How would You keep the attention of a submissive with ADD/ADHD

[Primalex]

I didn't either until I had my daughter. She is diagnosed with ADHD and severe learning disabilities. I fought for years to keep her off meds. Her 3rd grade teacher finally sat me down a few years ago and said I was hurting her by keeping her off meds. She asked me if she had been diagnosed with diabetes world I deny her insulin? So I tried her on meds and she's a much happier child who can actually learn and enjoy school now. If she misses a dose of her Adderall she tells me she can't concentrate or think, she says on the meds she feels normal. That's all the proof I need.

Children without ADHD concentrate and work better with Adderall, too.

You found a solution to a problem. But this doesn't mean that you can conclude from the solution to the problem or even validate that the problem existed.

Let's change the illness.

Your daughter wakes up every day with a headache.
Your daughter takes every morning a pain reliever and everything is fine.

Everyone would immediately say:"Oh, you are fixing symptoms here!"
But when pharmacy comes up and says:"Oh, daily headache? THAT is the Chronic Painful Head Disorder, CPHD! No problem, take this pill and you will feel better."
Now everyone is quiet, although nothing changed at all, they just turned the symptom into the cause.

And this system is so successful, because everyone wins!
The doctor wins, he can solve your problem, quite easily, just has to whip out his prescription pad.
The pharmacy totally wins, they have a life-long customer.
The teacher wins, he has no trouble anymore.
You win, you feel better, because your daughter will acknowledge that she feels much better now without the headache.
Your daughter wins, because, yes, she does feel much better, since taking the pills and hey, without the headaches, she does much better in school.

Everyone wins.

Nobody needs to care now that the headache is caused by the worn-out mattress.

And when your daughter finally reaches adulthood and moves out and sleeps in a bed with a better mattress, she still takes the pain relievers. After all, she has CPHD and sometimes she tries to go without them, but the headache returns then immediately, even when sleeping in the new bed. This proves the diagnosis to be correct, doesn't it?

(Parents actually win twice with the ADHD diagnosis - they get a solution and absolution at the same time. How could a totally fucked up environment and upbringing be the reason?)

I really don't want to belittle your problems and I don't think you are doing anything wrong per se. But when there is not a single scientific study that compares the brain scans of ADHD children with normal children as control group, I'm getting rather wary.

 

[nh23]

http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/News/Media-office/Press-releases/2011/WTX064081.htm

http://www.adhd.org.nz/neuro1.html

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1683069,00.html

There are multiple studies that show differences in brain scans in children with ADHD and typical children. Here are 3 I found in just a few minutes that were not funded by drug companies etc..

I have to do what is best to raise my child, and make the decisions that are right for her. If her learning disabilities and lack of focus are cause by another catalyst other than ADHD we have not been offered another solution or cause. The pediatrician she sees is one we had to wait months to get into because he is a leading expert in his field. I trust he does what is best for her and I believe his diagnosis to be accurate. If we call it ADHD or something else makes no difference to me. Fact still remains she is in fifth grade with a reading level of a first grader and had multiple issues with learning. Despite my husband and I and the school working with her on reading on a daily basis.

I totally agree that some parents medicate their children for connivence which is why I fought for so many years to keep her off medication. The hyperactivity does not bother me, as her brother is a very hyperactive little boy, however the difference is she has a multitude of problems with learning and he does not. Therefore she has the ADHD diagnosis and is medicated, and we consider him a typical little boy. The only things that have helped her to date are her medication and being in special classes in school. I respect your right to disbelieve whatever it is you want. Just my experience with a child with this diagnosis. YMMV

 

[Primalex]

http://www.adhd.org.nz/neuro1.html

There are multiple studies that show differences in brain scans in children with ADHD and typical children. Here are 3 I found in just a few minutes that were not funded by drug companies etc..

Honey, Zametkins studies are deprecated since 1993, when his attempt to repeat his own findings in another study totally and utterly failed. The fact that an ADHD information website fails to mention this tiny little tidbit with this very cute brain scan images shows me that obviously ADHD websites are NOT about scientific facts. Strange, hm?

I have to do what is best to raise my child, and make the decisions that are right for her.

I know.

If her learning disabilities and lack of focus are cause by another catalyst other than ADHD we have not been offered another solution or cause.

Yes, this is the sad part and core of my criticism.

