Do older fsubs find yound doms appealing?

[Teen_switch]

It would be very hard to me to let go and submit to a significantly younger dom. I’m primarily a service sub and I love doing things for and worshipping my dominant. With a guy in his 20s, I think it might feel more like mothering him. I’m also not sexually attracted to significantly younger men. If I were chatting with a guy in his 20s, I’d be more likely to be scouting him out to maybe introduce to my daughter.

As I have been repeatedly saying.Keep an open mind. I will propose this, if you're open for conversation. I would love to talk to you,about all aspects of life. I am fairly young myself. I have a good amount of experience in dealing with subs. If at any point in our conversation, you feel like mothering or setting me with your daughter. I will accept the fact that emotional maturity is only earned by age. Please note that I am not writing this message to offend anyone.You,particularly have kept an open mind in this thread and that is the only reason I propose this arrangement. Please reach out to me in my dm if you accept.
Do not mistake this as an attempt to slide into your dms. Thank you.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I am sorry that you view this topic in this particular manner. I will not deny that younger men who claim themselves as dominant really understand the meaning behind it. But it also doesn't make it that everyone under 25 is just dumb. I probably have more experience than many of the people here. I hope you can keep an open mind. If you want to hear my case, I will gladly present it to you.

I never claimed everyone under 25 is dumb. Reread this part, and really think about it:

The D/s dynamic requires a fuckton of trust on the sub’s side and it takes experience, emotional maturity, even-temperedness and consideration to earn, among other things.

Your thread is about whether older subs find younger doms appealing. I gave my honest answer, which is “no.” Since it didn’t sink in the first time, I will put it bluntly: by the time most women get old enough to be considered “older,” they have probably already reached their life quota for the nonsense of emotionally immature men, and men who need women to baby them and/or teach them basic life skills, men who act before considering the repercussions for those around them, men who consciously put their needs above all others…men who are much more likely to hurt them. We. Are. Tired! And yes, training a new Dom also sounds unappealing in itself. Obviously I don’t speak for all older female subs, but I think most women (who like men) in general would probably agree that eventually we come to a point where the emotional immaturity gets old and they want a more emotionally mature man. Some things can only be learned through experiences, both good and bad.

So how does a young would-be Dom like yourself get such life experiences? Of course it’s possible that you may find an older sub willing to give you a chance, but I think you’d have a much better chance learning and growing with someone closer to your own age…someone who hasn’t already had her fill of heartbreak and other bullshit. Just…think about what I’ve said and try not to be the reason the next generation of women like me are wary of younger men. As I mentioned in my previous posts, there are a lot of shitty Doms out there who don’t really understand the responsibility that comes with it. When you do get your chance, don’t be one of those guys.

 

[lucy__b]

Keep an open mind. Identifying jerks is the easiest thing. If someone is just wanting to get into your pants, It is very easy to spot their intentions

Yes, I completely agree

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

If you are patient, the right sub for you will fall into your life

 

[Massacre_]

It entirely depends on how they act. I tend to go for guys that are older than me, but I've had a few textual encounters with guys that were younger. They were few and far between, admittedly, and I would say I prefer older guys, but I'm not going to say that I would never entertain the thought. I'd just be very, very cautious.

 

[Polranny]

It entirely depends on how they act. I tend to go for guys that are older than me, but I've had a few textual encounters with guys that were younger. They were few and far between, admittedly, and I would say I prefer older guys, but I'm not going to say that I would never entertain the thought. I'd just be very, very cautious.

Interesting. PM me

 

[Plasmaball]

It would be very hard to me to let go and submit to a significantly younger dom. I’m primarily a service sub and I love doing things for and worshipping my dominant. With a guy in his 20s, I think it might feel more like mothering him. I’m also not sexually attracted to significantly younger men. If I were chatting with a guy in his 20s, I’d be more likely to be scouting him out to maybe introduce to my daughter.

Why for the daughter? Just the age thing?

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Most people I've met on the fet scene won't go near a 20 year old dom. I've met a couple of guys in their early 20s who claim to be dom but have no real idea about it. Experience counts.

 

[ukfdivorced]

Most people I've met on the fet scene won't go near a 20 year old dom. I've met a couple of guys in their early 20s who claim to be dom but have no real idea about it. Experience counts.

yes I would agree with that

 

[Gingersnapqueen]

I cannot imagine submitting to a significantly younger men.

Same. The age gap is part of the appeal to me - submitting to an older man. But that's just my two cents

 

[SPARTAN047]

Very tough, and I understand if you're having a hard time (following up from anything I might've written previously).

I think younger Dom/mes have less experience and might not know all aspects of dominating or submitting, I was contacted by an 18 year old femdom and some 19 year olds as well.

I heard of someone who wrote Literotica stories about how she trained virgin guys to dominate her, she loved breaking them in the reverse way.

This is a good tip for submissives. Train your Dom/me to dominate you as well if they're less experienced and don't know what to do. You have ideas of how you want to be dominated and your friends. Give them to your Dom/me discreetly and make them feel it's their idea.

If you're a fussy little prissy madam/prince who thinks that all Dom/mes should approach you and be perfectly informed on any aspect of D/s, you'd die alone and you deserve to. No one knows everything, and if other Dom/mes taught you how to submit, you can train and break in a Dom/me on how to dominate you or anyone else. Any kind of knowledge goes both ways. Don't keep your ideas or your life stories so fixed just because you think they should be a certain way.

