I, Vampire (a love story)

The parking lot of the steak house, a place called Morton's, was quiet and dark. My black sports monster slipping into a parking spot like a shadow with eerie blue eyes. I killed the engine and glanced over at Jason. "Was the ride everything you could have imagined?" I teased with a smirk. I could hear his heart thumping around in his chest and it made my mouth water.

We slipped out of the car, Jason appeared to be slightly wobbly in the knee as he came to my side and we entered the building. He did the gentleman thing of opening the door for me, and I rewarded him with a finger sliding across his cheek. The heat of his skin burned through my hand, shooting tingles down my arm. Perhaps I would need to feed tonight, if for no other reason than to let Jason have his nerdy way with me.

The hostess was a young pimple-faced kid who looked at me with wide eyes. As if I couldn't possibly be real. Come to think of it, Jason looked at me in kind of the same way. At least my looks were holding up over the last 800 years. Hmm, makes me sound old when I put it that way.

Pimp-face took us to a booth against the side of the room and I shook my head and gestured to the booth in the corner. "May we sit in the corner please? The privacy will be most appreciated." I asked, slipping the boy a twenty dollar bill.

He fumbled with the menus he had already sat down, scooping them awkwardly into his arms to lead us eagerly into the back. I smiled and slipped into a seat across from Jason.
 
As we parked at Morton's I could feel my heart racing.That had been one hell of a ride and in fact much better than I had expected. Anna was a superb driver, and i wondered if she had ever done any actual racing car driving. Maybe she had done some carting when she was younger or some dirt track racing because she didn't look old enough to have done anything professionally.

As I got out my legs wobbled a bit and I saw her hide a small smile but I caught up with her and held the door open. She traced a finger lightly over my cheek and I felt a pleasant chill travel all the way down to my groin. Gods what was this woman doing to me.

Inside a kid like me but with way too much acne showed us to a table but Anna insisted on a back corner booth. It was quiet and secluded and had no one else around it, although there were very few people in at the moment.

The guy could barely keep his eyes off her and probably hadn't even noticed me and I had to chuckle. That was probably how I looked most of the time. I would have to try to act more casual, it was not a great look.

As we slipped into the booth I really didn't have to look at the menu. I would just be getting a steak, baked potato and salad. I just hoped she didn't mind that I liked my steak really bloody. I normally had it really rare and often people looked at me strange, I just hoped she was not one of them.
 
The waiter had the same reaction that the host had when he came to the table to take our drink order. I ordered water and Jason got whatever he wanted. I merely ordered the water for pretense as I did not intend to drink anything clear tonight. I was surprised when Jason ordered a rare steak, most people did not like meat that rare but it made me smile. I ordered the exact same thing, this would be a much easier meal than I thought. Since we had the same thing, there would be no reason to make up some reason for liking the very pink flesh.

I smiled at him and leaned forward toward him. "Jason I need to ask you a question." I had to know, I had to lead him towards revealing what I was to him. I figured it would be easier to kind of feel him out about things before I dropped the bomb on him. If I eased him in gently, he would be less overwhelmed about it.

Then again I couldn't believe what I was thinking. To really reveal myself to Jason, to show him that I was not human. God what was wrong with me? Why did I feel so invested in this guy? I wanted him to know everything about me, and I wanted to know everything about him. Was hundreds of years of solitude finally getting to me?

"How do you feel about vampires?" I asked carefully. Trying to make it a question regarding the image on his computer screen.
 
I smiled when Anna ordered the same kind of steak as me. For once I was not going to get those stares as I ate it. It was finally great to meet another person who loved their meat as raw as I did. I also ordered a lemon squash. I just loved the taste.

Then I saw a bit of a worried expression come over her face as she smiled and leaned in to ask me a question. I didn't know what it was going to be but it was obviously important to her by the way she was acting. The question however was not one I was expecting. "How did I feel about vampires"? It was tough to answer. There was just so much conflicting lore about them that it was hard to tell what was real and what was not.

"In general I have no problems with Vampires. I just hope to god they are not like the twihards though. If I find out they sparkle I think I will have to kill myself," I chuckled. "However seriously there is just so much that has been written about them that is contradictory that it is hard to say for certain what is real and what is not. I will go with this,They need blood to survive but do they need to kill their victims who knows. Sunlight debatable. Holy objects I am not sure on same as silver. The rest I am pretty sure is garbage. So do I think they exist, sure it is possible and with technology today and blood banks it may be easier to hide."

