I wonder if I'm a submissive.

[Lorelei_11]

Yes, there is always something else to learn; something interesting. And the kinky aspect seems to appeal to me. But in order for me to do anything beyond vanilla, I have to almost zone out (that's a bad description, but it'll have to do for now). Even then there's a part of me watching from the side lines, ready to say 'no' even though it might be a mere whisper. I can never be totally submissive. And the idea of being a slave is not of any interest to me.

hmmm.. I don't zone out, I zone right in. I get right into it. I love naughty, kinky things, they really get my juices flowing.

I have no interest in being a slave either.

 

[Cricket Song]

hmmm.. I don't zone out, I zone right in. I get right into it. I love naughty, kinky things, they really get my juices flowing.

I have no interest in being a slave either.

"Zone out" was the wrong description, but had I stopped to find a better one, I would have lost my train of thought and probably not have posted the reply at all. It definately isn't "zoning in" as you've mentioned. Even though I'm zoning out, I'm fully aware of everything, probably more so than at any other time. Everything seems to happen so fluidily. Just weird I guess. The kinky stuff is a turn on for myself too. But I have a tendency to become uninterested while I'm in the middle of it. Like someone threw a switch.

 

[FurryFury]

Wow! Thankyou for all the information and understanding of my situation. Understanding that I don't really understand where I'd fit in.

Oh, and glad you liked the Av. The animated sex cartoon Av's are my favorites. They are wicked, naughty, twisted and its just wrong. lol I love them. They are fun too, fun and sex go together sometimes.

I'm a good girl and typical a bit conservative. Yet, in the bedroom I'm kinky. Snow White is like me in that Av. I like the idea of all that stimulation. I kind of like the idea of someone watching me have sex... perhaps the thought that I might be caught, seen by someone. I've never tried it. I have heard its possible to get away with, I'd never really want to be caught. Just the thought that its possible however slim of a chance to get caught.

I'd be a bottom that would like to be dominated a little. I like it when having sex doggy style and he would push his hand down on my back, kind of pin me there. So I do like some dominance. Just not calling someone master and asking them to make me cum, asking permission to cum... maybe. If told, do you want me to spank you, ask for it... say please. That is not for me. I want him to simply make me cum.

I suppose in time I'll figure it out.

*smiles* You sound like a great person.

What I LOVE about the av is it is so twisted! I adore that! I don't normally even like cartoon things but that is great!

I'm sure you'll figure out what you feel you are. Just experiment some and give yourself time.

Fury

 

[Lorelei_11]

"Zone out" was the wrong description, but had I stopped to find a better one, I would have lost my train of thought and probably not have posted the reply at all. It definately isn't "zoning in" as you've mentioned. Even though I'm zoning out, I'm fully aware of everything, probably more so than at any other time. Everything seems to happen so fluidily. Just weird I guess. The kinky stuff is a turn on for myself too. But I have a tendency to become uninterested while I'm in the middle of it. Like someone threw a switch.

That is odd, it sounded like your partially leaving your body. Not completely present within yourself. Perhaps your saying its only in the middle, when the switch gets thrown?

I get right into it, and the longer I do it the more interested I'am. I'm focused on the act and extreme sexual pleasure I'm getting from it.

 

[Lorelei_11]

*smiles* You sound like a great person.

What I LOVE about the av is it is so twisted! I adore that! I don't normally even like cartoon things but that is great!

I'm sure you'll figure out what you feel you are. Just experiment some and give yourself time.

Fury

Thankyou.

I like the twisted aspect a lot. Cartoons, so pure and innocent and sweet. They are like me, and then in the bedroom I like to be naughty... like Snow white in the Av.

Yeah, I have become comfortable with my kinky side, my highly sexual nature. I knew most of what I was into due to my fantasies. I was repressed sexually for a long time. I came to lit to further explore.

 

[Kierae]

"Zone out" was the wrong description, but had I stopped to find a better one, I would have lost my train of thought and probably not have posted the reply at all. It definately isn't "zoning in" as you've mentioned. Even though I'm zoning out, I'm fully aware of everything, probably more so than at any other time. Everything seems to happen so fluidily. Just weird I guess. The kinky stuff is a turn on for myself too. But I have a tendency to become uninterested while I'm in the middle of it. Like someone threw a switch.

dissociation is the word you are looking for - at least its the process which you are describing....

 

[Cricket Song]

That is odd, it sounded like your partially leaving your body. Not completely present within yourself. Perhaps your saying its only in the middle, when the switch gets thrown?

I get right into it, and the longer I do it the more interested I'am. I'm focused on the act and extreme sexual pleasure I'm getting from it.

