Interact 6 - WickedEve says

[WickedEve]

Boy, am I glad to hear that. I sure don't want to talk about your ass. Your ass is the last thing I want to talk about. I'd rather talk about almost anything rather than about your ass. There must be a million things I'll talk about before I'll talk about your ass. Your ass is so low on the list, I might never get there. In fact, I can't think of anything I would talk about after your ass. Your ass is absolutely untalkaboutable.

Sooooo.....

Uh... thanks fly.

 

[WickedEve]

As far as suggestions go, either way, most have emailed me. I would like to mention, that I disagree with that song
"don't know much about poetry"
you are singing, you know more than you say and enough to know how far there is to go.
As far as editing goes, I have posted things, as soon as I go read the comments, I see things that I would have liked to changed, even it wasn't mentioned.

I am glad you had fun, if you are done, I will wrap it up, I do want to post at least one more. In interact 5 jd4george talked about the use of references (or allusions), one of yours is a good example of how to go from here to there in a matter of seconds with this use. Plus it has, what I perceive, a mistake.

I also have to do a summary, there is something here, I don't think I've seen, it is worth saying again.

I was wrapping up because I thought you were wrapping up. I don't want to bore everyone to death with too much eve.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: What is wrong with this picture

Remember those things, they used to give you when you were 5 years old "What is wrong with this picture"

Scream
by WickedEve ©
-
©2002


In the night kitchen,
where grandparents cloned
American Gothic in scream masks,
gaunt and frozen,

bones climbed mine like ivy,
then spread beneath the table,
her oval fear elongating
into Munch's scream.

Hush, Hannah, hush.
We will lock the screams away.

one word, one phrase, seems not to work, and should be changed

This is an earlier poem of mine and I wrote it when I was in my earlier phase of learning. So, I bet it does have boo boos! lol I remember editing this not too long ago when I decided to resubmit it to lit. So, what would you change?

 

[twelveoone]

Many times I turn to the terzanelle because I'll come up with one or two good lines but can't come up with anything more. So, I'll start a terzanelle and that's when it all falls into place. The form guides me through the poem. As far as emotional poetry, usually I'll choose free verse... It's not easy to write a "suddenly" terzanelle. lol And it's emotional, too. It's about my car accident in March. That's one I'm reworking now. It has great lines but needs to be edited or made into free verse.

I felt this needed to be repeated, it is an interesting way of looking at the use of a form, "the form guides me though the poem" then she mentions she may turn it into free verse. One can look at this as going from art to craft and back to art again.


many of my poems are much longer. I cut them to the bone. To a degree, I'm a perfectionist. So, I keep cutting until I get rid of the bad flesh and have nothing left by shiny, white bones of a poem.
Pay close attention to each word. Make each word count.

"gah!, bones..."
Paying close attention to each word, this is the essence of both the art and craft of poetry. At the beginning I pulled apart "After the Fall" examined the connations and relationships of the words. She did quite well, and that is only one way of looking at it.
read it aloud to see if has a good rhythm.

 

[twelveoone]

Re: Re: What is wrong with this picture

This is an earlier poem of mine and I wrote it when I was in my earlier phase of learning. So, I bet it does have boo boos! lol I remember editing this not too long ago when I decided to resubmit it to lit. So, what would you change?

do you really need or want "in scream masks" after American Gothic? it detracts from the mutation to the scream

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Re: What is wrong with this picture

do you really need or want "in scream masks" after American Gothic? it detracts from the mutation to the scream

scream masks has to do with the movie scream. the grandparents were wearing scream masks. though, that doesn't have to be included.

 

[tungtied2u]

When I die, if anyone remembers my poetry, I want them to remember the big way I saw my little world.

Out of all the things you said in this interact Eve, this moved me the most.
And I have no doubt you will achieve your goal...