I looked at her and smiled then thought about what she had seen and heard back at my apartment. "I guess you might be thinking of my drawing huh. Well yeah I just have a feeling that she exists and if she does I would like to meet her. She has been in my dreams for a long time and frankly even though I would probably be scared I think I would be more fascinated."

I blushed and looked down. "Too much information huh. Never ask a geek about that sort of stuff, he will talk your ear off," I chuckled.
 
I sat there calmly as he explained his views on what he liked and even disliked about vampires throughout all the lore he had experienced since he began reading and watching vampire-based fiction. One thing was pretty consistant in everything he said about vampires. It was all fiction, human writers had blown us vampires into all kinds of different creatures. Sometimes we were demons, sometimes we were just simply blood drinking creatures capable of good and evil just like humans.

Sometimes we were even the heroes.

One thing that was clear though. Jason really liked vampires, to him the creatures were a power fantasy, something to be in awe of. It made me more confident in myself and what I would finally reveal to him as soon as I figured out how. I just didn't know how to do it. I didn't think he would mind if I just came right out and said, "Hey I'm a vampire." But I still think that there was a better way to go about that.

I did smile and nod, "That's cool I am a bit of a vampire fan myself. There is definitely a lot of shit regarding vampires out there. But there is a lot of cool things and ideas in the overall mythos right?" I leaned back as the waiter brought our food.

I let my food sit there, not exactly eager to dig in, even if it was a steak prepared in a way I could get down. I did set about cutting it into pieces so that the blood would pool at the bottom of the plate where the pieces could soak in it.

"The sunlight thing....Total bullshit." I said in too sure of a voice. "I mean it doesn't make sense. The sun is merely light and solar radiation that hits everyone the same way. In what way would it turn a vampire into a pile of ash or set them on fire?" I asked him.

"Or god forbid, sparkle." I smirked.

I sighed and leaned forward. "Tell me what would you do, if that girl on your computer showed up at your door one night? What if she wanted to drink you down and leave you in darkness? Or what if she wanted to take you away?"
 
I nodded at her as she started to talk about her views on Vampires. "You know I think you are right. The idea that a bite could change your cell structure so much that you would burst into flames because of exposure to sunlight is a bit far fetched." I smirked as well. "Yes Anne has a lot to answer for, I hope one day she does meet a true Vampire and it teaches her a true lesson."

I had just taken another bite when she asked me about my mystery Vampire. I chewed the delicious piece of steak while thinking about my answer. For some reason I wanted to give her a true response not just a flippant comment.

"First if I ever complete the woman to the picture in my head I think I might just go with her. If she wanted to completely drain me though I would have to fight her, I do not have a death wish and no matter how beautiful she looks I would not be into that."

I took another bite and then smiled at her. "However maybe if she just wanted to talk and show me a few things I would be more than happy with that. I might even be happy with her feeding off of me as long as she left me enough to survive on. Heck if she was as beautiful as you I think I would just have to stock up on orange juice. After all they do say it helps to produce more blood."
 
I thought about Jason's words carefully. Everything he said wasn't a group of incendental words. It all seemed to fit into a puzzle that explained why I was so drawn to him. I was hundred of years old and here I sat practically swooning over little more than a kid. Yet there was a draw that I could no longer pull away from. Maybe if I had got up and left the Dennys last night, I might have gotten away with it. But here and now I was stuck.

It was time to shit or get off the pot. I sighed and looked down at my hands carefully before bringing my gaze back up to his. "Jason....What if told you that the woman on the computer and in your mind wasn't LIKE me, she IS me? Look at me Jason, how old do you think I am?" I asked him, settling back into the booth and watching him carefully. "Am I young twenty something with a lot of daddy money to drive the car I drive? Am I just a perfect....what did you call me before?"

"Tell me what you think Jason." I almost commanded.
 
Again I looked at her carefully and digested her words almost as carefully as I was my dinner. She wasn't just being flippant and I knew the comments she was throwing at me were no where near the truth.

I put down my knife and fork and pushed my plate to the side so I could get a really good look at her. Placing my elbows on the table and steepling my hands I looked over them at the beauty before me.