Yeah, it did sound that way, but that's not what I ment. I think the middle is closer. I'm fully aware of everything, every sight sound scent touch and taste. But I'm just repeating myself in different ways. I hate it when something elludes explanation.

That's almost the opposite of me. The longer I do it, the greater the chance of me suddenly losing interest. I can still go through the motions and such. But my mind is miles away or very present wanting to get it over with. I don't like doing that to people.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Yeah, it did sound that way, but that's not what I ment. I think the middle is closer. I'm fully aware of everything, every sight sound scent touch and taste. But I'm just repeating myself in different ways. I hate it when something elludes explanation.

That's almost the opposite of me. The longer I do it, the greater the chance of me suddenly losing interest. I can still go through the motions and such. But my mind is miles away or very present wanting to get it over with. I don't like doing that to people.

I hate it when that happens to me too. When I can't find the right words to clearly explain something I'm going through.

I understand what you mean now. Like you said, disinterest. Its not a good thing, since both people need to be enjoying the sexual act.

I hope you find some way of working this out.

 

[Cricket Song]

I hate it when that happens to me too. When I can't find the right words to clearly explain something I'm going through.

I understand what you mean now. Like you said, disinterest. Its not a good thing, since both people need to be enjoying the sexual act.

I hope you find some way of working this out.

WooHoo!! I was actually understood ...

But seriously, I hope so too. It can be frustrating.

 

[Lorelei_11]

WooHoo!! I was actually understood ...

But seriously, I hope so too. It can be frustrating.

I imagine it can. That would drive me nuts.

 

[Cricket Song]

I imagine it can. That would drive me nuts.

I actually feel more sorry for my partner. Can you imagine what an ego boost it must be to find out that the person that was totally into it at the start is suddenly no longer interested and is simply going through the motions now? But this is now off topic... I think the real topic is you and your submissive behavior.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I actually feel more sorry for my partner. Can you imagine what an ego boost it must be to find out that the person that was totally into it at the start is suddenly no longer interested and is simply going through the motions now? But this is now off topic... I think the real topic is you and your submissive behavior.

Yeah, I hope you do get it worked out, like I said earlier, both people need to be into the sex.

I think I'm not really submissive. Even in terms of a bottom. I think I'm more just on the kinky side of things wanting to be tied up on occassion and lightly spanked.

 

[Cricket Song]

Yeah, I hope you do get it worked out, like I said earlier, both people need to be into the sex.

I think I'm not really submissive. Even in terms of a bottom. I think I'm more just on the kinky side of things wanting to be tied up on occassion and lightly spanked.

That's what I kinda thought about your original question. But, being kinda new, I didn't want to voice it in case I was wrong. I've very good at being wrong.

 

[bmw1080]

Yeah, I hope you do get it worked out, like I said earlier, both people need to be into the sex.

I think I'm not really submissive. Even in terms of a bottom. I think I'm more just on the kinky side of things wanting to be tied up on occassion and lightly spanked.

Being kinky does not need to equate to being a sub. I am sure (hope) we all like to explore our sexual boundaries. When it becomes uncomfortable then it stops. Creating sexual tension in the first place, usaing your greatest sexual organ (the brain) is always a great start.

Setting a scene where just talk, for instance of smacking a bottom, can ofetn lead to fantastic sex, without even physically carrying out the process.

 

[Lorelei_11]

That's what I kinda thought about your original question. But, being kinda new, I didn't want to voice it in case I was wrong. I've very good at being wrong.

I'm not positive, but it seems like the bottoms get into it a bit more than I do.

 

[Cricket Song]

I'm not positive, but it seems like the bottoms get into it a bit more than I do.

I always thought that 'bottom' was another term for 'submissive'. Shows how much I know.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Being kinky does not need to equate to being a sub. I am sure (hope) we all like to explore our sexual boundaries. When it becomes uncomfortable then it stops. Creating sexual tension in the first place, usaing your greatest sexual organ (the brain) is always a great start.

Setting a scene where just talk, for instance of smacking a bottom, can ofetn lead to fantastic sex, without even physically carrying out the process.

Yes, I agree that its the brain. Someone said whats the most important sexual organ, and the answer its in the 6 inches between your ears.

I like light spanking. I want to be tied up, even gagged. I want to use fake handcuffs. I'm not sure that alone, makes me a bottom.

 

[bmw1080]

Yes, I agree that its the brain. Someone said whats the most important sexual organ, and the answer its in the 6 inches between your ears.

I like light spanking. I want to be tied up, even gagged. I want to use fake handcuffs. I'm not sure that alone, makes me a bottom.

