How to write characters thinking

[cocput]

This is definitely what I'd prefer to do, and would probably write myself, but again, that doesn't mean it's correct. Another option is to just find another way to write it.

Alice turned towards Bob and asked, "Bob, do you want me to make some cookies for you?"​

"No, Ms. Alice." Bob tried not to dwell on her huge breasts. "Thank you, though."​

That's just a suggestion, there are better ways. If the style isn't working for you, you're free to find alternative wording.

I was also thinking of going to option 3.
The intended word play is using the term used in thought and the term expressed later by the speaker. I was concentrating more on the usage jugs in the above conversation. I didn't feel like putting an example which was more provocative, as I had suggested in post 25. But, you are right. I should try to be less obsessive about writing thoughts.

Actually, it does; I do it all the time.

Earlier, I was uncomfortable using italics, because I thought I couldn't do it without third party interference. Those comments were posted before I read "Bold or Italic". I had consulted with Darkniciad, and now I am more aware of live stories where the author has used the HTML tags.

 

[cocput]

Update:

I found a link to a simple pdf file that talks about writing dialogues by Victory Crayne.

Google search term:

Dialogue "Victory Crayne"​

The first pdf link.


Hope that this might be useful for those who had the same doubt.

And, yes, the examples use CMS guidelines.

 

[RedMonkeyButt]

Personally, for Lit publication I stick with italics. I don't embed HTML, though. I attach everything as .rtf and leave a note that I want the formatting to remain the same.

However, this is the easy way out for me. At the same time I'm using italics to denote thoughts, I'm also using them for flashbacks, for mind-to-mind conversations (if any), and in the event the character is reading a note or letter. In Succubus Rising, that meant a lot of italics.

When I have a piece accepted for a magazine or anthology, I don't use italics unless it's absolutely necessary. Most of the time, they don't come up in a short story for me. When my character thinks, they think in straight roman font with no quotes. For publication, the italics are saved for emphasis (and used only rarely for it) and the occasional mind-speak that might happen.

I realize that some of this touches on the personal quirks thing. I tend to write everything and then go back to edit. If it's being posted here for the hell of it, I leave any italics in most of the time. If it's being published for general reading in exchange for money, I edit it with the style guide of the publishers choice in mind.

The first is a sheer case of the lazies, while the latter keeps me in good with the editors at the three magazines I've written for. If they like me, then maybe they'll keep reading (and accepting) my work. If they have to fight me on it, I'm pretty sure they'll get tired of it quicker.

To be honest, if you're writing for your own fun, use the style that works best for you. If you're writing with the hope that one day it will be available to the masses and you will get paid for it, use the guidelines required by the publisher. I've actually had one short story edited three different ways before it was accepted for a magazine. When you write for fun, you write for yourself and just let it fall where it may. When you write for money, you write how the buyer tells you to write, and you pretend to like it.

This was rambling and probably a bit wobbly, but I understood it.