I know this is going to sound crazy...

[Eilan]

Mr. I-wish-I-could-make-my-wife-make-me-eat-my-own-cum

Mr. I-wish-I-could-make-you-and-your-cuckold-husband-my-personal-sex-slaves

I know that you feel you've been attacked in this thread (which, honestly, shouldn't have come as a surprise to you if you'd known anything about this particular forum's stance on cheating and having relationships with people who are married/attached) but what's the point of attacking people you don't agree with by looking at their post history and pointing out their kinks, fetishes, or fantasies?

To save you the trouble, I'll just sign myself,
Ms. I-have-had-threesomes-with-my-husband-and-other-men
or
Ms. I-like-to-smash-men's-balls
or
Ms. Yes-I-read-the-whole-thread

 

[silverwhisper]

qrayze is apparently unaware that nasty deeds has a history of not reading the whole thread. :>

ed

 

[qrayze]

I know that you feel you've been attacked in this thread (which, honestly, shouldn't have come as a surprise to you if you'd known anything about this particular forum's stance on cheating and having relationships with people who are married/attached)

This forum can't have a "stance" on any issue. It is made up of the opinions of hundreds of people, and for me to know what all their "stances" are, I'd have to personally know every person.

If the mods want to assign an offical stance about any issue to this forum, they need to post it in the stickys.

but what's the point of attacking people you don't agree with by looking at their post history and pointing out their kinks, fetishes, or fantasies?

You're right. I felt attacked, so I lashed out. And in a quite tacky manner too as I realized this morning when I was thinking about this thread. *facepalm

qrayze is apparently unaware that nasty deeds has a history of not reading the whole thread. :>

ed

yeah, I noticed in a thread I was reading a moment ago that he did the same thing. the OP handled it a lot better than I did.

 

[SweetErika]

This forum can't have a "stance" on any issue. It is made up of the opinions of hundreds of people, and for me to know what all their "stances" are, I'd have to personally know every person.

If the mods want to assign an offical stance about any issue to this forum, they need to post it in the stickys.

Maybe "culture" would be a better word. The majority of HT posters aren't fans of cheating. People who say they support cheating usually get more positive responses in The Playground, for instance, which has a different culture than HT.

 

[qrayze]

Maybe "culture" would be a better word. The majority of HT posters aren't fans of cheating. People who say they support cheating usually get more positive responses in The Playground, for instance, which has a different culture than HT.

I see. Except for when I first joined Lit, I don't go into that forum, so posting there would feel more awkard to me. I understand what you're saying tho, and if the drama spikes in my life again, I'll probably post there to vent. Thanks for the tip

 

[SweetErika]

I see. Except for when I first joined Lit, I don't go into that forum, so posting there would feel more awkard to me. I understand what you're saying tho, and if the drama spikes in my life again, I'll probably post there to vent. Thanks for the tip

Yeah, the general thought is the HT forums are for honest advice/feedback and support, whereas The Playground is for validation. You want to fuck a family member, cheat on your spouse or post your friends pics without them knowing? HT'ers are going to tell you the downside of the scenario and strongly advise keeping it as a fantasy and/or finding a compromise that doesn't harm anyone. Most PG'ers are going to tell you to "go for it!" and you'll probably get a bunch of PMs from guys who want to get in your panties.

 

[Noor]

I say you are wasting a lot of time and typing on someone you don't care about.
He isn't worth it.

 

[Patchouli]

I hate to put it this way, but maybe you need to take a look at yourself. Both of these men you describe, (your ex-husband and the man you are sexting), seem to have a lot in common. Neither one sounds like they want to be married. Is it possible that you are attracted to men, that perhaps are not good for you?

The man you describe sounds like a man who does not want a monogamous marriage, and blames his wife for his own inability to be faithful. There are a lot of men like this who want all the advantages of being married, but none of the responsibility. His wife may not be a loving and devoted wife as he claims, but then he probably made her that way. After all, she must have loved him in the beginning.

Maybe you need to reevaluate the kind of men that you are drawn to. I think if this man left his wife and started a serious relationship with you, (or even marriage), in 6 months or a year, you would find him treating you the same way he treats his wife now.

i would second this. look to yourself and what you are attracted to. i have so many friends who keep ending up with the same man in different bodies. they just keep making the same mistakes over and over.

