I just felt like talking, that's all.

[Wolf_77]

It's not really Christmas that seems to drive me awry, it is several things. The commercialization, the self centered ness of others. The fact that this seems to be the only time of year people really show they care, either by talking to you, or by phone, email, etc. Yes, I am one of those who is feeling damn depressed at most holidays and social gatherings.

I expect, and take no pity sympathy or otherwise likewise emotional supports. Christmas used to mean something, way back when. The tmes before Wal-Mart and bottom line dollar deals, where a list was made and if you got 1 item, well,,you were lucky.

I grew up semi-poor, and my kids have much, and I mean much more than I ever did. Maybe I'm jealous, but I can't get in the holidays and present giving anymore. It's too much.

Here in NY, the snow and cold weather is directly associated with Christmas, and frankly, I hate snow and gloomy weather, its depressing.

Maybe it's just me, I didn't plan on responding with this, but for now, I suppose it works.

Peace to all.

 

[DVS]

It's not really Christmas that seems to drive me awry, it is several things. The commercialization, the self centered ness of others. The fact that this seems to be the only time of year people really show they care, either by talking to you, or by phone, email, etc. Yes, I am one of those who is feeling damn depressed at most holidays and social gatherings.

I expect, and take no pity sympathy or otherwise likewise emotional supports. Christmas used to mean something, way back when. The tmes before Wal-Mart and bottom line dollar deals, where a list was made and if you got 1 item, well,,you were lucky.

I grew up semi-poor, and my kids have much, and I mean much more than I ever did. Maybe I'm jealous, but I can't get in the holidays and present giving anymore. It's too much.

Here in NY, the snow and cold weather is directly associated with Christmas, and frankly, I hate snow and gloomy weather, its depressing.

Maybe it's just me, I didn't plan on responding with this, but for now, I suppose it works.

Peace to all.

You may think this is a line, but I know how you feel. I've been around for a while and back in the old days Christmas was cool. It was something everybody looked forward to. But, now, all of that is overwhelmed by the materialistic marketing by the stores. Comercials are terrible how they start so soon in the season. Some even start before Thanksgiving.

I don't think it is the people, as a whole, but the world that we live in that is the problem. There are too many money hungry merchants that use comercials that are geared to "trigger" emotional spending. And speaking of triggers, just check out comercials on Saturday morning TV. Products are created and then cartoons are created around the product. Kids like the cartoon and HAVE to have the product. Conditioning works on kids. And, they grow up with these conditionings through adulthood.

Tear jerking specials that are funded by one large department store or product manufacturer... Conditioning.

This thread is sort of a reminder for people to understand not just Christmas has changed, but a lot more has changed, too. We live our lives too fast and keep chasing the almighty dollar.

That isn't all our fault, because times have changed to the point we need extra money for those times when bad things happen. Insurance isn't like it used to be, either. Even they have found loopholes around paying when they really should.

Employers lay off employees at this time of year, with no second thought. I know it's the end of the year, too, but this is a time of year when families spend a lot and the unsuspected lay off can be the beginning of a spiral some never get out of.

This is a depressing time for people who are aware of what has changed, how it used to be. Not that every change is bad, but some are sad changes. If we take the time to let others know how it used to be, maybe it will help us feel better and maybe others will see how it was and notice how it was better.

Then, we can look at making the rest of the year better, too. LOL, I like to think BIG!

Smile at a stranger on the sidewalk. Maybe even say "Hello" and if you walk in front of them, say "Excuse me" or "Pardon me". That's just common courtesy. It's a start. Hey, it has to start somewhere.

 

[hurtme]

When I was a child, a very young child, before the drug addictions and alcoholism started taking it toll on my parents, I adored xmas. We had all these family rituals. Every year, my mother would ak if we wanted Santa to bring the tree or not, and depending on our answer, we would either go get a tree xmas eve, or there would be a beautifully decorated tree when we woke up on xmas morning. We would leave notes for Santa next to the milk and cookies, and he would always leave a response for us. We would sit at the closed door at the bottom of the stairs in the morning while my parents got their coffee, and we weren't allowed to come down until they said ok, so we would sit their giggling and wondering whether santa had come...we would come down stiars, adn the tree was like a vision...I grew up in a large victorian house built in the late 1800's, so we always had huge trees since we could accomadate them with the high ceilings. lights twinkling, and the presents, and the smell of fresh coffee in the air, and a fire roaring in the fireplace...my parents both smiling and excited. It was magic...and it will never be again. The most I can hope for is that when I have kids, I can make them feel that magic, for as long as possible, becuase those are the best (in fact the only) good memories from my childhood...now all I have to say is bah humbug...

