Husband with E.D. any suggestions

[babydoll2u]

Dreamer,
Sometimes it takes a major shock to get someone to start caring for their health. If this has been going on for four years I'd strongly suggest that its time to apply some shock treatment.

First, have your lawyer draw up a will. On the same day that you spring the will on him, also take him to a funeral home and ask that he be fitted for a casket. When he asks what the hell your doing, simply say that since he's refusing to listen to his doctor and refusing to take care of himself, you are preparing for the inevitable, which as his wife, you have EVERY right to do.

He'll get the message real quick after that.

oh yeah, that oughta do it.
Go for it Dreamer

 

[Guest]

Dreamer,
Sometimes it takes a major shock to get someone to start caring for their health. If this has been going on for four years I'd strongly suggest that its time to apply some shock treatment.

First, have your lawyer draw up a will. On the same day that you spring the will on him, also take him to a funeral home and ask that he be fitted for a casket. When he asks what the hell your doing, simply say that since he's refusing to listen to his doctor and refusing to take care of himself, you are preparing for the inevitable, which as his wife, you have EVERY right to do.

He'll get the message real quick after that.

That's actually not bad advice.


As for the sex part, since his self esteem is Lord knows where, perhaps giving him options or suggestions is the wrong way to go at it. Since it hasn't worked so far and all. Turn the tables and give him the control. Get to know him on a deeper level, get to his hidden fantasies and such. And keep an open mind with regards to whatever they may be.

 

[Bobmi357]

That's actually not bad advice.

Its something a friend's family used to shock a daughter into getting treatment for her anorexia. They went whole hog, dragged her to a funeral home for a coffin picking, showed her a plot in a cemetary they said they bought, scared the living shit out of her, even treated her like she was dead for a few days refusing to respond to anything she said or did.

Of course it didn't cure her. That took time and a lot of hard work on her part. But it got her past the refusal to get help.

Edited to add

It is a terrible thing to do to someone. And probably deeply damaging to one's emotional well being. But dreamers in a bind. If she does nothing she will lose her husband. She has to get him started on the road to controlling his illness and restoring his health.

I would hate to put someone I loved through that. But if its a choice between losing them, or frightening them, the scare wins.

 

[dreamer626]

I wanted to thank you all again
My hubby read this yesterday then we had a talk and we will see if anything changes.

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

It is my wish

and I am sure there are many others here too, that your husband will change and take control of this.

Good luck to both of you.

Holden

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Good luck Dreamer. One thing that I think is important is for you to be sure to watch out for yourself. Don't allow yourself to be dragged down into this cesspool of depression/muck that he seems to be in. Take charge of your life and continue to do so. The funeral home / casket picking out ideas are all good, but if I was you, I'd probably try a trial separation instead. Just so you aren't sitting in the middle of all this shit. Make him responsible for his own welfare. Not you. If he wants to die, my attitude is "let him" but you don't have to take part in watching it.

Be sure you are not enabling his bad behavior and supporting it tacitly. I'm really sad for you being in this situation. Please don't take my comments as being hard -hearted. I don't mean them to be such. I'm more worried about you than about him.

Good luck to you Dreamer. If you need a friend, feel free to pm me. I'll shut up and listen.
Jack