I don't think you are a bottom from how you describe your needs.

Try silk scarves....done right they allow you the ability to release yourself if needed.

I have enjoyed rubbing a partner's pantyless butt as we walked around a city one day....she knew after a while what was to happen when we got back to the house. But once she knew, it was still 5 hours later before I had her walk to me and bend over my knee. During that time I continued to caress her butt....she knew...

 

[Lorelei_11]

I don't think you are a bottom from how you describe your needs.

Try silk scarves....done right they allow you the ability to release yourself if needed.

I have enjoyed rubbing a partner's pantyless butt as we walked around a city one day....she knew after a while what was to happen when we got back to the house. But once she knew, it was still 5 hours later before I had her walk to me and bend over my knee. During that time I continued to caress her butt....she knew...

I'm still not fully sure. Can you describe the needs a bottom would have, that you don't see me having?

Yes, silk scarves would be great. I don't want to really be tied up, I would like the fantasy of it. I'm kind of claustrophobic and being really tied up would freak me out rather than turn me on.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I always thought that 'bottom' was another term for 'submissive'. Shows how much I know.

Me too, I'm learning more.

 

[bmw1080]

I'm still not fully sure. Can you describe the needs a bottom would have, that you don't see me having?

Yes, silk scarves would be great. I don't want to really be tied up, I would like the fantasy of it. I'm kind of claustrophobic and being really tied up would freak me out rather than turn me on.

Just the way you chat here. Silk scarves are the way for you to go. make sure you have the right partner. Even working up to a silk scarf over your eyes. let your senses be alive without the visual backup.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Just the way you chat here. Silk scarves are the way for you to go. make sure you have the right partner. Even working up to a silk scarf over your eyes. let your senses be alive without the visual backup.

The handcuffs I described are fake. They can be popped off easily when your in them. I have tried a friends on they can be bought at a love shop.

I still don't know the exact needs a bottom has that I wouldn't.

Yes, silk scarves, and a blindfold. The sensations are more intense when a person can't see. Not knowing what they are going to do next as well. I don't like to be teased though.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Judging by the chat here it looks like you've figured quite a bit out for yourself. Yay!

Lemmie address your previous reply, old hat though it may be.
I didn't mean to "fuck with you" ; I'm switch myself, which is to say that I like both sides of the rope, as it were. So that 'huh.' was more of a "you don't know what your missing" than to say that I thought you should be.

Personally, the bit about having your finances controled, that would freak me out too, but it really wasn't what I was talking about.

I've had experiences with submission that did not involve sex that I could best describe as spiritual...



... thats more like what I was talking about.

In anycase, the best advice I can think of; is not to focus so much on how you fit other people's labels. The labels really don't matter so much. Never been a fan of them anyway (lol.... seems that most switches aren't)

You said huh, in terms of me never being submissive. Glad you weren't fucking with me. I'm telling you that I'm not a sub, in terms of a slave.. this I know.

I like other forms of submission liked being spanked or tied up.

You speak to me like you know I'm a switch, why do you think that?

The only time I get dominant is on occassion I will approach the guy I'm with for sex. I do this about 20% of the time. The rest of the time I want him to approach me. I do it because sometimes I get horny, really horny and I don't like the idea of smiling and batting my eyelashes and wiggling my ass to hopefully get his attention.

I will approach him, kiss him, hug him, whisper sexy things in his ear while I kiss his neck. Warm soft breath caressing his neck between kisses. Kiss and suck on his ear, while I press my breasts into him... gawd I'm horny, I need you to make me cum. I want to ride your cock until you explode.

I'm not exactly subtle when I'm that horny. I have other means of getting what I want as well.

Does this make me a switch?

 

[fingermagic]

I don't know that much about BDSM. Maybe you can help me, I might be a submissive but I'm not sure.

I'm not submissive in everyday life, that I know for sure. I'm not dominant either, somewhere in between.

In the bedroom, I'm totally not into the slave thing. I don't like to be deprived or teased. I don't want to be on my knee's and serve completely.

What I do enjoy is a spanking. Anal sex is something I want to explore. I would love to be tied up and blindfolded. I like to be instructed. I enjoy being dominated in these ways, and other subtle ways.

Does this make me a submissive?

Ah, I think you are suffering from "ala carte" BDSM. Choose what you like and leave the rest. Not a thing wrong with that.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Ah, I think you are suffering from "ala carte" BDSM. Choose what you like and leave the rest. Not a thing wrong with that.

I'm beginning to realize that. I think most people right into bdsm might not find me compatable. So, I'll just go with the wide range of things I'm into and one day find the right person who matches me sexually, and of course in other ways.