infamous LITEROTICAN, little ralphie, honored by Bulwer-Lytton Prize Committee

[Guest]

Here’s an opening sentence from one of LITEROTICA’S most famous authors. And I think it demonstrates that bad openings don’t necessarily doom a story. In fact, maybe, if a reader has no idea what the author is trying to say, if the sentence utterly confuses him, the reader just has to continue on to get an explanation.

Imagine a big guy with a rubber mallet in your chest and he's banging on a steel drum.

No this is not a rubber mallet, it’s a painting by jean baptiste mallet…

As before the first person to correctly identify the story and the author will receive a ScouriesWorld prize pack.​

[size=+2]Gabrielle L.[/size]
President, A.I.R.
Secretery of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story clubs
and 2011 Survivor Contest Director
Miami Beach, Florida

 

[TxRad]

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to Another of ScouriesFantasyWorlds[/SIZE]

Home of LITEROTICA’S GREATEST FRAUD

Where Scouries ego is the one and only thing that counts.

 

[Guest]

We have another winner!!!!

Rhonda McHaffety of Upper Penisuls, Michigan was the first LITEROTICAN to correctly name the story and the author of the following first sentence:

Imagine a big guy with a rubber mallet in your chest and he's banging on a steel drum.


Which just proves that not everyone from the Upper Penisula is as dumb as our AHland Upper Penisulan. FYI the sentence was from the most viewed story on the site! We’ve already FedExed a ScouriesWorld prize pack out to our happy winner! Congratulations Rhonda!

​

[size=+2]Gabrielle L.[/size]
President, A.I.R.
Secretery of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story clubs
and 2011 Survivor Contest Director
Miami Beach, Florida

 

[Guest]

and don't forget why we're here...

2011 Bulwer-Lytton Worst Opening Sentence honouree named...

superheroralphie a.k.a. little ralphie a.k.a. bettyboob a.k.a. carboy a.k.a.forestwill but not BFW

​

 

[Guest]

Here’s an opening sentence from one of LITEROTICA’S most famous authors. It’s a strange opening sentence (muddy fields AND dense forest) but it didn’t deter any readers.

Suzanne was running for her life through muddy fields and dense forest, attempting to evade the sniper who was on her tail.

As before the first person to correctly identify the story and the author will receive a ScouriesWorld prize pack. ​

[size=+2]Gabrielle L.[/size]
President, A.I.R.
Secretery of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story clubs
and 2011 Survivor Contest Director
Miami Beach, Florida

 

[TxRad]

We have another winner!!!!

Rhonda McHaffety of Upper Penisuls, Michigan was the first LITEROTICAN to correctly name the story and the author of the following first sentence:

Imagine a big guy with a rubber mallet in your chest and he's banging on a steel drum.


Which just proves that not everyone from the Upper Penisula is as dumb as our AHland Upper Penisulan. FYI the sentence was from the most viewed story on the site! We’ve already FedExed a ScouriesWorld prize pack out to our happy winner! Congratulations Rhonda!

​

[size=+2]Gabrielle L.[/size]
President, A.I.R.
Secretery of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story clubs
and 2011 Survivor Contest Director
Miami Beach, Florida

Another load of crap and lies from scouries.

Since there is nothing anywhere called scouriesworld except in his head, how can there be a prize package. Maybe scouries is sending whoever this person is a stack of the monopoly money he thinks he gets paid royalties with from a free site such as Lit.

Poor delusional scouries.

 

[TxRad]

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to Another of ScouriesFantasyWorlds[/SIZE]

Home of LITEROTICA’S GREATEST FRAUD

Where Scouries ego is the one and only thing that counts.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to Another of ScouriesFantasyWorlds[/SIZE]

Home of LITEROTICA’S GREATEST FRAUD

Where Scouries ego is the one and only thing that counts.

Tx? What the Fuck is your problem? Stop posting the same thing time after time! Get over it! We all know it's a joke! And, you are annoying. STOP IT for Chist's Sake. Give it up!

 

[TxRad]

Tx? What the Fuck is your problem? Stop posting the same thing time after time! Get over it! We all know it's a joke! And, you are annoying. STOP IT for Chist's Sake. Give it up!

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to Another of ScouriesFantasyWorlds[/SIZE]

Home of LITEROTICA’S GREATEST FRAUD

Where Scouries ego is the one and only thing that counts.


One way to fight annoying is to be annoying. It is the only thing scouries understands.

 

[Guest]

aunt gabby and LITS #1 author will be back friday! until then...

We have another winner!!!!

Lillian of Odesssa, Texas (home of the world’s only jackrabbit rodeo!) was the first LITEROTICAN to correctly name the story and the author of the following first sentence:

Suzanne was running for her life through muddy fields and dense forest, attempting to evade the sniper who was on her tail.

Which just proves that not everyone from Texas is as dumb as our “dumbest AHer”. FYI the sentence was from the most favorited story on the site! We’ve already FedExed a ScouriesWorld prize pack out to our happy winner! Congratulations Lillian!