What I saw of course was an absolutely beautiful woman that could grace the cover of any fashion magazine anywhere in the world. Her body was something any man would die for and of course a guy like me would crawl over broken glass on top of a bed of hot coals for. Her lips were just perfectly kissable and her features were flawless and her eyes..."

I stopped for a second and then looked into them again. Her eyes although striking and beautiful looked like they had seen far more than someone her age should have. They did not belong on someone as young as she did, these were the eyes of someone much older, very much older. As I continued to look into them I saw them begin to sparkle with humor and mischief as they saw I had worked it out.

"I have no idea how old you are Anna but you are definitely not as young as you look which means, because of what we have been talking about maybe you are indeed a vampire."

I said it so calmly and matter of fact but inside I was freaking out a little. I was sitting across a table from a real life Vampire and all I could think about was she was HOT. Okay collect your thoughts a little I told myself. Hang on you know her face as well. It has been haunting your face for months and you have been trying to get it right on your computer for just as long.

"You are the one I have been trying to draw, who has been in my head for so long. Did you do that or is something else going on. Oh and by the way I have no problems with what you are. It is just you and so far I like you unless you are going to try to drain me dry, then we have a problem. I am going to have to try to kill you and the only steak I see is the one on my plate and I really don't think that is going to work," I told her grinning.
 
I smirked as James tried to sound threatening. As if he could fight me off if I wanted to drink his life away. He'd have no chance, but it was cute to think that he would try. He did finally see the age in my eyes, maybe he had already seen it and was simply dismissing it as something that can't be real. Vampires have degraded into myth after all, and people now a days were far less likely to believe in something mystical or supernatural.

I leaned foreward and pulled Jason's plate in front of me. I then calmly took my plate and dumped the cut steak onto his plate. The new plate of food I simply pushed back in front of him. "I can hear your stomach still growling. Eat." I told him, gesturing to the food.

I smiled and watched him carefully. "I am what you think I am. I am a vampire, a 795 year old vampire at that." I leaned back a little, then in a flash I was suddenly sitting beside him having moved across the table so fast it was impossible for him to see. I was just suddenly there. "But do not be afraid Jason. I am not here to hurt you, in fact I am more afraid of you than you might think."

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I have been alone a very long time. I have been perfectly happy with it, as I could get any company I want, whenever I desired should I have that desire. But when I saw you.....something clicked, some kind of unwarrented need awakened inside of me. I was drawn to you, and I couldn't figure out why."

I looked toward him, "After seeing the girl on your computer, perhaps it should be clear that you are bound to me somehow. Or maybe I am bound to you. The universe wanted us to meet, wanted us to I don't know really. And I can't imagine why. But..." I shrugged, "I cannot hide from the pull you have on me. You are like the sun and I am merely a planet that could not escape your gravity if I tried."
 
I did as she commanded and began to eat again. She was right, I was indeed hungry but then she did something that almost killed me. As I was chewing on a piece of meat she disappeared from her side of the table only to reappear on mine. I almost choked on the food in my mouth but managed to hide it with a quick drink of water.

My god if that did not prove her claim to me I don't think anything but a full on feeding would. So I was definitely sitting next to the most beautiful woman in the world who just happened to be 795 years old and a Vampire to boot. Even more astounding was the fact that she was afraid of me.

As I heard her explanation though I began to understand why. She was used to living on her own and by her own rules and now here I was mucking up her lifestyle. Of course I had no control over this, indeed she was doing the same to me, but it had to be worse for her.

"Look Anna I have no idea why we have been brought together, but I can honestly say I am not going to complain. I have gotten to meet an amazing woman who has in the space of less than a day managed to change my life. However I can see that you are extremely disturbed by what is going on and if it helps I don't mind if you leave right now. You say you can't escape but I think you could if you tried hard enough, after all I am nothing special. So if you wish to leave just walk away and I will understand."

I looked at her with a look of longing in my eyes but also a look of understanding as I waited for her to make her decision.
 
I turned my attention to him with an incredulous look. Did he not understand what this was? I couldn't leave him if I tried. I don't know if it was love, but it was surely need. Maybe part of me wanted a companion. I had been alone for a very long time and perhaps it was time to settle into a relationship again.

It showed a great character within Jason thay he would sacrifice his own desires for my own. I could leave and he would say nothing but I knew his heart would break, because I believe mine would as well.

