performance is as important as plumage for that kind of thing.

Though I do think birds were onto something with the 'dress up and dance' thing. Not in the pickup artist form of peacocking, but in the way that actual peacocks do it.

 

[Jerryluvsoral]

It is nothing to do with you and there is nothing natural that you can do to change your bodies sexual capacity. There is a biological and physiological disparity between male and female human’s sexual capacity. Some men can fuck long enough to make a woman cum. Especially if she cums easily like I do. However, most women are capable of multiple orgasms. So, even if you use unnatural sprays and pills and vacuums you are still fighting nature. You might get her off once but then what? That is enough because that is all that you can do? The solution is to get over jealousy and being possessive. If you love her more than you love yourself and you want her to experience sex to the degree that she is capable, not the degree that you are capable, then share her body with other safe guys. My husband is very good in bed and can fuck me to orgasm but I can have 20 or 30 orgasms or more. So, he shares me so that I can enjoy my potential and he ends up having more sex than ever in his life and more intense sex because it drives him wild to watch me fuck. Of course that is a socially shocking concept to many. And therein we find the real problem. Social taboos that are unnatural lead to frustrations. Unhealthy jealousy leads to frustration. If you have sincere questions PM me.

If I'm in her pussy fucking a girl when she cums I find I can't resist cumming with her for that ultimate extreme pleasure, Mutual Orgasm! My solution is to do what I love, lick her to orgasm first, hopefully multiples. My wife is multi-orgasmic with oral and loves to return the favor in kind, so we do more oral than anything else. When I was younger, 20's and early 30's I was multi-orgasmic in the sense I could cum twice without losing my erection, and short minutes to be ready again. Not that way anymore, but sometimes wonder if it would be different with a hot new girl rather than routine married sex?

 

[IsItBad]

2 cents

Hello, I read a lot about premature ejaculation, but something doesn't work for me.

Me and my girl have sex for years. When we have vaginal sex, with condom I last 3 minutes, without condom less than 1 minute (we love a lot sex without condom) . When she gives me oral, I cum after 15 minutes. Twice we tried anal and I cum in 10 sec, but she no longer wants anal :-(.

It's very frustrating for me because I want to make her cum from vaginal sex and I can't . She does not complain, because I finish her every time by oral or fingers stimulation. But I want to give her orgasm by vaginal sex . I need some advises to desensitization my penis or my brain. I tried condoms with benzocaine, but after 4-5 minutes my erection is gone. I tried not to think about what I am doing, also to focus on my breath. I tried to think at different stuff (pets, my bills, politics etc.). I tried to masturbate before sex and doesn't give me extra stamina. I tried Kegel for weeks, no improvement. I didn't tried pills. I tried a spray from a sex shop and at first I resisted 10 minutes but now.... Has no effect.

Daily stress and fatigue does not help :-(. Last night I lick her to cum and then in doggystyle position I was over after 15 seconds...

What can I do?

i usually just divert my mind to something that pisses me off.....like the IRS and taxes that are due.....or the latest stupid thing someone like AOC has said.....there is a fine line though between just diverting your thoughts and maintaining and just getting ill and not even wanting to finish

mechanically what others have said is all good too....jack off first.....eat her and get her close to the edge first before you ever enter inside her.....

nothing you say sounds too abnormal to me....its just learning some control....the tightness of anal, as an example is always prone to make for a quick orgasm....

as a last ditch effort, some of those lubes have some deadening effect that just makes your dick feel numb.....we have played around with some of those.....they do work....but in my experience you might not ever cum …...but stay hard long as you want to

if you could post some pics of you and her fucking we might could get some additional information

 

[policywank]

It is nothing to do with you and there is nothing natural that you can do to change your bodies sexual capacity. There is a biological and physiological disparity between male and female human’s sexual capacity. Some men can fuck long enough to make a woman cum. Especially if she cums easily like I do. However, most women are capable of multiple orgasms. So, even if you use unnatural sprays and pills and vacuums you are still fighting nature. You might get her off once but then what? That is enough because that is all that you can do? The solution is to get over jealousy and being possessive. If you love her more than you love yourself and you want her to experience sex to the degree that she is capable, not the degree that you are capable, then share her body with other safe guys. My husband is very good in bed and can fuck me to orgasm but I can have 20 or 30 orgasms or more. So, he shares me so that I can enjoy my potential and he ends up having more sex than ever in his life and more intense sex because it drives him wild to watch me fuck. Of course that is a socially shocking concept to many. And therein we find the real problem. Social taboos that are unnatural lead to frustrations. Unhealthy jealousy leads to frustration. If you have sincere questions PM me.

While I don't agree with all of this there is some truth here. As others have said a man can "train" himself to last longer so it is not inevitably about his limited stamina. But that doesn't make his sexual capacity equal to a woman's. Because it is equally true that a woman has the capacity for essentially unlimited orgasms whereas a man does not. A man's ability to last longer is the result of training himself not to cum....I am not aware of any man being able to train himself to cum as many times as he wants. I am not saying such men don't exist but I haven't seen one and even if they do exist I believe it would be erroneous to claim that any man can condition himself to achieve as many consecutive orgasms as he wants.