 

[nh23]

Honey, Zametkins studies are deprecated since 1993, when his attempt to repeat his own findings in another study totally and utterly failed. The fact that an ADHD information website fails to mention this tiny little tidbit with this very cute brain scan images shows me that obviously ADHD websites are NOT about scientific facts. Strange, hm?



I know.



Yes, this is the sad part and core of my criticism.

 

[Netzach]

I will not tell you how to live and raise your kids.

However, to point out some things why I believe what I believe; if someone is diagnosed with diabetes, they have a chemical difference in their body than a "nornal" person.

ADD/ADHD has no chemical or physical abnormalities, they just act differently which means it's behavioral.
Teachers "live" with your child for only a year and would probably suggest all children to be drugged so the teachers didn't have to work harder.

If a child got tired easily from walking to school, would you give them crutches or a wheelchair?

Horse shit and more of same.

Of course there's a chemical difference. If you do speed and you feel placid, guess what, your brain is not doing what other people's brains do. If I were to take M's Adderall, I would have a completely different experience, one of tooth grinding frenzied activity!

This is noxious bullshit. Just because something is overdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist and isn't debilitating for people who do legitimately have it.

I've seen my spouse overmedicated, with antidepressants and sleep meds tossed into this mix - and I've seen what happens when she cut back to ONLY adderall - there is nothing shameful or bad about appropriately medicating when nothing else seems to work, and nobody should have to submit "I jumped through the following hoops" before deciding to feel better.

Seriously, if you don't think it's "real" enough, kindly stfu. Whatever "it" is - fibro, ADD, cancer, whatever we're supposed to fix with diet prayer and scientology-- most people have tried NOT to be on meds. Most people have not callously thrown their children onto meds.

I hate the readiness of pharma, I hate the symptom-masking lack of inquiry, but nobody gives a flying fuck what you think "is real" or not.

 

[YoungGayCampDom]

Dyspraxic with unmedicated (but treated) ADD here. It does tend to be a neurological issue (for example, when mine is playing up badly it is a fucking nightmare to get me to finish a sentence/idea without fifty tangents). Having been badly burned in a relationship with a dude with entirely untreated (both unmedicated and refused any form of counselling) ADD and ADHD and massive impulsivity issues, I would say that it can cause issues with long term relationships, if communication isn't open/you don't acknowledge it as an obstacle.

If I subbed, the best way to discipline me would be to get me to stay very still, probably blindfolded, in a slightly tricky position with mild sensory stimulation and/or make me talk continuously while punishing me if I went off topic

 

[nh23]

Horse shit and more of same.

Of course there's a chemical difference. If you do speed and you feel placid, guess what, your brain is not doing what other people's brains do. If I were to take M's Adderall, I would have a completely different experience, one of tooth grinding frenzied activity!

This is noxious bullshit. Just because something is overdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist and isn't debilitating for people who do legitimately have it.

I've seen my spouse overmedicated, with antidepressants and sleep meds tossed into this mix - and I've seen what happens when she cut back to ONLY adderall - there is nothing shameful or bad about appropriately medicating when nothing else seems to work, and nobody should have to submit "I jumped through the following hoops" before deciding to feel better.

Seriously, if you don't think it's "real" enough, kindly stfu. Whatever "it" is - fibro, ADD, cancer, whatever we're supposed to fix with diet prayer and scientology-- most people have tried NOT to be on meds. Most people have not callously thrown their children onto meds.

I hate the readiness of pharma, I hate the symptom-masking lack of inquiry, but nobody gives a flying fuck what you think "is real" or not.

A great reminder of why I have crushed on you for years Netz. If a typical person took the dose of Adderall my daughter takes it would have the same effect on them as speed. When she takes it, we see the opposite. She calms down and is much more relaxed. The same is true if she takes something that would slow us down. Benadryl for example makes most people tired and relaxed. I made the mistake of giving her Benadryl once and she was jumping off the walls. She was so hyperactive and her thoughts were racing so much she cried and asked me to never give it to her again. Their brains do not work the same way as "typical" brains.

 

[desertslave]

Horse shit and more of same.

Of course there's a chemical difference. If you do speed and you feel placid, guess what, your brain is not doing what other people's brains do. If I were to take M's Adderall, I would have a completely different experience, one of tooth grinding frenzied activity!

This is noxious bullshit. Just because something is overdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist and isn't debilitating for people who do legitimately have it.

