Is physical attraction in a D/s relationship a must?

[Sex & Diamonds]

Thank you..that was a very sweet thing to say!

Most welcome Ma'am

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Having acquired most of my BDSM experience over the internet, I've spent a great deal of time submitting, as it were, to people whose looks I had no idea of. I am currently serving a man who I have never seen before, but who has been a friend of mine online for quite some time. I adore him to death, and I do my best to please him and make him feel both respected and loved.

As I have never seen him, looks are not important in this situation. And he is much older than I am, and that doesn't stop me either. It is a personality that I fall for...

There could be a GORGEOUS man or woman who calls themself Dom/me, but be completely useless in the role, or a complete jerk, etc, and I would rather have a Dom/me that was sure of themselves, caring, compassionate, and strong, and ugly, over that jerky handsome one.

 

[Richard49]

No, never.. it was simply 'play'..

In order for me to be aroused or to hit the wonderful subspace realm... there has to be a mental, physical and emotional control.. none of those things do i surrender when simply play with a Dom/me.

so you just felt pain?

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Presence is important to me. So what the hell does that mean, you're wondering? It's a bunch of variables rolled up into one. Personality, sexuality, physicality, and that always elusive "chemistry." What someone here called "clicky-ness." Even so, Presence is still more that that. I know it when i see it. It's self-assurance. It's a look in the eyes. It's his bearing, the way he stands, walks, moves. There are physical variables that i am attracted to, and it is necessary for me to have those there, as part of that Presence, for me to submit to that person. Without them....there is NO Presence. It just isn't there for me...the whole package isn't complete.

~anelize

 

[Netzach]

Depends.

Physical attraction is definitely needed in a partnership, in one with sexual contact there needs to be enough chemistry, and I'll be perfectly shallow and say physical attraction needs to be part of that mix.

That said, what's physically attractive to me can often be very quirky, specific, and diverse.

I've played where there's been none. I had a slave I was not physically or sexually interested in, beyond the fulfillment of my sexual sadism. It worked well within its parameters.

I've played where there's been none because the people involved didn't even share an orientation. That's kind of ideal for short-term service situations for me, for reasons alluded to in another post. The only situations in which I've been fulfilled as a bottom have been in service to gay men who have no vested sexual interest in me.

Hmmm, though usually *I* considered them or their boots eye candy, could that reinforce the assertion in the first post here?

 

[s'lara]

Depends.

Physical attraction is definitely needed in a partnership, in one with sexual contact there needs to be enough chemistry, and I'll be perfectly shallow and say physical attraction needs to be part of that mix.

That said, what's physically attractive to me can often be very quirky, specific, and diverse.

I've played where there's been none. I had a slave I was not physically or sexually interested in, beyond the fulfillment of my sexual sadism. It worked well within its parameters.

I've played where there's been none because the people involved didn't even share an orientation. That's kind of ideal for short-term service situations for me, for reasons alluded to in another post. The only situations in which I've been fulfilled as a bottom have been in service to gay men who have no vested sexual interest in me.

Hmmm, though usually *I* considered them or their boots eye candy, could that reinforce the assertion in the first post here?

Yep. Especially if the attraction (body and/or boots) served to draw you in for a little bottom heaven. That attraction was enough to make you want to bottom. So, at the time, it was important no?

 

[Jerrymac33]

My Mistress demands that I be in excellent physical condition. She finds that it increases the power she feels when she brings others home and humiliates me in front of them.

She states that it is more shocking for the other men to see that her sub is very well-built and attractive with a larger than average cock.

I was once even very severely punished for missing a workout!

 

[SirTain]

Physical attraction? Well, we are all animals, right? Can't deny what we came from. Sure, physical attraction is part of it, but just part of it. The question of what attracts one to another physically might even make this a moot question.

I'm with Shadowsdream on the eyes, they give a lot more that's lasting than tits and ass. Moreover, how many of us are totally free of being self-conscious about one or more parts of our bodies? I think it's a hoot that my girls want to grab my skinny white-boy ass (and then God made leather pants for the skinny guys).

