I'll Tell You All the Story 'Bout the Teenage Angst vs. The Philosophical Night

[KiaraNightshadow]

Here's my two cents:

If you keep trying to wait for the right moment, you're going to be waiting a long time. It's to be expected, though; you're nervous about it and you've been holding this in for a long time.

Don't write a letter, just tell her. It will mean more to her that you have the guts to say it and it will be SO much more fulfilling to you knowing you've followed through with what you want to do. Take her aside one day, and just be direct and honest.

What's the worst she could do? Reject you? You've already accepted this, so why is it still a problem? And if she does return your feelings, what will you do? You might want to answer these questions before making a move.

Do with your life what you want, I'm just throwing this out there since this is a public place, after all.

 

[4bidnfruit]

I've been in similar shoes with a guy that I was head over heels for almost 3 years but he had a girlfriend the majority of that time. After they broke up, I finely told him how I felt and his response was "flattered but not interested."

However, just bringing up my interest, I moved from "one of the guys" to "this hot girl who likes me" category. We ended up getting together four months later, married the year after and are still together 8 years after that.

Be honest, do it with no one else around and make sure she doesn't feel trapped into giving you a response on the fly.

Big different here~ you didn’t feel the need to ask permission.
...............
She just got out of a two-year relationship with your best friend and I could be wrong but it seems to me that two months isn’t long enough to get past the stigma of being a homie (sp) hopper. What happens if your friend decides that he has a problem with it? She has more to consider than one man confessing his love for her, especially since that man felt obligated to ask permission. I understand the logic in talking to him and it is respectable but I’d be hearing “bros before hoes” in the back of my head.

Good luck and hope it all works out for you. Sometimes we just need to get it off our chest.

 

[Mac98]

It's DONE!

I appreciate all the advice. I took all of it into consideration and had more than enough time to think about it.

Yesterday, I invited her out to my cottage up north, telling her I had to talk to her about something. It's where I initially fell in love with her and I know she's always liked the place, so I was happy we could both be somewhere we're comfortable. I wasn't expecting her to sleep over, so I didn't tell her anything last night... instead, we just had a real fun time by the water (we slept on the wharf like we used to at my birthday parties). It was the first time in a long time that I had some one on one time with her and recognized the girl I fell in love with (funny, kind, extroverted, etc.). In the end, we spoke a lot about her last relationship (with my best friend) but didn't go too far into details. She's obviously still not completely over him, but she did say she isn't in love with him anymore... which made it easier for me to tell her how I felt. I'm not sure I could have done so had she said otherwise...

So we spent the night outside, under a star-littered sky joking and talking while floating on the water. It was a really nice night sleeping outside and watching the sun come up. Wow, listen to me, I sound like I spent the most romantic night of my life.

Ok, well then that being said, it was strictly on a friends level, believe it or not. There was no cuddling during the night. Our backs were leaned up against each other, but that was because we were sleeping on a pretty small matress. The next morning (or 5 hours later -_-), which is technically THIS morning, we stayed in "bed" just mumbling stupidities and listening to music. About 1 hour and a half later, she said she had to leave (to run errands) but before she left, I just told her I'd talk to her another time about what I had initially invited her up for. At this point, she stepped out of her car, not saying a word and went back down to the wharf and asked me what it was I wanted to say.

So I let the cat out of the bag as well as discuss a few other subjects on that matter. Suprisingly enough, she was incredibly receptive and open to discuss, well, everything. She was surprised to hear it, but she didn't shut down or feel awkward or anything. Of course, I told her that I had feelings for her for the longest time and that I had just recently started getting over it and that only recently had started to heal those wounds. She felt a little guilty but was still open and receptive (gosh, I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again).

In the end, by the time she left, we were both fine with everything. I thanked her for coming up and she still wanted to come up for my birthday (which is in 2 weeks). She was even willing to come up for the full 5 days. In the end, it broke a lot of the tension between the two of us (believe it or not!) and I feel much more comfortable around her now.

For those who need to know: She never flat out told me she didn't have feelings for me or never did, but I did tell her I knew she didn't have feelings for me and she didn't say anything... she was almost neutral about it, suggesting I was right. But I don't mind anymore! And she knows that. I'm still going to pursue a friendship with her which I think will be much easier now that this is all out of the way.

So what's been nagging me for the past 4 years and tugging down at me for so long is now over. To celebrate that, once she left, I sprinted across my wharf and jumped into the lake and swimming never felt better. It'll be nice to start my 20th birthday with all that behind me and be able to start the new decade on a newer note.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who offered their help, support and advice through all this. It really cleared things up in my mind and helped out more than most of you may realize. So again, thank you to everyone!

BTW, my best friend was still ok with it and called me this afternoon to ask me how it went.

Mac

PS: That's a really nice story, Vixandra and I'm really happy things worked out for you in the end. I doubt things'll work out between me and her in the end, but it's still nice to see that some people get the happy endings. So congradulations on that. Koodos to you and good luck with your relationship with your husband. I wish all the best for you.

 

[coastal-boy]

what matters is that you are free of that burden. Today is good day. The ball is now in her court. Let her mull it over and decide. Just keep acting as friends. But if you do want to score points...the next time you see her, smile and don't hide the blush. Nothing more needs to be said. And above all else, treat her as a friend. That is my opinion. Congrats.

 

[Mac98]

Thanks! Those are my intentions, yes. I don't care if it ever develops or not, but I will try to maintain a friendship with her. But yeah, it's definately a load off my chest and am ecstatic to how she reacted. I'm really happy she reacted the way she did.

 

[culloden]

Good for you, Mac.

Of course, it's not over, but the part that scared you is.

 

[Luna_Bella]

awesome! let us know how your birthday turns out!

 

[Mac98]

Good for you, Mac.

Of course, it's not over, but the part that scared you is.

My thoughts exactly. I've let go of pretty much all the anxiety and stress surrounding this girl and now I can just have fun in her presence. It's quite a different feeling!

awesome! let us know how your birthday turns out!

Will do !

 

[Vixandra]

\PS: That's a really nice story, Vixandra and I'm really happy things worked out for you in the end. I doubt things'll work out between me and her in the end, but it's still nice to see that some people get the happy endings. So congradulations on that. Koodos to you and good luck with your relationship with your husband. I wish all the best for you.

Thank you very much. I'm glad to have helped.

Glad things worked out peacefully, even if they didn't end in a happy ending. Closure is sometimes more important. Have a great birthday.

 

[Mac98]

I can't say I didn't get the happy ending. Sure, I won't live happily ever after with her, but at least peace was made and we're both open to rebuilding a friendship. I'd feel greedy to ask for more, but thank you.

And thank you for the birthday wishes.