I've seen my spouse overmedicated, with antidepressants and sleep meds tossed into this mix - and I've seen what happens when she cut back to ONLY adderall - there is nothing shameful or bad about appropriately medicating when nothing else seems to work, and nobody should have to submit "I jumped through the following hoops" before deciding to feel better.

Seriously, if you don't think it's "real" enough, kindly stfu. Whatever "it" is - fibro, ADD, cancer, whatever we're supposed to fix with diet prayer and scientology-- most people have tried NOT to be on meds. Most people have not callously thrown their children onto meds.

I hate the readiness of pharma, I hate the symptom-masking lack of inquiry, but nobody gives a flying fuck what you think "is real" or not.

Crushing over here, too!

Sometimes a differential diagnosis is needed, and ADD tends to fall into that category. When I finally sought a diagnosis in college, one of the clinchers was the fact that I had dabbled with cocaine and had a very different reaction to it that most people. It calmed me down, would trim back several of those tangential thoughts that YGCD described above, allow me to focus for maybe an hour, then put me soundly to sleep! I had been a partial insomniac for years before coke.

I'm incredibly grateful for my diagnosis, since I didn't have to rot out my nose or accidentally get arrested with a shiny new scrip for dexedrine. Saved my sanity big time.

 

[KoPilot]

Mandatory, no, everyone's right, whoever said that is a douche.

Helpful to be appropriately medicated in LTR's versus not? Um, YES. In this case, it dampens down the adventure in crazy town and makes things manageable.

This said, I would not trade the advantages that M's unique chemistry brings to the table for anything, just sharpen the focus on the good parts the way meds do.

I neither spank, threaten, or list. I take advantage of the strengths and gloss over the weaknesses, otherwise, frankly, I'd be with someone else. It's part of the package.

I may not get the same tasks done for me that I would with someone else, but I always have someone catching my details, serving as a human calendar app, reminding me of minute things that I'd never notice in the first place, suggesting ways to do things I'd never thought of. Hypervigilance is pretty neat. Getting outside my own head and having to consider the world though their eyes has actually made me learn a lot of things.

You know, on the rare times that I see hypervigilance praised in any way... well, fuck. And coming from a D? It's even nicer.

Always that nagging voice in the back of my head that says being a neurodivergent s makes me impossible to handle and micromanagey in my own way. I mean, I know that I hear this from hub, but hearing from another D that it can be something special and valuable is just really nice. Thanks, Netz.

 

[Que]

I think FAR more effort is expended in proselytizing from the screaming anti-drug crowd....

It reminds me of how the religious that fall away spend more time screaming about the evils of organized religion then they did bringing people into the fold when they were devout.

My early input on the subject confirmed my own inbred anti-drug of any kind all natural crapola stance.

I was under the impression that children were being given sedatives to "keep them in line"

When I found out that they were being given STIMULANTS (pay attention here primalex, you fuck-wad) I was intrigued.

You think the drug companies make out like bandits on the cost of medications???

How about a SEVERAL BILLION dollar self interested group of counselors, psychologists (multiple visits) administrators seeking federal funding for "learning disabled" children and the like (well really trillions when you include the entire academic industrial complex)

You CLAIM that children WITHOUT ADD given a federally controlled class three drug in violation of hard limit mandatory sentencing laws, perform better as well.

REALLY???? Lets see that study.

Do college students report that borrowing someones pills helps with focus on a test? Yes...do you KNOW those kids are not appropriately self medicating?

You actually think the chemical brew in a diet coke consumed by the truckload by college students studying is beneficial and healthy? More so than a mild low dose stimulent, once safely consumed over the counter as dexatrim..and dexatrim the original didn't blow up anyone's heart.

You old enough to remember the 70's...cocaine....did you ever see someone take a line and NOT speed up? rather, sit in a chair and read a book?

Incongruent reaction to a drug IS DIAGNOSTIC you fuckwad.

According to your line of reasoning no one should ever consume anything psychoactive under any circumstances because you cant KNOW that with expensive hand-holding, coaching, and expensive specially designed curriculum wouldn't have been JUST as effective.

Oh wait there are NO studies showing any regimen of counseling, adaptive teaching or any other non-medical intervention has ANY effect on ADD kids.

As early as DSM-IV it was suggested that stimulants were the only proven effective treatment for ADHD and had an efficacy rate in the high 80's...

Why the fuck are these class of stimulants so tightly controlled and why do fuckwads feel qualified to pontificate on efficacy and safety...