 

[Kajira Callista]

When I was a child, a very young child, before the drug addictions and alcoholism started taking it toll on my parents, I adored xmas. We had all these family rituals. Every year, my mother would ak if we wanted Santa to bring the tree or not, and depending on our answer, we would either go get a tree xmas eve, or there would be a beautifully decorated tree when we woke up on xmas morning. We would leave notes for Santa next to the milk and cookies, and he would always leave a response for us. We would sit at the closed door at the bottom of the stairs in the morning while my parents got their coffee, and we weren't allowed to come down until they said ok, so we would sit their giggling and wondering whether santa had come...we would come down stiars, adn the tree was like a vision...I grew up in a large victorian house built in the late 1800's, so we always had huge trees since we could accomadate them with the high ceilings. lights twinkling, and the presents, and the smell of fresh coffee in the air, and a fire roaring in the fireplace...my parents both smiling and excited. It was magic...and it will never be again. The most I can hope for is that when I have kids, I can make them feel that magic, for as long as possible, becuase those are the best (in fact the only) good memories from my childhood...now all I have to say is bah humbug...

Prolly none of my business but i wanted to suggest something. When you do have kids, take every tradition and ritual that made you feel good as a kid and give it to them,your new memories soon out weigh the old ones...and the old ones dont matter anymore when you see the excitement and love your kids have to give all around you *hug*

 

[DVS]

Last night, a woman walked up to me. She wanted me to help her get home. She was crying and said her friends had left her at a resturant about a mile up the street and she needed to get home.

She was wearing a warm coat and stocking cap, but she was also wearing flip flops. She also said she was 7 months pregnant. If all of this was true, she didn't have such good friends.

I couldn't get out of her how far she had to go, but she didn't seem like it was a short walk. I asked if I could call her a cab, or maybe call a friend, but she said there was nobody I could call.

I really wanted to leave work and take her home, but with with my job, you can be in serious trouble if you leave. Cameras are watching everything done, and there were 3 watching our conversation.

OK, playing the devil's advocate a bit, she might not have been pregnant, but the coat was large and covered all of that up. She might have been trying for a ride home by playin on my sympathy. Even if that were true, I felt bad that I couldn't help her.

I hope she made it home, OK. And, if any of her friends are reading this, you are insensitive fuck heads for doing what you did. This was 4:AM in the morning, not the best part of town, and it was cold outside. I don't care what she could have done to you, she didn't deserve to be forced to walk several miles home alone, wearing only flip flops for shoes.

I couldn't even let her come inside to warm up. I could have been fired for that. So, to the friends (these were friends?) you didn't just make her feel bad and deal with your lack of human decency, you also made me feel bad because I couldn't help fix what you started.

This is the kind of world we are dealing with. These friends are becoming more and more the norm. I don't care if everything she told me was a lie. I know she didn't have a gun or knife and she wasn't large enough to overpower me and take my money. All she wanted was a ride and I couldn't give it to her.

For whatever reason, she was walking the streets alone, and it wasn't right. I do believe in karma and one of these days, it will come back at you. I just hope it happens soon.

 

[FungiUg]

DVS, I suspect you are a "rescuer". That's not a bad thing (I hope not, because I fall into this category myself!) but it is something you will find incredibly frustrating -- wanting to help someone and not being able to.

In this case, please remember the victim herself is not a passive force being merley acted on -- she is responsible for her own actions and so forth. I agree that the "so called friends" were fuck heads, but she herself was responsible for being poorly dressed, and with no assurance of a way home.

It's a hard world -- it has never been otherwise (other than in fairy tales.) People who expect life to be handed to them on a platter form the majority of life's victims. Somewhere along the way, the rest of us learn to ackowledge that we have to care for ourselves. From there, we can learn to care for others.

So keep in mind that while you couldn't help her in this case, she herself was responsible for her predicament. And sometimes life's lessons require pain to be learned, so you can hope that she learned from this particular lesson.

 

[DVS]

So keep in mind that while you couldn't help her in this case, she herself was responsible for her predicament. And sometimes life's lessons require pain to be learned, so you can hope that she learned from this particular lesson.

That's exactly what I said to myself, as I watched her walk away. She will be stronger, after this experience.

 

[DVS]

That's exactly what I said to myself, as I watched her walk away. She will be stronger, after this experience.

I even tried to get the New Year's taxi service to take her home. There is a program in most large U.S. cities to take people home during this Christmas and New Year's season, to keep them from driving home and causing a possible drunk driving situation ending in someone getting hurt.

I know they would have taken her home, because they will take anyone home, within a reasonable distance. But, they will only pick someone up at a bar or residence and only within normal bar hours or just after.