Fuck me sideways with a turtle dick. (Science joke)

What could I do? I couldn't leave him. In little more than 24 hours I have become attached to him.

I smiled and elbowed him softly. "Silly boy. You know nothing so stop trying to be the love martyr. I am not going anywhere. Except maybe to get my own dinner, but that can wait until you are asleep. Tell you want....if it makes thing easier on you. Why not ask me some questions. Surely all those vampire books and movies have left your curious." I gave him a knowing smirk then flashed myself back to my original seat. That way I could look at him without caning my neck.
 
I smiled in happiness.She was not going to leave. I had prayed she wouldn't as I was sure I would not have been able to stand it now that I had met her, but she had seemed so upset that I had to give her that opportunity. Now however I knew she was going to be here and my heart soared. I almost missed what she was saying and I realized that she was again sitting across from me. I liked that as I got to look at her beautiful face again.

"Oh question time. Okay but be prepared to have your eyes talked off," I said chuckling. "Well I guess from your earlier comments that whole sun thing is a lot of bull, which will be nice. I would like to take you a few places and it would be awkward to do that only at night." Then I realized what I had just said and I blushed. "Ahhh that is to say if you would like to go to these places with me. I was not implying that you had to or that we were in any way involved or anything it was just..." I trailed off blushing a very bright red.

"Okay to change the subject entirely, what about holy objects and silver. I am thinking that is a lot of hogwash as well. If you were religious before why would it suddenly harm you?"

"Then there is that glamour thing, although in your case I might believe that," I smiled. "I do believe with your looks and smile you could get any male and quite a few females to do anything you wanted them to do."

"However the one thing I really want to know about is the transformation. I have a bet with a friend. I say it is crap, he swears it is true." I looked at her with a little bit of worry in my eyes, "Please tell me I have won the bet."
 
I couldn't control my smile widen as the flood of questions from his mouth. He knew his vampire lore....or rather his vampire bullshit and the questions showed it. The most interesting thing was that he had a competition about vampire facts with a friend apparently. It was cute. Then it was even more adorable that he wanted to show me places. Like a date. He wanted to date the 795 year old vampire, awwww.

I nodded, "Religious items have no effect on me. I don't like church, but mostly because I have seen enough of humanity to know that they will use God to justify genocide. It takes quite a bit to sicken a monster, but that sicked me. You're welcome for me handling that whole Hitler situation by the way."

I smirked, "I cannot shapeshift. That's werewolves, but they are almost extinct as far as I am aware. You can brag to your friends that you are the vampire master." I grinned and waved my hands. "Or whatever you wanna call it."

I reached over and cupped his hand. "I would love to see your secret places...not just the bedroom." I chuckled.
 
I almost choked again, but this time it was in surprise. She wanted to see my bedroom! Did that mean she wanted to do what I thought she wanted. I blushed even more deeply and looked down. Then I looked directly at her determined to get over my feelings of embarrassment. if I was going to be going out with her I was going to have to become more confident.

Then I did a double take. Wait what had she said about werewolves. They were real as well. Oh boy if they were real what else was? "Okay I know that you have to drink blood to survive, but does it have to be human and does it have to be fresh? What I mean is do you hunt for your food or do you get it from a blood bank? Don't worry about grossing me out. I have always known that Vampires drink blood."

I looked at her and tried to imagine her feeding but just couldn't. Oh I knew she had to but she was too beautiful for me to picture her doing it. "I also want to know all about you and your life. I bet you have a lot of stories to tell. You must have seen some amazing things in your lifetime," I smiled at her.
 
I leaned back in my chair and shrugged about the blood thing. He was right, I did need to drink and the longer I went without the more I would need when I did feed. Like now, to truly fill myself back to normal I would need to drink the equivalent of an entire adult human body. Of course I don't kill ....much....anymore, so the plan would probably be sippin off three or four different people. I could spread my feedings out so that each of my donors merely suffering a little headache in the morning. Easily remedied by two Tylenol.