 

[tmmmbrrr]

By the volume of your post alone, it is plain that the situation is really getting you down. Why are you messing around with this two-timer when there are so many good and unattached guys out there? You can't help the guy. He is getting exactly what he wants from you and his wife. Sorry. Really.

 

[klippert]

...but hell, that's my name, isn't it?

Okay. A little history first. I was married to this great guy who was a great dad, and we got along very well together. We had a total of four major fights during our relationship; two before marriage, two after. Looking back at the nature of the two fights before marriage, I should've known not to marry him, but oh well, hindsight is always 20/20. The first major fight we had after marriage happened when our daughter was a little over one year old. He was upset that I didn't have a job and be a working mother. I guess he thought I wasn't contributing enough to the household? I countered that before we got married, we agreed that if we had kids I would be a stay-at-home mom since we believed that children need that kind of stability in their lives. Well, he didn't believe that anymore. So, I "thought" we compromised when we agreed that I would get a job when our daughter started elementary school. That blew over and I thought we were ok, but shortly after our daughter's second birthday, he started acting weird and wouldn't talk to me. A couple days of being clueless as to what was wrong with him was enough for me, and I confronted him. He then gave me the same, "you don't do anything, u should be working" stuff he gave me earlier. Because taking care of a child and an apt is doing nothing? Anyways, he said he didn't love me anymore , left, and we were divorced about a year later. (also, I have a bad memory and am easily distracted so I forget shit all the time and he was sick of it)

Now...for this issue I'm dealing with.

I've been sexting with this married guy who's cheated on his wife before. I even met him at his work one time to give him a bj. So, anyway, in my mind he's an asshole for even cheating on her, and I was starting to get really tired of hearing how much of a bitch she always is, so I asked him a couple days ago why he doesn't just divorce her so they could both move on. His reply was because they still love eachother and can be happy, they just no longer have sex. Ok...

Then the next day, he starts in on how much his wife sucks. Then I counter that she sucks but not enough that they aren't happy together? I told him he confused me. His answer was that he stays because of the kids, and doesn't want to miss being with them every day.

So, at this point, I can just feel the "please have pity on me" aura that surrounds every word in his texts. I'm thinking to myself that this guy is just like my ex. So I ask him if he's bought this book on marriage that I suggested to him over a month ago that I thought would really help his relationship. He had told me that her major complaint is that he doesn't make her feel like he cares about her. Of course, that would be hard to do when you're boffing your neighbor! The book is on the five love languages and if he could pinpoint his wife's, he could make her feel loved and appreciated, and in turn, she might become more affectionate. But, of course, he hasn't bought the book.

I also suggested talking to his wife, spelling out to her just what's in his head and that their marriage needs to be fixed. Because see, my ex never did that. While he was cheating on me, he let me believe that we had a great marriage and that everything was perfect. I didn't even know all the shit that bugged him until he exploded at me the night he left me. He didn't even give me a chance, ya know?

Now, I know it's weird to be giving marriage advice to a guy who I blew in my car just last week, but really, now, I'm just really pissed off at him because he won't leave his wife OR try to make things better between them, he just wants to live in pity-party land.

I know I'm directing a lot of the anger I feel for my ex at him, but to me he deserves it. I want to tell him exactly what I think of him in a facebook message, and then send a message to his wife that he's been cheating on her with their neighbor (who also happens to be married), but I'm not a vindictive type of person. It's fun to fantasize about (I still think of the letters I could write to my ex's gf so she would know just how much of a liar he is, but after almost two years, I still haven't), but I don't think I could go thru with it.

The appeal to sext him has completely gone. I just don't know what I should do.

He thought he a big fish on the line....Now before you attack that euphemism. Euphemism for the perfect situation. Married, a little extra on the side. If this loser has cheat before, he'll likely move on. He's probably trolling right now....

delete him form your contacts. Send on last message.... Dont text or call me. I hope that car-job us a good one....*wink*, and don't do that 'facebook' fighting.... that's for teenagers. By the way...did you know this guy while you were married....He's not a friends husband is he...

 

[qrayze]

why can't this thread just die already?

I haven't had any contact with him in over a month now. I'm over it, over him. I've moved on to greener, not-married pastures.

 

[GrimsPet]

Edited because I just noticed the OP's last post.