I need some advice........

[lesliecannon]

Here is a quick update:
I am at his house now and we had a long talk last night..... asked the the pics on the phone and the texts.... he told me about the other email and that he had made it when he became unhappy in his marriage(I believe that), they are now divorced as of 3 weeks ago, (YEA!!), he told me the photos were sent to that email and that the email forwarded the stuff to his phone.. he showed me the email adress and even went so far to answer the newest ones with me standing there.... the unread ones dated back to 6 months after we got back together, the texts were from a neighbor that is married(met her today) she works at Bojangles and she had her fiance bring food over that night.
About the sex, well he has been under a lot of stress, starting up a new business online, the server crashing and having to start it all over again(6 months of work gone in less than 24 hours), fighting for visitation for the kids. I can understand all that.
I told him it would have been nice for him to have been up front with me in the first place but he is an alpha so he wanted to keep it on his shoulders, I told him he didn't have to do it by himself now, that is what I am here for.
I really appreciate what every one of you have said and I can still use the help because as I have said before I get very nervous when doing this face to face.
By the way, I had to write it all down and read it out to him, I am that bad about confronting issues. I don't like arguments or fights, I can deal with debates though, I run the opposite way literally except when I have to fight about my kids, then everything comes out and I am a very mean person.

 

[Maverick_Man]

Here is a quick update:
I am at his house now and we had a long talk last night..... asked the the pics on the phone and the texts.... he told me about the other email and that he had made it when he became unhappy in his marriage(I believe that), they are now divorced as of 3 weeks ago, (YEA!!), he told me the photos were sent to that email and that the email forwarded the stuff to his phone.. he showed me the email adress and even went so far to answer the newest ones with me standing there.... the unread ones dated back to 6 months after we got back together, the texts were from a neighbor that is married(met her today) she works at Bojangles and she had her fiance bring food over that night.
About the sex, well he has been under a lot of stress, starting up a new business online, the server crashing and having to start it all over again(6 months of work gone in less than 24 hours), fighting for visitation for the kids. I can understand all that.
I told him it would have been nice for him to have been up front with me in the first place but he is an alpha so he wanted to keep it on his shoulders, I told him he didn't have to do it by himself now, that is what I am here for.
I really appreciate what every one of you have said and I can still use the help because as I have said before I get very nervous when doing this face to face.
By the way, I had to write it all down and read it out to him, I am that bad about confronting issues. I don't like arguments or fights, I can deal with debates though, I run the opposite way literally except when I have to fight about my kids, then everything comes out and I am a very mean person.

Thanks for the update....IS everything still good ?

 

[JRaven]

Might he be withholding oral because he's not receiving oral?
I'd suggest checking out the HowTo section of Literotica. There are a lot of good stories there about almost everything. Read a few on giving head. Check out some of the other ones that you find interesting. Everything from Anal to Zoo-something is available.

The worst that could happen is that you learn about something you like, and want to introduce to the bed.

Jenny

 

[lesliecannon]

oh yes, he gets oral! I figure if I give I will receive..... not yet though. I will probably keep hoping, that one day he will give back. I have told him that i want it but he always ignores it. maybe I should withhold giving him oral.... just tell him if he doesn't give he won't receive.

 

[lesliecannon]

new update: he asked for a "break". I havent seen him for 3 weeks now. we text but that is all. I need a sex buddy I believe.

 

[MIrabbitGirl]

Good luck! I hope you find someone perfect for you!

 

[lesliecannon]

it is officially over.

 

[lesliecannon]

maybe..... i havent given up hope yet......

 

[MIrabbitGirl]

Hang on, he's out there.

 

[lesliecannon]

i believe i was with the one, my soul mate.... there is still hope, i got new info from his mother and some of his friends. who knows, i do know that i did THE worst thing though, i was acting like a whiny little child. I would email him and text him almost constantly. Never gave him time so i ended up pushing him away......

 

[Que]

it feels like that now...like you've lost the only possible connection you're going to have in life... but it isn't true....can't possibly statistically be true what would be the point of that?

I mean you can take it from a theological, a biological or an evolutionary point of view there is just no way that there's only 1 person for each of us on the planet of now 7 billion people.

-i hope.

 

[lesliecannon]

ok, newest update..... it is really completely over. He has a new girlfriend and he had THE BALLS to tell me that I would LIKE her !!! I wanted to SMACK the SHIT out of him, but I didn't, I controlled myself. I had to go over there and get my stuff and give him his stuff back. He even packed the outfit he got me... a little silver skin tight "dress" I ripped it out of the bag, got the scissors and cut it up right in front of him and her. I said nothing to her, I wanted to though. I was on the verge of blacking out I was that angry. Oh and I found out through Facebook no less!! What an ASSHOLE!!