This was not a bar, and this was slightly over an hour after the bars closed. She just couldn't find a friend, last night.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think there is a huge difference between being a rescuer and having enough empathy to lend a helping hand to someone who may not be as fortunate as oneself. The story behind person's predicament may be far different than supposed, and largely out of their control through a number of inescapable variables. If it costs nothing but a litle time and effort what is the loss to someone who is able bodied, working, roof over the head, money in pocket, friends and family, options, and a future....and often that is all the person needs to change their life, give them hope where previously they felt none existed. It is a well promoted argumant of our disposable and money oriented world though to say we owe nothing to anyone as they bring their problems all on themselves...tell that to workers whose workplace closes on Christmas Eve, or war refugees, or rape victims, abused children, paraplegics from medical or auto accidents, chronically ill, and the list goes on....people often do not wear their story on a placard, so if I can help in my travels through my day and the universe, I do so and move on.

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Let it go DVS

You acted within the boundaries of good sense, and restrictions based on you taking care of your life. If she had given you an address, i think a cab company would guesstimate the cost of the fare. Up to you thereafter if you felt like playing good Samaritan with money out of pocket. If she couldn't give you an address to drop her off, you couldn't call a cab for her either. Everything in this world requires a little give and take.

 

[DVS]

Re: Let it go DVS

You acted within the boundaries of good sense, and restrictions based on...

You are correct. What could I do but let it go? With the info I had and the restictions I had, I could do nothing more. She didn't offer information that could have made her night easier, for whatever reason. Thanks for your input. I agree she could have helped me out.

There is always that unknown varible. What you don't know is what bothers you. Why was she out there? Was she telling me the truth? Shit, maybe she just had a fight with her boyfriend/husband, and he was the one who dumped her.

That kind of situation happened about a month ago. That lady didn't come up to talk, but I saw her walking down the same street. She was very pretty and I wondered why she was even walking in that part of town, and alone.

Soon, and SUV came up and she talked to the driver through the window. Then she got in and the conversation went on for a bit longer. Then, she got back out and started walking down the street, again. The SUV drove off, only to come back a few minutes later, when she got in and it drove away.

A lover's quarrel more than likely, or a hooker who was determined to get her price?

These types of events often make me wonder. I've been a personality watcher for most of my life. I know it has been a great advantage in my being a dominant personality, and maybe also a caring personality. I am good at mental torment. LOL, that is my forte.

It's mostly why I started this thread. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen this world become more and more a ME world as each new generation is born. The situation with the lady that needed a ride home was just one instance, in one city, for one person.

Of course, you need to be older to know how things used to be. Being young doesn't mean you are a part of it on purpose, it just means you don't know any different. But, once you know it used to be different, then, no matter what your age, you are part of the problem.

With every new generation, we get more involved with outselves and less with the rest of the world. That comes partly from the way the world reacts and treats each of us, but each of us are part of this equasion, too.

And, it stems from the thought process of "I'm just one person. I can't do anything to change the whole world." And, that's a true statement. Even trying to change your little part of it isn't an easy thing to do, if you are continouosly treated like a "non-person" by others.

9-11 helped for a short time. We all seemed to feel as if we were closer and we noticed others for what they were, humans. But, because of the busy lives we lead and the redundant daily drudgery many of us experience, the 9-11ish feelings have quickly taken a back seat.

Oh, those feelings are still there. They were there before 9-11. It took a horrible act to bring it out of us. We see someone beaten on the street and don't get involved. We say it's a terrible thing but walk away to continue our lives, and thank God it didn't happen to us.

We take it for granted it won't happen to us. Many people never experience violent death, rape, having a gun pointed at you in a robbery, or being mugged. But, as you may know, after it happens to you, one of the first things you say is "I never thought it would happen to me. That always happens to other people."

When a gun is pointed at you, it is a strange feeling. Actually, you don't even see the person holding it, for the most part. You look right at the hole at the end of the barrel. It's kind of strange, but you think you will have time to move out of the way when he pulls the tigger, if you just keep watching. Yes, that's stupid, but until you are in that situation, you just can't discribe it. It's kind of a self preservation thing, I think.

I don't think we really notice life, until something like this happens. It might not be a gun pointed at you, but maybe an auto accident where you just missed serious harm. Or, maybe a house fire where you nearly died in your sleep or some serious illness. Why does it take such a thing to wake us up?

OK, that is a rehtorical question. I don't expect an answer. There are only a few out there that know what I'm talking about. Maybe we should from a club.

Sorry for the length of this, but it's my thread, after all. I do tend to get carried away, at times. I'm not a man of few words. And, yes, that also helps me in the mental torment of subs.
<---- Toothy smile of a proud and happy Dom.

 

[Kajira Callista]

DVS...did you ever stop to think that maybe she was a junkie or something. And by you not helping her you did help her? Dont beat yourself up darling....everything in life happens for a reason.