Not to mention, I've dated some "model" types and, aside from the immediate pleasures of their bodies, I have a more gratifying and emotionally nurturing relationship with my cat! But, hey, that's just me (and Mr. Spumakis, the greatest cat in the world).

Most often, I'm not attracted to what a person looks like or how they are built, but more how they use it, present it. I love to watch a woman's hands and the way she walks. A smile can completely change a person's looks in an instant. Moreover, I think that how a person moves within their own skin is a reflection of who they are inside, and that's what's lasting and mysterious.

I could and have trained girls I wasn't overly physically attracted to, what kept me interested was their minds and their hearts.

And then there's my friend who says "love is a light switch."

 

[FungiUg]

"It's okay to 'love' your pets, but not to 'loooove' your pets!" (The Truth About Cats And Dogs)

 

[sub princess]

"It's okay to 'love' your pets, but not to 'loooove' your pets!" (The Turth About Cats And Dogs)

Hey..... no hi-jacking this thread!! lol

 

[FungiUg]

Hey..... no hi-jacking this thread!! lol

My deepest, most humble apologies Ma'am! I'm so sorry! Really, I'm so sorry! Look, I'm just so fucking sorry!

 

[His Flower]

I think a psychological and emotional attraction will run deeper than any physical attraction whether it be BDSM or not. I mean, if we can't connect psychologically, how far can physical attraction run? Sooner or later, it'll get drawn out. And hmm....now thinking about it.....I think I guess I do like mind fucks. Hmm....suddenly realizing something about myself....

~His Flower~

 

[~ Emmeline ~]

Is physical attraction in a D/s relationship a must?

Physical attraction is just that... physical. It causes a gut reaction, and makes you want something based on another's appearance. That may be fine if you're out to have fun, but seldom is it a wise basis for forming a relationship.

Once upon a time, I was married to what many would call a very handsome man. You know what? Handsome doesn't mean a thing when it comes to having a satisfying relationship. I wasted 7 years of my life hoping that this handsome man would become responsible, quit doing drugs, quit drinking and be a father to his child. I divorced him about 8 years ago, and he's still irresponsible as ever. Thankfully, I'm no longer a part of his messed up world.

Today, I am attracted to a man's mind first... his intelligence, his emotions, his mental stability. Can I trust him with my heart, my body and soul? Do our collective needs mirror each others? Do we share the same goals in life? Do we need each other equally, without self-serving motivation?

I'll take an intelligent, sexy, loving mind over looks any time. True beauty comes from within.


Emme

 

[PaulUK]

In order for me to be aroused or to hit the wonderful subspace realm... there has to be a mental, physical and emotional control.. none of those things do i surrender when simply play with a Dom/me.

So this is where you hide, Sugs... amazing what you can learn about a person *g*

 

[Soron]

The words I keep seeing are, 'in a D/s relationship'. My first D/s relationship lasted 18 years and started out purely from a physical attraction. She was a very exotic, beautiful young woman. From almost the beginning, we lived a lifestyle we couldn't even define, let alone explain to anybody. When it ended, for reasons too lengthy to go into here, I was content to sit and talk to young couples and singles interested in exploring BDSM and the D/s relationship. I did participate at 'play' parties because of my experience. I didn't care if the 'bottom' was attractive, or tall or small... I was there to play.
Early last year, I met someone online who blew my doors off. I got to be with her only once and because of health issues our relationship ended sadly. But, I learned a valuable lesson. Yes, it helps to be physically attracted to someone to be 'in a D/s relationship', but you better also care about who the person is inside.

 

[ownedsubgal]

personally, physical attraction alone doesn't exist for me. i can't just "look" at a still photo of a person for instance, and think gosh, they're hot. their behavior, personality, attitude, etc. is all a part of their attractiveness. it's how the physical goes with everything else. my Master has a glorious body and beautiful face, but if he had the personality of say, gary cooper, i wouldn't glance twice at him, lol. but at the same time, the outside must match the in. a horrible face and body plus a great personality won't do it for me either. so i would say that a deep attraction must be there, that goes beyond the physical, but the physical is connected to everything else. it's all part of the package. if that part isn't there, then there will be serious problems, at least for me.