 

[Boundlife]

Leslie , No pining. Use that anger, volunteer, take a class, get out there, meet people
No dating for a bit though

 

[lesliecannon]

oh I think I am done with relationships. The only thing for me is a vibe! it never gets soft, it goes as long as I need it, and they are very replaceable and you don't get attached to just one!! I have had 3 relationships in the last 18 years, the xbf twice and then one that passed away. Only heartbreak for me, I am done. I have no more to contribute to them.

 

[MIrabbitGirl]

Leslie , No pining. Use that anger, volunteer, take a class, get out there, meet people
No dating for a bit though

Great advice. Hang in there!

 

[lesliecannon]

I'm doing good!! working in the yard, cutting overgrown bushes back tree limbs etc.... its looking much better now and i am feeling GREAT!! my neighbors have complimented me on all the work and have even offered to help but i told them it is good therapy for me right now but if i needed them at a later date i would certainly ask.

 

[Boundlife]

Awsome! I'm happy for you. You and your kids deserve to have you feeling good.

 

[lesliecannon]

OK, i have been talking to a neighbor of mine that is younger than me but he is over in Afghanistan. He just told me that he has had a "crush" on me for a couple of years now. Honestly I have had one on him and we like a lot of the same things. He has always treated me with respect and he gets along very well with the kids. He won't be able to come back until July... 8 months from now. I have always enjoyed his company and he has always been easy to talk to. I used to wonder when he would come back over to hang out with me and the kids. Should I just let the relationship grow while he is over there? He knows that I recently got out of the depressing relationship and I have been so happy since I have been talking to him...... He was the one that brought up the subject of dating when he gets back. I don't know what to do.... help again.... please!!!

 

[Boundlife]

OK, i have been talking to a neighbor of mine that is younger than me but he is over in Afghanistan. He just told me that he has had a "crush" on me for a couple of years now. Honestly I have had one on him and we like a lot of the same things. He has always treated me with respect and he gets along very well with the kids. He won't be able to come back until July... 8 months from now. I have always enjoyed his company and he has always been easy to talk to. I used to wonder when he would come back over to hang out with me and the kids. Should I just let the relationship grow while he is over there? He knows that I recently got out of the depressing relationship and I have been so happy since I have been talking to him...... He was the one that brought up the subject of dating when he gets back. I don't know what to do.... help again.... please!!!

Slow Down! You just got out of a bad relationship. Enjoy his friendship. You can't see him so he is a perfect unavailable rebound guy. Leave it at we'll see when you get back, maybe. 8 months is a long time relax and work on yourself. Learn to be happy with yourself.

Relax, No Promises, No making this guy Mr. Perfect. Friends First.

When he gets back and you have spend time together, ask again

 

[JRaven]

BoundLife makes some good points. He would be the perfect rebound guy. Keep talking to him. If he asks for something more in the relationship while he's still in Afganistan, delay him.

Some guys get pretty messed up in the head over there. You don't know what he'll be like when he gets back. I would suggest you talk to him a few times when he does get back. Have the kids around so that it's harder for him to ask any awkward questions. When you've decided whether or not to go out with him, ask him to help with the yard or something, when the kids are not around. Then you can either tell him 'no', or if you're smart, tell him 'yes'.

Jenny

 

[lesliecannon]

good advice! thank you!!

 

[seamus221]

If your BF wants to have sex with you and your not ill,tired or just in a non sexual mood you should know he finds you hot and desires you,just relax and enjoy that you are the center of this guys exual universe.
Asking for help is great,the internet is full of pro help and just us folks.
Sex can be learned and pleasures can be discovered as long as theres not any mental hang ups or disinterest....there are many people that find sex so scary or unejoyable they don't do it.
Hope this helps and BBW's can be even better in bed than any playboy model ever born!

 

[Eilan]

If your BF wants to have sex with you and your not ill,tired or just in a non sexual mood you should know he finds you hot and desires you,just relax and enjoy that you are the center of this guys exual universe.
Asking for help is great,the internet is full of pro help and just us folks.
Sex can be learned and pleasures can be discovered as long as theres not any mental hang ups or disinterest....there are many people that find sex so scary or unejoyable they don't do it.
Hope this helps and BBW's can be even better in bed than any playboy model ever born!

Um, did you read the entire thread?

 

[SlickTony]

This bodes ill. He asks for a break--give it to him. And don't wait around.

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

I have watched porn and read books. We are both 38 so I know I am going into my "prime" but he works ALL the time and we don't live together(unfortunately). I have sex on my mind ALL the time(works online) but even when I say that I want sex he just says "ok let me get this done." I guess I feel like I am second or third on his list. He is starting a new business online so he has to spend alot of time but lately I have been thinking of having a fling just to get sex. Once or twice a week is not enough!

This should be the first sign that he thinks sex as a chore, not as something pleasurable. I can kind of tell you're staying with him because you feel most comfortable with him in bed. But if he says stuff like that out loud to you, that wouldn't make me feel any better about myself if a woman said that to me.

If you are at the point where you want a fling, then he isn't the guy for you. Maybe this is a downer statement, but you deserve better. You should be with someone who not only gives you confidence, but wants to be with you as much as possible.