So the claim that men and women are sexually equal is implicitly based in the premise that the only measure is how long can you last. But that isn't all there is to it. Sometimes I want to be pounded hard and have a man cum in me. Then I want to do that again and again. The hard pounding which he needs to control to extend his staying power is precisely what makes me orgasm - if a man slows down and goes tantric on me that might help him last longer but in the process he isn't giving me the fucking that I want. Having him cum in me is part of the psychological element of the experience that contributes to my orgasms - if he is extending his longevity by not cumming then he isn't giving me what I want.

Too often people then get into trying to tell me to learn to take it slow or whatever. No that doesn't hold up to scrutiny. If your argument rests on convincing me that I should want something different than what I want then the argument fails. Invalidating my feelings or desires is not the path to a logical argument. In fact, it is the path to a failed argument because it leads the discussion inevitably back to men trying to set the parameters to suit them. That takes me back to the beginning. I am not disagreeing with the fact that men can train themselves to last much longer.....I am disagreeing with the premise that longevity is the sole or most important criteria for assessing a sexual disparity

There is a sexual disparity. Women can fuck as vigorously or as gently as we want with effectively unlimited capacity for orgasm. Men can't. Lasting long without regard to whether you compromise my sexual experience precisely as I want to enjoy it is not a sufficient argument to prove "equality."

I can fuck a man in whatever way is optimal to him and leave him sated to the point of being unable to engage in further sex. And my capacity to "last long enough" does not require me to compromise the experience I offer him in any way whatsoever (unless I am simply not in good enough physical condition). Then I could go and do the same for ten other men if I want.

No man can do that. He can last a long time but only if he compromises the experience he offers me. Or he can give me the experience that I want with limited capacity.

It may just so happen that what I want is long slow tantric sex without him ejaculating or with limited ejaculations. I have done this many times and sometimes I do genuinely prefer it to the hard fuck and cum I described above. But it isn't intrinsically better or worse, just different. There a million different ways of coming at a sexual experience but it is only the ones that are perfectly in sync with the objective of making the man last longer by minimizing the number of times he cums wherein the man is truly able to keep up in every possible way.

Looking only at the scenario that is specifically designed to mitigate the reality of the disparity of sexual capacity is like my paraplegic friend matching or beating me in a wheel chair race and claiming that is proof of the absence of a physical disparity between us.....while ignoring the fact that I can get up and walk away and he cannot. If we both have equal practice he can match me in one scenario of mobility and falls well short in all others - that is a disparity.

I've been there with many guys. I very much appreciate it when they take appropriate measures to last longer. It greatly improves our sexual experience. But only in the context that it is just the two of us. The pause and distract or tantric or any number off other methods used to slow down his ejaculation does affect my experience. Sure I would rather he do that and last longer than cum in me in 30 seconds and it is all over.....but that is because those are my only two choices. If I had the choice of being vigorously fucked over and over again and it just so happens that it takes multiple men to have the stamina to do that.....yes please that is optimal. That is the equivalent of what I can offer to a man which he cannot offer to me.

 

[jehoram]

i usually just divert my mind to something that pisses me off.....like the IRS and taxes that are due.....or the latest stupid thing someone like AOC has said....

That wouldn't work for me. I find AOC extremely hot!

 

[ICM8781]

Practice:
You might be more aware when you're masturbating, so masturbating is best. Your vas defrens hold back the semen, and you can work it out like any muscle. It's also connected to the muscle you urinate with, so if you stop and start several times every time you're urinating, you can also work out the muscle that way.

 

[Hardnippled]

Hello, I read a lot about premature ejaculation, but something doesn't work for me.

Me and my girl have sex for years. When we have vaginal sex, with condom I last 3 minutes, without condom less than 1 minute (we love a lot sex without condom) . When she gives me oral, I cum after 15 minutes. Twice we tried anal and I cum in 10 sec, but she no longer wants anal :-(.

It's very frustrating for me because I want to make her cum from vaginal sex and I can't . She does not complain, because I finish her every time by oral or fingers stimulation. But I want to give her orgasm by vaginal sex . I need some advises to desensitization my penis or my brain. I tried condoms with benzocaine, but after 4-5 minutes my erection is gone. I tried not to think about what I am doing, also to focus on my breath. I tried to think at different stuff (pets, my bills, politics etc.). I tried to masturbate before sex and doesn't give me extra stamina. I tried Kegel for weeks, no improvement. I didn't tried pills. I tried a spray from a sex shop and at first I resisted 10 minutes but now.... Has no effect.

Daily stress and fatigue does not help :-(. Last night I lick her to cum and then in doggystyle position I was over after 15 seconds...

What can I do?

I have had lots of different ejaculation timing problems mostly not lasting long enough. Now I can last for hours. But something helped me along the way.if you gf can edge you three or four times orally or by hand or both. That will usually do the trick. When we were doing that I could last for at least a half hour. Give it a try. But now I'm in a phase where I don't have that problem at all. My gf and I love it. We can fuck for hours. Good luck with that.

 

[jp55665566]

Set a clock/watch where you can see it. The pleasure of sex contains a sort of timeless component. If you want to "not cum", just look at the clock and you'll realize it's only been a couple minutes. It helps.

 

[uncle easy]

If you said how long before you could get hard again I missed it. You might try wanking yourself off about an hour before starting with your true love. That will probably help some. In my way of thinking,,, getting her off as many times as you can is the main thing. Then after she has cumm several times turn yourself loose and let go.