A good manager at work will listen to their subordinates' ideas and suggestions too if they don't know how to fix a certain problem. This is especially true in IT (where I work). Don't be a high-and-mighty arrogant jerk who knows it all, but do share what you have nicely and listen to your Dom/mes ideas too. They can have vivid and creative imaginations no matter what their age. Respect the fact that they chose to take on you and they should respect that even an older submissive can show them some of the ropes so they can figure the rest out.

 

[KatieDoes]

I’ve had a Dom that was a few years younger than me, and it was a good dynamic. We never engaged in any sort of age play, or age focused play. So it was a non issue for the most part.

That was a few years younger, though. Not 10, 20, 30 years younger. That’s not something that would ever interest me. While I can recognize attractiveness in younger men, much like I can admire a nice painting, I’m not sexually attracted to them. It’s more like ‘he’s a good looking kid’ more than ‘he’s hot, I want him.’

The idea of having sex, let alone submitting sexually, to someone who had to be home before the street lights came on within a few years ago is not remotely appealing.

 

[Erinartpique]

I like the idea(l) of a Boy Boss. Someone significantly younger, but clearly an exceptional human being already - smart, confident, charming, with a kind of ageless mastery of the male/female power dynamic. My sub side definitely relishes the ironic dichotomy (younger over/older under) as a frame for submission.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Very tough, and I understand if you're having a hard time (following up from anything I might've written previously).

I think younger Dom/mes have less experience and might not know all aspects of dominating or submitting, I was contacted by an 18 year old femdom and some 19 year olds as well.

I heard of someone who wrote Literotica stories about how she trained virgin guys to dominate her, she loved breaking them in the reverse way.

This is a good tip for submissives. Train your Dom/me to dominate you as well if they're less experienced and don't know what to do. You have ideas of how you want to be dominated and your friends. Give them to your Dom/me discreetly and make them feel it's their idea.

If you're a fussy little prissy madam/prince who thinks that all Dom/mes should approach you and be perfectly informed on any aspect of D/s, you'd die alone and you deserve to. No one knows everything, and if other Dom/mes taught you how to submit, you can train and break in a Dom/me on how to dominate you or anyone else. Any kind of knowledge goes both ways. Don't keep your ideas or your life stories so fixed just because you think they should be a certain way.

A good manager at work will listen to their subordinates' ideas and suggestions too if they don't know how to fix a certain problem. This is especially true in IT (where I work). Don't be a high-and-mighty arrogant jerk who knows it all, but do share what you have nicely and listen to your Dom/mes ideas too. They can have vivid and creative imaginations no matter what their age. Respect the fact that they chose to take on you and they should respect that even an older submissive can show them some of the ropes so they can figure the rest out.

It's a tough balance though, because, while I do believe communicating your needs, desires, etc. to your partner are important, there is also a line where, if it is crossed, the domme might consider it "Topping from the bottom," and it therefore becomes far less enjoyable for her- and not quite as submissive for you. But again, if you are talking about "Coaching up" as we call it in the corporate world, then it helps if your inexperienced dominant partner is both eager to dominate, and at the same time, willing to be "Coached up" by their subordinate.

 

[Erinartpique]

"Coaching up" is a great way to put it! Or as I might say, "Boy Boss Building".

 

[SPARTAN047]

It's a tough balance though, because, while I do believe communicating your needs, desires, etc. to your partner are important, there is also a line where, if it is crossed, the domme might consider it "Topping from the bottom," and it therefore becomes far less enjoyable for her- and not quite as submissive for you. But again, if you are talking about "Coaching up" as we call it in the corporate world, then it helps if your inexperienced dominant partner is both eager to dominate, and at the same time, willing to be "Coached up" by their subordinate.

It's really difficult and I'm interested in the dynamics of it.

 

[magic_rat]

I am only 20 years of age and would like to call my self a dom.

I'm sure you would but from my experience in the kink world there are a load of early 20s guys who'd like to call themselves dom.

Most of the people I meet somehow look down upon me due to my age. I am certain I weild more knowledge than many of them.

Those two sentences cover it all. You're certain you know more than many older people. They know you don't.

When I was 20 I knew everything there was to know about sex. Now, at 62, I realise I'm still learning. At 20 you know fuck-all. Being a dom is about more than being dominant. You need experience and intuition and empathy and you aren't born with those. You need to form connections and learn to communicate and learn to read people. A good dom knows that the journey is 90% psychology. Dom 10 different people and you'll probably need to work in 10 different ways, and tailor the experience to your sub.

You need to leave your ego at the door, and you don't do that by claiming to be a know-all.

Nothing personal, you might be the exception, but right now, without the experience, I think you just like the idea of being a dom.

 

[magic_rat]

It's a tough balance though, because, while I do believe communicating your needs, desires, etc. to your partner are important, there is also a line where, if it is crossed, the domme might consider it "Topping from the bottom,"

Communication and setting boundaries should happen before play commences. As I like to say, the sub decides the destination, the dom(me) chooses the route.

But this is where age and experience, empathy and integrity come in. You need to know how to map out the journey and not take unexpected detours.

 

[magic_rat]

...there are a lot of shitty Doms out there who don’t really understand the responsibility that comes with it. When you do get your chance, don’t be one of those guys.

This. In a nutshell.