​

[size=+2]Jerome[/size]
teenager … champion of “favorite” writers
dixie’s nemesis
retard regurgitator

 

[TxRad]

Tx? What the Fuck is your problem? Stop posting the same thing time after time! Get over it! We all know it's a joke! And, you are annoying. STOP IT for Chist's Sake. Give it up!

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to Another of ScouriesFantasyWorlds[/SIZE]

Home of LITEROTICA’S GREATEST FRAUD

Where Scouries ego is the one and only thing that counts.


One way to fight annoying is to be annoying. It is the only thing scouries understands.

 

[michchick98]

Tx? What the Fuck is your problem? Stop posting the same thing time after time! Get over it! We all know it's a joke! And, you are annoying. STOP IT for Chist's Sake. Give it up!

Doesn't seem to bother you when scouries and Freddie post the same thing time after time. Maybe YOU should get over it.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

My state has a Bully Law in it.


I'm not getting over it.

 

[Darkniciad]

*drink spew*

 

[YoursSINSerely]

*drink spew*

ya see how much fun I am? Knock it off! All of you! If I was closer I'd probly slap ya upside a the head, too.

 

[sr71plt]

ya see how much fun I am? Knock it off! All of you! If I was closer I'd probly slap ya upside a the head, too.

You might try. But you're much too much a lightweight and shadow shill to manage anything like that.

More pathetic than fun.

 

[Darkniciad]

The cutesy thing...

Not working.

You defending scouries is like an episode of COPS. Black eye, fat lip, and crying "But I love him!" as they drag him out of the trailer in handcuffs and he screams "Shut up, whore!" back at you.

I hope you make wiser decisions outside the internet box than you do inside it.

 

[lovecraft68]

The cutesy thing...

Not working.

You defending scouries is like an episode of COPS. Black eye, fat lip, and crying "But I love him!" as they drag him out of the trailer in handcuffs and he screams "Shut up, whore!" back at you.

I hope you make wiser decisions outside the internet box than you do inside it.

This entire thread is meant as a joke. Scouries own thread is as well. Except for a couple of newbies and rubes thinking his AIR contests are real he does no harm.

In fact he is one of the few light hearted people on a site that has more than it's share of people who are full of themselves.

Now instead of picking on "sincerely" up there and getting your pocket protector in an uproar just do what you always do, stalk the feedback portal and create graphs with your web coding.

And as for your battered spouse analogy? get real you idiot, the girl, like scouries, and unlike yourself and your boyfriend PIlot who you follow around like a groupie has a sense of humor.

 

[Darkniciad]

Gay smear, nerd smear, and a hefty dose of don't like being proven wrong. Nice

I'll just sit back, paint an "I told you" sign, and wait until your new buddy scouries turns on you like a rabid dog.

I doubt it will take very long. You're a larger than usual threat to his ego since you're stalking his category.

 

[sr71plt]

Yep, Lovecraft's going the Freddie route with Scouries. Some of his rants even remind me of Freddie.

 

[Guest]

still filling in for aunt gabby...

Here’s an opening sentence from one of LITEROTICA’S greatest authors. I think this one is going to be pretty easy! We’ll see ...

"Daddy," I whispered as I glided across the moonlit room, stopping only when my trembling knees gently brushed against the silk sheets on his king size bed.

As before the first person to correctly identify the story and the author will receive a ScouriesWorld prize pack. ​

[size=+2]Jerome[/size]
teenager … champion of “favorite” writers
dixie’s nemesis
retard regurgitator

 

[lovecraft68]

Here’s an opening sentence from one of LITEROTICA’S greatest authors. I think this one is going to be pretty easy! We’ll see ...

"Daddy," I whispered as I glided across the moonlit room, stopping only when my trembling knees gently brushed against the silk sheets on his king size bed.

As before the first person to correctly identify the story and the author will receive a ScouriesWorld prize pack. ​

[size=+2]Jerome[/size]
teenager … champion of “favorite” writers
dixie’s nemesis
retard regurgitator

Okay that's from "Oh Daddy....I whispered. By Scouries. Now pm me and I'll send you my address so I can get my damn prize pack!

 

[michchick98]

ya see how much fun I am? Knock it off! All of you! If I was closer I'd probly slap ya upside a the head, too.

Yeah, that'll do the trick.

 

[TxRad]

Okay that's from "Oh Daddy....I whispered. By Scouries. Now pm me and I'll send you my address so I can get my damn prize pack!

I wouldn't hold my breath. Fake prizes from a fake place take an awfully long time to deliver. UPS doesn't have a fantasy division.

 

[lovecraft68]

I wouldn't hold my breath. Fake prizes from a fake place take an awfully long time to deliver. UPS doesn't have a fantasy division.

Right, but what I'm hoping is he will say it got lost and I can put in a claim with UPS and get some of the monopoly money, the same he gets for his royalties.