For the record I never used any stimulants including caffeine until about age 35...my body responds marvelously to them it turns out. I am prescribed a child's dose and take about half of that usually. I SHOULD be more compliant but I tend not to take it at all if I am not in a working situation. I've witnessed the difference between various stimulants and the way I react versus others...people with ADHD near as I can tell (certainly true for me) cannot get high from them at least not in anything close to a safe dosage, yet those without the same makeup of chemical receptors in their brains can.

Those of you that are "anti-drug"...since you aren't MY medical professional, nor anyone I would choose to tell me how to best organize my life I didn't read in detail your dilettante take on the field nor will I be checking back for further input from you. in short, fuck off.

I don't tell you how much caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, diphenhydramine, ibuprofen, naproxin, guarine, refined sugar, tannins, artificial colors, fat, calories, and fiber free foods to consume.

brain scans are interesting but the field is in its infancy...there is not a SINGLE mental condition or so called disorder that can be definitively spotted by ANY scientific method...no DNA sequence...no pet-scan...no postmortem biopsy on criminal brains...we don't KNOW how the brain actually works with regards to feelings.

But people can tell us how they feel when given various substances and we can objectively measure their concentration on DIRECTED tasks on or off medications and it ISNT EVEN CLOSE.

 

[Que]

A great reminder of why I have crushed on you for years Netz. If a typical person took the dose of Adderall my daughter takes it would have the same effect on them as speed. When she takes it, we see the opposite. She calms down and is much more relaxed. The same is true if she takes something that would slow us down. Benadryl for example makes most people tired and relaxed. I made the mistake of giving her Benadryl once and she was jumping off the walls. She was so hyperactive and her thoughts were racing so much she cried and asked me to never give it to her again. Their brains do not work the same way as "typical" brains.

you are right...they work much better!


since I am currently off the wagon of compliance I need to be on to read Netz take on this....

If I am getting the antecedent of the pronouns right the ADHD party is described by her as hypervigilent?

If so I completely concur...always thought "deficit" is the wrong word...a person with add or adhd has a BETTER attention span than most that's why a LURP or a SEAL can sit in the bush for HOURS sometimes DAYS clicked on and just focus...they have something life or death to stare at.

Just because the ADD person isnt 'focused;' where YOU think the emphasis should be doesnt mean that they are not focused on something...the fact that you cannot see what/why/and where their focus is at that time is YOUR problem not theirs they are blissfully working on the kind of things that made great people like edison de vinci tesla and madame curie.

I laughed when a corporate Team Builder explained outside the box thinking...I have never been in a box in my life and don't care to.

I stand by my original post in this thread...foster an environment that encourages whimsy or medicate...your choice.

 

[Netzach]

you are right...they work much better!


since I am currently off the wagon of compliance I need to be on to read Netz take on this....

If I am getting the antecedent of the pronouns right the ADHD party is described by her as hypervigilent?

If so I completely concur...always thought "deficit" is the wrong word...a person with add or adhd has a BETTER attention span than most that's why a LURP or a SEAL can sit in the bush for HOURS sometimes DAYS clicked on and just focus...they have something life or death to stare at.

Just because the ADD person isnt 'focused;' where YOU think the emphasis should be doesnt mean that they are not focused on something...the fact that you cannot see what/why/and where their focus is at that time is YOUR problem not theirs they are blissfully working on the kind of things that made great people like edison de vinci tesla and madame curie.

I laughed when a corporate Team Builder explained outside the box thinking...I have never been in a box in my life and don't care to.

I stand by my original post in this thread...foster an environment that encourages whimsy or medicate...your choice.

Oh I've learned a ton. And yes, it's my spouse, and I believe my mother also. But not me.

ADD is not the sterotypical "kid bouncing off walls" all the time. It's also not always someone who can't prioritize, so much as someone who can go thirty levels deep into procedure and prioritization only to get lost when it's time to implement.

ADD is the person who's always running out of hot water in their own shower, because they go into their own mental land.

Yes, hypervigilance, oversaturation with detail, circular stories, and a complete inability to shut down the part of your head that free associates onto the next thing.

Medication doesn't necessarily mean killing the spark, or taking away the quirk, it sometimes just quiets it enough to make it more useful. If you're killing the quirk more than you like talk to your psych about massaging your dosages. Try the different options, because they're definitely different, if you use something fast acting consider split doses, find a psych who has a brain about this stuff.