"Sorry no such thing as a vegetarian vampire. Human blood is the only thing that sustains our power. This..." I gestured to the plate of bloody cow leftovers. "Does nothing for me other than make it tolerable to eat. I don't eat food unless I'm need to do it to blend in. If you weren't so strangely connected to me, I would have eaten that meat to keep up the illusion but the vegetables I would have passed of to you as if I was too full to eat another bite. As for the blood bank thing. Blood has a very short shelf life for us, if we don't drink it straight from the source the magical power of life is lost and gains us nothing. I think blood is merely a vessel in which we gain the very essence of a person's life. It is that essence we need not the blood per say."

I shifted again in my seat. "You can run away if you like. But worry not, it won't be you I drink from anytime soon." I assured him with a smile.
 
Run away. She had to be joking. There was no way I was ever going to run away from her. I was already going to stay by her side for as long as she would let me.

"Well maybe if you asked me nicely, I might just be inclined to allow you too," I grinned cheekily at her. "I did tell you that I was not squeamish about such things. However I am not one that falls for all that romantic mush as well." I then blushed again. Damn why did she have this effect over me. "That is not to say that I harbor no romantic feelings towards you though."

It was true. She had just told me that she hunted humans for food, and surely she had killed a few over her long life, and yet I still looked at her in fascination and yes I had to admit to myself, growing attraction. Growing!!! Heck I was already infatuated with her and it would only take a crook of her finger to cause me to be at her beck and call. I so wanted to kiss her luscious lips and explore her body, but I had no idea how to do that and was afraid I would sorely disappoint her as a lover if she ever allowed me that chance.

"Still that is a very interesting thought. If it is not the actual blood that you need, what exactly are you drinking from a person? Perhaps it is the life energy of them, or the Chi as the eastern philosophers would say. Or is it the soul as the church would have us believe. It would be fun to talk with you about it, although I will admit to having an alternative motive. Every moment I spend talking to you is a moment I can also spend looking and being with you."
 
I smiled and said, "Offering me blood? How sweet of you, but I think that is one thing I will keep hidden from you for the time being. A girl has to keep some things to herself after all." I teased. His words proved that he was infatuated with me, something I saw often but usually only when I was trying to lead someone away to be my dinner. With Jason I had used no tricks and no influential techniques, his feelings were was moving but genuine. It made me feel warm inside.

The waiter came to check up on us and I slipped him a hundred dollar bill and told him to keep the change. "Let us go Jason, I wish to see more of your computer talents." I told him.

I took his hand and led him quickly from the restaurant and out to the car. Within minutes we were back in front of his apartment. I grabbed his shoulder and spun him towards me. I gave him a wicked smile and let my eyes change from their normal color to a blood red. Then I latched myself against him, smashing my breasts to his chest while my lips pressed against his, working our mouths together.

"Open the door. Quickly." I breathed.
 
As we left the restaurant I was sure we were just going back to my apartment so I could show her more of my artwork on my computer. All the way back I was thinking of what I could show her. Now that I knew what she was I could actually show her my supernatural collection and she could not only tell me if they actually existed but just how close I had gotten to their actual images.

Suddenly we were back at my place and I was getting ready to open my door when suddenly she grabbed me and spun me towards her. Her eyes turned a dark red and then she was pressed tight up against me and for the first time in my adult life I felt a woman's breasts against my body and another's lips against mine. I was shocked but i tried to respond as best I could. I kissed her back but I knew I was not doing a very good job but she was doing good enough for both of us.

Suddenly she pulled back and was looking at me with lust filled eyes and asked me to open my door. I might not have been as quick as her but I think I was out of her car and to my door in seconds. I had it open and was inside and had turned to see her right behind me. I reached behind her and shut the door and locked it, I did not want anyone disturbing us at all.

"Anna I want to please you but I am afraid I do not have much experience with woman," I said looking at her, then looked down shyly. "Actually I have none," I confessed. I could not lie to her as much as I wanted too. I knew she would know straight away.
 
I eagerly urged him into the room. My body was on fire, completely and utterly. If he hadn't been able to open the door quick enough I would have taken him right there in front of his home. Now that we had separated, I had a second to think and to remember. It occurred to me that I still hadn't fed and as such my core would be exceptional lly unpleasant for him.

Then came his confession of viriginity. I grinned, letting my eyes pour into his. "I know that already. I could smell the virginity in your nuts from a mile away." I teased. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him toward me. I brushed my lips against his and hissed, "I have to go for a few moments. But fear not...I will be back for you."