 

[DVS]

DVS...did you ever stop to think that maybe she was a junkie or something. And by you not helping her you did help her?

Sure, that is one of the unknown scenarios. I'm not dwelling on this instance, but using it as a vehicle for my rant. Like I said, it's just one city, one person.

This sort of thing happens all the time, all over the world. In each instance, someone makes the discision of what to do. I'm only trying to say there are choices for those times when we are confronted with a situation.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Sure, that is one of the unknown scenarios. I'm not dwelling on this instance, but using it as a vehicle for my rant. Like I said, it's just one city, one person.

This sort of thing happens all the time, all over the world. In each instance, someone makes the discision of what to do. I'm only trying to say there are choices for those times when we are confronted with a situation.

sews lips shut

 

[DVS]

sews lips shut

Oh, my God! What a waste of sexy, good lips. Don't do that!!!!!

 

[Kajira Callista]

Pulls the thread out

 

[DVS]

Pulls the thread out

Ouch. That just sounds painful. I hope you don't do that often. I like certain kinds of hurt, but that ain't one of them.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Ouch. That just sounds painful. I hope you don't do that often. I like certain kinds of hurt, but that ain't one of them.

It works for me...considering i have to self inflict....pulling out thread could be fun

 

[DVS]

It works for me...considering i have to self inflict....pulling out thread could be fun

Well, pulling out threads that keep clothing on, now that I'll go for.

 

[FungiUg]

Originally posted by Catalina
I think there is a huge difference between being a rescuer and having enough empathy to lend a helping hand to someone who may not be as fortunate as oneself.

True, but I still think DVS is a rescuer.

 

[DVS]

True, but I still think DVS is a rescuer.

FungiUg, I'm curious. What other labels are there? And, where does the rescuer stand in the +/- of the personality label group? Do I win, being a rescuer, or is there baggage attached?

I know you mean no disrespect in labeling me a rescuer, as you have done the same for yourself. I am just curious by nature.

I don't usually like labels, because they limit you to their boundaries. But, I'm a non-smoker and rarely drink. Other than being a domimant sex hound and my cock touches the floor, it's kind of difficult to label me.




OK, OK. DISCLAIMER NEEDED:
My cock touches the floor if I happen to be laying (on the floor) on my stomach. Got all of you women hot and bothered though, didn't it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

FungiUg, I'm curious. What other labels are there? And, where does the rescuer stand in the +/- of the personality label group? Do I win, being a rescuer, or is there baggage attached?

I know you mean no disrespect in labeling me a rescuer, as you have done the same for yourself. I am just curious by nature.

I don't usually like labels, because they limit you to their boundaries. But, I'm a non-smoker and rarely drink. Other than being a domimant sex hound and my cock touches the floor, it's kind of difficult to label me.




OK, OK. DISCLAIMER NEEDED:
My cock touches the floor if I happen to be laying (on the floor) on my stomach. Got all of you women hot and bothered though, didn't it.

LOL you scare me....but in a good way!

 

[FungiUg]

FungiUg, I'm curious. What other labels are there? And, where does the rescuer stand in the +/- of the personality label group? Do I win, being a rescuer, or is there baggage attached?

I know you mean no disrespect in labeling me a rescuer, as you have done the same for yourself. I am just curious by nature.

I don't usually like labels, because they limit you to their boundaries. But, I'm a non-smoker and rarely drink. Other than being a domimant sex hound and my cock touches the floor, it's kind of difficult to label me.

You remind me of a joke:

Two drunks standing peeing off a bridge at night. The first says "Damn, but that water's cold!" The second says "Yeah, deep too."



I do know what you mean about being resistant to labels, although it's a very human thing to do. After all, there are three kinds of people in this world... those who can count, and those who can't.

Nah... wasn't trying to label you (well, okay, maybe a little.) Rescuer is just a tendency I recognise in myself. I like to be able to step in a "rescue" people, often from the results of their own folly. Of course, it doesn't help me with my own life struggles!

So I wasn't trying to pin you down to a limited set of behaivours, other than acknowledge a shared tendency.

As for other labels... how long a list do you want? One of my favourites is a Pythonic.

"Now go away, or I shall taunt you some more!"

 

[catalina_francisco]

True, but I still think DVS is a rescuer.

Can't agree....more so one of a fast dying breed who still value human life and don't necessarily expect a payoff for being able to assist when asked. Most rescuers don't have to be asked, and usually have little interest in what the person in difficulty really wants or needs, as long as it makes them feel good and they feel they have solved their problems for them which rarely they have.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

OK, OK. DISCLAIMER NEEDED:
My cock touches the floor if I happen to be laying (on the floor) on my stomach. Got all of you women hot and bothered though, didn't it.

Damn it, you spoiled all my fantasies

now!!!

Catalina