Another popular self-medicaiton, perfectly legal and effective more for some than others- is coffee. If you or someone you love drinks a soda or coffee right before bed to relax, guess what, you might want to look into this "imaginary disease" if you're not liking your life.

 

[KoPilot]

It's ok, query. I know someone IRL who doesn't believe in mental illness or neurodiversity too. They were raised in a cult, have anger issues, and are one of the most miserable and emotionally-stunted people I've ever met. They also think their opinions are gospel.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If a child got tired easily from walking to school, would you give them crutches or a wheelchair?

Oddly enough, this was me.

And I NEVER fucking stopped getting tired easily walking to school.
And I was "Lazy" and "Dreamy" and "A Quiet Child" who "Didn't play well with others."

But I did better when I could get a ride to school, and not have to expend my energy on just getting there.

Turned out, my thyroid was eating itself. I woke up in a near coma one morning, that was how my parents came to figure out that children are NOT normally tired all the time.

It's a whole lot besides the point, but worth pointing out that you don't give the kid either crutches or a wheelchair-- you start finding out what the problem is. "ADHD" as a diagnosis is pretty much a farce. Like "Neurotic" was in the 60's, it's a catchall for a double-handful of specific issues that might concatenate on top of themselves.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Just to add one thought, and this is specifically for the idea of children being diagnosed as ADHD/ADD. There are other disorders out there that share common traits of ADD. Some of the characteristics are almost the same. Especially now that they have taken the hyperactivity and poor impulse control component out of the diagnosis.

 

[Netzach]

Oddly enough, this was me.

And I NEVER fucking stopped getting tired easily walking to school.
And I was "Lazy" and "Dreamy" and "A Quiet Child" who "Didn't play well with others."

But I did better when I could get a ride to school, and not have to expend my energy on just getting there.

Turned out, my thyroid was eating itself. I woke up in a near coma one morning, that was how my parents came to figure out that children are NOT normally tired all the time.

It's a whole lot besides the point, but worth pointing out that you don't give the kid either crutches or a wheelchair-- you start finding out what the problem is. "ADHD" as a diagnosis is pretty much a farce. Like "Neurotic" was in the 60's, it's a catchall for a double-handful of specific issues that might concatenate on top of themselves.

OK, let's say you DO have a full endocrine workout. And you've done the depression meds and thrown them away. And you can't figure out what's wrong having gone down about 1000 roads.

And you'd do exercise and diet if you could actually stop exhausting your willpower figuring out what to wear and bring to the gym before you get there. (And my gym bag should have a pocket for my ecigs, why doesn't it, you know I'm going to design a better one and make it....where's my paper...hey, look at how dusty it is up near the printer, I'd better hit that with some canned air.....oh look we're out, I've got to get some before I go to the gym....)

And your differential diagnosis winds up being ADD and adderall gives you your life back as much as treating your wayward thyroid would. If you felt better, if something gave you your life back would you toss the med and say "you know what, we haven't talked about my more or less OK upbringing for 1999043 sessions at the shrink yet, only about 20, I'd better find out the REAL problem!" No, of course not.

Why would you assume that ALL 7.5 percent of estimated people who have this are so stupid as to plunge headfirst into accepting whatever they're told by MD's?

Yes, 7.5 is absurd. Yes a certain percentage of these are being given meds in lieu of classroom management skills. A certain percentage of these are being misdiagnosed, MD's are great at that.

And a certain percentage of these actually need them. And they're not stupid and they're not dreaming, and they're not "just lazy" and they're not exactly like you and they're not exactly like me.

Whatever.

That's OK. We acted like ME was all in their head and called it "yuppie flu" and "fatique" for years, too, and no one will touch these people today. At least Norway is apologizing to its patients.

By all means question a diagnosis in kids. Question a diagnosis in yourself. Question the ever living FUCK out of your MD's, whatever the labs are telling you, use that and your internets. But sometimes if it quacks like a duck, screw it, it's a duck.

 

[leighannste17]

Your submissive gets distracted quite easily. What would You say and How would You keep Your sub focused?
HOW: spank
WHAT to say: Behave

I'd stay on one subject, and perform one task at a time.

Like if I was in the middle of hand-cuffing a guy, at the same time we'd be having a simple conversation about what's happening, and how he/she is feeling at the time.

 

[SirVPL]

I'd stay on one subject, and perform one task at a time.