Then before I lost control of myself I jerked open the door, snapping the lock in the process and slippEd out into the night to find a donor.
 
I had so many emotions running through me that I was hardly aware that she had left for a second. Oh I knew she would be back, I had seen that look before, just never directed at me. I quickly hurried to my bedroom to make sure it looked okay. I really needn't have worried. Unlike most students I was pretty much a neat freak when it came to my room. Everything was tidy and in it's place and my Japanese inspired bedspread was immaculately made. I actually had a queen sized bed thanks to a rather good bargain hunting trip.

I walked back out to my living area and sat down on the couch. I couldn't believe what was going to happen. I was going to loose my virginity to an almost 800 year old vampire and actually thinking about it I was happy. She was one of the most beautiful, intelligent, considerate women I had ever met and yes I was already falling in love with her. I sat and waited for Anna's return and whatever the rest of the night may hold.
 
I ran away far and fast, letting my full speed go as I put miles between me and Jason before finally slowing near an all night truckstop. Was I really doing this? Was I going to feed tonight? Yes. But was I doing it simply to get laid? I don't know.

What I did know was I should keep myself away from Jason. Far away, it was not fair to intrude on his life like this. Was I any different than the vampire who had taken me all those centuries ago? Maybe I was worse. He had saved me from my own rape and murder. Jason was not in any danger other than carpel tunnel.

Still I walked into the truck stop to look for a victim. A blood donor to warm my pussy and make Jason feel good. Selfish if I thought about it. A big man push passed me rudely as I approached the door. He smelt of coffee, whiskey and cigarettes. The waitress inside was upset as the asshole had left exact change for his thirty dollar bill.

Well at least this jerk would deserve the headache I'd leave him with. I spun on my heel and followed him to his truck. Just before he opened the cab door, I grabbed him and spun him hard. He cried out in surprise as I slammed him against his truck. I struck like a snake into his throat, my fang flashing out without thought.

He gaged as my bite choked the windfrom him so he could not scream. I made him hurt as I drank from him, filling myself with the warmth of his useless life. I realized that I was angry at myself and was taking it out of this random guy. I jerked back and felt him limp in my arms.

Shit I had taken too much in my anger. Quickly I healed him as best I could and cleaned him up. He would need a lot of sleep and headache medicine in the morning but he shouldn't have any lasting problems from me. Though the lung cancer developing in his left lung probably would have something to say about his health soon enough.

I ran back to Jason's place unsure of how long I had been gone. I wondered if he was still waiting up. The hints of the sun over the horizon were begining to twinkle through the night sky.

I knocked softly feeling rather bad about what I had done and why. Maybe I would get lucky and he would be too tired to fuck me tonight. I could make it up to him next time. Oh how I could blow his mind and his wad.

Suddenly I was smiling.
 
I was roused from a half slumber by a knock on my door and I looked at the clock on my wall and realized it was getting close to sunrise. I wondered if this was actually Anna or just an early morning visitor. She had been gone for awhile so maybe she had had second thoughts. All of this crossed my mind as I was walking quickly to the door but as I opened it I was greeted by the sight of her smiling face.

I smiled back and then stepped aside. "Won't you come in. I would offer to cook you breakfast but I know that is a pretty hollow gesture. Why don't you just make yourself at home instead. You must be a little out of breath or tired, you have been gone a little while."

I waited until she had entered then shut the door. As I went to lock it I found that it was broken. Hmm that must have happened last night in our haste to get inside. I smiled again at the memory and then paused as I thought about a solution. I did still have the chain so that would have to do for now. I slipped it on and then walked back to the couch and sat down next to her and then looked at her awkwardly. I had now used up all of my knowledge regarding the opposite sex.

Okay not quite, I had of course watched movies and knew what was supposed to happen now, but that was the movies and this was real life. Things like that just did not happen. The sexy woman did not just fall into the geeks arms and start making out with him like he was the sexiest man on earth and the geek did not suddenly become a stud knowing exactly what to do.

"Anna, look, if you want to wait or anything I am fine with that. Like I said I am a Virgin and I have no idea what I am doing here. Inviting you in and asking you to sit down is basically the extent of my knowledge. I have never even kissed a girl since I was six years old," I blushed. "I really want to please you a lot but I am afraid I am going to be a bubbling idiot," I confessed.

I looked at her and prayed she would know what to do.
 
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