is being a natural submissive good?

[sunfox]

Perhaps she meant someone who is submissive in general, to everyone, and someone who is only submissive to their dom/me. I think the term docile would be better for the former, though. By that definition, I would be an un-natural submissive (even though I don't look it.) I'm a naturally helpful person, I like helping people, but by no means does that mean I like submitting to people (except Mistress, which I love). I agree with that dicing submissive up into little categories is rather pointless though, 'cause there's always gonna be exceptions and it ends up defeating it's own purpose.

I don't know if I could call it submission if you kowtow to every passing person.. I'd call that passive, or lacking in self esteem. Docile could be another way to put it.

But yeah, we have this nature vs. nurture submission question crop up from time to time, and it never goes anywhere.

 

[h_i_s]

ive been told natural submissives are so much easier then a forced submissive.
What do you think?

i would recommend not falling into believing all that you are told. Based on my own experiences, if it were to be a 'forced' submission it would be something that i have not consented to. Therefore i'd not be 'giving' anything, more likely something would have had to have been 'taken' from me. That is an example of potential abuse, (or crime having been committed). (Note: As a slave to INSIDEYOURMIND, i gave my consent one time, and for us, that is enough. He owns me, He owns my submission to Him. It's quite simple this way and this is the way we like it.).

Who is to say what makes any particular submissive a genuine submissive?? (Thier DOM ... and not ANYONE else ... that's who.) i am certain that my Master couldn't care less as to how any other submissive may present herself/himself. He only cares that i present myself with an honor and respect that is complimentary to Him and His needs. Any submissive's or slave's business is only that of his/her DOM's business, no else need judge anyone who is NOT thier's to judge in the first place.

Labels within BDSM in general are quite a silly thing. Breaking down any of the labels into their many subcategories can get pretty messy. Everyone is different regardless. Life is so much more complex, people are much more complex. It would be an insult to pretend that we can succeed in placing everyone into nice neat little labeled packages. Different is good. Labels are B-O-R-I-N-G. *yawns*

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent°º¤ø,¸ proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND

 

[StevenWill]

Words

Once you use the word "submissive" you are putting both limits and expectations on people. Maybe we should try finding out what works for us instead of trying to determine if we qualify for a label or membership in a club. Of course, most of us are "I wanna belong" sluts anyway, and natural ones to boot.

s

 

[h_i_s]

Another one of those double standards I'd trade away for countless multible orgasms like some women have.

SOME?!!? i'd always thought ALL women have them ! No?

Guess i should believe all i have heard around here ... heh.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent°º¤ø,¸ proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND

 

[A Desert Rose]

Like I said... this is a whole can of worms I didn't want to open, and glad I didn't. LOL

 

[Netzach]

I like synthetic subs myself.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I like synthetic subs myself.

LMAO.... it's a good discussion, I'll say that and this just made it really good.

 

[andercole]

natural submissive?

what to look for; one who is predisposed to occupy subspace. how to extract desired behaviour or potential; careful nurturing and subtle observation. good? bad? hmmm

 

[Etoile]

what to look for; one who is predisposed to occupy subspace. how to extract desired behaviour or potential; careful nurturing and subtle observation. good? bad? hmmm

So does this mean that a person who never enters subspace isn't a "natural" submissive?

 

[catalina_francisco]

what to look for; one who is predisposed to occupy subspace. how to extract desired behaviour or potential; careful nurturing and subtle observation. good? bad? hmmm

LOL, hmmmm, for my Masterful One, a predisposition to entering subspace is usually a sign he is not going to have his needs fulfilled, the submissive is going to be more preoccupied with getting to that space for her own pleasure, and he is basically going to become her tool (not her, his tool) in helping her get there so he can then be scening with someone who is no longer able to connect or interact with him in the way he enjoys....being a sadist, that then leaves him little satisfaction and feedback to quench his thirst.

Catalina

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

I agree with you for the most part, but I come from a different perspective. This, to me, is the difference between a submissive and a slave. A submissive, in my opinion, is what you have described - a person who is sexually submissive, and has the control at the end by using a safeword when necessary. A slave, on the other hand, is submissive at all times. Having given the initial consent, they are no longer in control - that is, there are no boundaries to cross, no safewords to use.

I know at least one sub - slave, actually - who is incapable of functioning in normal society without guidance from her Master. In her case, I think it fits very well - she and her Master have a clearly defined relationship, and he is very much her caretaker as well as her lover. Is this bad? Maybe, maybe not, I don't know. But I don't think he's a predator...it's an almost symbiotic relationship.

As for natural vs. forced - it depends on each couple. Maybe the dominant partner wants somebody who is reluctant, who fights back. Or maybe they would prefer somebody who just takes it, with no resistance. I do acknowledge that there is a difference between natural and forced (and let's not get into bratty at this time) but which is "preferable" depends on the partners involved and cannot be determined by outsiders.

Thank you... You grasped my intentions I think... And perhaps my wording wasn't the best on the predator point.. but For most new "Subs" finidng such a "symbiotic relationship" is a dream.. not to say it can't and doesn't happen.. but I've seen to many "docile" female friends get into D/s type relationships for the wrong reasons... most of then abused in the past seeking the "easy way" or an excuse..

what can I say ADR.. I like to crack the cans and take a peek ..