Like if I was in the middle of hand-cuffing a guy, at the same time we'd be having a simple conversation about what's happening, and how he/she is feeling at the time.

Instruction thru guidance preventing distraction. Interesting. Turning a session into an adventure of sorts. Using Your voices to maintain focus.

 

[jpin]

I read an interesting book about ADD. It posed that people with it are not diseased or dis-ordered, they are hunters in a farmer's world.

Since dis-orders are defined by societies norms and expectations, and we needed mostly hunters, the farmers would have TSDD (task-switching-deficiency-disorder).

For instance a sales person is a hunter, and her assistant is a farmer. Taking care of the details and paperwork that good salespeople generally find excruciating.

She wants to go out and make her next kill, not shuffle paper.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Actually, I think ADD works very very well in a farming environment.

On a family farm, anyway

On a family farm there are a lot of daily tasks, none of which take a lot of time but most of which take some effort. Then there are the yearly tasks, which may take a lot of time and a lot of cooperation-- but then they are over with, and celebrations -- hopefully-- give everyone validation for their hard work.

 

[BiBunny]

I have serious difficulties with attention and concentration, and I have a tendency to lose large chunks of time. I've never been diagnosed with ADD, so I don't know if we can blame something like that or if it's just another aspect of all my other brain cooties.

Large amounts of caffeine and the stimulant properties of a medication that I'm on for other issues really help to clear the clutter out of my brain and get me pointed in the right direction, though.

Pretty much all mental and neuro disorders are just constructs because we can't pinpoint the exact cause of the problem. I expect this will change, particularly as the science of genetic advances, but we have to be patient, unfortunately.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And i came across this article today. it really rings true for me and my ex-marriage

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/19/attention-disorders-can-take-a-toll-on-marriage/

 

[SkippyS]

Unfortunately people with add and ADHD re not capable if having long term relationships unless they are medicated.

Woah. This is a gross generaliseation, and an incredibly ignorant, narrow minded statement. I'm surprised to find such a negative comment on a forum where I would have thought that open-mindedness is key??
I myself have ADHD and am no less capable of having a relationship than anybody else. In fact, I find I'm never more focused than when I'm with my Domme.
Contrary to popular belief, people with ADHD CAN concentrate, in fact, many of us can hyperfocus on particular things that are stimulating enough to hold attention. People with ADHD generally tend to have no problems concentrating on things they have a genuine interest in.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Psst, Skippy? When someone with a handle "trolltroll" says outrageous things you can be sure they are...

trolling.

 

[desertslave]

Horse shit and more of same.

Of course there's a chemical difference. If you do speed and you feel placid, guess what, your brain is not doing what other people's brains do. If I were to take M's Adderall, I would have a completely different experience, one of tooth grinding frenzied activity!

This is noxious bullshit. Just because something is overdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist and isn't debilitating for people who do legitimately have it.

I've seen my spouse overmedicated, with antidepressants and sleep meds tossed into this mix - and I've seen what happens when she cut back to ONLY adderall - there is nothing shameful or bad about appropriately medicating when nothing else seems to work, and nobody should have to submit "I jumped through the following hoops" before deciding to feel better.

Seriously, if you don't think it's "real" enough, kindly stfu. Whatever "it" is - fibro, ADD, cancer, whatever we're supposed to fix with diet prayer and scientology-- most people have tried NOT to be on meds. Most people have not callously thrown their children onto meds.

I hate the readiness of pharma, I hate the symptom-masking lack of inquiry, but nobody gives a flying fuck what you think "is real" or not.

Have I told you I adore you lately?

I deeply, DEEPLY resent the people who want to turn my misery into fiction. I got the endless lectures and comments about how well I could do if I could just apply myself. <sigh> I did not know how. Gods know I tried. But when even the subjects I loved became a struggle, I KNEW there was a problem. Nobody listened, though, because in the 70s, if you weren't bouncing off walls and having impulse control issues, (the big H part), AND were a girl, you were just a lazy student. I did have impulse control issues, but I treated them with street drugs and sex, and just saying nothing in most of my classes. But submissive me was dying inside because I was disappointing so many people who obviously cared.

I remember, vividly, the day the Ritalin kicked in. I took good notes! I finished my assigned reading and responses without interrupting myself 15 times. It was a miracle. I cried myself to sleep in utter relief.

That misery, before (and sometimes after) diagnosis, was very goddamned REAL.